San San loved listening to his stories, even though they were all a bit strange, and San San didn't mind. She listened attentively every time, occasionally asking questions out of curiosity. Whenever Chen Yunqi came home early, he would tell her a story to lull her to sleep. On stormy nights, Chen Yunqi's voice seemed to have a soothing magic, quickly making San San's brain automatically block out the thunder and drift off to a deep sleep.
The birthday celebration was finally over, but to his surprise, a week later, Chen Yunqi received a belated gift from San San. To give him the gift, San San mustered her courage and asked her classmates for help. With their assistance, she bought a craft kit online and, in her spare time, painstakingly learned to felt wool, reworking it several times before finally completing the plush sheep. Chen Yunqi loved it dearly and hung the sheep in his car, letting it accompany him in San San's place. Whenever he encountered traffic jams or work-related troubles, seeing this soft, white sheep was like seeing San San again, and all his worries would instantly vanish.
It was almost time. Chen Yunqi snapped out of his reverie, wiped the silly grin from his face, sorted out his thoughts, tidied his appearance in the rearview mirror, and mentally prepared himself for a while before getting out of the car and walking towards San San's classroom.
Today was the parent-teacher conference for the first semester of senior year. Chen Yunqi took half a day off, put on his most mature-looking suit, and deliberately didn't shave, just like Tang Yutao. He walked into the classroom in a proper manner, greeted the teacher, and found San San's seat and sat down.
Students weren't required to attend the parent-teacher meeting, so San San went with her classmates to the playground to watch the younger students play soccer. At the meeting, the homeroom teacher first praised several students who had achieved top scores in the monthly and midterm exams. She then emphasized the timing and importance of the various exams, both large and small, that remained in the less than one year. Parents were instructed to prepare support services, materials, career planning, and extra points, to face the pressure together with their children, to encourage them to study systematically and efficiently, and to ensure a good balance between nutrition and rest, preparing for the final sprint.
Chen Yunqi sat calmly in his seat, listening attentively while secretly taking notes on his phone—the dates of the three mock exams, essential practice books and reference materials for the college entrance exam, brain-boosting foods, and the tasks parents needed to prepare. After finishing his notes, he quickly edited a message and sent the food list to Aunt Li, instructing her to buy groceries according to the list starting today, to ensure a balanced diet every day, and to supervise San San's meals, forbidding him from being picky about food.
His deskmate's mother noticed his little action and couldn't help but laugh out loud. She asked in a low voice, "Are you a student's parent? How come you look so young? Don't be nervous, I have a whole set of college entrance exam parent's secrets. It explains everything very clearly. I'll send it to you later."
Chen Yunqi put away his phone, smiled awkwardly, and thanked her. His classmate's mother then said, "Your child's name is Lan Yanshan, right? Are you his...?"
"Cough cough...it's my older brother...my distant cousin..."
"Oh!" The mother at the table had an "I see" look on her face, and then said, "I often hear my son mention him. I heard he came from the countryside? It must have been tough for him."
Chen Yunqi really didn't want to chat, so he politely replied, "Well, it's alright."
“Actually, there’s no need to worry. Rural children know that hard work is the only way to change their destiny,” she chattered on and on, seemingly oblivious to Chen Yunqi’s attitude. “My son often talks about your child, saying he’s very sensible and hardworking, and doesn’t have as many bad habits as other classmates…”
Chen Yunqi was getting a little impatient, but he was too embarrassed to interrupt her, so he just let it go in one ear and out the other, staring blankly at a potted plant on the podium.
"...You don't know, my son is incredibly kind-hearted. He's told me several times that he wants to bring Xiao Lan home for dinner, saying that the kid's home is always empty and it's pitiful. I've taken him home from school several times. Last time, a friend gave him a box of cookies brought back from Hong Kong, but he didn't want to eat them himself. He insisted on bringing some for his classmate to try, saying that kids in the mountains have never had them before..."
Um???
Two large, furry ears seemed to appear on Chen Yunqi's head, and he immediately stood up, drawing all his attention away from the half-dead plant.
