Su Yi didn't know what to say next. Faced with his son's questioning, he resolutely chose silence.
This long-buried truth was something even he couldn't face. He simply shook his head, using the gentlest of methods to shatter the last glimmer of hope in Su Jinning's eyes.
Su Jinning was stunned. He felt as if the world had suddenly gone dark and his vision had become blurry.
His heart felt like it was tightly bound by a thorny vine. The more he retreated, the tighter the vine gripped him, until a thousand thorns pierced his flesh. Only then did he realize with a start that his mother was dead…
At that moment, his entire being seemed unable to accept this fact, and endless roars and turmoil erupted within him.
A wave of dizziness swept over him, and he felt a metallic taste in his throat before spitting out a mouthful of blood.
"Xiao Ning!"
"Brother Ning!"
He could no longer hear their urgent words; he just stood there dumbfounded, like a clay sculpture covered by years of time, which was then turned into a puddle of mud by a heavy rain.
Shen Moyu's eyes were still wet with tears, and she was quite frightened by him: "Brother Ning, how are you? Are you feeling unwell?"
Su Yi pulled Su Jinning's hand, the warmth of his palm seemingly washing away the coldness in Su Yi's hand.
But it was too late; Su Jinning's blood was already cold.
Like that cold death certificate, it ruthlessly etched the mother's name.
It destroyed the harmony of a family.
"I don't believe it..." Su Jinning shook her head frantically, her eyes as dark as bottomless black holes.
He suppressed a sob and grabbed Su Yi's hand: "It's impossible... My mother writes to me every year..." He took a deep breath, as if gathering his strength: "You're all lying to me... But she would never do that..."
He tried to prove his mother's existence with those few cold letters. At that moment, all the memories of his mother flooded his mind like a tsunami.
He couldn't accept that the woman who had sent him letters for two years had left this world forever a year earlier, on the day he happily stepped into high school.
Su Yi wept as he looked down; his aged face had long been etched with sorrow.
But most of the time, he couldn't show it to others.
Everything had come to light, and Su Yi had no intention of hiding it any longer. He grasped Su Jinning's trembling hands and said, word by word, "Xiao Ning... it's true..."
Su Jinning backed away, his head throbbing with blood, his heart pounding. Everything he felt seemed to be an escape from his father's gaze, an escape from the truth about his mother.
Su Yi's silence felt as if his heart had been thrown into an ice cellar, frozen and rotten, until it was a bloody mess. To try and replant it in his heart was to find only stagnant water.
"Dad..." Su Jinning covered her ears, struggling against the cold corner of the wall, "I beg you... I beg you, please stop talking..."
Don't tell him that his mother has passed away, and don't admit this fact in front of him.
Don't tell him that the person he's been waiting for for two years has left him with only a death notice.
That would be too cruel.
Su Yi gripped his hand tightly. He didn't dare look at Su Jinning's face, so he could only get up and hug him. His body was trembling incessantly, as if it would shatter at any moment.
"I'm sorry..." Su Yi hugged him tightly, "I couldn't bring her back."
He could only apologize, because he was powerless to change anything.
Su Jinning buried his face in Su Yi's shoulder, and at that moment his voice seemed to finally be released, and he could no longer hold back his tears.
The sound was heart-wrenching, and it made Shen Moyu's heart ache as well.
He remembered what Su Jinning had said to him on the bridge. The night was dark, and tears couldn't hide the sorrow in his eyes. He drank some wine and, like a child, said he missed his mother very much.
He also remembered the wish the two of them made.
Su Jinning lowered her head dejectedly, but a glimmer of hope still shone in her eyes: "I hope my mother can come back soon."
Even he couldn't believe that what Su Jinning had longed for for so long had been shattered by this farcical reality.
Shen Moyu stood there blankly, his lips pursed. He couldn't help, he couldn't empathize, he could only watch Su Jinning cry out in such heart-wrenching pain.
"You've all been keeping this from me..." Su Jinning's eyes blazed with fury, as if a chilling winter wind had pierced through her entire body, leaving her speechless for a long time.
Su Yi explained helplessly, "Xiao Ning, you were too young back then..."
"I've been fooled by you for two years like a complete idiot!"
Su Jinning's sharp words interrupted Su Yi. He suddenly stood up, and for some reason, Shen Moyu felt that he had suddenly become much thinner.
The embers that had been burning within him were ignited in an instant by grief and impulse. He shoved Su Yi away and shouted at him, "You all knew, but you were the only ones lying to me!"
He felt as if the whole world had abandoned him. He was blindfolded, unable to see anything around him, and led by the nose by those cold envelopes for two years.
He pulled out the jade pendant he always carried with him from his pocket; it was the only thing his mother had left him that he cherished.
The surface of the jade pendant had been worn smooth by countless hands, and what was recarved on it was only longing and the passage of time.
He's like an idiot.
A jade pendant and a few tattered letters have kept him going until today...
