Famine

Chapter 67

"Tsk, now it's your turn to say that." He casually went into the room, as if he had always lived there. Huang E clung to him, asking all sorts of questions and chattering incessantly.

It felt like we were back in school.

He still really likes my pillow, and I admit it's warmer when we sleep together in winter. I really hope this is love... but unfortunately it isn't.

We lacked the inherent plague-like quality of love. I simply couldn't feel any passion for him; sleeping with him was no different from sleeping with a desolate place, even giving me a sense of peace and tranquility.

But I like it this way, and he likes my company too. Often when he's about to go back, I'll follow him all the way to the gate of their camp before I take a ride back myself.

“…You’re working too hard,” he said guiltily.

"Then I won't follow you next time," I said half-jokingly, but a look of fear appeared on his face.

“You’re so silly,” I punched his arm. “Anyway, I didn’t have anything to do tonight, so I came out to relax.”

As usual, he gave me a big hug, ignoring the boos from my comrades beside him.

Patting him on the back, I said, "Take care."

“You too.” His voice was muffled. “Don’t get into another car accident… It’s so far away, I can’t take care of you.”

I chuckled dryly. He had been in the army for six months, and I had been in three car accidents. All of them happened while I was walking on the road, and the last one was the most ridiculous. I was hit by a bicycle, and I don't know what I hit, but it left a huge gash on my elbow, and blood was gushing out.

Without good fortune to rely on, one will indeed experience more misfortunes.

"I'll be careful." I waved to him and got into the car.

He peered out from the camp gate, and I looked back at him, until we rounded the bend in the mountain and disappeared from sight. What he didn't know was that I would silently shed tears for a while, for no apparent reason. I knew I would see him in just one more week; I didn't know why I was crying.

I just feel empty inside, a tightness that comes out of nowhere.

I think I've gotten too used to him. If I continue like this now, I'll definitely be devastated in the future.

But there's nothing I can do about it; I have to accept it. If it could develop into love, I'd be willing to take the risk. But someone like me, whose desires are completely suppressed, can't even have children, let alone a family. Tang Chen actually really likes children.

As for me... I completely distrust that piece of paper called a marriage certificate. Even with Tang Chen, I felt terrified and couldn't breathe.

I am destined to be alone. Tang Chen doesn't need to be dragged into my tragic fate.

Surprisingly, our lifestyle continued until he retired from the military and became a fund specialist at an American bank in Taichung City. He bought a car and tirelessly drove there every week.

He's been leaving more and more things with me, even bringing his beloved cello.

To avoid disturbing the neighbors, we would take our cellos to the square in front of the Mazu Temple in the evenings, where he would sit on a stone bench and play the cello while I listened with my knees drawn up to my chest.

I really don't understand classical music; I can only distinguish between what I like and dislike. I truly lack musical literacy. Of all the pieces I've listened to, my favorite is still one that has a sacred and gentle quality.

Tang Chen told me that this is the Christian sacred music "Ave Maria".

…Are you saying it's really okay for you to play Christian sacred music in front of the Mazu Temple?

Once, the old temple keeper was out for a walk when he happened to hear Tang Chen playing the cello. He praised him highly and asked what the name of the cello was, which really stumped me.

I forced myself to say, "...Ave Maria."

The old temple keeper suddenly realized, "This is referring to our Mazu, right? It sounds nice. Mr. Tang should perform it for Mazu's birthday too."

…I don’t think this is a good idea?

Tang Chen laughed for a long time. When it was time for the ritual, he actually performed, but he didn't play Ave Maria. He told me that it was a Nanguan tune that he had just modified.

He's such a multi-talented person, yet he's very unassuming. As a fund specialist, he's incredibly busy, but his performance is neither particularly bad nor particularly good. Those with real ambition would subtly pressure clients, but Tang Chen genuinely cares about his clients' needs; naturally, this makes promotion very slow.

But he didn't care, and neither did I.

We were never the type to stand out from the crowd. We move slowly and leisurely, with few material desires. Perhaps having faced many life-or-death situations, fame and fortune have become unimportant; what matters is peace.

And... we're still by each other's side.

More than five years after graduation, Tang Chen finally told me, "Actually, I held you back."

"What's wrong? I'm the one who's bothering you." I was making tea. A parent of a child who often makes me feel uneasy had specially brought over their spring tea. It might not be an award-winning tea, but it's local tea, brewed with local water, and it feels especially comforting.

"...I'm not the kind of person who can give a woman happiness." He was silent for a while. "I'm so devoid of desire, I can't give you children or a family, yet I can't let go no matter what. I'm so sorry to you." He was on the verge of tears.

Tang Chen, you're such an idiot. I thought about the things you're thinking about years ago.