"...Oh dear, I knew it! He must have someone at home looking after him. He's so concerned, saying it was a task the teacher gave him to help the new student and set a good example for everyone..."
"What did you just say?" Chen Yunqi leaned closer and asked, "Your son even took my...child, took my child home?"
"Yeah, he came home quite late several times. I asked him where he'd been, and he said he'd ridden his bike to take a classmate home. I thought it was a girl! It scared me. We can't be dating at such a crucial time! After asking him for a while, I finally found out it was a boy, and then I was relieved..."
For a fleeting moment, Chen Yunqi recalled a comic book he had read. Usually, at such moments, a crow should fly overhead. He scratched his head, opened his mouth as if to say something, but remained silent for a long time, listening blankly as the class monitor's mother endlessly praised her child, both openly and subtly. He thought to himself, "Heh, you're relieved, but I'm still worried."
He didn't hear a word of what was said in the second half of the parent-teacher meeting. After it ended, the lady who sat next to him enthusiastically added him on WeChat, saying she would send him the parenting tips later. After leaving the classroom, Chen Yunqi found the homeroom teacher and privately inquired about San San's situation. After hearing that he was performing well in all aspects and getting along well with his classmates, he asked with relief, "Teacher, has San San made much progress in his studies? He studies very hard at home every day, but I also know his situation. If things aren't looking good, we will consider having him repeat a year."
The homeroom teacher smiled and said, "Don't worry too much for now. San San is making rapid progress. He improved by more than ten places in this midterm exam compared to the previous one. His hard work has paid off. It's just that his math is relatively weak, which is probably related to his lack of solid foundation. Let's have more cooperation and communication between teachers and parents to find ways to strengthen it."
Chen Yunqi breathed a sigh of relief, but then remembered something else and asked again, "That... San San's deskmate... the class monitor... was that arranged by you?"
"Yes," the homeroom teacher said proudly, "Our class monitor is not only academically excellent, but also outstanding in every aspect. I think Lan Yanshan gets along quite well with him. What's wrong? Is there a problem?"
"No...no, it's fine, thank you for your trouble..." Chen Yunqi smiled wryly a few times, saw San San returning with his classmates in the distance, thanked the teacher, and went back to the classroom door to pick him up.
San San looked like he had just exercised; his fair face was flushed, and there was still sweat on his forehead. As soon as he saw Chen Yunqi, he subconsciously took a few steps and then realized something was wrong. He quickly slowed down and waited for the other classmates. Suppressing his joy, he slowly walked over, took the tissue Chen Yunqi handed him, wiped his sweat, and said, "Brother, hehe."
"Where did you go? You're sweating so much?" Chen Yunqi wanted to straighten his collar, which had been turned upside down, but because there were too many classmates around, he could only stand properly to the side and look at San San gently.
"I went to watch the soccer team's game," San San grinned, radiating the youthful energy unique to teenagers. "I can't play, but the class monitor said it was okay and let me try, so I went to play for a bit. I'm so envious of the first-year high school students; we don't have time for extracurricular activities anymore."
Chen Yunqi frowned slightly and said, "Playing football is too dangerous and you're likely to get injured. Once you get into university, if you like playing, I'll play with you."
"Really!" San San, acting like a little kid again and forgetting to watch her words, almost jumped into Chen Yunqi's arms and excitedly asked, "Can you play soccer?"
“Yes, I do,” Chen Yunqi finally found something to brag about and quickly said, “I was on the school team in junior high, and I played for a while in high school too, but then I got too tall, and they insisted that I go to…”
From striker to goalkeeper... well, let's not talk about that.
"Where are you going?" San San asked, puzzled, when he suddenly stopped.
"Go become a coach..." Chen Yunqi couldn't help but tell a lie.
"Wow! That's amazing!" San San said with a genuine expression of admiration, "Being a coach must be really great! You have to teach me in the future."
Before Chen Yunqi could agree, San San added, "Our class monitor is also exceptionally good at football. I just watched him play against the first-year students, and he scored several goals by himself..."
It's always the class monitor!
Chen Yunqi's teeth were itching, and he was about to interrupt him when suddenly a person holding a soda in his arms shouted at them from a distance.
