The Lonely City Closed - Chapter 67
Her lifeless eyes seemed to be looking at me, but her gaze was empty, clearly indicating that she was not paying attention to me.
"Princess, it's time to go back," I said softly to her.
She nodded and quietly let me help her downstairs.
On the way back to the palace, she remained quiet, without saying a word or shedding a tear. Upon returning to her pavilion, she went straight to her room to sleep, as if she were simply tired and needed some rest.
Seeing that she was asleep, Miao Shuyi quietly asked me about what happened in Fanta Tower, clearly she knew about it. I briefly recounted our conversation, and she sighed, "That's for the best. Cao Ping has to talk to her personally to make her give up, otherwise, who knows when she'll start causing trouble for her father again."
"Was it arranged by the Empress for Young Master Cao to go this time?" I asked Miao Shuyi.
She said, "It was decided by the Empress and the Emperor. Cao Ping had apologized to them before, and the Emperor, seeing that he had come to his senses, agreed to let him see the princess one more time and explain things to her."
At this point, Miao Shuyi patted her chest and said, "Thank God! The princess is sensible after all. She didn't cry or make a fuss after listening to Cao Ping. I was so worried that she might not be able to handle it and cause some trouble... But it's all over now. It's truly a miracle! Amitabha!"
But I don't think so. I know the princess's feelings for Cao Ping, and I understand how deeply Cao Ping's words hurt her. Her calmness, without shedding a single tear, is highly unusual and makes me very worried.
Therefore, I specifically instructed Jiaqingzi and Xiaoye'er, who served in the princess's room at night, to pay close attention to the princess's behavior and not to let their guard down.
They readily agreed, but later, what I feared still happened.
In the middle of the night, the two maids knocked on my door, their voices trembling with tears, saying, "We accidentally fell asleep, and then, and then..."
At that moment, it felt as if my heart had stopped beating. I asked them, "How is the princess?"
They said, "We don't know... It's not in the room, nor in the courtyard... It's gone..."
I immediately opened the door and rushed into the boundless night to search for her.
The palace gates leading to the outer palace and several main halls were closed at night, so the search area was greatly reduced. Not long after, I found her by the Yaojin Pond.
She sat on the edge of the pond, soaking wet, her head buried in her arms, her long hair trailing on the ground, shivering in the cool night breeze.
Someone briefly told me what happened: she tried to drown herself, but luckily a palace eunuch on night patrol saw her and immediately pulled her out. After that, palace eunuchs and servants who heard the commotion kept coming over, trying to help her up and put clothes on her, but she struggled fiercely and refused to let anyone get close. She just sat there, even throwing away the robes offered by the eunuchs.
I walked over and reached out to help her. She felt it, and without even looking at me, she raised her hand and slapped me across the face.
I didn't dodge and took the slap squarely. Only then did she look up at me, and she froze in shock.
"Huaiji..." she sobbed, tears welling in her eyes, like a child who had been wronged outside finally seeing her family.
I smiled at her, bent down, and said gently, "Princess, let's go back."
She lowered her head sadly, remaining silent but showing no sign of opposition.
I reached out and lifted her up, carrying her toward Yifeng Pavilion. She nestled in my arms, burying her face in my chest. The cold, dampness from her body seeped through my dry clothes and onto my skin. I remained silent, holding her tighter. My mood, like her still-dripping hair, was heavy and somber.
Suddenly, two drops of warm liquid seeped into my shirt, right where my heart was. I shuddered as if I had been burned.
In fact, those two drops of water were just a normal warmth.
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When the Emperor learned of this, he rushed over before dawn.
By then, the princess had changed her clothes and was lying in bed. No matter how Miao Shuyi asked, persuaded, and comforted her with tears in her eyes, she remained silent. When she heard her father arrive, she did not get up but turned to face inward, closed her eyes, and pretended to be fast asleep.
"Huirou..." the Emperor called softly to the princess. Receiving no reply, he did not call again, but sat down beside her bed. He said to his silent daughter, "You must be resentful of me for separating you and Cao Ping, for making you marry Li Wei... Remember many years ago, I told you that the more we like someone, the less we should let others see it. Showing our affection is like putting them in the eye of the storm, ultimately harming them. Isn't it the same with Cao Ping now? He is intelligent, talented, skilled in archery, and understands Khitan. He could be an excellent envoy for the Song Dynasty, going on missions to Khitan when necessary. But if you show your feelings for him and ask to annul the engagement and marry him, he will immediately become the target of criticism from the censors. The ministers will say he is a frivolous and arrogant man who disregards morality, law, and the dignity of the monarchy, demanding that Father punish him severely." Your future, like your reputation, will be ruined... Even if your father disregards everything to protect him and marries you to him, will it really be a good ending? As a member of the imperial family, his opportunities to utilize his talents are limited. He cannot hold a civil service position to participate in political affairs, nor can he lead troops and wield military power. Serving as an envoy is the most important thing a man of the Cao family can do, but if Cao Ping becomes the emperor's son-in-law, his special status will make even such an envoy inconvenient. Moreover, all the court officials will be watching him closely. If he speaks too much about politics or meets with too many officials at home, he will be impeached by the censors. A good man inevitably has great ambitions and will not indulge in the pleasures of the boudoir for long. If Cao Ping marries you, in the long run, he will probably feel regret and sorrow for not being able to realize his ambitions. Rather than harboring resentment in the future, why not give up now and leave your father a useful talent?”
