Cien años de soledad

Capítulo 23

"Who dares to steal Shan Yu's beloved steed 'Cinderella'!"

"Brother Dongfang, hurry up!" Su Wu suddenly grabbed the few Xiongnu soldiers.

"Su Wu..."

"Go quickly. I'll take responsibility for the trouble I caused. Remember to go back and tell my mother that I'm incompetent and have no choice but to abandon filial piety to uphold loyalty and righteousness. Please!"

"Su Wu..." Is this fate? I saw the fists and feet of the Xiongnu soldiers raining down on Su Wu. He coughed up blood but refused to let go. What a hero! What a brother!

Sitting behind the little horse, I kept glancing back with a pained expression. I didn't care about his slender waist; all I wanted was for Su Wu to be safe. Why should I worry? But what if the historical records were wrong? What if Su Wu had actually been tortured to death by the Xiongnu? What if the historians were just using this as an excuse to create a hero and boost sales? What if… I really didn't dare to go through with any more possibilities…

Suddenly, something hooked my foot, and I fell violently off the horse.

"Xiaoyuan! Go quickly, don't worry about me!" I shouted, but in my heart I was crying out: Come back and save me... 555... I don't want to die.

Before I could even get up, a pair of delicate feet appeared before me. I looked up and saw: "Princess Fei Hua..."

Fei Hua asked with a serious expression, "Why? I've been so good to you, why would you plot to kidnap my grandmother?"

---janeadam

Reply [68]: "I didn't, I really didn't know about this. If I had known, I would have strongly opposed it."

Why should I believe you?

"Just because..." I turned around and secretly took out the half-eaten wasabi from last time to irritate my eyes, "Just because of my sincere gaze..." Tears involuntarily streamed down my face. This wasabi is too spicy; I should have used less.

"You..." Fei Hua softened as expected, haha! My premonition was right, wasn't it? She's captivated by me. (Aside: This princess must be even nearsighted than Su Wu!)

Fei Hua bit her lip and raised the whip high... Oh dear, I instinctively closed my eyes.

"Snap!" I opened my eyes and saw that a large patch of grass next to me had been cut down.

"You... go!" Fei Hua's eyes were filled with tears.

Oh dear, I had to get out of there before she changed her mind! Xiao Yuan was already on her way from a distance, hooray! I knew she wouldn't abandon me! ...555...so touching.

"etc!"

Huh? They can't have changed their minds so quickly, can they? Women really are fickle!

"Is...is there anything else?"

"You..." Fei Hua blushed, "Could you kiss me before you leave?"

Okay! So she wants me to kiss her goodbye? I'm the kind of person who always grants requests! (Aside: Only for beautiful women, right?)

Before Xiao Yuan arrives, let me taste the princess's beauty. Hehehe... I leaned closer to the princess, who had already closed her eyes, and was about to make my move when suddenly the princess opened her eyes wide: "No! Doing this would be betraying my father!" With that, she ran away shyly...

"Hey!" I had no choice but to swallow the saliva that had just welled up in my mouth. Was I kidding? I had whetted their appetite and then backed out at the last minute. Women are incredibly fickle.

Tch~~ I waved my hand and turned around, only to find Xiaoyuan staring at me with a terrifying look... A bad feeling clouded over my heart.

---janeadam

Reply [69]: Keep posting!

---Fish in love with a Capricorn

Reply [70]: Chapter Thirty-Four: Taking advantage of the "female ghost"!

I quickly called out to the princess's retreating figure in a pretentious tone, "Really, I told you I'm a dangerous man, and I told you not to fall in love with me. Now you're heartbroken, aren't you? My heart only belongs to Xiaoyuan... Ah... Xiaoyuan, what a coincidence? Did you come here specifically to save me?"

……555……I'm not Zhang Guolao, why am I being punished by sitting backwards on a horse, I can't even hug her waist anymore.

What a fine horse! It ran from morning till midnight without a drop of water. I had just finished praising it when I saw it lie down on the ground and wouldn't budge no matter how much I whipped it. No wonder it's called "Cinderella".

Xiaoyuan took out the last apple and deliberately waved it in front of me.

I licked my lips and gazed at her with eyes a hundred times more innocent than a baby's.

Are you hungry?

"Okay!" I nodded.

Xiao Yuan took a bite, and the sweet juice splashed onto my face.

"Let me have a bite too... I don't mind if you've bitten me."

"Apples can't compare to the princess's sweet and delicious taste."

I knew this girl still remembered. I'm a grown man, how can I always put up with your bad temper? Even the kindest person has their bad days! Fine! Today I won't fight over the apple, I'll fight for my pride and I won't eat it! Damn it, a real man would rather die than accept charity! Have some backbone, huh!

I turned to look at the mare, and chuckled... Should I braise her or steam her? That's a question worth considering.

"Don't even think about messing with the horses. Do you want us to be trapped on the grasslands and die?" Xiao Yuan realized my motives.