"San San! Which one do you want to drink? Orange or lemon?"
“I want orange flavor,” San San said shyly as he ran closer. “I want two bottles... I’ll pay you later.”
The class monitor also looked like he had just finished exercising. Although he was not as tall as Chen Yunqi and his skin was a bit dark, Chen Yunqi noticed that he looked somewhat like a younger version of Takeshi Kaneshiro!
"No need, it's on me," the class monitor said, picking out an orange-flavored soda and handing it to San San. He glanced at Chen Yunqi behind him and immediately realized that this must be San San's parent. Seeing that Chen Yunqi's eyes seemed unfriendly and he looked like a stranger, the monitor handed over another lemon-flavored soda and said, "Uncle, would you like some soda?"
...Uncle my foot! Lemon my foot!...
Chen Yunqi felt that if he were seven or eight years younger, he might have already started a fight with this squad leader. He held back for a moment, then waved his hand coldly and said, "I won't drink it, it's too sour."
San San was about to say something to the class monitor when Chen Yunqi suddenly patted him on the head, telling him to hurry up and grab his schoolbag to go home with him. San San stuck his tongue out at the class monitor and whispered, "I'm going now, see you on Sunday!"
Sunday? What are we supposed to do on Sunday?
Chen Yunqi's ears were unusually sharp today. He watched helplessly as San San ran into the classroom, grabbed her schoolbag, and ran out again. She chatted with her class monitor and deskmate for a long time before finally saying goodbye. For some reason, he felt indescribably frustrated. He forced the money for the soda to the class monitor and walked silently to the parking lot, ignoring San San's muttered stories about school.
On the way home, he couldn't help but ask, "San San, shall we go to Ocean Park on Sunday?"
"Huh? Don't you have to work on Sundays?" San San put down her phone game and asked him in surprise.
Chen Yunqi stared at the roadside ahead as he drove and said, "No, I want to rest this Sunday. Let's go out and have some fun. I haven't spent much time with you lately. Where do you want to go? Let's go back and check your notebook to see which place it is."
"It's time for the museum!" San San said earnestly. "Ocean Park is behind Happy Valley!"
"How about we go to the museum, and then get pizza?"
San San was happy for only a second, then looked at him with some difficulty and said, "No, I have to go to the bookstore with the class monitor to buy review materials this Sunday."
Chen Yunqi's expression showed slight displeasure, but not wanting to make it too obvious, he used driving as a cover and asked without turning his head, "Are you just the two of you going?"
"Yes, there were two other female classmates who were also going, but they hadn't decided whether to go or not. The class monitor said it was fine if they didn't go, and we could just help them buy the things to take back."
This really put Chen Yunqi in a difficult position. San San got along well with his classmates and could even go out with them. Chen Yunqi was happy for him, but he was a very possessive person and didn't want to be jealous of a child. He was caught in a dilemma, which gave him a real headache.
Before he could react, San San said again, "Why don't you come with us? If we still have time after we finish shopping, we can go to the museum."
Chen Yunqi agreed after only three seconds of consideration. Why wouldn't he go? He was willing to be the driver or carry his bags; he absolutely couldn't give that brat any opportunity.
Finally having a day off, a beautiful weekend, Chen Yunqi, wearing a gaudy T-shirt he'd bought somewhere, pushed a shopping cart behind San San, watching him and the class monitor browse the bookshelves from a distance, occasionally whispering to each other. Besides books, the bookstore also sold many stationery items and related products. San San was curious about everything, constantly touching and examining them, but aside from study materials, he didn't intend to buy anything.
Chen Yunqi followed behind, picking up everything he had touched and putting it into the shopping cart. He then paid for the items himself. Turning around, he saw the class monitor putting a pair of headphones on San San's head. He immediately strode over, stood between the two, and asked, "What are you listening to? Let me hear it."
The class monitor was startled by his sudden appearance, and then very politely handed him the headphones, saying, "It's a post-rock band. You can listen to their new album. I really like it."
Chen Yunqi put on the headphones and listened for less than ten seconds before taking them off and saying, "Yeah, I know this. It's too sad to listen to. It's not suitable for San San. He doesn't like listening to it."
