Peaceful Jianghu - Chapter 103
"Want some or not?"
Just then, a tray appeared in front of me, containing chicken that looked and smelled delicious.
Xiao Dao glanced at it, reached out and pinched a chicken wing, stuffing it into his mouth. Turning his head, he saw that Xue Beifan was holding the plate, the wing still in his mouth, not swallowing, looking at him with a complicated expression.
Xue Beifan chuckled, "So you ate first and then asked questions..."
Xiao Dao stared wide-eyed, a chicken wing dangling from his mouth.
"Try it, it tastes pretty good." Xue Beifan also took a piece and put it in his mouth.
Xiao Dao chewed on the knife and found it quite fragrant, so he grabbed another piece. Xue Beifan grinned and said, "Pigeon meat is pretty delicious too, isn't it?"
"Pfft..." Xiao Dao spat out all the meat. "You ate the carrier pigeon Youyou gave you? You're going to die!" Xiao Dao was about to run to look at the carrier pigeon in the cage when Xue Beifan reached out and grabbed her, shoving the plate into her hands. "Are you willing to talk to me now?"
Xiao Dao Bai Ta.
"Eat up, it's chicken." With that, Xue Beifan sat down, pulled a small wine pouch from his waist, and waved it at Xiao Dao. "Want some?"
Xiao Dao ignored him and turned to leave with the plate, but Xue Beifan grabbed her skirt.
Turning around, Xiao Dao looked at him with displeasure.
"Sit down for a bit?" Xue Beifan looked up at her. "Are you still angry with me?"
Xiao Dao still ignored him, but he didn't leave either. He stood there, holding a plate and gnawing on a chicken leg.
Xue Beifan held onto her skirt tightly, and the two faced off like this at the edge of the boat.
"It was my fault. I'll apologize however you want." Xue Beifan grabbed Xiao Dao's skirt.
Suddenly, a memory flashed through Xiao Dao's mind: something her mother had once told her—some people make mistakes unintentionally, then apologize earnestly, again and again. When they make a mistake, they seem more innocent than anyone else; when they apologize, they seem more sincere than anyone else. Little do they know, if they truly repented, they wouldn't repeat the mistake. Sometimes, when apologizing becomes a habit, making mistakes also becomes a habit.
Humans are inherently contradictory. The more you love someone, the less you want to be deceived by them; similarly, the more you love someone, the easier it is to forgive their mistakes. Thus, love leads to deception, deception leads to apologies, love leads to forgiveness, and forgiveness condones deception. In the end, it quickly becomes impossible to distinguish between love and deception, or perhaps, this kind of love itself is a form of deception.
Xiao Dao stood there, looking down at Xue Beifan. She knew in her heart that this wasn't the first time Xue Beifan had apologized, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Should she also make this a habit? Continue, or stop here...?
Seeing that Xiaodao was just standing there in a daze, Xue Beifan finally stood up, went to her side, and asked in a voice only Xiaodao could hear, "Do you think I'm a bad person?"
Xiao Dao paused for a moment, then didn't say anything, just glanced at him sideways.
"You don't really know me at all."
Xiao Dao pouted, as if to say, "Actually, you're not a bad person, are you?"
"Actually, I'm worse than you think."
Xiao Dao blinked, glancing at Xue Beifan. When someone is shameless, nothing can stop them. Once they completely give up, nobody can do anything about it…
Xue Beifan laughed, "So far, I have never gotten what I truly wanted."
Xiao Dao frowned slightly.
"To be honest, I don't really want anything in particular." Xue Beifan sighed. "From childhood to adulthood, apart from one thing, I've never deliberately strived for anything."
“Now, besides that matter, there’s one more person.” Xue Beifan grasped Xiao Dao’s hand. “Occasionally, you should make your own judgment.”
Xiao Dao didn't quite understand, so he turned to look at him.
"Don't always make decisions based on what your mother taught you," Xue Beifan smiled. "Just listen to your own feelings this time."
Xiao Dao frowned. She was new to the world of martial arts, and everything her mother said was true. If she didn't want to get hurt, she had to listen to her mother.
“What your mother said is indeed true.” Xue Beifan seemed to see through Xiao Dao’s thoughts. “But sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily get the desired result.”
Xiao Dao pouted, "Nonsense."
Xue Beifan breathed a sigh of relief when she spoke, and nudged her with his shoulder, saying, "Cheer up."
Xiao Dao rubbed his shoulder and glared at him, "You scoundrel."
Xue Beifan shrugged, indicating that she could say whatever she wanted.
Xiao Dao realized he had no way to deal with Xue Er, and he couldn't leave now. The only way to escape was to get ashore. Rather than making things more difficult for himself, he figured he might as well make the best of it, since it wasn't his fault anyway. Xiao Dao wasn't one to hide his unhappiness, so he decided to go to the kitchen for another bowl of rice while munching on a chicken leg.
As Xue Beifan watched her stroll away, his expression turned serious. Was Xiao Dao a card his elder brother had found on the spur of the moment, or a pawn meticulously planned? He couldn't tell anymore. Initially, he only wanted to play along, but now, this girl had captured half his heart. How could he bring himself to do it? If he disrupted the plan or gave up now, he would lose everything and face utter ruin…
"Heh." Xue Beifan shook his head and smiled bitterly. Trouble always comes unexpectedly. He was probably in a dilemma.
Just as he was feeling troubled, Chonghua came up from behind and gently patted him on the shoulder.
Xue Beifan saw him holding a wine jar and looking up at the sky, "I need to be more sober right now, alcohol probably won't solve the problem."
"Then you sober up, I need to drown my sorrows in alcohol." Chonghua sat down, holding a wine glass, one glass after another.
Xue Beifan looked at him, puzzled. "Hey, what are you doing?"
Chonghua looked at him and said, "Let's drink!"
Xue Beifan frowned. "I'm torn. Why don't you just forge ahead? What's the point of drinking?"
"Go forward bravely?" Chonghua looked dejected. "What's the use? There's such a thick wall blocking our way."
Xue Beifan was aware that Chonghua and Xiaoyue had seemed a bit strange these past few days, and frowned, "Did you tell Xiaoyue?"
"Hmm... After I told her I liked her that night while I was drunk, she started to distance herself from me." Chonghua rested her chin on her hand. "I really shouldn't have listened to Hao Jinfeng. Being too direct backfired."
"There are some questions we'll have to ask sooner or later." Xue Beifan patted him on the shoulder. "We'll have to take this step forward eventually."