Hibiscus as a Painting

Chapter 50

I hate him. I hate how he sleeps soundly and comfortably in the Imperial Study every day, yet answers the Grand Tutor's questions fluently. I hate his leisurely demeanor and the smile that always plays on his lips, which reveals the loneliness and sorrow of others. I hate his eyes, as dark as midnight and as clear as spring water, which proclaim the ugliness and sin of the masses.

In the days that followed, whenever I saw his angry, resentful, and bloodshot eyes glaring at me, I felt a sense of pleasure, a sense of joy, and a feeling I couldn't quite describe.

That day he fell into the lake. Everyone stared nervously at the surface of the lake, but I was secretly delighted. I thought to myself that it was his good fortune to die since he was already a mute.

Time passed slowly, and as I looked at the calm lake, I couldn't help but feel anxious.

I suddenly realized... if he left like this...

Who dares to laugh so brazenly at me now? Who dares to openly defy me? Who dares to slap me now? Who dares to stare at me with resentment, unable to speak their anger? Who dares to call my piano playing "heart-wrenching"? Who dares to bite my finger so viciously that it leaves a scar that can never be erased?

At that moment, a wave of fear washed over me; I was suddenly terrified...

I fear that from now on, only the echoes of my own footsteps will remain in this vast palace. I fear I will never hear that unrestrained laughter again. I fear that no one will dare to defy me again. I fear that no one will dare to hit me again. I fear that no one will bite my finger again, refusing to let go even in death. I fear I will never see that ordinary face flushed red with anger again. I fear I will never see that furious yet indescribable expression again.

It wasn't until then that I realized how unrestrained and carefree I was when I was competing and fighting with him; it was the deepest part of my nature and loneliness that I had buried in my heart.

Just as I was about to order everyone to expand the search area, west Le jumped in. I was shocked, but then I prayed that west Le, who had jumped into the water, would be pulled out the next moment.

When that wild laughter rang out again, I saw that radiant face that I will never forget in my life.

He held the fish in his hand with a sense of satisfaction and pride, as if he had grasped the whole world. His radiance was so dazzling that people dared not look up or look directly at him, making them dizzy and humbled.

I stared at the spot where Xile had fallen into the water, feigning anxiety to mask the shock and unease in my heart.

When he saw Princess Xile's face emerge from the water, he turned and whistled, his eyes filled with admiration and amazement, but even more so with shock. He stood there, frozen in place, forgetting the fish in his hand. At that moment, I thought he had fallen in love with Princess Xile.

I was secretly annoyed by his ignorance and overestimation of his abilities. The princess was destined to be my match, how dare he, a mere illegitimate child from a general's family, dream of such a thing? What's more, he was a mute with a physical disability.

In the evening, my father summoned us and asked who was willing to marry Princess Xile.

I was the first to step forward and tell my father of my determination to marry Princess west Le.

The Emperor smiled slightly: "The princess's marriage is not something I can decide, but I will give each of you a chance... I order you to jump into the water."

I looked up at my father with a confident smile and was the first to jump into the water.

The icy water surrounded me, and a tremendous force dragged me towards the bottom. I struggled desperately, but the more I struggled, the faster I sank, and the more difficult and painful it became to breathe. Water kept pouring into my mouth and nose; I tried to cough, but it was as if I was choking; I tried to spit out what was in my mouth, but more water was forced in. Pain and despair I had never felt before enveloped me.

Suddenly, I regretted it.

I don't necessarily want to marry that princess; I just want to see him furious after his beloved was taken away. But is it really worth losing my life just for that furious outburst?

My consciousness began to blur, and I could barely keep my eyes open. Was I going to die...? Was I really going to die?

I gave up struggling and let my body slowly sink to the bottom of the water, but then a hand grabbed me tightly. In that moment, I saw his pale and worried face, and... I found hope for life. His body was warm, and he held me tightly by his side, as if protecting a priceless treasure.

The regret in my heart slowly faded, and I was filled with inexplicable joy. I closed my eyes with peace of mind and leaned against him.

The warm, sweet scent on his lips woke me up. I groggily opened my eyes and saw his magnified face. His lips were warm, soft, and even sweeter, with a refreshing aroma.

