Nací bella y soy suprema

Capítulo 30

The mother, who was already malnourished, was exhausted and finally succumbed to her injuries during childbirth and died.

He always felt that if he had listened to his mother and hadn't gotten sick from arguing with her, he wouldn't have caused her death.

Yes, he killed his mother.

Uncle Guo was in tears. Even though his daughter was pregnant and about to give birth, he still couldn't forgive himself for the mistakes he made in his childhood.

Who hasn't made mistakes in their childhood because of their willfulness?

Ding Yan sighed, "What about her own childhood?"

Dr. Liu said that although Mr. Guo successfully suppressed the traumatic experience throughout, and although he successfully shifted the focus to the "egg" and used unconsciousness to avoid it, he still felt guilty about those painful memories in his subconscious.

This is a typical case of fear-related neurosis.

Dr. Liu advised Mr. Guo to visit his clinic regularly for treatment, as healing the trauma is not something that can be accomplished in a short period of time.

10.

Ding Yan also began to dislike eggs, and she forbade Aunt Mei from putting anything egg-related in the soup. For some reason, after hearing Uncle Guo's story, she thought of herself.

I remembered my childhood, when my stepmother, Aunt Dingxiang, had to abort her first child and undergo sterilization in order to gain my complete love.

Although her father and Aunt Dingxiang have been gone for many years, she still feels that she has been too willful in many things.

“Yang Xin…” She dialed Yang Xin’s number sadly, the young man who would rather be spanked than not stay with her, “Do you remember what kind of person I was when I was a child?”

"Why are you suddenly asking this?" Yang Xin seemed to be eating noodles, making slurping noises.

“Oh… I just wanted to ask,” Ding Yan said.

"I think you were a strange kid. You always hung upside down in trees pretending to be a vampire bat, and you liked to drink chicken blood. You had a bad temper and always liked to bully others..."

"So, do you hate me?"

"When I was little... I did like her a little, but now... now..." Yang Xin stammered. He wanted to say that he liked her now, liked her terribly, inexplicably, he just liked her.

Ding Yan sighed and hung up before he could finish speaking. She tilted her head and thought for a moment, then dialed Wang Xiaofeng's number and asked him the same question.

Wang Xiaofeng whistled softly, looked at the newly completed "17 Teenagers' Mass Suicide" sculpture, nodded in satisfaction, and then said to Ding Yan, "When you were a kid, you were quite special. You had an indescribable charm... kind of sinister."

"Isn't that annoying?"

"Absolutely not. Actually, I've liked you since I was a child. You're brave, straightforward, and daring, like a boy, but also a little kind."

"Really?"

"Really!" Wang Xiaofeng smiled on the other end of the phone. "Even now, I still love you and am willing to do anything for you, even go through fire and water, even kill or set fires. I'll do anything you need!"

"Oh... thank you." Ding Yan hung up the phone and lay blankly on the sofa, thinking to herself, "If Yang Xin said that too, that would be great."

Chapter Ten: Thirst

1.

Since that day, Wang Xiaofeng has been very depressed.

He was initially very happy that day. The client who commissioned the "mass suicide of 17 teenagers" sculpture was very satisfied and gave him a huge reward. He bought a priceless amber bracelet, intending to give it to Ding Yan as a way to confess his feelings to her.

He knew Ding Yan would definitely like that bracelet, the amber bracelet, with its dark and evil allure.

Little did anyone know that Ding Yan was in a bad mood that day, and her bad mood was because Yang Xin was in a bad mood.

Although there have been several suicides recently, Yang Xin was unable to stop them all; he only learned of them after they occurred. This is understandable, as these suicide victims were all carefully trained by Ding Yan.

Yang Xin was very depressed. He felt like a useless person, unwanted by others, doing a pointless and dispensable job.

Upon seeing Wang Xiaofeng, Ding Yan acted as if he had found a savior and said, "Hey, Wang Xiaofeng, let's help Yang Xin, shall we?"

"How can we help? What can we help with? What can we do to help?" Wang Xiaofeng asked unhappily.

“We’ll lure someone to commit suicide, then notify Yang Xin to save them. He’ll definitely be happy!” Ding Yan said firmly.

"Do you really want him to be happy? If he's unhappy, are you unhappy too? Would you do something that goes against your work principles just to make him happy?" Wang Xiaofeng's mouth fired off a series of questions like a machine gun.

"I don't know either, I just wanted to help him!" Ding Yan pouted.

"And what about me?" Wang Xiaofeng said sadly.

"What's wrong?" Ding Yan asked, puzzled. "Are you in a bad mood too?"

"yes."

"Why?" Ding Yan tilted his head and looked at Wang Xiaofeng.

Wang Xiaofeng stared at Ding Yan for a long time, then finally let out a long sigh without saying anything.

I can't say it. If I do, and he rejects me, given Ding Yan's personality, we might not even be able to remain friends.

"It's nothing!" Wang Xiaofeng smiled. "I was just saying. Here, this is for you." He took Ding Yan's wrist and put the amber bracelet on her slender arm.

The dark red amber, paired with her fair skin, was simply stunning. Wang Xiaofeng stared at her in a daze.

"Wow! It's so beautiful!" Ding Yan jumped up happily. "It's not expensive, is it?"

"It's not expensive." Seeing Ding Yan's smile, Wang Xiaofeng suddenly felt that nothing else mattered.

"Is it made of plastic?" Ding Yan asked, standing on the sofa and looking down as he fiddled with the bracelet.

"Yes, you have a good eye." Wang Xiaofeng continued to smile, but there was a hint of helplessness in his smile.

2.

Despite Lao You's strong opposition, Ding Yan insisted on providing a suicide plan for all those who attempted suicide, regardless of whether they acted on impulse or after much deliberation.