The squad leader was stunned again, unsure of what to say. Taking advantage of his speechlessness, Chen Yunqi tugged at San San's collar and asked, "Have you bought everything?"
"Okay, we've bought everything. Now we're discussing where to eat..."
"Okay, all bought is ready, let's go home!" Chen Yunqi didn't let San San finish speaking. He picked up the full shopping bags, pulled San San, and walked out. After taking two steps, he turned back to the class monitor who was still standing there and said, "Bye-bye classmate, be careful on your way home."
They didn't go to the museum. It wasn't until they drove back to the apartment complex parking lot that San San finally noticed something was wrong with Chen Yunqi. She followed behind him cautiously and asked, "Brother, what's wrong? Why are you unhappy?"
"No, let's go home quickly," Chen Yunqi pressed the elevator button, pretending to wait anxiously.
San San lowered her head and thought for a long time, then suddenly leaned closer to look at his expressionless face and asked again, "Don't you like the class monitor? Are you... jealous?"
"Don't talk nonsense. I'm a grown man, why would I be jealous of you kids?" Chen Yunqi's heart started to beat faster. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he couldn't wait to walk in. He turned to look at San San and said, "Come in quickly, we'll talk about it when we get home."
San San didn't say anything more. When they arrived at the door, Chen Yunqi took out his key to open the door. San San crouched down and crawled under Chen Yunqi's arm, blocking the doorway and looking up at him, saying, "Brother, I love you, I love you so much, I will only ever love you."
Chen Yunqi's hand holding the key paused, his facial muscles twitching uncontrollably, making it impossible to tell whether he was laughing or crying. After a while, he regained his senses, reached out and turned the doorknob, lowered his head and kissed San San's lips, kissing him as he embraced him and walked inside.
A pile of things were still lying at the door, and the door hadn't been closed yet. The two were kissing passionately, and Chen Yunqi's hands had already reached under San San's waist, about to go down, when suddenly he grabbed her and pushed her far away.
Chen Yunqi, panting, looked at San San with a blank expression. He saw San San staring wide-eyed at his back, as if he had seen something that terrified and shocked him. He turned around following that gaze and suddenly saw a person standing at the kitchen door, looking at him and San San with the same shocked eyes.
His mind went blank for a moment. The white clothes on the man reflected a light that made Chen Yunqi unable to open his eyes.
Yu Xiaosong's eyes were already red. He was wearing the slippers that Chen Yunqi had stuffed deep into the shoe cabinet, and he was holding a bowl of beaten eggs in his hand. After a long while, he loosened his grip on his lower lip and said almost inaudibly:
"Chen Yunqi...long time no see."
Chapter Seventy-Three Misguided Love
Yu Xiaosong sat on the sofa, staring blankly at the ashtray he had bought from an antique shop.
A half-smoked cigarette butt lay in the ashtray. Looking at the faint teeth marks on the cigarette holder, he recalled the first time Chen Yunqi learned to smoke.
At that time, Chen Yunqi's grandfather had just passed away. Having forgotten his keys, Yu Xiaosong and Chen Yunqi, who was home alone, huddled together by the radiator in the stairwell to keep warm. Chen Yunqi kicked the radiator pipe repeatedly and suddenly said he wanted a cigarette. Yu Xiaosong then ran to the small shop at the front gate, bought a pack, rubbed his fingers together to warm them, and lit the cigarette for him.
The pack of cigarettes cost 30 yuan, which was Yu Xiaosong's lunch money for two days. He and Chen Yunqi each lit one. He couldn't even smoke half a cigarette before he was choked by the smoke, while Chen Yunqi, like a heavy smoker, didn't even cough once. No one in Yu Xiaosong's family smoked, but when he got home that night, his mother smelled the cigarette on his school uniform and questioned him all night.
Back then, Chen Yunqi wasn't as tall as he is now, and his face still had a touch of childishness. From then on, he always carried a pack of cigarettes in his school uniform pocket, but he never remembered to bring a lighter. Yu Xiaosong would hide the lighter in the gap of his schoolbag, by the wall behind the teaching building, on the steps of the basement, or in the community garden. Every time Chen Yunqi smoked, he would sit beside him. So many years have passed, but he still hasn't learned to smoke.
