"Of course you can't see me." Yan Qingli wanted to say that she couldn't see anyone else at that time, but when she said it, her tone remained calm.
So Qiu Lanxi didn't realize that she was just being jealous. After all, in her opinion, she was already being careful to keep her distance from those around her, but normal social interactions were unavoidable. Moreover, Yan Qingli wasn't the type to worry about things that weren't true.
In reality, Yan Qingli cared about it terribly.
Yan Qingli walked into Qiulanxi, her body covered in the scents of various perfumes, none of which were her own. This realization made her extremely frustrated.
She pulled Qiu Lanxi into her arms, and Qiu Lanxi couldn't help but reach out and pinch her tense, seemingly serious face: "Your Highness, do you perhaps intend to have an affair with me here?"
Yan Qingli remained silent, holding Qiu Lanxi's hand. The soft hand felt wonderful as always, but she unconsciously tightened her grip, as if trying to wipe away the marks left by others.
Qiu Lanxi winced in pain and immediately shook off Yan Qingli's hand: "What are you doing?!"
She then realized something was wrong and pursed her lips in annoyance.
Qiu Lanxi broke free from her embrace, frowning as she looked at her: "Just say what's on your mind, why are you getting angry for no reason?"
Yan Qingli has a pair of very sharp eyes, with a sharp edge in the corners of her eyes and eyebrows. When she looks at people without any expression, she can be quite intimidating. Most of the time, Qiu Lanxi is not afraid of her, especially after she and the other person have become lovers.
But very occasionally, Qiu Lanxi would still be frightened by her. From her cold expression, she would think of how she disregarded life in the basement. That was especially different from how the other person usually treated her. Qiu Lanxi would try to avoid all of this because people who grow up in a society governed by law can never face these things with equanimity, and Yan Qingli, who grew up in ancient times, would never be moved or regretful because of such things.
Because here, she is above the law.
Qiu Lanxi couldn't stand her low mood and unconsciously took a step back. She was such a rational and clear-headed person, and also a pessimist, so she always involuntarily made some associations in her mind, such as, when Wen Qing was gone, how would Yan Qingli look at her with those eyes?
After all, it wasn't like she hadn't looked at her like that before.
"Qingqing..." Yan Qingli saw Qiu Lanxi's actions and felt a little bitter at her rejection. He gently tugged at her sleeve and looked up at her. "Don't be afraid of me, okay?"
Even the most rational and calm person will feel like they are walking on thin ice when it comes to emotions; she didn't even dare to take the initiative to hug the other person back.
A slight force came from the hem of her sleeve, and Qiu Lanxi realized that her actions had hurt Yan Qingli. She couldn't control her wild thoughts, but Qiu Lanxi was not a worrier, so she could quickly suppress these thoughts. It was very irrational to sentence someone to death when they hadn't done anything.
“I’m not afraid of you,” Qiu Lanxi suppressed the momentary palpitation in her heart, sat back down, and thought about her words. After a while, she said, “It’s just that you are strong and I am weak. My self-confidence makes it impossible for me to be steadfast at all times. I’m not afraid of you, I’m just… anxious about gains and losses?”
She used a word that was neither quite appropriate nor entirely appropriate.
All words seemed inadequate at this moment. Yan Qingli racked her brains, but she didn't know what to say to convince her that she would never betray her.
In the end, she only said, "I'm sorry, I didn't give you enough confidence."
“This isn’t your problem,” Qiu Lanxi shook her head. Objectively speaking, she believed that Yan Qingli had already done enough. However, as long as Yan Qingli wasn’t strong enough, she might never truly feel at ease. She skipped over the topic and asked, “So, what brings you here today?”
Yan Qingli paused for a moment before saying, "The men around me..."
Before she could finish speaking, Qiu Lanxi immediately understood what it was about, and couldn't help but smile awkwardly, saying in a low voice, "I just want Your Highness to do me a small favor."
After all, there was no one more suitable than Yan Qingli to make those noblemen realize that they were no different from the women they looked down on. If Emperor Qinghe had a penchant for men, Qiu Lanxi would never have chosen Yan Qingli as a tool.
Yan Qingli said in a muffled voice, "Aren't you afraid I won't be able to resist the temptation?"
"Are they as good-looking as me?" Qiu Lanxi said dismissively. "Would I bring Your Highness more joy?"
Yan Qingli: "…………"
She slowly ran her hand through Qiu Lanxi's hair and ruffled it, then turned her face away helplessly. "Don't talk nonsense."
Qiu Lanxi watched as her lowered eyelashes trembled slightly, and couldn't help but smile, then gave her a quick nibble on her neck.
Yan Qingli gently supported her, watching the light and shadow cast by the setting sun at the doorway.
She can keep me happy for a lifetime, so don't leave, don't be afraid, and don't dislike me.
Even after Yan Qingli left, she never mentioned that she had been jealous. She was always like this, able to swallow everything silently and digest it all on her own, leaving people only to vaguely glimpse the truth when they looked back on it later.
Qiu Lanxi was unaware that Yan Qingli was not without unease and would not always remain calm and composed. However, she remembered Yan Qingli's words and, after confirming that the matter was completed, chose a time and found a legitimate reason to stay overnight at the Shao Mansion.
