Now, let me tell you a story!
A man I know had a disagreement with his wife over some trivial family matters. His wife insisted on a divorce, but he refused, wanting a happy and stable family. They wanted to mend their relationship and decided to have a second child. His wife was already in her late thirties, considered an older mother. The pregnancy went smoothly, but because she was over thirty-five, the hospital classified her as high-risk and required the most comprehensive and rigorous prenatal checkups. Some of these checkups weren't available at the hospital, requiring appointments at other hospitals. Since all the high-risk pregnant women in the city were getting those checkups at that one hospital, it was extremely difficult to get an appointment. Many pregnant women queued up but couldn't secure one. His family used connections to get things sorted out. I'm sharing this to demonstrate how much his family valued this second child.
The prenatal checkups went smoothly and normally until the final checkup before delivery, when they discovered the baby's head was smaller than average. Several doctors were called in to confirm, but none dared to make a conclusion. The doctor even called the couple into his office to discuss the issue. His wife was devastated and burst into tears. He, a tactful and capable middle-aged man, didn't immediately confront the doctors. Instead, he felt he needed their help, so he patiently sought their advice for a long time. The doctor offered many suggestions and mentioned a private hospital with more advanced equipment, saying he knew someone there who could arrange for a direct examination. He immediately took his wife to that private hospital. The results were clearer than at the maternal and child health center, but the baby was still slightly smaller than average. His wife cried the whole way, and he could only comfort her while saying that if the private hospital wasn't reliable and the doctors weren't skilled enough, they should go to the provincial hospital. It's important to know that getting an appointment at the provincial hospital is usually incredibly difficult, especially since it was already afternoon and there was no way to get one. There was no other way, so I used all sorts of connections and begged my superiors to give me special treatment and get an appointment. I rushed over for the checkup before the end of the workday, but the result was still too low.
His wife was undecided at the time, so he firmly took her back to the maternal and child health hospital to see her original doctor and asked him to provide psychological counseling for her. He tried to reassure her that this was just a possibility, not a final conclusion, and that perhaps the birth would be good. The doctor also acknowledged that measurements obtained through equipment are not always 100% accurate due to the human body's three-dimensional structure (for example, a predicted fetal weight of six or seven pounds might result in a birth weight of ten). After making these arrangements and conducting various tests for his wife, they finally decided to continue the pregnancy. The baby girl was born with perfect health check results—a perfect baby.
But he later told us that on the way to another hospital, he had already decided that if the child was born with problems, he would arrange to send him away.
But fate was kind to him, so it didn't give him the worst possible ending.
After giving birth, his wife, who already lacked a sense of security, felt even more insecure. During postpartum care, she refused contact with anyone, including her own mother, and only wanted him to do things for her. Putting everything else aside, perhaps his actions in this situation earned his wife's approval, and she became more dependent on him.
However, this man is a seemingly friendly but ruthless construction foreman. He even faked a divorce with his wife to buy multiple properties, transferring all fixed assets to her name during the divorce proceedings.
When the child was born, it was a girl, and he felt a little regretful because his first child was a son. He wanted another son, hoping the two brothers could help each other when they grew up. But now that the little girl is almost five years old, he told me that he feels his younger daughter will definitely be more successful than his older son in the future.
Let's not judge whether he was right or wrong; that's roughly the story.
Finally, just one last shout: everyone, please bookmark my new article!
Chapter 62
The couple had discussed the baby's name extensively, with both sets of elders offering helpful suggestions and hopes. Xiang Zongnan and Liu Zewen, both enthusiasts of feng shui, had a patron who had been guiding them, and they had originally agreed to have the master choose a name based on the baby's birth date and time. Fang Haoping was also very enthusiastic, selecting no fewer than twenty names for boys and girls and giving them to Fang Zidu, repeatedly urging him to use the one with the best meaning.
Fang Zi didn't believe in feng shui and didn't want Fang Haoping to interfere, so he rejected both of them. He discussed several names with Xiang Lan, including both male and female names, and said that they only needed to submit the one they wanted the most.
Xiang Lan looked at Fang Zidu, her mouth pursed, and after a long while said, "Anything I choose is fine?"
"Um."
Fang Ziqing.
"OK."
After the prescriptions were given, the doctor came to check on her, treated her wound, and pressed on her lower abdomen. The incision was still throbbing slightly, but as soon as the doctor touched her stomach, with just a little pressure, she was in excruciating pain. The pain was like contractions, and she was covered in cold sweat, gripping the bed rails tightly, afraid to move.