Before I was thirteen, I learned about the scent and sweetness of a virgin from the palace maids.

At that moment, I was certain that she was not the illegitimate son of the general's family, and my heart was instantly filled with immense joy.

I was exhausted but happy as everyone helped me change, when I heard Xiao Wu say resentfully: "Young Master Zi is really clueless. He only rescued His Highness at the very end."

I shouted angrily: Explain yourself!

Xiao Wu knelt down tremblingly and told me that when everyone fell into the water, she was the first to jump in, but she saved Jun Chi first, then Jun An, and finally me. The implication was that she would never have jumped in to save me if she hadn't been forced to.

In an instant, my state of mind underwent a tremendous change, plummeting from the clouds to hell, shattering into countless pieces. A chilling coldness filled my heart, making me tremble even more violently.

As I disembarked, I slapped her hard across the face. In the firelight, her angry eyes reflected only my image, and a flicker of joy welled up inside me.

Regardless, she still saved me, didn't she? She saved me in front of everyone, disregarding her reputation, didn't she?

In the days that followed, she, who had always been a loner, finally had someone to accompany her—Xile. As fellow hostages, they had no vested interests; she and Xile were good friends, and I didn't need to worry about her being used by anyone with ulterior motives.

That day, after leaving my father's palace, I felt something was off and uneasy, but I had a feeling that this matter must be related to her.

I walked calmly back to the palace, when I caught a whiff of a strange fragrance. I took a deep breath and smiled faintly. The Cold Valley Jade Hairpin had taken a thousand years to form; it was the only one of its kind in the world. Not only could it enhance the wearer's constitution, but it also made them immune to all poisons. What could this little bit of sleeping potion do to me?

Sure enough, at a secluded corner, a dark figure swiftly silenced me by striking my pressure point, and then covered me with something in the darkness.

I pretended to struggle helplessly, but found that the aura on this person was not hers. Just as I was about to fight back, I felt the aura on him change instantly. It was her!

Her thin fists hit me, but it didn't hurt at all. However, to let her have her way, I still groaned. In the darkness, I was actually thinking about what her expression was when she hit me. It's such a shame I can't see.

Perhaps still not satisfied, she actually straddled me and started slapping my face. I inwardly groaned; my father would surely see me slapping him. If he found out, it would be disastrous.

I gradually stopped struggling, afraid she would increase her strength and leave marks on my face. Suddenly, I felt her being pulled away, and a small sense of loss welled up inside me. Perhaps still angry, she kicked me a few more times before leaving with that person. Only after I felt they were far away did I dare to open the bag on my body, looking at the empty corridor, a bitter sense of loss rising in my heart. Her fists showed how much she hated me, but imagining her laughing heartily now, a smile also appeared on my lips, but as I smirked, a sharp pain shot through me.

Back in the palace, seeing Xiao Wu's terrified expression, I knew she must be in a terrible state. When I picked up the bronze mirror, I was still shocked. She had really gone too far; was this really my face?

Fearing that my father would find out, I dared not attend court the next day, but I could not stop him from coming to see me. I could only stammer and try to cover it up, but I knew that my father had already become suspicious, so I deliberately let him misinterpret the situation and frame Jun'an for the matter.

After that, fearing she would grow weary of the desolate palace, I weighed the pros and cons and indulged her intimacy and friendship with west Le, allowing her to have true friends in the palace. But this matter has haunted me for the rest of my life.

When I learned that they wanted to leave the palace for a trip, I was filled with conflicting emotions. Although I wanted her to go out and see the world, I was also afraid that she would be captivated by the outside world and become unwilling to accept the emptiness and desolation of the palace.

After much struggle, I still managed to help them leave the palace safely. That day, I was filled with anxiety, sending out spies one after another, fearing that something might happen to her.

I learned from the scout that she was dressed as a man, holding a clay bride figurine, and stood there looking embarrassed, perhaps because she didn't have any money on her, waiting for west Le to pay the bill. At that moment, I imagined her standing there awkwardly and couldn't help but laugh.

Upon learning that she had been abandoned by west Le after leaving the teahouse, her heart ached again.

Upon learning that the two of them had been standing at the Nalan Nan ethnic temple from noon until dusk without eating anything all day, I also lost my appetite when I saw the table full of food.