“Ding Yan,” the old postman said sternly, “you’ll ruin our reputation by doing this.”

"What's there to be afraid of! They won't really die anyway, Yang Xin will definitely come to save them!" Ding Yan insisted.

"That's precisely why it's dangerous! What if Yang Xin can't save them, and those who didn't really want to die end up dying instead, while those who did want to die are saved by Yang Xin? Wouldn't that create chaos?!" Old You said sternly. "Besides, aren't you afraid Yang Xin will suspect you? How do you know these people want to commit suicide? Yang Xin will definitely ask questions, he'll definitely be suspicious, and then things will be difficult to handle!"

“Well… well… there’s one case a week, finding people who don’t really want to die, and having Yang Xin rescue them, okay… once a week isn’t enough…” Ding Yan shook the old postman’s arm.

The old postman sighed, "I just can't do anything with you! It happens every two weeks!"

"One week..."

"Half a month!!"

Ding Yan was stunned. Looking at the old postman's serious expression, he knew he couldn't back down any further. He lowered his head and muttered softly, "Alright, alright, then half a month it is..."

3.

Wang Xiaofeng drank an entire bottle of mineral water, but he still felt thirsty. No matter what he drank or how much he drank, he always felt empty inside. No, not empty, but rather an unnamed fire that spread from his heart to his entire body, burning slowly but surely, and he just couldn't extinguish it.

He drank three more bottles of ice-cold beer, then staggered toward the pig farm.

The pig farm was unusually quiet late at night.

The sounds of piglets sucking on their nipples mingled with the grunts of their mothers. He gripped the scalpel, casually pulled out a piglet, and plunged it into its throat. The piglet's scream instantly turned into a low moan of pain.

He pulled down his pants, squatted down beside the groaning pig, closed his eyes, and imagined Ding Yan's cute face, slowly reaching the peak of pleasure.

However, just like every time recently, it always stopped abruptly just as it was about to reach its peak.

He kicked the piglet angrily, and the fire on his body burned even more fiercely.

Yes, how could he compare Ding Yan to a filthy pig? How could he possibly imagine a stupid pig as Ding Yan? In his heart, Ding Yan was incomparable to anyone else, irreplaceable.

"Ding Yan..." he murmured, regretting not confessing his feelings during the day. But what difference would it make even if he had? He had already seen in her eyes that she liked Yang Xin. There was no trace of him in her eyes; she couldn't see the kindness he showed her.

What did that brat Yang Xin do for her this time? He did nothing; he just reaped the benefits without lifting a finger.

Wang Xiaofeng didn't understand that love is sometimes like this: the one who is deeply immersed in it and cannot extricate themselves is often the one who gives more. The more one gives, the deeper one loves; the more one gives, the harder it is to let go.

He staggered out of the pig farm and wandered aimlessly through the streets.

The night wasn't dark; it was a grayish-blue, with an ambiguous feel.

"Oh! Handsome guy..." A woman covered in dust approached, "Handsome guy... all alone..."

Wang Xiaofeng pushed him away, tugged at his collar, feeling empty, hot, stuffy, and with nowhere to vent.

"Want me to keep you company? It's very cheap, and I guarantee I'll make you feel good to the bone..." The woman continued to follow him.

He turned around and roared, "Get out!" He stubbornly refused to give up his virginity, preferring to masturbate to a pig, because he cherished this first time so much; he felt it belonged to Ding Yan.

But what about Ding Yan? What about Ding Yan's first time? Is he planning to give it to Yang Xin?

He shook his head and looked at the embarrassed woman. In the darkness, her face was as pale and thin as Ding Yan's.

“Come here…” he beckoned.

Seeing a customer coming in, the woman immediately approached, "So, how about it? Go to your place? Or mine?"

Wang Xiaofeng thought for a moment and said, "Let's go to my house!"

4.

Do you know why working as a prostitute can be relatively lucrative? Because it involves risks.

Seeing that Wang Xiaofeng had tied his limbs to the four corners of the bed, the woman still smiled and said, "I didn't know you had this kind of hobby... This will cost extra!"

Wang Xiaofeng, with a gloomy face, ignored her and put the neck brace he had worn all winter over her head, leaving only her mouth exposed.

"Open your mouth," Wang Xiaofeng said coldly.

The woman sweetly coaxed, "What? What do you want me to eat? Don't worry, I don't need to take any drugs, I can guarantee I'll be irresistibly seductive to your very bones..."

Wang Xiaofeng, too lazy to waste any more words with her, forcefully pried open her mouth with one hand, and with the other hand holding a scalpel, steadily and accurately severed her vocal cords. The woman struggled in pain, making hoarse sounds.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

The woman nodded frantically, making muffled noises as if begging for mercy.

As Wang Xiaofeng took off his clothes, he laughed hysterically: "It hurts, doesn't it... The feeling of pain is strange, isn't it? You know?" He cried: "I'm heartbroken, but I can't feel the pain; I've drunk a lot of water, but I'm still thirsty; like this... yes... just like this..."

He groaned as he cut open her shirt with a scalpel, making a gentle cut on her not-so-full breasts. Bright red blood flowed silently down, like Wang Xiaofeng's tears, filled with resentment and anger.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you. In my heart, you're dirtier than my pig. If I absolutely have to touch you, I'll only use a scalpel... hahaha..."

Is this what happiness is?

Wang Xiaofeng groaned, feeling immense pleasure with each cut he made on her body.

He would cry one moment and laugh the next. But whether he cried or laughed, it was a cathartic release, a million times happier than wanting to cry but not being able to, or wanting to laugh but not being able to.

This is happiness.