Famine

Chapter 70

Her hurricane-like pain finally manifested in words, striking my heart heavily, a accusatory wail, "Yunlang~"

I was horrified and in so much pain I couldn't get up. Over the years, I thought our connection had weakened, but I was wrong. We will both grow up and have our own lives. But we are so intertwined, we are conjoined twins.

I am Huang'e, and Huang'e is me.

"Wang'e, Huang'e," I cried out anxiously in my heart, "You have me, you still have me." I couldn't help but spit out another mouthful of blood.

Huang'e must be overcome by extreme grief, causing her to momentarily lose consciousness. If she doesn't calm down, her internal injuries will likely worsen, even though her emotions are still extremely volatile. I haven't yet figured out what's causing her pain.

Did her senior brother break up with her?

But it was worse than I imagined. The delirious Huang'e said she would risk her life to retrieve her master's body. She forcefully severed our connection, and no matter how I reached out, I couldn't "touch" her anymore.

My senior martial uncle is dead? How could that be? How is that possible?

But overwhelmed by the intense and frantic grief of the desolation, I couldn't stop crying. I curled up in a ball on the floor, barely managing to hold back my sobs. The volunteer mom came in and noticed, screaming as she rushed me to the hospital.

I finally understand the agony I endured during my moments of pain and sorrow. It was so painful.

The doctor couldn't diagnose my problem and vaguely said it was "suspected" to be a stomach ulcer and that I needed to have a gastroscopy. I waved my hand and insisted on having Tang Chen come instead.

Tang Chen rushed over, abandoning his work. I grabbed his hand, tears streaming down my face before I could even speak. "...Uncle-Master Yun Tao has passed away."

His face turned pale. "What..."

“I don’t know…” I curled up in bed, sobbing uncontrollably. “This is how painful it is to be in this desolate place…” I finally burst into tears.

The connection is broken, and I can't reach her anymore. But her sorrow and pain still seep through the layers of mist. My heart aches terribly, and I grieve for my master's sudden passing. This double grief is really overwhelming me.

Tang Chen held me, silently weeping beside me. It was as if I had grabbed a piece of driftwood in my almost overwhelming grief, and I calmed down a little. My calm also went back to Huang E; she was no longer so determined to die, but she still refused to communicate with me.

Tang Chen went to inform his uncle, who immediately went out.

My old problem of easily falling ill when I'm emotionally agitated has flared up again. Although I'm no longer vomiting blood, I'm constantly crying and have diarrhea, suffering terribly. After ten years of good health, I've suddenly fallen ill again due to the desolation and heartbreak of this ordeal.

Only then did I realize that even the Emperor's Chess, a miraculous elixir, could not heal a heart torn apart.

The desolation and pain caused her to shut herself off completely. When she returned to me, she was covered in wounds and looked like nothing more than an empty shell.

That winter, I was critically ill. The desolation was probably the first time she had truly faced her own grief, and it almost completely destroyed her. But when she realized that I was about to be killed by her sorrow, she silently transformed into human form and lay facing the wall all day, because in human form our spiritual connection was a little more distant.

But I'd rather die from illness.

She lay on my lap, as if she had died along with me; on my lap lay a tragically beautiful corpse.

Perhaps I had a vague feeling that this day would come, and I have always feared its arrival.

But what was bound to happen still happened; if not a separation in life, then a separation by death.

It is said that my master doesn't have to die.

I was so ill that I took sick leave temporarily and had my uncle take me back to recuperate. When I first woke up from my drowsy state, I heard my uncle and Shuo whispering that my master had taken on a karmic burden that was distorted by science, sacrificing his remaining lifespan before passing away with a smile.

Originally, their bodies would have been completely destroyed... but Xu Rujian risked his life to escape with his master's body. Huang E, violent and tyrannical, disregarded all the rules and regulations of the local demons and monsters, not only forcibly entering the country without permission, but also forcibly taking Xu Rujian and his master back.

This is something that my senior master would do... but this is not something that Huang E would do.

She was neither asleep nor awake. She just lay there in a daze, too lazy to even turn over. I was terrified she wouldn't make it through this.

But I can't keep crying or being sad. We're so intertwined; she affects me, and I affect her. If I can find peace of mind, she can find a quiet corner. Just as Tang Chen supported me, I should support her too.