"Vaginal delivery is painful before delivery, but you can walk again immediately after delivery, and the care is simpler; a cesarean section is simple to deliver, but the post-delivery care is troublesome. What about your family members?" the doctor asked.
"Go—for the birth certificate."
The doctor didn't say anything more, just kept working hard. Xiang Lan couldn't hold back any longer and started to twist her body.
"Family member, please help me hold her down." The doctor said hurriedly when he saw Fang Zi come in. "Don't twist, what are you twisting for? Just bear with it, it will pass. If the uterus doesn't contract back, it will be more troublesome later."
Fang Zidu saw that her face was pale and she was covered in cold sweat. He felt extremely distressed. He put the completed certificate aside, reached out and pressed her shoulder, and said, "She seems to be in a lot of pain. She can't tolerate pain."
"You have to endure the pain, no matter how bad it is. Being a mother is not easy."
Xiang Lan struggled but couldn't break free, tears streaming down her face, calling out for her mother, looking utterly miserable.
After the doctor finished pressing, he told Fang Zidu, "Don't give in to her. Let the baby nurse more often when you have time. This will not only help your milk come in sooner, but also stimulate uterine contractions. Also, walking around more will help release gas."
"Okay." Fang Zidu was also sweating profusely, so of course he would do whatever the doctor said.
Xiang Lan's tears had another layer. When the doctor was caring for her, he directly ripped off her clothes, leaving her almost half-naked on the hospital bed. This complete shattering of her privacy was unbearable for her. She already felt distant from Fang Zi, and the thought of having to rely on him like this from now on made her sad. She didn't want to depend on strangers like a nanny or her mother-in-law for such intimate matters; it was so upsetting.
Fang Zi didn't even try to stop her from crying. He took a wet wipe and wiped her face, showed her the birth certificate, and then helped her walk around the ward. Xiang Lan endured the pain and walked for a while before starting to feel hungry. Her stomach was rumbling, and she felt a noticeable urge to pass gas. She quickly said, "You should go out quickly—"
Fang Zi was taken aback for a moment. "You're still in pain, I have to support you."
"Get out of here right now." Xiang Lan's face turned red. She was about to burst. It was too embarrassing to pee in front of him. She couldn't do such a thing. She could only say, "I need to pee. If you don't leave, I'll hate you."
He suddenly realized and quickly said, "I don't mind—"
"I mind!" she almost shouted, her voice trembling with tears, and because she really couldn't hold it in any longer, she finally let out a gas.
She never wanted to experience that feeling of despair again—the feeling of her body being out of her control. The emotions she'd been holding back for days finally burst forth; even just releasing gas was enough to break her. She pulled her hand away from his, covered her face, and wailed.
"Go away, go away, I don't want to see you."
"I'm not leaving." Fang Zidu held her, ignoring her hitting him, and said, "Xiang Lan, we are husband and wife. I need to take care of your health. This is all natural."
I don't want to hear what you're saying—
"If I get sick or become unable to move in the future, will you still dislike me?" Fang Zi exerted himself to prevent her from hurting herself, estimating that she had passed gas and was gradually recovering. He picked her up, placed her on the headboard, and pulled the blanket over her.
"I will, I despise it, I don't want to see you looking ugly."
Fangzi lowered his head and kissed her tear-streaked face, demonstrating his non-concern with his actions. Unfortunately, she was still worried and pushed him away, saying, "I don't want to see you right now."
The ward door opened, and Liu Zewen pushed the crib in. Seeing the two of them arguing again, with Xiang Lan crying loudly and Fang Zi looking helpless, he said, "What's wrong? Didn't I tell you not to cry?"
When Xiang Lan saw her mother, it was like seeing a savior. "Mom, tell Fang Zi to leave. I don't want to see him."
"Are you being willful again?" Liu Zewen wasn't going to give in to her this time. "Zidu only slept for a few hours before running over here. Don't bother him. Tell me, what happened?"
Fang Zi was a little embarrassed. "She just passed gas—"
"What's wrong with you?" Liu Zewen carefully picked up the little girl and said, "Don't cry, come and see our little girl. It was her first bath, and all the other babies were crying from fear, but she was smiling and moving her arms and legs so naturally. So cute! Even the doctor said it's very rare for a premature baby like this to develop so well without going to an incubator—"
"Zidu, the hospital sells maternity meals here. Lanlan can start eating once she passes gas. Go and buy some." Liu Zewen placed the baby in Xiang Lan's arms and instructed, "Buy a lot, I'll eat here too."
