— Constantly asking if someone loves you seems too pretentious, and Liang Shi wouldn't like that kind of pretentiousness.
She had comforted herself with these words countless times, but she was really too greedy.
She thought she could always keep her promise to Liang Shi, just like she had made at the beach—you can kiss me, and you don't have to take responsibility.
Xu Qingzhu used to think that relationships were a personal matter. She believed that if she liked someone, the other person didn't need to reciprocate, and she would take care of her own feelings.
Whether you like me or not, it won't affect my liking for you.
Even if you dislike me, even if you have many concerns, as long as you fall in love at this moment, I can let you irresponsibly enjoy this moment of pleasure.
because I love you.
But Liang Shi was too good.
He was so good to her that she wanted to possess him, wanted him to smile only at her, wanted him to show that doting smile only to her, and wanted him to be with her and feel love only when they were together.
Xu Qingzhu wanted to be the only one in her world, the most unique one by her side.
It's not simply because she's his wife that she's gentle and kind to him.
Liang Shi was kind to everyone.
Xu Qingzhu is not special.
Just now, Xu Qingzhu wanted an answer, but seeing Liang Shi's troubled expression, she felt that the answer wasn't so important anymore.
As long as Liang Shi is still by my side, that's fine.
She didn't want to see Liang Shi's sad expression.
Xu Qingzhu convinced herself that she could handle it all by herself.
She wanted to give Liang Shi lots and lots of love, to make up for all the love she hadn't received.
But she inadvertently created a problem for Liang Shi.
Xu Qingzhu felt a sharp pain in her heart. She lowered her eyes and said, "It's really nothing, don't overthink it. I just..."
She paused, then pretended to be nonchalant as she comforted Liang Shi, "I was just teasing you."
Liang Shi was taken aback. "What do you mean?"
"Just..." Xu Qingzhu said, then kissed her, "Just kidding, to lighten the mood."
That's utter nonsense.
Not to mention Liang Shi, even Xu Qingzhu herself didn't believe it.
But Xu Qingzhu herself was already in a terrible mood.
These past few days, she has inevitably been thinking about these things, falling into a vicious cycle of thought.
Even at the worst times, I thought it would be better to get a divorce.
She married that person back then, not the current Liang Shi.
But once divorced, can one remarry?
Will Liang Shi still be with her now?
This was a question she almost dared not think about, because she had even secretly shed tears in her office over it.
Although she categorized these as: post-estrus sensitivity.
I also looked up information online, which said that Omegas experience this kind of unease after being marked by an Alpha, worrying that the Alpha might leave at any time.
After all, in the relationship between Alpha and Omega, the Omega is the one most affected.
Both physically and psychologically, Omegas are more dependent on Alphas, which is said to be due to the influence of pheromones.
But Xu Qingzhu felt that even without pheromones, she was still greatly affected by this.
Pheromones are just an external aid, but she is psychologically dependent on Liang Shi.
This dependence doesn't mean she needs Liang Shi to do things for her, but rather that she's worried he might leave her.
Just like before, he remained unconscious.
Although she has now woken up and promised not to disappear again like last time.
But is what she said necessarily true?
Her last disappearance was something she hadn't anticipated.
How credible are the guarantees made by Liang Shi himself about things he doesn't even know?
Liang Shi was very calm. Although she would blush if teased by her, she would also blush when she saw a couple doing something intimate on the street.
That's just her characteristic.
This cannot be taken as proof that she loves herself.
Xu Qingzhu sometimes felt that she was too smart and too fond of observing and pursuing details.
She could clearly judge many things, just as she knew that Liang Shi would need something from her.
As I got to know Liang Shi better, I realized that she was not a person with wide-ranging or refined interests.
Even if she were an ordinary person, Xu Qingzhu would still like her.
But she would take Xu Qingzhu to concerts.
Although the pianist was internationally renowned, his reputation was not very good. Xu Qingzhu didn't actually like him that much, but when Liang Shi asked her, she said she did.
And that time I went to work on ceramics.
Liang Shi took this kind of handicraft very seriously, but she wasn't very interested in it; she just did it like a task to be completed.
In addition, there was that time we went to play an escape room game.
Xu Qingzhu was genuinely panicked. She wished she could tell Liang Shi frankly, "Tell me what tasks you need to do, and I'll help you complete them."
But she dared not; she was afraid that Liang Shi would back down or be frightened.
Therefore, one can only probe gently, obtaining the answer one wants through repeated attempts.
Xu Qingzhu would never refuse anything Liang Shi proposed.
All of this stems from this.
Xu Qingzhu felt that she could deceive herself for the rest of her life, as long as Liang Shi was still the same Liang Shi.
She is her older sister.
She can do it.
But recently, her emotions have been increasingly on the verge of spiraling out of control. She always thinks about many things for no reason, which makes her sleepless and brings her to tears. In the end, she tries to stir up Liang Shi's feelings late at night and does those things with him to calm herself down.
After going through her estrus cycle, she became increasingly anxious and insecure.
One day, she even had a nightmare and woke up to find the space next to her empty. She was so scared that she trembled and hurriedly got up to look for it, but her legs buckled and she fell to her knees.
That day, Liang Shi simply got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.
When Liang Shi returned, he was startled to see her kneeling on the ground. He immediately went over, picked her up, and asked her what was wrong.
Xu Qingzhu belatedly realized that her behavior was too absurd, and she dared not say that she did it because she was afraid that Liang Shi would disappear, for fear that Liang Shi would feel guilty because she had been unconscious for a long time.
So Xu Qingzhu lied and said, "I slept for too long and my legs went numb."
Liang Shih even laughed at her, saying, "You've really seen something like this in your lifetime."
They did something absurd again that day.
From midnight until dawn, Xu Qingzhu's voice was hoarse from crying.
Those emotions that she dared not express in front of Liang Shi were all released through sex.
Xu Qingzhu dared not stay in this space any longer, afraid that she would burst into tears.
She forcefully pulled her hand away from Liang Shi's. "I really have something to do, I have to go now."
Liang Shi, however, pulled her into his arms.
After a moment, Liang Shi said, "Xu Qingzhu, there can be no one else."
Liang Shi's voice was somewhat hoarse, and he found it rather difficult to speak in this relatively formal situation and setting.
But she still firmly said, "Only you."
—You are unique, and special.
Chapter 144 Xu Qingzhu's Perspective
Xu Qingzhu touched up her lipstick in the car before going back.
I completed it together with Liang Shi.
Both of them had their makeup completely ruined.
Xu Qingzhu's condition was particularly severe; despite using waterproof eyeliner and mascara, her eyes were still smudged with black from her tears.
It was quite serious, so she simply used makeup remover wipes to remove her makeup, and then casually applied some BB cream and lipstick.
It's barely passable.
Liang Shi didn't say anything; she really couldn't understand this kind of question.
When she said, "Aren't there many kinds of liking someone?", Xu Qingzhu lost all hope for her.
Xu Qingzhu belatedly realized that she had been too sensitive.
To be precise, she has been very sensitive during this period.
Especially in the last two days.
I always tend to have random, unfounded thoughts.
Today I was merely tentatively voicing my wild thoughts, and the result was not as expected.
But it was somewhat expected.
Liang Shi hugged her and said, "Xu Qingzhu, it's only you."