Zhao Xuning drove back home. There were quite a few people at home; it was a family gathering. Not only her sister was there, but Zhao Ying and Zhao Ling were also there.
Her family is large, with seven or eight people of her generation, half of whom are married.
Zhao Xuning is not actually that old, but she skipped grades and worked very quickly, which makes her seem older.
While having dinner at the same table, an elder asked her how old she was.
Zhao Xuning paused, then answered coldly, "Twenty-five."
"They're still young," the elder said. "But they're at the age where they should be dating. They should date for two years and then get married. They should have children as soon as possible."
Zhao Xuning, who was in front of her, was used to it and ate quietly. But when she heard the word "children," her hand holding the chopsticks suddenly tightened, and her throat felt itchy. She turned her head and coughed.
Sitting next to her, Zhao Ying came to her rescue: "What's the rush? We're still young."
"You're still young," Zhao Ying's mother suddenly spoke, her tone icy. "You're almost thirty. But are you and Yang Shuyan really together? I saw online that you two are dating?"
Zhao Ying was stunned for a moment.
Zhao Ling lowered her head, trying not to laugh.
"No way!" Zhao Ying waved her hand dismissively, lying without batting an eye. "It's all just gossip from marketing accounts. Look at how badly Yang Shuyan's fans are attacking me! Why would I be with her?"
Zhao Ying's mother poked Zhao Ying's head: "Don't let your uncles and aunts laugh at you. You're always making up couples online, but none of them are real."
Zhao Ying: "..."
CP is a pairing.
Ms. Zhao, who is addicted to playing cards and ballroom dancing, has only a superficial understanding of the jargon used in the entertainment industry. When she spoke about it seriously, Zhao Ying explained, "Those are all for work purposes. I'm not familiar with them at all."
"So who are you close to?" Ms. Zhao asked. "Last time I asked you to ask so-and-so for an autograph, and you said you weren't close to them, even though you were clearly in the same frame together."
"Who is that?" Zhao Ying asked.
Ms. Zhao paused for a moment: "That guy who filmed the period drama before, the really handsome one..."
"Mom, his girlfriend was a prostitute, and she's in jail," Zhao Ying said. "If I get close to him, won't I be in big trouble?"
Ms. Zhao: "...You're useless."
Zhao Ying was speechless.
However, she and her mother are often like this, always having a big argument, and neither of them gets the better of the other.
Their argument was serious and intense, drawing all the attention that was focused on Zhao Xuning.
Zhao Xuning then ate his meal quietly.
But what was bound to happen eventually happened. After finishing her meal, she picked up her car keys, intending to leave under the pretext of having something to do at the hospital, but her father called her back.
"Come here," Zhao's father called to her sternly, "I need to talk to you about something."
Zhao Xuning paused, "I have other things to do."
Mr. Zhao looked at her coldly: "I'll do it after I finish talking to you."
Zhao Xuning took the keys and went upstairs with him.
Her mother and sister were also in the study.
"The people here," Zhao's father said, getting straight to the point as soon as he entered the door, "you pick one."
It doesn't seem like they're picking people; it's more like picking cabbages at the market.
Zhao Xuning frowned, glanced at the roster that was at least a dozen pages long, and said, "I'm not going."
"I didn't ask you to go on blind dates," Zhao's father said. "You can pick one and get to know her, and then we'll get married next year."
Zhao Xuning: "..."
I'm even more anxious than before.
Zhao Xuning let out a soft breath, "What do you mean?"
“Your sister already had Lianlian when she was your age,” Zhao’s father said. “Look at you, you’re always at the hospital and at home. What’s the point of dating like this? Forget about it, it’s impossible for it to work out anyway. Just pick someone to marry.”
Zhao Xuning: "..."
"Impossible," Zhao Xuning refused. "I won't get married."
"Are you still in contact with that girl from before?" Zhao's father suddenly became alert, his brows furrowing. "The one you dated in college, the one who said she wanted to marry you... You two haven't broken up?"
Zhao Xuning: "..."
"We broke up," Zhao Xuning said.
"That's fine then." Zhao's father said, "It's not about whether she's good enough for you or not, it's just that the gap between you two is too big. Zhao Xuning, you need to understand your marriage situation and not be willful."
In both his career and marriage, Zhao Xuning only had one freedom.
She handed over the Zhao family's business to her older sister and chose a major she liked.
They lose control in marriage.
Her marriage must contribute to the Zhao family and stabilize their company.
