Confession
"I've decided that from this moment on—I'm going to re-plan my future!" The girl's voice was bright and spirited, revealing a resolute determination.
"Really?" The boy's voice was lazy, clearly uninterested in what the other person was saying.
"I said I want to say goodbye to my past self completely! I want to create a brand new me!" This solemn declaration, as if to prove her determination, was accompanied by the girl's constant waving of her small fists.
"Yeah, yeah, do whatever makes you happy." With his hands lazily in his pockets, the boy looked completely uninterested in her energetic slogan.
"So—" He deliberately dragged out the last syllable, as if he were about to announce a major decision.
"So?" the boy repeated, waiting for her to continue.
On Sunday, the streets were bustling with traffic and people. Cheng Yongxin and Jiang Haozhe stood in front of a shop. Amidst the throngs of people, they stood quietly facing each other, which was particularly eye-catching.
Jiang Haozhe's refined and handsome face was filled with a gentle and approachable smile, and his voice was also very mild and soft: "...Well then, Cheng Yongxin, I'd like to ask a question first, is that alright?"
"What's the problem? Tell me!" Blinking her big, cat-like eyes, Cheng Yongxin looked as innocent as an elf.
Jiang Haozhe took a breath, then another. Finally, as if he had reached his breaking point, he glared at the smiling girl in front of him and, without any manners, pointed to the shop next to them—
"You want to get back on your feet? Fine! You want to start a new life? No problem! But can you tell me what that has to do with what you're going in to buy?!"
A gust of wind blew by, causing the colorful flags on the shops beside them to flutter loudly, and the sunlight shone perfectly on those small flags—a specialty store for maternity and baby products.
"I want to go home."
Turning around, Jiang Haozhe left without looking back. He felt that he had been incredibly stupid today. He shouldn't have been so overjoyed that she took the initiative to find him, and he shouldn't have been so proud of himself. He had so easily agreed to go out with her, and he actually hoped that she had finally realized his feelings... He was incredibly foolish to even think that!
This girl is as thick-skinned as a telephone pole! Expecting her to realize it herself? That's simply impossible!
"Don't go!" Although the streets were now teeming with people, Cheng Yongxin didn't care about her image and clung to him from behind like an octopus.
"Let go!"
"I won't let go!"
"open!"
"I won't let go! I'd rather die than let go!"
He was resolute, but she was even more resolute. Her long, clear eyes stared unceremoniously into her bright, beautiful eyes. If martial arts masters in novels competed with each other using their inner energy, these two were truly testing their skills with their gazes, seeing who would give in first. The onlookers around them watched with amusement, while others shook their heads and sighed.
"Young people these days—they're so affectionate in public, they don't even care about the consequences, it's indecent..."
"Honey, look how close they are... such passionate eye contact! You've never looked at other people like that before!"
"Oh—how daring!"
Amidst the constant gossip and chatter, Cheng Yongxin and Jiang Haozhe couldn't pretend they didn't hear it; their faces turned as red as two red tomatoes.
"Even if it's a gift for Sonoko-nee, you don't have to insist on buying this."
Feeling awkward due to the stares of those around him, Jiang Haozhe finally gave in and was reluctantly dragged into the store by Cheng Yongxin. His face flushed slightly as he felt extremely embarrassed.
"Wouldn't it be nice to give them other gifts, like vases or CDs?"
"Please! When someone is about to have a baby, everyone gives them baby clothes and shoes! It's only natural for us to give them maternity clothes, what's there to be embarrassed about!" Cheng Yongxin exclaimed, unable to bear this guy's stubbornness. He's not the one who's going to be a father, why is he so embarrassed?
If her mother hadn't mentioned it yesterday, she wouldn't have known that Yuanzi was married and about to become a mother. Speaking of which, Brother Jiang, Yuanzi, Jiang Haozhe, and she were all childhood friends. Yuanzi and Brother Jiang were about the same age, but they lost contact after Yuanzi's family moved. She'd always considered Yuanzi her older sister, and now that her sister was married and about to become a mother, she, as the younger sister, naturally wanted to show her some appreciation. Anyway, Jiang Haozhe knew Yuanzi, so she naturally dragged him along to do it. Look how thoughtful she was, unlike that guy, who always seemed to be missing a screw in his head! Who would bring a vase and CDs when visiting a pregnant woman? Only a clueless idiot like Jiang Haozhe would come up with such a stupid idea!
"Hey, why are you hiding so far away? Come and take a look!" Seeing Jiang Haozhe huddled far away, looking like he was ashamed to be seen, Cheng Yongxin felt dissatisfied.
"Anyway, it's just the kind of stuff you women use, you can choose whatever you want, why did you call me here?" Jiang Haozhe practically wanted to cover his face with a paper bag. He felt incredibly embarrassed and hoped he wouldn't run into any acquaintances at this moment, otherwise he would be utterly humiliated!
"Hey! You know what 'a woman dresses up for the man she loves' means, right?!" Cheng Yongxin yelled at him with her hands on her hips. "Girls, of course, want the person they like to like their clothes too. Otherwise, why would I drag you along? I wanted you to choose clothes with a guy's eye!"
