The happier one is, the less one can speak. Even Huo Shenyan, who is usually calm and collected and can handle any situation, dares not think about the consequences he will face.
He can't afford it.
“I know Dad’s disappearance has nothing to do with you, you didn’t do it on purpose, right?” Ni Jingxi couldn’t hold onto the umbrella anymore and it fell to the ground. She reached out and hugged him back.
She took the initiative to comfort him, telling him that everything was alright.
But the more she seemed to let go, the more uneasy Huo Shenyan felt.
A light drizzle fell from the sky, landing on their shoulders.
She nestled in his arms, her throat choked with emotion, and remained silent for a long time. Then she blinked and suddenly smiled: "That day I told you that we were breaking up. But ever since then, I've been thinking that I can't even bear to say words like 'break up' or 'divorce' to you."
"How am I supposed to survive if I leave Huo Shenyan?"
Huo Shenyan's heart felt like it had been squeezed tightly, the pain so intense that his very core trembled. He forced himself to say, "Then don't leave. Stay by my side for the rest of your life."
"Grandma entrusted you to me, and I promised her I would protect you for the rest of my life."
“It’s a lifetime, not just a day or two, but every single day that I, Huo Shenyan, live.”
He rested his chin on her forehead, holding her very tightly, as if afraid that if he loosened his grip even slightly, she would disappear completely.
But Ni Jingxi finally lifted her head gently from his embrace.
But life is unpredictable and fate is cruel. One moment she was a happy bride-to-be, and the next she was plunged into an abyss. She thought that meeting Huo Shenyan was the end of her suffering and the beginning of happiness. She used all her strength to live her life, believing it was a reward from heaven.
But in the blink of an eye, everything vanished like dust in the wind.
She knew she should let it go, and she understood that her father's disappearance was truly a cruel twist of fate. Even if Old Sun had personally escorted him back instead of protecting Huo Shenyan, her father might still have disappeared after returning to his dormitory.
But she couldn't help thinking, "But that day will never come."
Just like she couldn't help but think, what if Dad came back safely that day?
"These past few days I've been thinking, if Dad had returned to Shanghai safely back then, would we have never met?"
She will not go to Israel to find her father, and he will not return to Israel.
Then Huo Shenyan and Ni Jingxi would never have met, fallen in love with each other, and gotten married.
Shanghai is so big; even if they lived in the same city, they might not necessarily run into each other in the vast sea of people. It's like a false premise; even though she knows the past cannot be changed, she still can't stop her thoughts.
If she had a choice, would she prefer her father to come back alive, or for her to meet this man?
Huo Shenyan's face was ashen. He looked down at Ni Jingxi and slowly said, "Xingxing, please."
Ni Jingxi had tears in her eyes, but a smile appeared on her lips. She reached out and gently stroked his cheek: "When I was in college, I always heard people talk about what it's like to like someone. But I never liked anyone until I met you. I didn't know that loving someone is so wonderful."
"Actually, I was smitten the moment I first saw you. That's why I desperately wanted to hitch a ride with you."
"When you told me to leave by car first, I really thought I was willing to die with you."
So many things I was too embarrassed to say before, I now want to tell him all of them.
She practically cut open her own chest to show him, to make him understand her feelings.
She loved him, no less.
She will never meet someone she loves so much again in her life.
He is the only one and the one I love most.
“Star,” he called her name again, almost pleadingly.
This time, Ni Jingxi stopped running away. She looked up into his eyes and said seriously, "From the moment I found out about this, I made a thousand excuses for you, telling myself that my father's disappearance really had nothing to do with you. But I still couldn't convince myself, because I couldn't help but think about that impossible possibility, about what if you had paid a little more attention to him and personally sent him back... So if this continues, I will become a different person."
Even if she had forced herself to stay by Huo Shenyan's side, she would have become a resentful and whiny person.
“Ni Jingxi will become someone who is no longer carefree and not cool at all. She will always be unable to resist getting stuck on trivial matters. Will Ni Jingxi still be cute then?” She tilted her head slightly as she looked at him.
Huo Shenyan looked at her silently, his eyes filled with grief like a tidal wave.
He said, "It's okay, I can wait."
If one year isn't enough, then two years; if two years still aren't enough, then five years. He can wait until the day she completely forgives him.
Ni Jingxi: "But we all know that waiting won't solve the problem..."
Moreover, even she herself didn't know what the final outcome of this long wait would be.
"Be careful what you say, and set me free."
The cemetery was so empty and desolate, but her voice struck his heart like a morning bell and evening drum. Then, he heard a rustling sound from the treetops. When he looked up again, he saw a bird flapping its wings in mid-air, circling twice in place.
It soared straight into the sky and finally disappeared completely from sight.
*
Ni Jingxi moved back to her own home, and another photo appeared on the wall. Her maternal grandmother's portrait was placed alongside photos of her maternal grandfather and mother; the three of them were finally reunited.
A week later, she contacted the war correspondent who had once returned to the school to give a speech.
She made a trip to Beijing.
When Qiao Muheng saw her, she seemed to be in pretty good condition. Although her expression was still heavy, she did not look old. He said in a low voice, "Please accept my condolences, Jingxi."
He happened to be in China recently and had heard quite a bit about Ni Jingxi. Even though her upcoming wedding wasn't officially announced, it was practically common knowledge.