I spent ten and a half years as a charlatan, learning to chant some scriptures from other old women. After ten years, I could recite them by heart. I took off the Bodhi seed from my wrist, put my palms together, and softly chanted the White Robe Mantra and the Rebirth Mantra. As I chanted, Huang'e's lips moved slightly, silently following along.

Our intense pain seemed to have lessened slightly.

On the day of my senior's farewell ceremony, I went there with Huang'e, who looked like a puppet.

I didn't want to take her at first, but Tang Chen insisted. "She didn't get to say goodbye in person, so the grief will never be over. Believe me, Xiao Zhi."

I then helped her get dressed and dressed, and then helped her away.

It was a very simple farewell ceremony, attended only by his closest relatives. His three unfulfilled ex-wives, a large number of ex-girlfriends, and Huang'e were all present.

Uncle Shi and Xu Rujian were family members; they left after paying their respects. She could see through life and death, but Huang E and I could not.

Xu Rujian had changed a lot; his former arrogance and domineering nature were gone. He was silent and thin, his eyes large and bloodshot from insomnia. He knelt to the side, staring blankly at the floor, mechanically returning the greeting.

His injuries... are probably not much less severe than mine and Huang'e's.

My uncle was personally presiding over the funeral and was reading the obituary. His voice was melodious and his words were beautiful, but I was too busy wiping away my tears to appreciate it.

Her unfocused gaze gradually sharpened, and she finally realized where she was and who was in front of her.

"...Stop chanting!" she suddenly jumped up. "Stop chanting! What kind of salvation is there for a guy like him?! You're a liar! You clearly said you'd come back...why did you come back as a corpse?!"

Huang E burst into loud sobs, her voice like tearing silk, "Yun Lang... you heartless man..."

As soon as she uttered those heart-wrenching words, all the women in the mourning hall burst into tears, crying out in unison, "Yunlang!"

"What are you crying for?!" Xu Rujian exploded as well. "That bastard only knows how to pick up women... Why don't you die on a woman? Didn't you say that was your wish?! Why did you have to die to correct some karma... You bastard master!"

He burst into tears like a child.

The entire mourning hall was in complete chaos, like a hornet's nest. All the women were cursing at Uncle Shi, and although his disciples were not women, they were the most vicious in their insults.

Uncle Shi accepted the obituary, sighed, and stepped aside to drink tea.

This was the most chaotic funeral I'd ever seen. Everyone who came to mourn was cursing the prodigal son in the coffin, crying and saying they couldn't bear to part with him. They plucked flowers from the flower baskets and threw them haphazardly onto the coffin, some even throwing their shirts or underwear. The women were even fighting and arguing with each other, only to break into tears again after a few blows.

I laughed through my tears.

Master must be very happy, right? These women love him to death, and they even cried and mourned him at his funeral. If he were still alive, he would definitely be dancing around in circles, right?

Tang Chen is right; we must face it to bring an end to our grief.

After that hilarious funeral, Huang E finally woke up from his dream and was no longer like a corpse; he could eat and sleep again.

But she often cried secretly, afraid that I would find out, and she would even transform into human form and hide far away to cry.

One day, she said to me weakly, "I finally understand why humans live such short lives. No matter how sad you are, it's only a few decades."

“…Huang’e, you’ll be alright.” I awkwardly comforted her.

She lay withered to one side, "...the old dragon of Sun Moon Lake."

"What?"

“His spouse died two hundred years ago,” Huang E cried. “He cried until a pool of water formed, and the tears still haven’t dried. The ages of demons are so long, how can I endure this…” She sobbed loudly, “No wonder the Fiend Bird is said to be untouched by love; it turns out it’s so vicious… How can I endure this, how can I endure this…”

I also shed tears, and soon after, I fell ill again.

Not long after the funeral, she said she was going out to clear her head, and she was gone for two months. I don't know if she was afraid I would die of illness, or if she wanted to grieve to the fullest.

But when she returned, she was still depressed, showing no signs of improvement.

Having survived a sorrowful winter and a bleak spring, early summer is so lovely, full of vibrant green, yet it hasn't lifted my spirits.

Two months after running away from home, Huang'e became very clingy to me, always perching on my shoulder, and sticking to Tang Chen whenever he came over, not going anywhere else.

She looked like she was about to cry when she looked at us.