Someone as beautiful as Sonoko would dress up nicely even in maternity clothes, so of course they'd choose a nice outfit as a gift! That idiot surnamed Jiang doesn't even understand this basic principle; he's such a waste of his height! He's wasting the country's resources!
"Okay, okay." Jiang Haozhe reluctantly strolled out from the corner, quickly glanced at the clothes hanging on the hangers, trying hard not to look at the lingerie hanging there that made him blush, and then lowered his head again. "They're all fine, any of them are pretty, is that okay?"
"Hey! Your attitude is so perfunctory! Be serious!" Dissatisfied with his perfunctory attitude, Cheng Yongxin pulled him over and straightened his head with both hands. "Look at me carefully! Honestly, you have no sincerity at all!"
"Let go! It hurts!"
"I told you to look properly, what are you yelling about!"
"How am I supposed to look at you like this..."
"Excuse me, do you two need any help?"
The two arguing finally caught the attention of the shop assistant. Adhering to the shop motto of "the customer is God", the shop assistant asked very politely and with a smile.
Seeing someone approach, Cheng Yongxin quickly released her hand that had been gripping Jiang Haozhe's cheek, and gave a slightly embarrassed laugh, "Um...we...we want to choose maternity clothes."
"Maternity wear, is it?" the saleswoman asked with a smile, taking a catalog from the counter behind her and spreading it out in front of the two of them. "Our store has a very complete selection of maternity wear, all designed according to the length of a woman's pregnancy. We have clothes for three months of pregnancy, six months, and even more than seven months. How many months pregnant are you looking for?"
"How many months?" Cheng Yongxin was stunned. She had only made this decision after hearing the news from her mother. How could she know how many months pregnant Yuanzi was?
"This..." Cheng Yongxin scratched her head in confusion and smiled awkwardly, "This... I don't know."
"Don't know? How could you not know?" This time, it was the shop assistant who was surprised. How could someone who was about to become a mother not know how many months pregnant she was?
She then smiled gently, probably because she was embarrassed about being pregnant at such a young age, "Don't be embarrassed, we serve many customers like you every day, so you don't need to worry at all."
"Concerns? I have no concerns." Cheng Yongxin was baffled by what she said and looked completely bewildered. What was there to worry about when buying maternity clothes?
"No reservations? Hehe, so you mean any style will do?" The saleswoman smiled knowingly. "I know pregnant women are usually quite concerned about their appearance and don't want their bellies to be too noticeable. We have maternity clothes here specially designed for women like that. How about you try some on?"
"Try it?" Cheng Yongxin was even more confused, but after a moment she nodded in sudden realization: This store's service is really thoughtful. They even considered the possibility that the clothes might not fit when buying them for someone else. They are so considerate.
"But I don't know if my body shape will fit," Cheng Yongxin said somewhat embarrassedly. Her body shape was different from Yuanzi's, so how could she try it on?
The saleswoman found it amusing, "Why don't you try it on yourself? You can also ask your husband what he thinks."
"...I...sir?" Cheng Yongxin repeated subconsciously, then followed the shop assistant's meaningful gaze to Jiang Haozhe, who was "resting with his eyes closed" to the side. Cheng Yongxin was immediately embarrassed.
The shop assistant actually thought she and Jiang Haozhe were a young couple who came to buy maternity clothes... Good heavens, this is the second time they've been mistaken for a couple. Do they really look that much like a couple?
"No, no! You've misunderstood! He's not my husband! I'm not married yet!" Cheng Yongxin explained hurriedly, her pretty face flushed red.
Not a couple? The shop assistant was clearly taken aback for a moment, then gave an even more ambiguous smile—oh, they're a couple living together, these young people these days... Living together is perfectly normal, she wouldn't discriminate against them.
“A friend of ours is about to have a baby, and we’re planning to buy her maternity clothes as a gift.” Jiang Haozhe explained calmly, his voice indifferent, as he saw right through the saleswoman’s wicked intentions.
"Huh? Is that how it is?" The shop assistant's eyes clearly showed her doubt.
"Of course it's like this! What else could it be like!" Cheng Yongxin roared unhappily. What was this person doing? Did she think everyone's thoughts were as wicked as hers? And she was smiling so ambiguously, as if she and Jiang Haozhe had really done something shameful!
"I'm so angry! What kind of look did that person have?!"
Holding the packaged clothes, Cheng Yongxin walked out of the maternity and baby products store with a resentful expression.
"Do we look like a married couple? Why do people always mistake us for one?"
She and that guy surnamed Jiang don't look like a couple at all. They're clearly not compatible, and their relationship is strained. Are there really so many blind people in the world who would think they're a couple? Are there really couples in the world with such a terrible relationship?
"It's just a misunderstanding, is it really necessary to get so worked up?" Jiang Haozhe's voice remained calm, his breathing even, without any ripples.
Cheng Yongxin rolled her eyes at him, annoyed. "Of course you can say that! I'm a girl! Do you know how important reputation is to a girl? A guy being unfaithful can be called charming, but a girl being unfaithful is called promiscuous. You may not care, but I can't!"