“Okay.” He thought for a moment and said, “Mom, Xiang Lan is in a bad mood. Could you please talk to her and cheer her up?”
After Fang Zi left, Liu Zewen saw that she was only focused on playing with the baby and her face was still wet with tears. She didn't even look at him. He squeezed a hot towel to wipe her face and said, "You cry like this just because you vented your anger in front of him. If you really become estranged from him and he ignores you, you'll cry yourself to death."
The little baby was very agile, and was having a great time playing with the index finger that Xiang Lan had given her.
"He seems guilty now, probably because of what he said to your brother, and he wants to make amends, so he's working so hard. It's okay for you to be a little temperamental, but you need to figure out whether you want to continue this relationship or hold onto this and refuse to continue." Liu Zewen's thinking was unusually clear. "When you got married, your dad and brother weren't really in favor, but now it seems they've accepted him. Men are naturally inclined to side with each other. Even if they're your blood relatives and are helping you, they'll probably still think you're being immature. Only your mother and sister-in-law can understand you—"
Xiang Lan nodded vigorously, deeply understanding the sentiment.
“Men and women have different feelings for children. She grows in your belly every day, and you can feel her presence. Men and children don’t have feelings for each other at the beginning. It’s only through the effort and interaction in the process of raising them that feelings are gradually built up.” Liu Zewen sighed. “You’ve always been more emotional since you were a child. It’s not a weakness, but when you communicate with them, don’t just focus on venting your emotions. You can’t have a proper conversation that way.”
"I just don't want to see him right now. I get angry and can't help it if I see him."
“Mom didn’t tell you to endure it.” Liu Zewen patted the little chubby baby. “Try to adjust your mindset. Right now, during your postpartum period, your body is just a piece of flesh, being turned over and over by the doctors and caregivers. If you have any other thoughts, you won’t be able to survive. When you were little, all the books and studies taught you that humans are higher animals, that the spirit is more important than the body, and so on. Now, the process of childbirth will completely tell you why humans are animals, and that this physical body is just so complicated.”
"Don't feel shy, embarrassed, or afraid that he will see your ugly side. What is a couple? If you can only see the beautiful side and completely reject the ugly or animalistic side, it's not just a matter of whether you love each other or not, but that both of you have a wrong understanding of this society. I think Zidu does this better than you. When you were wheeled out of the operating room, he was the one cleaning you up."
Xiang Lan felt a little uncomfortable with the clean maternity pad beneath her; she herself felt dirty from the bloodstains.
“Now we need to focus on our little darling. She needs to be taken care of too.” Liu Zewen said when she stopped crying. “Once you’re better, we can have a proper talk with Zidu. You can cry and fuss all you want then, Mom won’t stop you.”
She knew her mother was just trying to comfort her, but she felt a little better. A moment later, the little one started crying again, probably because she was really hungry. She carefully moved her to her chest, unbuttoned her clothes, and let her suckle. Sure enough, she stopped crying immediately.
"Deciding to breastfeed?" Liu Zewen asked.
"If I had any feelings at all," Xiang Lan said, puzzled. "I don't feel anything right now."
Liu Zewen reached out and pressed on her chest. "Does it hurt?"
"A little."
"I'll find a lactation consultant to give you a massage." Liu Zewen said, seeing that she was about to look uncomfortable again. "At this time, don't think of yourself as a human being, think of yourself as a milk cow, it will make you feel better."
Do mothers like this exist?
She looked down and fiddled with her baby for a while, then looked up and saw Liu Zewen wiping away tears. Startled, she exclaimed, "Mommy, you—"
“You’re sad, and Mom is sad too.”
Xiang Lan felt guilty, vaguely sensing that besides feeling sorry for herself, she was probably more worried about the relationship between her and Fang Zidu.
A little while later, Fangzi brought over several lunch boxes. Xiang Lan's portion was just watery soup and looked rather bland.
"My mom's flight arrives tonight. She'll go to the hotel to rest after she gets there, and we'll come to relieve her first thing tomorrow morning," Fang Zidu said while eating. "After we're discharged from the hospital, she can stay at our house and be put in the study. How does that sound?"
“Your house is too small. How can three adults and one child live here? And there’s a nanny and a babysitter in the back—” Liu Zewen shook his head.