Upon hearing this, he couldn't help but sigh: "The title of Imperial Son-in-Law of the Imperial Dynasty is not meant for talented scholars. A princess's husband doesn't need extraordinary abilities or ambitions to govern the country. If you were to marry a pillar of the state, you would only ruin his future. An Imperial Son-in-Law simply needs to be devoted to you, to spend a carefree and joyful life with you, and that would be enough. Therefore, a kind, steady, and sincere Imperial Son-in-Law is more suitable for you than a talented man with lofty ambitions… As for why I chose Li Wei… I once told you that I was unfilial. I met Empress Dowager Zhangyi many times during her lifetime, but I never treated her as my mother. Instead, I always sat dignifiedly and received her deepest respect… At that time, I thought she was just one of my father's many concubines… She was so kind, she never warned me…" Perhaps she was hinting at something, for she always kept her head down whenever she saw me, offering only the usual polite greetings and saying nothing more. Only on the day she left the palace to guard the late emperor's tomb, after our farewell, did she raise her head and gaze deeply at me. Her expression was gentle, her eyes devoid of tears, but at that moment, the sorrow she had kept hidden for over a decade, like a gentle breeze, swept over my heart with her gaze… I had this strange feeling, yet I let her go. Later, I realized that what I had made was a grave mistake… Now, Li Wei possesses a temperament similar to Empress Dowager Zhangyi. Although their appearances are not alike, his eyes, like the Empress Dowager's, silently reveal his kindness… He is a kind man, and he will definitely treat you well, Huirou. He will devote himself to you, doing everything in his power to care for you and give you a peaceful and tranquil life.”
He stopped and looked intently at the princess, but she remained motionless, offering no response. The emperor lowered his eyes, and said sadly, "You don't like him, is it because you find him foolish? But a touch of foolishness isn't necessarily a bad thing for someone who is the emperor's son-in-law… I told you back then that if you truly like someone, you shouldn't even let them realize how much you like them. You asked why, and I didn't tell you then, but now I'll tell you all at once… Children of the imperial family are too close to power, so if someone approaches you and tries to please you, you should first consider whether they truly like you." People still crave the power behind you… Those who stay by your side, even if they're a bit foolish, are fine. Lacking the ability to manipulate power, they won't affect the country. Even if they occasionally try something clever, you can see through it immediately and treat their petty antics as mere entertainment. But if you're close to a shrewd and intelligent person, you must always be on your guard. A moment's carelessness, and who knows what they might do using your affection… Therefore, the more you like them, the less you should let them find out… You're not very good at controlling your feelings, so perhaps it would be better to find someone foolish from the start…
He spoke these last few words with great sadness, his voice growing softer and softer until it was almost inaudible, and his thoughts began to wander. Without waiting for the princess's reaction, he slowly stood up and staggered out.
I rushed forward to help him and escorted him all the way out of Yifeng Pavilion.
"Tomorrow, send a carriage to Yaohua Palace to bring Yunguo'er and Xiangyuanzi back." He instructed me after I left the palace.
I quickly thanked him. He looked at me casually and smiled slightly.
His kind attitude suddenly gave me the courage to ask him to clarify my doubts: "I am also someone who serves the princess closely. If the princess has made a mistake, I cannot shirk my responsibility. Why didn't Your Majesty transfer me away from the princess's side in the same way you punished Yun Guo'er and Xiang Yuanzi?"
“If you leave her, she will be even more heartbroken,” the Emperor said. Then, under my stunned gaze, he refused the help of the eunuchs on both sides and refused to get on the palanquin, insisting on dragging his heavy steps slowly toward the Funing Palace.
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After the Emperor left, Consort Miao stayed in the Princess's room for a while longer. After tossing and turning for most of the night, her eyes were red and swollen, and she was exhausted and haggard. Seeing that the Princess was still not moving, she assumed that the Princess had fallen asleep. After repeatedly instructing the maids to take good care of the Princess, she returned to her room to rest with the help of Consort Han.
I dared not leave, and stayed with Jiaqingzi and Xiaoye'er in the outer room of the princess's bedroom. They had been working for a long time and had been worried for so long, and now they finally calmed down. After sitting quietly for a while, Jiaqingzi lowered her eyelids and started pecking at her head like a chicken pecking at rice, while Xiaoye'er couldn't help but yawn, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she realized it and hurriedly apologized to me.
I told them to go to sleep first, saying I would stay and watch over them. They hesitated, but after I insisted, they went to sleep in a cubicle on the side.
Just then, it started to rain outside. I went into the inner room to check if the screen window was closed properly. As the window lattice opened and closed, the wind and dew soaked my clothes, and the chill seeped into my bones. I wondered if the princess's silk quilt was warm enough, so I went forward to check on her. I saw her shoulders trembling slightly. Although she was still facing inward, not letting anyone see her expression, I could hear suppressed sobs coming from her. She must have been secretly shedding tears.
I bent down slightly, extended my right arm, and brought my sleeve in front of her.
When I got back, I changed my clothes. The sleeves of the robe were quite clean and had a pleasant fragrance.
She felt it, opened her eyes to look, and then closed them again.
"Doesn't the princess need it?" I asked with a smile. "You can't wipe your nose with the pillow or blanket anymore—it'll get all wet."
For a brief moment, she probably pondered whether to continue crying sadly or retaliate, but in the end, she couldn't hold back and gave me a tearful "Pah!"
I offered her my sleeve again, and this time she didn't refuse, pulling it over to blow her nose. Then, she turned to look at me: "Why are you still here?"
I replied, "I'll stay by your side."