Hibiscus as a Painting - Chapter 171
Xiao Bai looked at Zi Jin's stunned expression with concern. He put down the half-eaten steamed bun in his hand, his gentle eyes filled with worry and heartache: "A lot?...I'll help..."
"Uh?... Ha, no need, no need... It's just a small bamboo patch, right? I can just wave my hand and they'll all fall down." Zi Jin came back to her senses, looked away from Xiao Bai, and laughed nonchalantly.
Hearing this, Xiao Bai felt slightly relieved. She picked up the water bottle next to her and filled it up for Zi Jin. She then put the leftover steamed bun in front of Zi Jin and said with a flattering smile, "Xiao Zi, eat. I... am not hungry."
Zi Jin didn't take the steamed bun Xiao Bai offered, nor did she look at Xiao Bai. Instead, she glanced at Cheng Qingsong and said plaintively, "Master, I really want to cut down that annoying little bamboo, but there isn't even a kitchen knife in the kitchen. How am I supposed to do it?"
"Oh, don't worry about that, your master has already prepared everything." Cheng Qingsong didn't even look up, continuing to gnaw on his steamed bun.
Zi Jin's eyes blazed with fury: You're ruthless!
Cheng Qingsong wiped his mouth and glanced at the steamed bun that Zi Jin had thrown outside the door: "Since my disciple isn't hungry, she doesn't need to eat. Let's go."
Zi Jin reluctantly got up and followed Cheng Qingsong. Xiao Bai wanted to follow, but Zi Jin glared at her and made her sit back down dejectedly.
In the backyard, Cheng Qingsong kicked open the door of the house that had been abandoned for who knows how many years. Dust billowed up, instantly engulfing the two of them. After the dust cleared, Cheng Qingsong threw a rusty broadsword at Zi Jin's feet.
Zi Jin stared dumbfounded at the blunt knife at her feet, a knife that had been forgotten for countless years, her anger raging: This old man was clearly trying to kill her.
"What are you looking at?! Don't you want that idiot to take his medicine?!"
Zi Jin gritted her teeth, rolled her eyes, and stared at Cheng Qingsong with a frantic, unwavering gaze. After a long while, she deflated like a punctured balloon and resignedly bent down to pick up the knife. Unexpectedly, the broken knife felt incredibly heavy, almost causing Zi Jin to fall to the ground.
Cheng Qingsong glanced at Zi Jin with disdain, kicked the blunt knife up, grabbed it, and wielded it with great force before throwing it at Zi Jin.
Zi Jin hugged herself tightly, staggered several steps, and finally regained her balance.
Cheng Qingsong shook his head in disappointment and shouted, "Hurry up and go!"
Holding the rusty, blunt knife, Zi Jin walked towards the front yard with trembling steps, tears welling up in her eyes, as if she were about to cry. She seemed to be thinking of the poem "The wind is howling, the Yi River is cold, and the hero is going away never to return."
In the front yard, Xiaobai squatted by the well, a slightly silly smile on his lips, carefully washing the bowl in his hands.
Zi Jin, clutching the broken knife in her hand, tried to quietly walk past, but Xiao Bai looked up and saw her.
Xiao Bai's smile vanished, her brows furrowed, and her pink lips pressed tightly together: "Xiao Zi... is very heavy, isn't she?"
Zi Jin shook her head repeatedly, not even glancing at Xiao Bai, and quickly walked towards the door.
"Xiao Zi's hands are shaking... she can't stand steadily..." Xiao Bai said softly to Cheng Qingsong behind Zi Jin, sounding slightly aggrieved and distressed.
Cheng Qingsong gazed at the sky, ignoring Xiaobai's extremely aggrieved appearance.
Zi Jin quickly lowered one hand, but couldn't hold the broken knife with her other hand. The knife fell to the ground with a thud, and Zi Jin stumbled again. She steadied herself quickly, not daring to look back, and dragged the knife with one hand as she hurried towards the door.
Xiao Bai stared worriedly at Zi Jin's departing figure. After a long while, she squatted down again, her long eyelashes concealing the emotions in her eyes, and continued washing the bowl in her hands with a furrowed brow.
Zi Jin dragged the knife in her hand and walked quickly to the northwest corner of the valley. She threw the knife down and bent over, panting heavily.
"Not bad, it wasn't a waste of time to carry this water, we walked so far in one go." Cheng Qingsong said leisurely as he sat on the large rock behind Zi Jin.
Zi Jin, panting heavily, pointed at Cheng Qingsong with trembling hands, unable to utter a single word for a long time.
Cheng Qingsong smiled slyly: "Since he's so full of energy! Why don't you hurry up and chop him down! What?! You want him to run out of medicine?!"
"You!...You you!" Zi Jin gasped for breath, her face flushed.
“If we don’t go now, he really won’t have any medicine to drink today,” Cheng Qingsong said, pursing his lips.