After several such incidents, Yan Qingli, who was originally 'pure and innocent,' was once again embroiled in scandalous rumors. This caused the ministers, who had been hoping for nothing, to gradually give up and stop trying to manipulate the situation through her personal life.
two
On her wedding day, Qiu Lanxi almost had to call the imperial physician because of her injury.
The cause of the matter was simple: Yan Qingli was always very reserved when he was intimate with her, preferring to hold onto the bed sheet rather than touch her. But keeping his distance in such a situation was a bit too much.
So Qiu Lanxi reached out and took her hand, their fingers intertwined. In the heat of the moment, Yan Qingli lost her composure and lost her grip, almost breaking Qiu Lanxi's hand.
She finally understood the risks of an ordinary person falling in love with a martial arts master, and she also understood why she was trembling so much that she didn't dare to push her away. If she pushed her away, wouldn't it be fatal?
Qiu Lanxi was very melancholy. She originally wanted to hold back her cries, but her fair skin was the result of being pampered, and even a little bit of pressure could leave a mark. How could she bear it?
But Qiu Lanxi absolutely refused to summon the imperial physician for such a matter.
Yan Qingli carefully held her hand: "Are you sure we don't need to call the imperial physician?"
Qiu Lanxi shook her head firmly. This wasn't modern times, where you could just go to any hospital. There were countless eyes watching, and besides, Yan Qingli had already let go when she realized what was happening, so there weren't any serious consequences.
After a while, Qiu Lanxi moved her left hand. Although there was still some pain, it was fine now, so Qiu Lanxi didn't care much. However, Yan Qingli's face was still not good, so Qiu Lanxi couldn't help but kiss her: "Don't be unhappy, I'm fine."
Moreover, being able to endure like this must require a great deal of self-control. Qiu Lanxi found it hard to imagine how she could resist such exhilarating moments.
The surrounding crimson hue gave her porcelain-white skin a glow. Qiu Lanxi cupped her face and asked, "Are you feeling unwell?"
Yan Qingli always acted very submissive in bed. She knew perfectly well that the other person was giving in to her, but she had never thought much about it before. She was an introverted person by nature and endured everything almost silently.
Actually, upon closer reflection, everything makes sense. When Yan Qingli hugged her, it was usually when she was calm. Once he tried to take things further, she would become a puppet to be manipulated. Qiu Lanxi had wondered if this was due to ancient education, but now she realized that he was just afraid of accidentally hurting her.
However, people are probably all inherently flawed. The more rational a person is, the more people want to uncover when they succumb to their desires and act irrationally. Qiu Lanxi was very interested in this, and now it seems that she was repeatedly teetering on the edge of danger.
No wonder that whenever Yan Qingli was on the verge of losing his mind, he would stare at her and then turn his head away without saying a word. Qiu Lanxi thought she was angry at the time, but now she realized that Yan Qingli was just relying on her to maintain his collapsing rationality.
Several times, Qiu Lanxi could feel her trembling beneath her, and she always thought it was because Yan Qingli's body was more sensitive.
Looking at it this way, it's quite surprising that she's only now learning her lesson.
“No,” Yan Qingli shook her head, her eyes lowered, her damp hair still clinging to her cheeks, her voice slightly hoarse, “I’m sorry, I startled you again.”
“I wasn’t scared,” Qiu Lanxi blinked, her fingers tracing Yan Qingli’s outline. “I just realized that Qingli likes me so much?”
It was precisely because of her liking that she was able to restrain herself. Her considerable martial prowess and powerful authority were the foundation upon which her ego swelled. When people are free to do whatever they want, no matter how much they remind themselves, they will still do some outrageous things. But she always restrained herself and let Qiu Lanxi do as she pleased without ever trying to make her back down. Instead, she silently endured it all.
She loved her more than Qiu Lanxi had imagined.
Yan Qingli remained silent, only staring intently at her, the tenderness in his eyes flowing like a gentle stream, conveying his feelings without needing words.
After falling in love, she stopped saying sweet words. It wasn't that she felt they were fake or cheap, but rather that she was afraid that if she did, she would lose control. She was the emperor first, then she had feelings. As long as she was on this path, she would never skip this line.
Perhaps the Emperor was right; an emperor should not have a weakness.
But now that it already exists, can't it be forcibly taken away?
Qiu Lanxi looked at her earnestly, then asked with a smile, "Would Your Highness like to kiss me?"
Yan Qingli was taken aback. She had never taken the initiative in such a situation before. It wasn't that she was unwilling, but rather that she was afraid. She wanted to kiss every part of her body, but she was also afraid that if she moved too hard, she would hurt her and would avoid it at all costs.
Qiu Lanxi was on the verge of tears: "Don't you want to?"
"No." Yan Qingli carefully put his arm around her shoulder, tilted his head back and kissed her soft chin, his movements as gentle as if he were handling a rare treasure, repeatedly stroking it without leaving a trace.
Perhaps Qiu Lanxi's tears from the pain had frightened her, because for the next few days she didn't dare to hold hands tightly, and it took several days before she could barely muster the strength to do so.