"Then what do you want?" Jiang Haozhe was almost speechless at her stubbornness.
"What can you do about it? Are you planning to wear a sign around your neck that says, 'Jiang Haozhe and I are not a couple'?"
"Only a lunatic would write like that!"
"That's it. It's easier to guard against what others say than to prevent a river from flowing. You can't control what others say. Just don't take it to heart." Jiang Haozhe didn't care. Anyway, those people didn't know them. Let them misunderstand. There was nothing to worry about.
"That's just how you boys are!" Cheng Yongxin felt indignant at the mention of this. "Careless, not gentle or attentive, what you consider unimportant is very important to us girls!"
"What's wrong with you again?" Jiang Haozhe frowned, puzzled as to why she suddenly lost her temper.
"Hmph! I'm angry!" With her sleeves rolled up, Miss Cheng began dredging up old grievances. "Do you remember Hu Limei, who was my deskmate in fourth grade?"
"...I don't remember." A bead of sweat dripped down Jiang Haozhe's forehead. How could he remember something from so long ago? It's only thanks to her good memory.
Cheng Yongxin gave him a disdainful look that said, "See? I knew it."
Do you know that she likes you?
"...I don't know." He doesn't even remember if this person exists, so how could he know these things?
"I knew it!" Her eyes clearly showed it. She rolled her eyes at him and continued counting on her fingers, "And Fang Qiaoling, and Bai Jie... Ugh, anyway, back then, a lot of girls in the class liked you, some from other classes, some from other grades, and everyone agreed that they just secretly liked you and didn't say anything. But you didn't even feel anything. I don't know how many times those girls cried for you in secret."
And what about you? Did you like me back then?
He wanted to impulsively ask that question, but the words stuck in his throat and he swallowed them back, because he already had the answer in his heart—at that time, she was busy pursuing "her" Brother Jiang, how could she possibly notice him?
"It's because of your slowness that you have no idea how much those girls suffer. They can't bring themselves to speak up, and they don't have the courage to say anything. They're afraid of being rejected, and that feeling of having no hope at all is incredibly despairing." Cheng Yongxin spoke with the air of someone who had been through it all, earnestly advising, "So, brother, you must change this in the future. Don't think that just because you're good-looking you can look down on everyone, or even the best opportunities will slip away!"
"My heart has already been with you, but you still won't give me a chance," he thought to himself.
"Hey! I've said so much to you, did you hear me?" Dissatisfied with his silence, Cheng Yongxin looked up and glared at him, only to be shocked by his expression.
"Hey, Jiang Haozhe, what's wrong with you?" She looked at him in surprise, not understanding why his expression seemed to have been suddenly struck by something, filled with despair.
Looking into her clear, obsidian-like eyes, Jiang Haozhe remained silent.
...Now, in my heart, Yongxin is no longer a child...
...And, if she wanted, I could treat her as a woman...
That night, his elder brother's words echoed in his ears again, like a sharp awl piercing his heart, one needle after another, soft and long.
She has the right to know, and besides, didn't you decide to stay by her side as a guardian? His conscience repeated itself over and over in his heart, making him feel suffocated.
Should he tell her? Can he tell her?
Can he really bring himself to tell her that his older brother also has feelings for her?
If he didn't say anything, he could at least disappoint and hurt her for a while longer, while he would have more opportunities to interact with her. Perhaps she would understand his feelings and reciprocate... But if he did say something, her resolve to give up would likely be rekindled, and she would become even more devoted, like a moth drawn to a flame... In that case, perhaps she would truly have no further connection with him, and they would truly be destined to be apart...
"What's wrong? Say something!" Seeing that he was just silent, Cheng Yong became anxious. His expression suddenly looked so bad. Could it be that he had suddenly fallen ill?
Staring blankly at her, at the way she looked at him, a taut thread seemed to be ripped from his heart, causing him unbearable pain. He closed his eyes, as if gathering his courage, and slowly spoke: "...Actually—my brother...he said that if you're willing, he can...treat you as a woman..."
The last few words felt like two hands were gripping his neck, making it hard to breathe. But he said them anyway, because he didn't want to see her sad and dejected face. So he chose to say them; at least this way, she would be happy, and perhaps he could feel a little better...
"...What?" Cheng Yongxin was stunned, not understanding why he would suddenly say such a thing. She assumed that he was really sick and that his mind was not clear. She touched his forehead with her warm hand: "...It really is a little hot. Let's go back quickly. You should have said so earlier if you were not feeling well. I wouldn't have dragged you out."
The hand that touched his forehead was so warm and gentle... It was precisely this gentleness that amplified his inner unease. Jiang Haozhe raised his head, his clear eyes fixed on her, and spoke clearly, word by word: "My brother said... as long as you're willing, he can treat you like a woman... You still have a chance, don't give up so soon."
Cheng Yongxin was stunned. In disbelief, she pinched her arm hard. The faint pain seemed to tell her that this was real and not her hallucination. In Jiang Haozhe's eyes, her action was an unbelievable ecstasy.