Zi Jin was too lazy to argue anymore. She picked up the broken, tattered, and rotten knife in her hand and walked towards the bamboo forest.
Zi Jin looked up at the sky and sighed deeply. She took a deep breath, and with great effort, she shakily brought her knife down, causing the bamboo to fall to the side.
Zi Jin stood there dumbfounded, staring incredulously at the broken, useless wood-chopping knife in her hand. One stroke... just one stroke... and the bamboo the size of a bowl fell down like that?
"This knife was forged from divine iron that fell from the sky. It can cut through a hair with a single blow and is incredibly sharp. Today, I'm using it to chop bamboo, and it's truly heartbreaking for this old man," Cheng Qingsong said with a pained expression, but his face was full of schadenfreude.
Zi Jin stared intently at the knife in her hand, ignoring Cheng Qingsong's words. With a swift movement, another bamboo stalk fell. Zi Jin's excitement intensified; she no longer glanced at Cheng Qingsong and began her bamboo-cutting plan.
For an entire day, Zi Jin tirelessly chopped bamboo. Watching the ever-growing amount of bamboo she cut, she sighed repeatedly, gazing at the sky. The blisters on her hands burst again, leaving them bleeding profusely. Having eaten nothing since morning, and now in the afternoon, Zi Jin was both exhausted and starving. She threw down her knife, sat down against the bamboo, and laid her already bloodied hands on her lap, letting the passing wind soothe the burning pain.
Zi Jin was extremely troubled. The past few months, carrying water was alright; although her hands were in excruciating pain, she only developed calluses. But now, how could she hide these hands?
If Xiaobai saw this, he would surely feel immense guilt. He would definitely think that he was being mistreated by Cheng Qingsong because of his medicine, but he never dared to say anything to him. This time when he came back, Xiaobai seemed more obedient and sensible than before, and he no longer threw tantrums. The ring he used to wear on his finger had been secretly taken off after he woke up, and he didn't know where he hid it. He seemed to cling to him and be more dependent on him than before, as if he was afraid that he would disappear again.
Little did he know, he feared that Xiaobai would become Sikou Xunxiang again. Although Sikou Xunxiang was also him, Sikou Xunxiang didn't remember that he was Xiaobai, didn't remember the little things they had shared, and didn't remember the days they had spent together. Sikou Xunxiang lacked Xiaobai's sincere smile, her unwavering trust, and her blind protection.
Xiao Bai was so good to me, so incredibly good, why didn't she like me back? ...Shouldn't she like me? ...Heh, back then I always thought Xiao Bai liked me, liked me...
But Xiaobai, why did you remain chaste for Yuluo? Why did you have a child with Yuluo? Don't you love me? Shouldn't you love me?
It's actually quite silly of me. How could I forget that Xiaobai is Sikou Huanxiang? Sikou Huanxiang likes Yuluo, it's Yuluo. Since Xiaobai is Sikou Huanxiang, how could she like me? How could she like me?
Past lives and present lives, everything has changed, everyone has changed. Who hasn't? Even I am not the same person I used to be... The timid and obedient Hui'er has turned on me with a knife... The little devil of the Sikou family has completely gone mad... Jun Lin... Jun Lin has grown up so much... Sometimes I don't even know who I am... Who am I... But what does it matter who I am? This new life is hard-won, and no matter who I am, I still have to live well...
But, Xiaobai... I know you have someone else in your heart, so why can't I let you go? Why can't I let go? But what can I do if I can't let go? Xiaobai, why don't you like me? ...Why don't you like me? Do you still think I'm a man?
Xiao Bai...do you know how much I miss you? How much? ...Why aren't you mine? Why were you never mine?
Xiao Bai, I so don't want to let go of your hand, so don't want you to leave... Your heart is clearly broken, so why were you so good to me in the first place? Why did you even bother with me? Why did you say you liked me? Why did you say you liked me but not truly like me? If you didn't like me, why were you so sincere to me? ...
Xiao Bai, I... have decided to stop misleading you, to stop taking advantage of your kindness and your sympathy... I'm letting you go... I'm letting you go... From now on, I won't think of you anymore, and I won't hate Si Kou Xun Xiang. He risked his life to save me, which is enough to repay my debt to you. He was willing to risk his life to save me, so I don't care about what happened back then. Now... we're even... We're even, so there's no more entanglement... We owe each other nothing... We owe each other nothing anymore...
Even if the medicinal herbs in the Chen Kingdom's palace are of poor quality... they are still far superior to those in this small Rouge Valley... Moreover, you can have medicinal meals to nourish yourself after returning, which will be even more beneficial to you. And there's Yu Luo... Yu Luo has always been more attentive than me; she will definitely take good care of you...
Xiao Bai... our fate has run its course... it's over... do you know that?