So cute.
Chapter 62 Extra 2
Yan Qingli was not actually favored by Emperor Qinghe from childhood. It is true that she was Emperor Qinghe's first child, but for Emperor Qinghe, who had already lost power at that time, he was too busy to take care of himself, so how could he have the energy and mind to take care of his children?
Of course, he is not one to give up easily; even in those situations, he was always trying to find a way to break the deadlock.
But none of that mattered to Yan Qingli.
Anyway, for a man in his prime, even if all his children die, he can still have more, right?
Her father was no different from any other man in the world, perhaps even more ruthless. In the face of his ambition, everything else had to give way. But her mother was a person who valued feelings above all else. So it was only natural that after she got married, she would consider her father more than her family. Under her mother's guidance, when Yan Qingli discovered someone who was going against her father, she stood in front of him without hesitation.
Then, the emperor took this opportunity to return to the political center, and the mother and daughter rose rapidly in rank. Unfortunately, the mother's health had already deteriorated due to overwork during that period, which led to her passing away a few days before she could enjoy the fruits of victory.
As the only daughter of her mother, the emperor poured all his guilt and affection into her, showering her with love, and no one could surpass her after that.
But it was only much, much later that Yan Qingli realized that it was actually just pampering, not love.
She was born with superhuman strength and was a good candidate for martial arts. Her father actually took her in after the teacher discovered this through bone reading. Guards couldn't protect against everything, and secret guards could never appear openly and honestly. Who would doubt that a young princess was highly skilled in martial arts?
Yan Qingli disliked such malicious speculation. Who could truly distinguish between reality and fiction? Perhaps it was just a coincidence?
So she didn't dwell on these things; she was still her father's most beloved child.
Yan Qingli couldn't remember when her ambition began. It might have been because of her teacher's praise, her peers' admiration and worship, or because she could freely enter and leave military secrets. Or perhaps it was because she was fearless like a newborn calf, and when her words were recognized and used during her father's discussions, resulting in success.
Ultimately, it might be driven by her resentment at being denied everything simply because she was a girl.
There is always a price to pay for what you gain. Yan Qingli understood this principle from a young age. Her mother became a cherished memory in her father's heart because she died; she became her father's most beloved child because she risked her life for him; her father obtained the throne, but was only one step away from becoming a ruler who would bring about the downfall of his country.
Therefore, Yan Qingli did not feel wronged or difficult. If she did not even make the most basic effort, how could she expect to gain anything?
It was a complete accident that Yan Qingli noticed Qiu Lanxi. She knew that the prince consort had brought back a woman from an enemy country from the battlefield, but at first Yan Qingli did not intend to interfere. There was nothing wrong with being together in name only. If Wang Baiying truly loved her, she would not mind letting them be together.
But the prince consort's character was ultimately not as outstanding as his poetic talent. Men in the world are often fickle. From childhood, elders, both men and women, told them that women were nothing but playthings, and only the principal wife was the one they could spend their lives with. But even with the principal wife, there was no shortage of cases of wives being sold in the common people.
Yan Qingli felt a little sorry for the woman who was brought to the capital. A person who wanted fame, fortune and beauty was destined not to be a good match. But there is no reason for one person to have all the good things in the world, so she took her there.
At first, she really didn't intend to do anything to Qiu Lanxi.
But she never expected that just one glance would feel like an eternity.
Some encounters in this world are like pebbles falling into a pond. You may think you were only moved for a moment, but in reality, they have always existed and will be remembered one day.
A shrewd strategist should not be swayed by emotions, but in one's life there are always some unexpected adventures, such as when she met Qiu Lanxi.
Qiu Lanxi thought that she had that idea first before she approached her, but little did she know that she had seen her first before she had the idea of using her to obstruct the marriage.
She was the high and mighty Princess Shaoguang of Da Ning, so she didn't need to care about other people's opinions or whether they wanted to be with her. She thought that the other person was destined to be her woman.
Thus, from the very beginning, it was destined that even though they were close at hand, they were worlds apart.
Yan Qingli once thought she was more like her father, but she later discovered that she might be more like her mother. However, she also inherited her father's shrewdness because she was just as greedy as everyone else in the world, wanting both the position and her.
Most of people's obsessions probably start with 'wanting'. At first, they just want to get it. Once they get it, they want the other person to be able to see them. Once they can see them, they want the other person to give them their whole heart.
Yan Qingli rarely considers gains and losses; she only knows that she must get what she wants. In fact, she is just like her father, who is very self-centered.
In this process, she gained a lot and lost a lot. Although many of the gains and losses were things she hadn't anticipated at the beginning, she didn't care about them. Thinking too much and wanting too much will only lead to insatiable desires. She was ambitious, but she also knew how to restrain herself. Anyway, she got what she wanted, and as for the rest, there was plenty of time.
Therefore, she never asked whether she loved him or not, nor did she ever tell the other person whether she loved him or not. Not all feelings in this world need to be spoken out to be settled and the truth revealed. As long as it exists, time will inevitably tell the truth to those who want the answer.