"That's perfect, me too." I poured him some tea. "Let's just keep each other occupied."

He stared at me with wide eyes, and I stared back at him. He was still very handsome, a mature young man. But occasionally, I could see that gentle and mild-mannered Tang Chen in him, like this.

That day he played Ave Maria, and then he played Spring Breeze. But Spring Breeze changed tunes repeatedly, and was particularly lively and cheerful.

He's really clueless, worrying for so long... just like me.

"Aren't you guys annoying?!" Huang E finally flipped the table, and I hurriedly caught the scalding hot teapot. The teacups were one thing, but this teapot was very expensive! No matter how hot it was, I had to catch it. A burn might heal, but where would I find a replacement if this Yixing teapot broke? I've been raising it for so long!

"You guys aren't annoying, but the people watching are getting annoyed! What do you mean by delaying things? If you like each other, just be together! A simple 'I love you' would be enough! Stop with the 'children' and 'family' stuff, you two old-fashioned, crippled fools! Damn it, I'm going to suffocate you! Four years of university, five years since graduation, how long are you two idiots and morons, a pair of brain-dead lunatics!"

She's now in human form, so Tang Chen can hear what she's saying. Tang Chen is incredibly embarrassed, but I'm well-prepared.

"Oh, that's easy." I said calmly. "Have you told Uncle Yuntao 'I love you'?"

Her face changed from white to red, and then from red to white again, a change that was unpredictable and breathtaking.

Although it was fun, I still put the teapot in a safe place first, so it wouldn't break.

"Who said I love him? That's not true!" She was furious and pounced on me, attacking me relentlessly. I had practiced enough to counter her moves, so she couldn't hit me even if she wanted to.

"If I said no, then no, no, no!" She stomped her feet frantically and banged her head against the ground. "I'm not some boring human being like you, with all this talk of love and hate. If I don't say it, I don't say it! If you keep talking nonsense, I'll kill you!"

Seeing that I ignored her, she cried and grabbed Tang Chen's arm, "Tang Chen, look at her, she doesn't have any..." She had just finished throwing a tantrum, and then she started crying in a coquettish way.

"Okay, okay," Tang Chen coaxed her, "No, no. Xiao Zhi was just teasing you, sweetie, don't cry, okay?" He wiped her face and hands, indulging her by crumpling Tang Chen's shirt like a piece of pickled vegetable.

Tang Chen and I are getting older and older, while our proud and arrogant empress is getting younger and younger.

After cleaning up the floor and straightening the table, I took out the Yixing teapot and continued brewing tea. She makes a scene every three to five weeks; who cares?

While the haughty empress was acting out a tearful scene, I leisurely continued brewing tea, without even lifting my eyes.

(After completing the guard duty)

The Seventh Witch

My work hours are supposed to start at eight o'clock every morning, but because people in the mountain villages get up early, even though there are volunteer mothers to help open the temple gate, I still get up at five or six o'clock to sweep the ground at the temple gate.

Our Mazu Temple covers a very large area. Although the volunteer mothers and grandmothers are very enthusiastic, they tend to push everything onto others. I, as a young lady, simply can't bring myself to do it, so the temple entrance and the central courtyard are my assigned areas. I have to sweep them every day to feel at ease.

I got up too early, just past five o'clock. In winter, the days are late, and the sky is still dark. I swept the fallen leaves with a bamboo broom. I was shivering from the cold at first, but gradually I warmed up and started to sweat slightly.

From afar, I saw a child with a schoolbag running towards me.

I know everyone in this village, young and old. This boy's name is Shuming. He just started high school and has to commute a long distance every day, so he gets up very early.

But in all the years I've been here, the number of times I've helped him with his spiritual awakening is astonishing. Seeing how flustered he was, I knew what was going on.

He rushed past me without even saying hello, panting as he stormed into the temple. The little spirit following him wouldn't let up, trying to trick me into going in.

I turned the bamboo broom around, with the handle on the ground and the broom pointing upwards, and gave it a hard jolt, which made the monster flip backwards.

It seems mystical, but it's worthless when you look into it. In Western witchcraft, brooms are believed to possess immense magical power, and ordinary people can use them. This simple action is a powerful form of "rejection."

It's really a bit strange to use Western witchcraft in front of a Mazu temple...

I started working here after graduation, and now I'm almost thirty. I've never been fond of harming life, and over the past few years, I've become even more reluctant to take any lives. After being a part-time charlatan for a few years, I've gradually come to understand Shuo's philosophy. Indeed, there are many things that are worse when you intervene; killing doesn't stop killing. But I'm also a disciple of Uncle Shi, so I need to handle things more tactfully, rather than turning a blind eye.

