Back then, Lin Luoxi had also tried to set her up with another girl from the mountaineering club. She was very pretty, with a very dashing look. She always liked to wear a white shirt and black pants, paired with white sneakers. She was a computer science major, and I heard that her family was well-off.
She's just not very good at talking, and there's often an awkward silence when she eats with Xu Qingzhu. But she's very obedient and hardworking. When Xu Qingzhu's roommate's computer broke down in the middle of the night and she needed to urgently process some files, Xu Qingzhu had no choice but to ask her for help.
As a result, the other party ran a kilometer from the east side of the school to their dormitory building and fixed her roommate's computer.
However, Xu Qingzhu and the other person didn't spark any romance.
According to Lin Luoxi, the other person likes her quite a bit, but she doesn't react at all.
Those who don't receive a response naturally cool down.
That girl got married last year and even posted about it on her WeChat Moments.
Xu Qingzhu gave her a gift.
This was the closest she ever came to being in a relationship during her unremarkable student years.
When she met Liang Shi and announced her marriage, everyone was shocked.
Lin Luoxi was quite surprised, "Besides being a little richer than Xiao Wu, how else can this person compare to Xiao Wu?"
Xiao Wu is the girl that Lin Luoxi introduced to her back then.
Xu Qingzhu smiled: "You have to get to know someone before you can judge them, right? I like her."
I only said it at the time because of our childhood friendship and to avoid worrying everyone.
However, in their daily interactions, Xu Qingzhu silently agreed with Lin Luoxi's words countless times.
That person is indeed inferior to Xiao Wu in every way.
However, Xu Qingzhu's heart was already dead at that time.
How can one describe her state of mind at that time?
It's like a flower that blooms joyfully before its flowering season, only to find it can't adapt to the cold weather and withers and dies prematurely.
When he met Liang Shi again, it was probably a case of facing death and living on.
So she was being overly cautious.
I used to think I was in complete control, but after experiencing those things, my heart can no longer be the same as when I first reunited with Liang Shi.
Little did I know... that was just the beginning.
Later, they gradually fell into the trap, sinking deeper and deeper into the enemy territory.
But she felt that Liang Shi was like a castle in the air, beautiful as a dream.
She couldn't catch it.
While reminiscing about Lin Luoxi's romantic problems during her university years, she inadvertently thought of Liang Shi.
Xu Qingzhu's heart was like a lime, both sour and astringent.
His expression was certainly not good.
Lin Luoxi had been staring at her, so she naturally noticed the subtle changes in her expression. When she was lost in thought, she reached out and waved her hand in front of her face. "What are you thinking about?"
Xu Qingzhu then pulled her wandering thoughts back, "No..."
“Because I’ve been through relationships with people who aren’t very good at talking,” Lin Luoxi said. “Sally is a rare find. Apart from that incident at graduation that she didn’t tell me about, she’s been pretty good to me.”
"Is that good?" Xu Qingzhu asked, puzzled.
“Yes,” Lin Luoxi said, “Otherwise what? You think it’s particularly good?”
Xu Qingzhu: "..."
“I’m not looking for a perfect lover.” Lin Luoxi shrugged. “She’s actually only a 70 out of 100, but because I like her, she’s a perfect 10. Objectively, all her flaws exist, but subjectively, I can be blind to them.”
Without realizing it, Xu Qingzhu was once again fed a mouthful of dog food (a Chinese slang term for witnessing public displays of affection).
but……
"So how did you become sure she liked you?" Xu Qingzhu asked. "It wasn't from what she said, it was just... you clearly felt that she was quite good to you, but you just felt that she would leave, that she didn't actually like you that much, and that everything she did was just based on a sense of responsibility... Just like when you got back together with Sally, how were you sure that she really liked you, or that she was just trying to sleep with you or find someone to relieve her loneliness..."
Xu Qingzhu paused, pursed her lips, and said with a hint of annoyance, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
“I know.” Lin Luoxi looked at her. “Bamboo, you’ve been so sensitive lately.”
Xu Qingzhu was taken aback: "Huh? Really?"
"Yes," Lin Luoxi nodded. "Is it because of Liang Shi's coma? You always feel like she doesn't love you?"
Xu Qingzhu nodded, then shook her head.
After a moment, he sighed helplessly, lowered his eyes, and said, "I don't know either."
Sometimes she felt that Liang Shi loved her very much, and sometimes she felt that Liang Shi was only doing it for the sake of his mission.
This is probably the tragedy of those who are obsessed with details.
She could find evidence of Liang Shi's love for her from the details, and she could also find evidence of his lack of love for her from the details.
So she didn't know.
“Let me answer your question first.” Lin Luoxi sorted out her thoughts. “First of all, I know Sally very well. We’ve passed the stage of figuring out whether we love each other. At most, we need to figure out how much she loves me? Can it surpass her career or other people? But I don’t think these things are meaningful.”