This was something Zhao Xuning had known for a long time.
So she never planned to be in a relationship, and meeting Shen Hui was an accident.
This unexpected incident caused her to have a major argument with her family, and she didn't go home for nearly half a year at the longest.
At that time, her older sister came to persuade her, and it was also close to her graduation and application for graduate studies abroad. Because she was still young, she suppressed these matters and no one mentioned them.
Most importantly, her father had investigated Shen Hui's identity, but only found out the layer that the Shen family had fabricated for Shen Hui.
Her sister only knew because she happened to be on a business trip there when those things happened.
At that time, her sister advised her not to be too stubborn, as going against her father would not end well.
However, seeing her insistence, he changed sides and said he would try to persuade his father.
But unexpectedly, Shen Fenghe slapped her in the face at the hospital that time.
Her sister was standing not far away.
Afterwards, her sister confronted Shen Fenghe at the hospital.
That day was a nightmare to think about.
Now that her father has brought up the old matter again, Zhao Xuning stood there feeling extremely headache-inducing, as if a million ants were biting her.
She frowned, radiating impatience.
Zhao's father said, "Zhao Xuning, don't forget that you only have one choice when it comes to your career and marriage."
“I remember,” Zhao Xuning said, “but I don’t want to get married.”
"It's not up to you!" Zhao's father said. "You're blinded by that woman. She's two years older than you. What's so great about her?"
Zhao Xuning paused: "You don't need to know."
Her voice was cold. She subconsciously raised her hand to adjust her glasses, but forgot that she wasn't wearing them today, so she could only awkwardly withdraw her hand.
Zhao's father was so angry that he paused for a moment, then said sternly, "Then what do you want?"
"I will not marry," Zhao Xuning said. "You don't need to worry about me anymore; I will not participate in any arranged marriages."
Upon hearing this, Zhao's father stared in astonishment, "Zhao Xuning! Have I given you too much freedom all these years?!"
Zhao Xuning lowered his eyes and nodded to him, "This has nothing to do with freedom."
"Then come back to the company!" Zhao's father said.
Zhao Xuning looked at him, pursed her lips, and suddenly said coldly, "Dad, I'm an adult now."
...
The Zhao family study was always tense, and Zhao Xuning found it difficult to escape unscathed from such an atmosphere.
In the end, it was her sister who mediated the situation.
After leaving home, Zhao Xuning got into the car. Just as she fastened her seatbelt, the passenger door opened, and her sister got in, fastening her seatbelt as she asked, "Are you still in contact with Shen Hui?"
Zhao Xuning paused: "Occasionally."
They met by sheer coincidence, and the atmosphere between them was even more tense than when she had argued with her father in the study earlier.
They never contacted each other privately.
I heard a while ago that she and Yan Lin went on a blind date, but I don't know if it worked out or not.
Mentioning Shen Hui, Zhao Xuning's thoughts drifted slightly, but her sister's voice pulled her back, "Is it really her for the rest of your life?"
Zhao Xuning: "..."
The car drove away from the Zhao family's house and stopped at an intersection.
Zhao Xuning's hands were still on the steering wheel. She tapped them lightly with her fingers, then smiled wryly and said, "Not really."
"Then why not accept Father's suggestion?" her sister said. "Ningning, you need to know that we are still somewhat inferior to the Shen family."
“I know,” Zhao Xuning said, “but if Shen Hui and I are together, I don’t care about these things. Whether our children have the surname Shen or Zhao, whatever she wants, I’m fine with it. But…”
At this point, Zhao Xuning suddenly paused, placing one hand on her forehead as she realized that she had impulsively said many illogical things.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, sis."
"It's nothing," her sister said. "Actually, I just came to ask you what you really want, so I can have a way to deal with it."
The car remained silent for a long time.
Zhao Xuning spoke softly: "I have never deliberately waited for Shen Hui. I know that we can't go back to the way things were. I have hurt her too much. I have been trying to move forward, but after trying for a long, long time, I found that I have been standing still."
Zhao Xuning also felt powerless about this feeling.
A profound sense of powerlessness enveloped her, preventing her from thinking about these things. If she thought about them on a lonely, late night, she would definitely go out and drink until the wee hours.
Life was extremely depressing, like I had just broken up with Shen Hui.
She always felt that she was moving forward after breaking up with Shen Hui, constantly moving forward.
Unexpectedly, she kept walking in circles.
Walking around and around, we're still at the starting point.
"So you're waiting for her?" her sister asked tentatively.