“…There are still decades to go, it’s not like I’m going to die tomorrow!” I threw a broom at her.

She listlessly glanced away, muttering, "Life is short..." and then went back to her withdrawn self-absorbed state.

I'm starting to consider packing her up and sending her to Yuzheng in England. Yuzheng is incredibly effective at treating depression and melancholy; everyone who's used it raves about it. This is probably a user testimonial.

But I'm not the only one in this wasteland; she has her own "Jade Ring." It's just that when her "Jade Ring" comes, can she control it?

When I discovered that the clear sky had suddenly turned into a violent storm, I knew something was wrong. The golden-haired, one-horned dragon, with a waterfall of tears, was crying its eyes out when it came to play with Huang E.

Huang E couldn't help but laugh, "Don't tell me you're heartbroken."

"I'm crying for you!" he exclaimed, and the wind and rain seemed to support him, elevating the situation to a whole new level.

"...How can I possibly cry when I see you like this?"

"Huang'e, tell him to shut up!" My anger rose with the intensity of the wind and rain. "The temple is going to flood!"

Huang E whispered a few words to him, which made him burst into laughter through his tears, and the sun shone brightly in his eyes.

"I'll go for a walk." Huang E flapped her wings. "You... pfft." She chuckled. "You're soaked to the bone... is there anywhere dry on you?"

“…Respectfully seeing off Your Highness.” I glared at her, annoyed.

I wrung out my clothes, feeling soaked to the bone, and went back to change. I felt really down. I really wanted to tell Huang E to be careful when making friends.

But birds of a feather flock together, so I guess it's pointless to say anything.

***

Later, she did feel a little better... on the surface.

She began to enjoy going out, but only in her true form, and her friends were all demons or monsters. Perhaps she realized that her connection with her demon friends could last longer, and that humans were like mayflies, ultimately not worth investing too much emotion in.

In this respect, she was a complete blank slate. The birth process of the Lich Birds had no issue of inheritance; everyone relied on instinct, and the winner took all. However, some Lich Birds, after living for three to five hundred years, would seek out masters to learn about the various aspects of monster and human societies. But our proud bird king was not cared for by anyone and had been eating and sleeping aimlessly for over a thousand years.

She's knowledgeable and worldly, but completely oblivious to the inner workings of emotions and desires. I only learned this now. I hope that after this shocking lesson, she can make a few close monster friends (one dragon would be enough...). Tang Chen and I will leave her behind, and she'll be better off.

When asked if she had fun going out and who she played with, she mumbled, "...just Lady White, the Red-Eyed Fox, and Ah Long."

I recognize these few. Lady White Snake comes occasionally, her expression always indifferent, like an ice queen. The Crimson-Eyed Fox is said to have had a relationship with my master; she's alluring and beautiful, captivatingly charming, and rumored to be a highly skilled cultivator, not far removed from becoming a demon immortal.

That summer, they even came together and spent an afternoon having tea with me and Tang Chen. I never expected them to be such witty and elegant people; we had a wonderful time together.

The red-eyed fox girl smiled at Huang E, beautiful and mysterious. I felt a vague chill run down my spine; it had been a long time since I'd seen such a wise person smile, just like Shuo had back then.

Every time I see a smile like that, I have a feeling that disaster is about to strike. Luckily, it's a smile directed at Huang E, not at me.

"No wonder you can't let go," the fox woman sighed softly. "You really are willing to give it up."

"Fox Lady, I'm begging you," Huang E whispered.

I didn't quite understand, but I felt a little sad. Huang'e was so guarded; I didn't know what she was thinking. But I guessed she had probably seen through the illusions of the world and wanted to cultivate with the fox spirit.

The thought of her leaving me again almost made me cry. But for her sake, I couldn't shed a single tear.

I was wrong, I guessed.

That evening, Tang Chen was playing the cello for me when Huang E said she was going to make tea for us.

"It's time to sleep, why do you want tea?" I glared at her.

"I don't care anymore!" she whined, "I want to soak! I want to soak! I want to soak!"

"Alright, alright," Tang Chen pleaded for her, "Just one cup. It's rare for Huang'e to want to make tea."

What does she know about brewing tea? Pu'er tea is inherently bitter, and what she brewed looked like ink, like drinking Chinese medicine. To avoid offending her delicate nature, Tang Chen and I each drank a cup.