"Ask yourself honestly," Shen Moyu said, "who wants you to be like this?!"
"Nobody wants that." Su Jinning lowered her eyes, looking lifeless. "So what?"
Shen Moyu was so angry at Su Jinning's dejected appearance that his stomach ached. He really couldn't recognize Su Jinning anymore.
He didn't know who could save Su Jinning if things continued like this.
"Do you know how worried we were?!" Shen Moyu's eyes were red. "Do you know how worried Uncle was about to faint?!"
Upon hearing Su Yi's name, Su Jinning slightly raised her head, but showed no obvious emotion; she simply moved further into the shadows.
"Have you even come downstairs to see your uncle these past few days?" Shen Moyu angrily threw her schoolbag at him. "Go and see how much your uncle has aged these past few days! Doesn't he feel sad?"
What are you running away from? By not eating, you're only harming yourself; you'll fail your exams and ruin your own future! Have you ever thought about how happy we'd be to see you like this?
He took a deep breath: "Have you thought about how happy your aunt would be to see you like this?"
"Shut up!" Su Jinning, her weakness exposed, finally snapped, her pent-up emotions exploding: "Then what else do you want from me!"
He stood up, stabbing his chest fiercely, as if he wanted to stab it straight into his heart: "My mother is dead... and you still expect me to go to school with a smile on my face?" His smile was desolate: "Or are you expecting me to sit in the exam hall and take the test as if nothing's wrong?"
He couldn't do it. Everything he had experienced and remembered these past few days had already gnawed him apart.
He just wanted to cut off all contact with the outside world. As long as he could go to lively places, smoke, drink, and not see anyone, he could escape everything he shouldn't have to endure.
Shen Moyu grabbed Su Jinning's arm as if grabbing someone about to fall off the shore: "The reason your aunt and uncle kept this from you until now is because they didn't want to see you like this."
He raised his hand to straighten Su Jinning's collar, then looked into his eyes: "You used to say that everything you did was because you didn't want to disappoint Mom, and you didn't want to disappoint me. You said you wanted to get into Class A, and that you wanted to take the entrance exam for Fudan University with me."
As Su Jinning listened to the promises she had made in the past, Shen Moyu broke down her defenses time and time again.
"But you haven't accomplished a single thing," Shen Moyu said in a hoarse voice. "By wasting yourself like this, all your previous efforts have been wasted. Chen Hang and I will be disappointed, and your aunt and uncle will be even more disappointed."
Su Jinning rubbed his face: "This is the only way I can forget those things." He pried Shen Moyu's hand away, slammed his head against the streetlight behind him, and whispered, "This is just the kind of person I am..."
He was a rotten person from the very beginning. A rotten person who ran away from home because his mother left.
The moment Su Jinning pried open his own hand, Shen Moyu felt that it hurt more than if he had forcibly pried open his own heart.
"Okay." Shen Moyu sniffed, his reddened eyes revealing a pair of indifferent ones: "As long as you say it, Su Jinning, starting today, you'll give up everything you've worked for and go back to being the good-for-nothing school bully you used to be, and nobody will have to care."
Shen Moyu feigned composure, but was more afraid than anyone else of him saying, "I'm not going to care about you anymore."
At that moment, Su Jinning panicked. He looked up at Shen Moyu's eyes and felt more and more like crying.
Is it really going to be a waste of time?
But that was his lifelong dream. And the only way to get closer to Shen Moyu…
Every word Shen Moyu said made sense; he wasn't so stupid as to be beyond redemption.
He also knew clearly that it was his own unwillingness to get out of the mire that led him to repeatedly abandon the hands of his family and friends and sink into the mire.
Those who cannot save themselves are destined to be drowned in the mud.
"Stop talking..." Su Jinning relented, "Let me have some peace and quiet, my head hurts..."
But Shen Moyu had no intention of letting him go: "Come home with me."
Su Jinning stared straight at him, her tone sarcastic as if questioning herself: "Where is home? Is it that house, so big it couldn't possibly hold my mother? Or is it the study where we found that death certificate?"
He scoffed, "What's the point of all this talk?"
"Go to hell, Su Jinning!" Chen Hang had been listening at the door for a long time and was so angry at his words that he almost fainted. He rushed towards him and punched Su Jinning in the face.
Even though his own fists were burning with pain, he didn't intend to hold back.
"Your aunt always told you not to give up on yourself over trivial matters, and you've forgotten all that, haven't you!" Chen Hang grabbed his collar, looking at the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth: "You keep saying you miss her, as if everything you're doing now is because of your aunt's departure, but have you ever thought about whether this is what your aunt wanted?! If your aunt knew that you'd become like this after she left, she wouldn't be happy over there!"
Chen Hang stared at his lifeless face: "Even I look down on you."
Su Jinning was experiencing tinnitus and dizziness... Everyone, including his mother, was trying to kill him with the dullest knife.
You have to keep saying, "It doesn't hurt, just bear with it a little longer."
"Stop talking..." Shen Moyu pulled Chen Hang aside, so angry she could barely stand: "Let's go."
Su Jinning stared at the three people's backs, suddenly felt dizzy, and collapsed to the ground.
"Su Jinning!"
——
When he woke up again, all he saw were the white walls of the hospital, and the lights were so bright they hurt his eyes.
He tried to get up, but found that his left hand was connected to an IV drip. He looked around and was still a little disoriented.
"The patient already had a severe case of avian flu, and the recent irregular eating habits and lack of sleep have led to excessive fatigue. Don't worry, just make sure he gets enough sleep and eats well."
"Thank you, doctor. You've worked hard." Su Yi bowed respectfully and watched the doctor leave.
He glanced at his watch; almost an hour had passed, and Su Jinning should be awake by now. He quickly turned to Shen Moyu and the others, instructing, "You three watch him for a while. He hasn't eaten properly in a long time; I'll make him some chicken soup when I get back."
Shen Moyu sat down to the side and nodded gently.
The events of these past few days have been constantly tormenting Shen Moyu. They weigh heavily on his mind, preventing him from sleeping or eating properly. He also has to travel back and forth every day, leaving him exhausted and miserable.
"Where's Chen Hang?" Song Wenmiao came out of the restroom and looked at the empty seat next to him.
"In the ward," Shen Moyu said wearily, rubbing his temples.
Song Wenmiao sighed, took a swig of mineral water, leaned back in his chair, and stared blankly at the ceiling: "What a cruel twist of fate. I thought Auntie would come back..."
He lowered his head again: "Who knew it would turn out like this?"
Shen Moyu just wanted to sleep; she was so tired her head ached. Hearing Song Wenmiao's words, she felt a pang of sadness.
Song Wenmiao gripped the mineral water bottle in his hand, his tone heavy: "As his brother, seeing him like this truly breaks my heart."
He clutched his frustrated chest and slumped to the side.
The Su Jinning he knew was rarely so badly defeated that she couldn't get back up. No matter how badly she suffered, she would be back in front of them in just a few days, as if she had bought a resurrection suit.
The only downside was that Su Jinning was unwilling to tell them anything and kept everything bottled up inside. In the end, this gave them a misconception.
Su Jinning is fearless and invincible.
————
Su Jinning's lips were pale as she leaned weakly against the headboard, her eyes still red.
Chen Hang looked at the rose in front of the French windows and said softly, "Brother Ning, no one wants you to become like this. I've said all this just to make you understand."