Lin Luoxi said, "It's impossible for everyone's life to only have love. Just like when I was in Sally's position, I would have chosen to go back without hesitation because I had responsibilities that I had to fulfill. It's just a matter of whether or not I should discuss it with my partner. Another bad thing about Sally's personality is that she likes to run away. She wanted to tell me many times, but she was afraid that I would get angry, so she kept putting it off..."
They dragged it out until they broke up.
Xu Qingzhu kept turning the pen between her fingers.
After a long while, Lin Luoxi helped her conclude, "You're just doing this because Liang Shi is in a coma, and you've been in heat these past few days, spending all your time together. You've been too idle."
Xu Qingzhu: "..."
“I also have a job,” Xu Qingzhu retorted, “but I still can’t help thinking about it.”
Lin Luoxi stared at her, noticing her stunned and somewhat dazed expression. He reached out and ruffled her hair, unable to resist laughing, "Girl, you're in love."
Xu Qingzhu: "...Haven't I been in a relationship all along?"
“No,” Lin Luoxi said, “you’ve fallen in love.”
Xu Qingzhu: "..."
She humbly asked Lin Luoxi for advice again, and Lin Luoxi said that this is probably a path that every couple has to go through.
There needs to be a long break-in period.
Try to get to know each other's speaking habits, lifestyle, personality, and even their little gestures.
Half of all couples' relationships die during the adjustment period.
Because during the adjustment period, you may find that this person is not as wonderful as you imagined, and you may constantly doubt them because of their actions.
"Then how should we solve this?" Xu Qingzhu asked.
Lin Luoxi: "Communicate tirelessly, resist the urge to kill her eight hundred times, and tell her how to talk to you, how to take care of your fragile heart, and how to give you a sense of security."
Xu Qingzhu: "..."
“But before that, you have to figure out what you want and what your sense of security is based on,” Lin Luoxi said. “Relationships are like learning; some people can apply what they’ve learned to other situations, while others may need to apply three things to learn just one.”
After saying that, Lin Luoxi looked at Xu Qingzhu helplessly and smiled, "Zhuzi, you're probably just overthinking things right now because your heat has just ended? Wait a while and see, don't think too much."
Xu Qingzhu nodded and asked no more questions.
Lin Luoxi said, "I've noticed that you science students are very prone to making mistakes when thinking about relationship issues."
"Huh?" Xu Qingzhu asked, puzzled.
"When it comes to emotions, especially during the dating period, people's thinking is constantly jumping around and very emotional, just like you right now. But when people with a more rational mind think about these things, they always like to use a fixed quantity for comparison, as if there is a measuring cup there, and the other person's love for you must exceed that quantity to be considered love."
"But often, things in relationships are unpredictable. She might not love you today, but she might love you tomorrow; she might love you today, but she might not love you tomorrow. She might not even understand it herself. When it comes to changing one's mind, no matter how good the other person is, it's all based on feelings."
"You're too fragile right now." Lin Luoxi looked at her adorable expression and couldn't help but pat her head again, like petting a cat. "My little bamboo, you love her so much right now."
Xu Qingzhu stubbornly replied, "...It's alright."
"Oh." Lin Luoxi looked into her eyes. "It's just that I ruined my makeup because of crying."
Xu Qingzhu: "..."
After Lin Luoxi left, Xu Qingzhu kept pondering her words.
—You need to figure out what you want.
Xu Qingzhu thought, what she wanted was Liang Shi's wholehearted love.
Let her be greedy like that.
But she always felt that her current emotions were out of control and not entirely related to her estrus cycle.
I've had heat cycles before, but I've never felt this way before.
This emotion continued to spread, making her feel as if something in her mind was constantly pulling at her.
This led her to occasionally have dangerous thoughts—why not break up with Liang Shi?
Who knows, I might meet someone even better in the future.
However, once her rationality returned, she would always find those thoughts to be quite irrational.
It was as if it wasn't what she had expected.
The internal struggle between emotion and reason left her physically and mentally exhausted.
Lin Luoxi is right, she is indeed vulnerable and sensitive right now.
But her emotions were often torn to extremes, as if a voice in the dark was telling her: You should break up with Liang Shi, she is not the most suitable person for you.
Xu Qingzhu always has to use a strong will to resist, but occasionally she is also swept up by this emotion.
The thought of parting ways made her feel suffocated with sadness.
One night, overwhelmed by her emotions and afraid of waking Liang Shi, she buried herself in the blanket and cried until she could hardly breathe.
This is a terrible thing.
But Liang Shi didn't know that at the time.
While she was still lost in thought, there was a knock on the office door.
The secretary came in and handed her a stack of documents, then reported her schedule for tomorrow. After a pause, she said, "Ms. Xu, the Qin family is holding a charity gala next Saturday. Will you be attending?"