Fang hesitated for a moment and said, "My mom has a house here, it's quite big. How about I go and talk to them, and we can stay there for a while?"
"No," Xiang Lan refused. She didn't want to spend her month in an unfamiliar place. "Mom, how about I stay at your house for a month?" she said.
Liu Zewen looked a little reluctant. "I have to ask your brother."
Xiang Lan was annoyed. She finished her soup, threw down her bowl and chopsticks, and sat down to glare at Fang Zidu. "It's all your fault."
Liu Zewen patted her hand, took out his phone and called Xiang Yuan. After the call connected, he told Xiang Yuan about the house. Xiang Yuan said, "After they got married, I discussed it with Uncle Fang. Both families chipped in to buy them a house near the school. It's all set up. I'll talk to Uncle Fang later and let them move in directly."
She hung up the phone, her face full of relief, and said, "Alright, your brother and Zidu's father have jointly donated a house to you as a gift to celebrate the baby's birth. It's all set up; you can go there directly after you're discharged from the hospital. They'll figure out a way to back out on their own, so don't be stubborn. The little one should be the priority right now—"
The problem was solved, but Xiang Lan still felt vaguely uncomfortable. She held the little chubby girl and didn't want Fang Zi to touch her at all; she was her own little darling.
Chapter 63
Fang Haoping and Xiang Yuan had been planning this for a long time, preparing such a gift for the little one. Under normal circumstances, it would have surprised Fang Zidu and Xiang Lan.
The new apartment is in the neighborhood next to our rented place. It's a bit old, but thankfully it's a commercial building with elevators, greenery, and parking, so it meets our needs in many ways. The apartment is on the top floor, the seventh floor, and includes a half-level attic. We had someone renovate it; the downstairs became three bedrooms and two bathrooms, and the upstairs has a sunroom, a large study, and a rooftop garden. The renovation took four months, and after that, the apartment was left vacant for four months. We also hired a professional company to remove formaldehyde.
After the two families reached an agreement, they moved all of Xiang Lan's personal belongings from the rented apartment to her place before she was discharged from the hospital.
Xiang Lan was about to face her first long-term relationship with her mother-in-law, and she was very uneasy. She didn't want her mother-in-law to find out that she and Fang Zi were having conflicts, so she carried her little baby with a worried expression the whole way. In the past few days, she tried to do as many things as she could herself, and she didn't want her little one to get close to her, keeping him at a distance.
“Zidu’s mother has already tidied up the house and moved everything that needed to be moved.” Liu Zewen sat down next to her. “I went to see the house; it’s quite spacious and enough for our needs. Zidu’s mother is very meticulous and has taken good care of everything. If you don’t understand anything, be sure to ask her, okay?”
Just as Liu Zewen had said, the new house was decorated in a cozy style and had everything one could need.
Fang's mother opened the door, stood inside, and said, "You're back?"
Xiang Lan opened her mouth and called out, "Mom."
"Come in quickly." Fang's mother had a rather aloof style. Although she had a smile on her face, she didn't seem very enthusiastic. Her eyes fell on the baby in her arms. "Don't keep holding the baby. Give it to Zidu."
She didn't say anything, but lowered her head and put on her slippers.
"This is the master bedroom, and we're using your own bedding and furnishings," Fang's mother said as she led her into the room. "Because you want to breastfeed, the baby's things are temporarily kept here."
"Thank you, Mom." Xiang Lan bent down and placed the little one in the crib.
"You rest, I'll call you when it's time to eat."
"OK."
The elders and Fangzi were chatting in the living room and going upstairs to visit. Soon, the sound of their voices faded away. Xiang Lan breathed a sigh of relief, rolled onto the bed, and began her miserable postpartum period.
After spending just a few days together, Xiang Lan finally realized that Fang Zidu's personality came from his mother. This mother was a woman of few words, efficient, clear-headed, and exceptionally punctual. She not only managed her own time well but also took care of Xiang Lan and the little one.
Since the goal is breastfeeding, promoting lactation is the top priority. With a nanny temporarily unavailable, she immediately ordered postpartum meals, delivered them on time every day, and made sure the baby ate them all. Secondly, she taught Xiang Lan various standard feeding techniques and procedures, setting a feeding time every two hours, with water in between, and then setting an alarm to ensure that the feeding was never delayed by even a minute. She was responsible for strict supervision. Thirdly, all the details of the baby's eating, drinking, and diaper changes had been planned out, and every time it had to be done according to this standard, which she called the standard procedure.