Hibiscus as a Painting

Chapter 102

"Grilled fish." Zi Jin's downcast face broke into a long-lost smile, the smile reaching her eyes.

"Grilled fish? Something to eat?"

"If you're not going to eat it, what's the point of grilling it?"

What kind of fish?

"Caught in the lake." Zi Jin carefully brushed seasoning onto the fish covered in salt, but dared not look up. It turned out that illusions could be so real, just like the dreams she had every night.

"In the lake?...Aren't the red koi in the lake for ornamental purposes?"

Zi Jin didn't stop what she was doing, brushing the fish with seasoning again and again, but she never dared to look up: "Red koi are mainly for ornamental purposes. They become intelligent after being raised for a long time, and are gentle and peaceful in nature. After training, they can recognize their owners and become close to people. Red koi are strong and powerful, with a vigorous swimming style. They are calm and fearless in the face of danger. Even if they are placed on a cutting board, they will not struggle."

"Since you cherish the fish in the lake so much, why are they still alive...?"

"What good is not struggling? Human compassion is limited after all. For selfish desires, even a fish with such composure cannot escape its fate. Not struggling will only hasten death." Zi Jin's lips curled into a faint smile, but her voice was cold and devoid of warmth.

"Since you have already felt pity for it, why eat it?"

"If everyone refrained from killing out of compassion, what would we eat? People say, 'Better a poor monk than a wise one.' The Buddha said, 'If you don't go to hell, who will?' An old saying goes, 'Drink today, for tomorrow we may die.' From ancient times to the present, the law of survival of the fittest has been the rule of the jungle. Who is the butcher and who is the fish is always predetermined from birth, isn't it?" Zi Jin raised her head and looked at the white-robed man standing opposite her.

He looks nine-tenths like Xiaobai. He loves to wear white gauze robes just like Xiaobai, and his dark jade eyes are almost identical to Xiaobai's.

His eyes held wisdom and composure, while Xiaobai's eyes were clear and innocent, revealing their depths at a glance. If Xiaobai's eyes were like a clear, babbling brook, then this man's eyes were like a tranquil, waveless ocean—both equally gentle, yet conveying a completely different feeling.

Xiao Bai's brows were full of worry and unease, yet his expression radiated composure and maturity. His elegant and refined demeanor when he looked up or turned his head was striking, but it lacked Xiao Bai's childlike innocence.

This person is not a novice.

Joy flashed across Zi Jin's eyes, followed by disappointment, then confusion, before returning to a deathly emptiness. She lowered her head and continued grilling the fish, as if the person opposite her did not exist.

I wonder what Xiaobai is doing right now? Does he even know that I'm grilling fish and waiting for him to eat?

Sikou Xunxiang held two lotus leaves, silently gazing at the person before him. It was early summer, and although a light drizzle was falling, the weather wasn't particularly cool. The person opposite him, however, wore a heavy cloak, making him appear even thinner. His face was a sickly pale, suggesting a long-term bedridden patient. His face was empty and devoid of emotion, showing only a fleeting hint of joy upon first seeing him, which quickly turned to despair.

For some reason, when I saw the disappointment in his eyes, I felt a surge of anger. But when those eyes became utterly lifeless, my heart ached inexplicably. He shouldn't look like this... But I'd never seen him before, so how could I know he shouldn't look like this?

Zi Jin picked up a grilled fish expressionlessly, sat down by the pavilion railing, and carefully removed the fish bones bit by bit. She picked up the fish meat, held it in the air opposite her for a moment, and then put it in her mouth. She just kept eating the fish over and over again, ignoring the people standing in the pavilion.

Si Kou Xunxiang frowned slightly, a strange feeling rising in his heart. The boy looked like he was about to feed someone fish, but there was clearly no one opposite him. The fine rain pattered on his cloak, soaking a patch.

"Young master... you're soaked." The words of concern slipped out, but a hint of confusion flashed in Si Kou Xunxiang's eyes.

Zi Jin turned her face blankly, and the fish stretched out its hand: "Do you want some?"

A sudden, overwhelming panic gripped Si Kou Huanxiang's heart, a panic akin to the impending loss of the entire world. The boy's appearance seemed otherworldly, like a soulless puppet. His eyes held no self, no one around him, not even the fish in his hand.