Yu Xiaosong realized there was still so much he hadn't learned: he hadn't learned to see Chen Yunqi's heart clearly, hadn't learned to accept his rejection with equanimity, and hadn't learned to truly let go and let go. He suddenly wanted to pick up that cigarette butt and light it again, to try to let the cigarette continue burning, and to watch it burn out completely with his own eyes.
He lifted his heavy eyelids and looked at Chen Yunqi, watching him bring in the paper bag from the doorway and place it on the table, whispering gently to the delicate and handsome boy. His suitcase leaned alone against the wall behind them, filled with gifts he had bought for Chen Yunqi.
During his year abroad, he traveled to many places alone, seeing all the beautiful scenery he had once hoped to share with Chen Yunqi. The determination he had before leaving had long since been worn away by time, leaving only memories he was reluctant to let go of.
He returned in such a hurry that he didn't even have time to make a phone call first. From the moment he embarked on his journey home, he had imagined countless scenarios of their reunion—whether it was the same cold indifference as before or the ecstatic joy of a long separation—none of them matched the scene before him. He couldn't describe his feelings upon witnessing what he had just seen; was it astonishment, shock, heartbreak, or sadness? It was a passionate kiss he had dreamed of and longed for countless times in his dreams, and now that it had finally become a reality, it wasn't happening to him.
Yu Xiaosong's sudden appearance left Chen Yunqi at a loss, unsure of what to do. At that moment, he even broke out in a cold sweat, feeling guilty. He instinctively wanted to ask Yu Xiaosong why he had come back, but then he worried about San San being there. So he forced himself to calm down, retrieved the things he had thrown at the door, closed the door, changed his shoes, and took San San's hand, intending to take him to greet Yu Xiaosong.
San San stood motionless. Chen Yunqi blocked his way and whispered, "San San, that's the friend I mentioned to you, Yu Xiaosong. I... I didn't know he was coming back today. Don't overthink it..."
San San remained silent, biting his lower lip as he looked up at him, his eyes filled with a complex mix of confusion, bewilderment, and a hint of sadness and disappointment. He touched the house key Chen Yunqi had later given him in his pocket, and after a long silence, he finally spoke, "Brother... I... I want to go back to school to study..."
Seeing his expression, Chen Yunqi knew he had misunderstood, and hurriedly grabbed his hand, saying, "Don't go, you can't go anywhere, come with me."
Without a word, he pulled San San to the sofa. The moment he pressed San San down to sit, she looked up and met Yu Xiaosong's sharp gaze.
"Xiao Song..." Chen Yunqi sat down next to San San and called out to him in a hoarse voice. When he did not respond, he raised his voice again to try to interrupt his gaze on San San.
"Xiaosong?"
Yu Xiaosong finally heard Chen Yunqi's voice, withdrew his gaze, but still did not respond. He just stared straight at Chen Yunqi, as if waiting for him to give him an explanation.
Chen Yunqi's mind was a complete mess. He realized that besides calling out Yu Xiaosong's name, he had absolutely no idea what else to say. San San suddenly stood up, looked down at the floor, and said, "I'm going inside to do my homework...you guys...you guys talk."
Before Chen Yunqi could react, he turned and left, but after taking only two steps, he suddenly stopped, turned to the open kitchen island, took out a glass, poured a glass of warm water with lemon slices, returned to the living room, bent down and placed it in front of Yu Xiaosong, not daring to look at him, and said with his head down, "Brother... have some water..."
Yu Xiaosong stared at the glass of water for a few seconds, then looked up and gave a dry laugh, saying, "I never drink lemon water. Didn't he tell you that?"
San San stood there awkwardly, twisting her fingers together, her lips turning red from biting them. Yu Xiaosong got up and walked straight to the cabinet, effortlessly finding a packet of instant coffee. He calmly pressed the heating button on the thermos kettle, then bent down to take out his coffee cup from the drawer below, made himself a latte, brought it back to the sofa, sat down, took a sip, and looked up at Chen Yunqi without saying a word.