"You'll starve to death anyway, so you might as well die a well-fed one! And if I die, you won't be able to explain it to your father-in-law." Those words hit the nail on the head. Xiao Yuan suddenly remembered her purpose for coming here… to be my protector!

"Alright then, you can have some!" Xiaoyuan gave in. I've said before that I'm the type to take an inch and then a mile; if I don't throw a tantrum now, how will I establish my authority later?

"No!" I turned my head away. "I said I won't eat, and I mean it! I won't eat it either!"

Whoosh! My neck felt so cold—it was that damned sword again! ...555...

"Okay, I'll just have a little bit then," I said hesitantly. (Aside: You really are a person with a "firm" stance.)

...

"Hey! You're really giving me just a little bit? Can't you even tell the difference between politeness and reciprocity?" I stared at the long string of apple peels in my hand, then at the half-eaten apple that Xiaoyuan had on her face, and tears streamed down my face...

The night sky was dotted with stars. I lay sprawled on the grass, looking like a woman waiting for a lover to pounce on her. It was a comfortable position, really, stretching out my muscles. I lay there for a good hour or so, but why hadn't Xiaoyuan pounced on me yet? Was my position not seductive enough? Looks like I'll have to use my ultimate weapon—the most wicked, most irresistible, and most alluring position in the world… the childbirth position!

I had just parted my legs. "Don't move!" Xiaoyuan suddenly said to me.

Ah? It really worked! I immediately froze in this beautiful childbirth pose, anticipating Xiao Yuan's hungry pounce...

Xiao Yuan slowly crawled over from not far away. Oh dear! Such an alluring expression.

I watched as she slowly crawled between my legs, her eyes fixed intently on me… Oh my, I was so nervous, my whole body was burning hot, my desire was practically igniting! What did she want to do? Anything! Just hurry up, I can't wait!

Xiaoyuan was breathing heavily, her eyes still fixed on my crotch. She slowly reached out her greedy right hand, then her left, both hands slowly moving towards my crotch. She nervously licked her dry lips, then suddenly thrust both hands inside...

"Ah!" I screamed, don't get me wrong! It wasn't because she grabbed some sensitive spot, but because... Xiaoyuan was holding a rather thick venomous snake in her hand! That was close! I almost got bitten there by the snake, you bastard! This beast actually knows the health benefits of eating human penises.

Xiao Yuan twisted the snake's head a few times, and the poor little thing died before it could even say its last words!

I looked at Xiaoyuan with gratitude: "Xiaoyuan, you are truly my second parents. You gave me a second life, so..."

I've decided to repay him with my body!

---janeadam

Reply [71]: "Pah! Disgusting. If I had known the snake would bite you there, I would have seen you still be so arrogant."

"You don't want it? Then my body will be reserved for you forever. Feel free to come and get it anytime you need it!"

...

"Ouch! Why did you put my foot in my mouth? Although I'm very flexible, I'm not a professional athlete!"

...This vicious woman has torn me to shreds...It hurts so much! A sound more terrifying than a wolf's howl echoed across the grassland...

I picked up the two teeth from the ground with a heavy heart: "Xiaoyuan, you're so cruel... 555..."

While grilling the snake meat, Xiao Yuan cursed, "Idiot! Those two are the snake's fangs, of course they have to be pulled out!"

"Oh, is that so? Ugh, oil!" I quickly threw away my tooth.

"It smells so good!" I smelled the snake meat with my nose, which was swollen from being beaten by Xiaoyuan, and reached out to take some.

Xiaoyuan slapped my hand away: "Who gave you permission to eat that?"

"Isn't it ripe yet?"

"No, the meat here is the most tender, so it's mine!" What a domineering woman!

"Then where am I supposed to eat?" I swallowed pitifully.

"Eat this!" Xiao Yuan cut open the snake's belly, revealing an undigested mouse inside...

Wow~~~~~~~~~

...

"I'm so full!" I burped, pulled a small piece of rat tail from between my teeth, looked at it, and then swallowed it. "I never thought rat meat would be so delicious..." (Aside: You don't mean it? Answer: Want a piece too?...Auntie?)

...Why did you faint again? Is your anemia severe?

I looked at Xiaoyuan, then at the sky, and sighed with deep emotion, "Xiaoyuan..."

What?

"Did you know? There are so many stars in the sky..."

"nonsense!"

"But there is only one moon!"

"shit!"

"All the women in the world are like insignificant stars to me, none of them as bright as you, the beautiful moon..."

"..."

"So..." I said with a wicked smile, "Hehehe... let me be a celestial dog for once!" With that, I pounced on Xiaoyuan. (Aside: As expected, when people are well-fed and warm, they think of lust! Does rat meat have an aphrodisiac effect? I should have tried it too.)

Ha ha!

A slender waist... Yay! I got it!

Ha ha!

Round butt... Yay! I pinched it!

Ha ha!

Breast augmentation... Yay! I can feel it!