The boy suddenly turned around and began to vomit violently, as if he were about to throw up his internal organs. Only after vomiting up clear water did he slowly sit back down and continue eating the fish in his hand without any apparent reason, as if he hadn't been the one vomiting just now.

Si Kou Xunxiang's eyes reddened slightly, and his heart ached as if it were being torn apart.

He shouldn't... he shouldn't have these feelings for someone he'd just met. He quickly looked at the lotus leaf in his hand. He shouldn't... he shouldn't have let someone he'd just met dominate his emotions.

Nan'er wants to eat lotus leaf rice, so I should hurry back and give the lotus leaves to the palace servants to cook.

Nan'er has been sick for several days. She has been out for too long and shouldn't have wasted so much time here.

But why do my feet seem to be rooted to the spot, refusing to leave?

The rain had soaked his cloak; wasn't he cold?

You're soaked.

Zi Jin turned around abruptly, staring blankly at the person inside the pavilion. Her eyes were filled with a misty, bewildered look, devoid of focus, wisdom, maturity, and composure; she resembled a lost child: "Xiao Bai..."

Si Kou Xunxiang's pupils contracted sharply, and he took two steps back, his eyes filled with panic. He practically fled, leaping across the water. In the mist, his white gauze robes fluttered with the waves, dancing without wind, like a celestial being.

Zi Jin's heart clenched tightly. She quickly covered her chest, breathing heavily, her pupils dilating until they lost focus.

Xiaoshuang packed the salt and hurried toward the palace gate.

"Xiaoshuang, where are we going? Where is the young master?" Xiaopu walked over from a distance and asked with a frown.

"Young Master is grilling fish at Liuranting and asked me to come back and get some salt," Xiaoshuang said softly, lowering her head.

Grilled fish? Where did you get the fish?

"Xiaoshuang caught it from the lake." Xiaoshuang's voice grew softer and softer.

Xiaopu suddenly turned his face and stared intently at Xiaoshuang: "Don't you know how precious those fish are? They were bought from Yaoguo by the Prince at great expense!"

"Xiaoshuang knows... but... it's been so long since Young Master..." Xiaoshuang raised her eyes, looking troubled.

"Nonsense!" Xiaopu said sternly.

Xiao Shuang's eyes were already red and swollen. She looked earnestly at Xiao Pu, "Sister, Xiao Shuang is so scared. Young Master vomits everything he eats. Whether it's the medicine the Prince gave him or the soup Old Master Fang gave him, he can't even eat his usual meals anymore. Look at the way he looks, it's so frightening, like he's not even alive. Sister... Sister... Young Master is a good person. He doesn't want us to be in trouble, so he always obediently drinks his medicine, soup, and eats his meals... Even though he vomits like that... he has never blamed anyone. Sister, let's quickly inform the Prince and have the imperial physician examine Young Master."

"Miss Nan is still seriously ill, and the Emperor's condition has just improved, yet he is already worried about her. Your Highness is concerned for the Emperor, so you have to help manage Miss Nan's illness and take care of the Emperor's health. In a few days, the King of Yao Kingdom will come to visit his family with his future Empress. With so many things to do, what doesn't Your Highness need to worry about? Since Your Highness has entrusted the young master to Old Master Fang, you must understand the consequences, otherwise you wouldn't have stopped coming to Weiyang Palace after that day. We servants are here to share our masters' burdens, not to cause them trouble," Xiaopu reprimanded coldly.

“But Xiaoshuang can see that the young master is different to the prince. Perhaps the prince doesn’t know the consequences of drawing blood…”

"Xiaoshuang!" Xiaopu shouted sharply, "How could Your Highness not know the consequences of that bloodletting? Even someone who doesn't know medicine should know that a person with profound internal strength wouldn't survive three months of continuous bloodletting, let alone the young master's body, which is even weaker than an ordinary person's. When Your Highness handed the young master over to Old Master Fang, you had already severed the young master's life force. Otherwise, why would Your Highness not have come to Weiyang Palace since that day? Death is only a matter of time for the young master. It's just that Your Highness and the old master are using the same medicine, hoping to let the young master live a few more days so that the Emperor can be treated!"

"Is that so?...I see..." A cold smile curled at the corner of Zi Jin's mouth. She held onto the door frame to support her swaying body, her nails digging into the wood without her realizing it.

Xiao Shuang and Xiao Pu turned around in shock, only to see Zi Jin slowly falling into the rain...