He still fantasized that his mother would still be standing in front of him peacefully.
And who knows, on some quiet afternoon, he might open the door to find his mother, rice spoon in hand, smiling as beautifully as he remembered: "You're back! I made you scallion fish."
But that's the reality.
On a quiet afternoon, he opened the drawer and found his mother's death certificate.
That was no less than if he had seen her corpse with his own eyes.
He no longer sought an explanation or an answer from Su Yi.
It couldn't be simpler: he lost his mother forever.
He was an imperfect child.
"I waited two years..." Su Jinning choked up, her voice dry and broken, like a tattered rope suddenly snapping: "And in the end you tell me... my mother died long ago?"
He seemed to be questioning himself, or forcing himself to accept the facts.
He grabbed the death certificate from the ground as if he had caught his mother's killer. His eyes were filled with despair and resentment: "You've fooled me for two years with those worthless letters!"
No one knows how many sleepless nights he spent missing his mother, nor does anyone know how much he longed to receive those letters.
They built up his hopes little by little with the most ridiculous lies, only to overturn them all at once in the end... No one cared how helpless and desperate he was.
Su Yi stood forlornly in the distance, his once upright figure now crushed by pain.
"Xiao Ning... I also want to tell you... but you're still too young, we can't bear to..."
"How could you bear to lie to me?!" Su Jinning shouted like a madwoman.
He is not afraid of lies, and can even pretend not to know when he knows he has been deceived. It's not that he doesn't care, but he is more afraid of the truth behind the lies.
Just like now, the person he loves most has been deceiving him for two years under the guise of feeling sorry for him.
He didn't know where his mother's grave was or how much wind and rain it had endured.
There wasn't even a reason to offer a bouquet of flowers.
"I'm not lying to you!" Su Yi replied nervously, unsure what to do with his hands. "Those letters were indeed written by your mother."
He took a deep breath, as if making a decision.
"By the time your father found out, your mother's condition had already worsened."
His voice was filled with bitterness and suppressed emotion: "She couldn't be kept in China, so Dad sent her abroad. She can't see you, and she's afraid you'll see her after chemotherapy... so she writes to you..."
These truths finally gave Su Jinning a complete answer.
It was like a sharp blade, piercing his heart deeply and firmly, leaving no gap for blood to ooze out.
He couldn't bear to think about how those few words in the letters were written to him by his mother, who was separated from him by thousands of miles, counting down the days until the very end.
He knew his mother wasn't lying to him.
The longing expressed in those letters is the best proof.
Su Jinning stopped crying... as if something was suppressing her tears.
More accurately, it was a state of utter despair.
He got up and awkwardly picked up the jade pendant that had been thrown on the ground, pressed it against his chest, and clutched it tightly, as if afraid that fate would cruelly take it away again, leaving him no trace of it.
Su Yi couldn't help but tremble. Those words he hadn't even dared to think about in detail, now being spoken to others like this, felt like they were tearing him apart.
"Dad didn't lie to you about any of this..."
Su Jinning's gaze was empty and blank. He was breathing heavily as he stared at the crumpled death notice on the ground.
He only looked away when his eyes became sore.
A lump rose in his throat, and he suddenly remembered that summer.
Everyone was focused on participating in the city's ball game, but he was the only one who ran to the hospital, drenched in sweat, and watched as his mother, her eyes closed, was wheeled into the emergency room.
His mother lay on the hospital bed, her eyes tightly closed, as if she had been asleep for a long time. He dared not approach her to disturb her, but he was also afraid that if he didn't wake her, she would never wake up again.
That summer was noisy and lively, but he was the only one who experienced unusual loneliness.
Another wave of excruciating pain washed over him. He felt as if his mouth and nose were being covered by dense seaweed, struggling to die.
"Xiao Ning..." Su Yi wanted to hug Su Jinning urgently, but he was pushed away.
"I don't want to hear it..." Su Jinning covered her ears again, her mood suddenly sinking.
He wished he could jump into the sea right now, so that the sound of water would fill his ears until the moment he died, and only then could he forget the sounds on the shore.
Just drown like that, and never think about it again until the very end...
"Get out..." Su Jinning pointed to the door, constantly drawing in cold air into her rotting stomach.
"I told you all to get out!" Su Jinning slammed down the desk next to her, her sharp voice shattering the composure of the three people.
Su Yi and Shen Moyu looked at Su Jinning, who was in a state of extreme emotional collapse, and almost wanted to rush over to comfort her, but they both backed down.
Su Jinning needs some peace and quiet, and they all know that.
They just didn't know how long he would lock himself in his room.
Shen Moyu's eyes were red as he watched Su Jinning collapse helplessly against the wall. He finally began to feel afraid, afraid of how long it would take for him to get back up after this loss of balance.
Closing the door felt like shutting out the world. Shen Moyu's hand remained firmly on the doorknob, unwilling to let go for a long time.
Su Yi took a breath, but his voice trembled as he exhaled.