But now that her grandmother has passed away, the wedding has had to be canceled, which is truly heartbreaking.
Qiao Muheng didn't expect her to contact him at this time.
"You want to go to Israel?" Qiao Muheng was stunned when he heard Wei Lan's request.
Because there had been recent personnel changes at the newspaper, the reporter who was previously stationed in Israel had been transferred, and the newspaper needed to recruit a new reporter to be stationed there. He didn't expect that Ni Jingxi would be interested.
He looked at Ni Jingxi and asked softly, "Can you tell me why you suddenly made this decision? Jingxi, I know you're doing very well in social news now. I've read several of your reports, and they're insightful and professional. You're very suitable for social news, but in war correspondent reporting, you're a complete newcomer and have to start all over again."
Ni Jingxi remained silent for a long time.
Finally, she looked up and smiled: "Senior, I still remember what you said when you gave a speech at the school. You said, 'Students, the world is so big, why don't you go out and see more of it? After you've seen it, you'll realize how narrow-minded you are, how little you know.'"
This remark caused all the students in the small auditorium to laugh.
Everyone screamed and even stomped their feet at Qiao Muheng's words.
But how many people actually leave after graduation? They once looked up to and envied the path Qiao Muheng took, but very few would choose to follow that path.
It's too difficult, and there's too much to give up.
"I want to see just how big this world can be."
Ni Jingxi knew that she had once again trapped herself in a dead end. She was still entangled in her father's disappearance and Huo Shenyan's concealment. These emotions were like threads that bound her tighter and tighter until they finally trapped her completely.
So she wanted to break down all the barriers and see a wider world before she got trapped by herself.
Moreover, she always regretted her father's disappearance, regretting that she had never properly searched for him and that she had never properly experienced the places where he had lived.
So she wanted to go and see.
Qiao Muheng looked at her and said one last time, "This decision is not simple. Do your family agree? After all, going to Israel is not something that can be done in three or six months. If you go, you will have to stay there for at least a year."
Finally, Qiao Muheng gave her three days to consider it. If she was still willing, he would recommend her.
Three days later, Ni Jingxi returned to Shanghai and called Qiao Muheng again, choosing to go to Israel once more. Even though she had never been exposed to war reporting or experienced the cruelty of war, she was willing to learn from scratch.
She never lacks the courage to start over.
Ni Jingxi still received the divorce agreement personally delivered by Tang Mi. She gave up all of Huo Shenyan's Hengya shares. The agreement stipulated that she would receive cash and various jewelry collections worth billions.
This is all he could give her.
Before she could sign, Tang Mian couldn't help but ask, "Madam, is it really necessary to do it this way?"
He could clearly see that Ni Jingxi still loved President Huo so much, so why did it have to come to this?
Ni Jingxi was already prepared to sign.
The pen tip paused.
“I used to think that unrequited love was ridiculous. If two people really love each other, what can’t they overcome?” She looked at Tang Mian with a bitter smile.
Now she knows that it really exists.
She was afraid that she would become indecisive, afraid that she would eventually blame Huo Shenyan, which would be too unfair to him.
"It's signed." As Ni Jingxi was about to hand it to him, a tear suddenly fell onto the paper. She quickly tried to wipe it away, but the more she wiped, the more tears fell.
She cried and asked anxiously, "Does this count as getting it dirty?"
In the end, Tang Mian reached out and took it, whispering to comfort her, "It doesn't count, it doesn't count, it's okay."
Ni Jingxi covered her face with her hands. After a long while, she wiped away her tears, looked up at Tang Mian, and said a little embarrassedly, "You see, I wasn't such a crybaby before."
This is fucking awful, Tang Mian felt like he was being tortured.
He wished he could tear up this damn divorce agreement right now.
This continued until the night before Ni Jingxi left the country.
Xiao Yichen arrived at the hotel where Huo Shenyan was staying. He hadn't been home recently and had been staying in a suite at this five-star hotel near the company.
The top floor is also the place closest to the sky.
When you look up, you can see the stars.
When Xiao Yichen came in, he saw him sitting by the window, leisurely looking up at the sky.
He seemed like a nice person, but Xiao Yichen turned his head and looked at the almost untouched food on the table next to him, and said in a low voice, "You're not eating or drinking and you're still working so hard, are you really preparing to become an immortal?"
"Who said I didn't drink anything?" Huo Shenyan held up the water glass next to him, which actually contained goji berries.
Ni Jingxi bought this, saying that Hua Zheng dragged her to buy it together, because it's good for your health to make tea.
However, she didn't like drinking it, so she always forced him to drink it.
Xiao Yichen sat cross-legged on the carpet next to him: "Why don't you tell your buddy what's going on?"
He didn't know about this, he just knew that Huo Shenyan had been acting very strangely lately.
However, Huo Shenyan didn't have much of a desire to confide in anyone; he was the type to keep everything bottled up inside. So, in the end, Xiao Yichen opened a bottle of wine, "How about I drink with you until we drop?"
In the end, it was Xiao Yichen who got drunk, while Huo Shenyan remained sober throughout.
He looked at Xiao Yichen, who was hugging him and wailing, and gently tugged at the corner of his mouth.
The next morning, he changed into a suit and went out. His car was already waiting downstairs; he was going to Suzhou for a meeting that day. After the car drove onto the elevated highway, Tang Mian, sitting in the passenger seat, remained hesitant to speak.