Although this little monster was so weak and ignorant that it didn't know to be afraid of me, it crawled up with its claws outstretched and tried to scare me, but I just looked at it calmly.

"Get out of here," I said coldly. "Where is this place? Open your eyes and look around. Are you trying to act like an idiot on the Empress's territory?"

But as you know, there's no limit to how stupid you can get, so he pounced on him.

Generally, Western witchcraft brooms have corresponding incantations or hand gestures to resolve this situation, but I was too lazy to use them. I used my own uniquely developed "technique".

I hit a beautiful, monstrous home run, which shattered him in mid-air.

It'll probably take about ten or eight years to piece it all together. Good luck, okay?

I continued sweeping, and a child timidly poked his head out from behind the temple gate, "Um, um..."

Without even looking up, he asked, "Which one?"

He came out and looked around, completely bewildered. "Aunt Zhi, there was that..." he stammered.

"Didn't I tell you not to be afraid and not to stare at them? You'll be able to see them eventually." I laughed, casually taking a fresh green banyan leaf from a tree in the square and stuffing it into his breast pocket. "Go to school now, you'll be late."

He breathed a huge sigh of relief, smiled, and ran off to catch the early morning bus.

This is what my actual job entails.

When Shuo first taught me, she took it all in stride. I learned it all in a daze, and it wasn't until I became a semi-charlatan here that I slowly began to remember her teachings.

It's very mysterious. It's clearly Western witchcraft (I still don't know which school it is), yet it's similar to some of our folk magic practices, at least in spirit.

When I realized it, I found that I had become a village shaman stationed at the Mazu Temple.

What bothers me is that, in the end, he's still a charlatan.

Our Mazu Temple's "jurisdiction" covers approximately fourteen neighboring villages. Although there has been significant population outflow, the economy has been very poor in recent years, causing some of our descendants to return from the cities. Some are unemployed, some have failed in business, and some have returned to their hometowns scarred and wounded.

Although mountain life isn't exactly affluent, at least there's food to eat. Recently, the farmers' association has been quite active, and the previously surplus peaches, plums, and other fruits are now being used to make wine. These returning descendants are also involved in online sales and staying at home. If they're serious, they can usually make a living and won't go hungry.

Our township is close to Taichung City, and the school system is really well-developed. Yong'an Village has an elementary school, and the neighboring village has a junior high school. There's also a high school in the township, but it's a bit of a hassle to transfer to get into Taichung City, though, but it's still manageable.

In the few years I've been here, I've seen a significant influx of middle-aged and young adults, as well as many children. These people have endured hardship in the city, and returning to their hometown makes them emotionally vulnerable, especially in need of Mazu's protection. As a result, the incense offerings have increased considerably, and some people are even coming to volunteer.

With more volunteers, I had much less to do. The altar I was working on was completed much faster.

To be honest, when the Queen asked me to take charge of her lower house, I was completely baffled. But after a while, it all became clear to me.

This Yong'an Fourteen Villages is a place that is a bit troublesome, but not too troublesome.

Compared to the karmic burdens that Aunt Huang has carried for over a dozen generations, at least...

This place, like a river, is a sharp bend, easily accumulating silt (ghosts). Of course, the water power is enough to wash it away, but over time, it will gradually become blocked and need to be dredged.

But this is a rational age. There are many talented people, but the ancient traditions have been completely forgotten. The gods are just grateful if these talented individuals aren't used for evil; they wouldn't dare entrust them with anything. Even if they choose someone kind-hearted but physically weak as a spirit medium, they often fail to communicate effectively, causing immense frustration. How can they be expected to perform such tasks?

This place doesn't have the same density of ghosts as the cemetery, and the Holy Queen has a lower court here, but she has many and complicated affairs. The local deity isn't a black belt master like the old man who governs the area, so I need to help build defensive fortifications.

So, the village women often say with a smile that our Mazu's "elder sister" has no other hobbies, unlike young ladies who love to climb mountains and always like to go into the forest.

In fact, the area of Yong'an Fourteen Villages is quite large, and it would take a lot of effort to build the altar. I patrolled again, just like when I was in school, except this time I wasn't patrolling a school.

Even when the village was about to sprout bamboo shoots, I went along to "play." Spring is an ambiguous season; the living and the dead, the tangible and the intangible, all take the opportunity to emerge. I lit some fragrant herbs, claiming it was to scare away mosquitoes, and secretly pressed down on the bamboo forest the runes I had written on my palm with water, writing them backwards.

The villagers knew nothing, but the bamboo spirit appeared and scolded me for meddling. Only when she saw the beautiful yet terrifying Fire Feather Desolation on my shoulder did she scream and disappear without a trace, never to utter another word since.