Fang's mother's quality control is even stricter and more terrifying than the recipe itself.
The above rules were for infants, and she also established rules for Xiang Lan's physical recovery.
The mother supervised Fang's daily bed rest time, regularly cleaned the wound and changed the maternity pads, and ensured the correct way and duration of wearing the postpartum girdle, as well as how to maintain personal hygiene since bathing was temporarily impossible. Fang followed all these guidelines.
Xiang Lan initiated a cold war with Fang Zidu, even sleeping in separate blankets at night and refusing to speak to him. However, because of Fang's mother, she could not refuse his physical contact under her mother's orders, and thus had to yield and compromise on this point.
What pleased Xiang Lan most was that although Fang's mother was strict, she didn't interfere much with her personal behavior or enforce anything. She was still rational and knew that her mother's actions were for their own good.
One afternoon, Xiang Lan felt a little stiff after waking up from her nap. The sun was shining brightly outside, so she decided to go upstairs to the sunroom to sunbathe for a few minutes and stretch her body. As she stood on the stairs, she saw Fang Zi hugging her mother and crying.
Xiang Lan was deeply shocked. Fang Zi had always appeared confident and strong in front of her, seemingly capable of handling anything. She had grown accustomed to relying on him and making demands of him. She had never imagined that he could also experience helplessness and sadness, and that he would avoid her.
Fang's mother seemed to have a disapproving expression on her face, and she was saying something. Fang Zi nodded and wiped away tears, clinging to her mother like a child.
Xiang Lan was torn between watching and walking away. Just then, he looked up, saw her, and looked surprised. She immediately turned and ran downstairs. It was so awkward; she felt embarrassed as if she'd discovered someone's secret.
She locked herself in her room, feeling panicked, though she didn't know why. Luckily, he didn't chase after her.
During dinner, Fang Zidu felt a little uncomfortable and didn't dare to look her in the eye, while Fang's mother remained as usual, as if nothing had happened.
That evening, after Fang Zi bathed the baby, he handed her to Xiang Lan to breastfeed. She turned away from his gaze, and he pursed his lips and walked away.
When they sleep, the two of them lie on the bed, and there's enough space between them for another person to lie down.
Xiang Lan rolled over, looking at his back. He was already thin, but now he was even thinner, his shoulder blades protruding. She bit her lip, rolled back over, but couldn't fall asleep for a long time. She must have slept too much during the day, so she was too energetic at night. She got up in the dark, wanting to go to the kitchen to find some fruit or something to eat.
The kitchen light was on, and Fang's mother was preparing ingredients for making soup the next day.
"Mom, you haven't rested yet?" Xiang Lan asked, a little embarrassed.
"That'll be all done." Mrs. Fang closed the soup pot, put it in the refrigerator, and dried her hands with a towel. "Are you hungry? What would you like to eat?"
"Can't sleep? Grab some fruit."
Fang's mother glanced up at her, opened the refrigerator, took out an apple and an orange, swiftly peeled them with a fruit knife, sliced them, and placed them on a plate. As a surgeon, she was very skilled with a knife; Xiang Lan only caught a glimpse of the flashing blade.
"Give."
"Thank you, Mom."
Xiang Lan sat in the dining room eating fruit, watching Fang's mother wash her hands and slowly apply hand cream. She asked, "Mom, did Zizi cry today?"
"You saw it?"
"Um."
"You two are having a cold war because of the bad test results, right?" Fang's mother was quite frank.
"Mmm." Xiang Lan blushed slightly.
"That's good. Let's make a scene and teach him a lesson so he won't dare to be reckless in the future."
Xiang Lan was surprised; this mother's style seemed a bit magical.
“The downside of smart people is that they are confident to the point of arrogance.” Fang’s mother sat down opposite her. “They are absolutely subjective and only believe in their own judgment and the so-called scientific system they have been trained in since childhood. You have a fairly easy-going personality, although you are a little willful, but not too outrageous. Most importantly, you trust him, so any minor conflicts that occurred before have passed. This has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that your relationship will be even better if there are no major problems; the disadvantage is that you have fueled his arrogance, and he will think that all his decisions are correct.”
The fruit was sweet, and Xiang Lan felt her mood improve slightly.
“His father’s parenting style has always been to let him figure out how to solve his own problems. I was busy with work and didn’t get involved. By the time I caught up, he was already set in his ways and there was no way to change him. His thinking is very mechanical, he goes in a straight line, and he tries to ignore human emotions as much as possible. What happened when he brought up the idea of being childless last time?”
Xiang Lan felt her mother-in-law's gaze was piercing, and she had nowhere to hide, so she could only say, "At the time, I was newly pregnant and a little depressed, and my morning sickness was terrible, so I talked to him about it—"
“I guess that’s the case.” Mrs. Fang nodded. “You may have just said it casually because you were feeling down, and what you need is his comfort or emotional support; but his thinking is linear. The request you made is the problem he needs to solve. So, when he mentioned being childless, he had already thought it through carefully.”
Xiang Lan was still shaken.
“With his personality, he won’t learn his lesson unless he suffers a great loss in this matter.” Fang’s mother looked at Xiang Lan. “Today, because you ignored him and didn’t let him get close to the child, he was under a lot of pressure and couldn’t bear it anymore, so he came to talk to me. I also talked to him, hoping that he can reflect deeply on his actions and communicate more with you in the future. It would be best if he didn’t make any decisions unilaterally, right?”
Xiang Lan nodded.
"However, if that's the case, you also need to strengthen your mental resilience and have the courage to face problems together. You can't let your emotions cloud your judgment in everything," Fang's mother also offered a tactful criticism.
"He instinctively didn't want children—"
"Not wanting children is the result; the root cause lies in his way of thinking. Think about it again."
Xiang Lan was actually afraid. She didn't dare to think too deeply because she knew she still loved him, but she couldn't accept his behavior. She was even more afraid that if she tried to clear him up, she would find out that if he really didn't love her anymore, she wouldn't even have a chance to struggle.
After finishing the fruit, Fang's mother washed the dishes and went to bed. Before entering the room, she patted her on the shoulder and encouraged her, "Don't forgive him too quickly."
Xiang Lan moved her lips and said, "Mom, if his way of thinking is flawed, and all of this is causing him pain, do you think he might see me and the child as a problem, and then get rid of us?"
Fang's mother thought for a moment, "Are you scared?"
She couldn't answer, and Fang's mother said, "This is a question he should be afraid of, not you."
She didn't understand. She slowly walked back to her room. The bedside lamp was on, and the light was dim. Fang Zi was leaning against the headboard reading a book. When he saw her come back, he was a little embarrassed and said, "You're up. Why didn't you wake me?"
Xiang Lan ignored him, climbed onto her sleeping side, wrapped herself in the blanket, bit her finger, and silently pondered her own thoughts.
Chapter 64
Fang Zidu's vacation passed quickly. He didn't really want to go back to the lab; this was the first time he had felt this way. But his family didn't need him much anymore. The nanny and the postpartum caregiver were gradually taking over. Liu Zewen visited every day as usual. Xiang Lan was now able to move around freely and had taken over most of the tasks handed over by Fang's mother. When her father came to visit, he brought many gifts. With a few helpers, she was doing very well.
He continued to stay at home, remaining an idle person.
He sat in his office for a while, somewhat absent-minded, unable to concentrate on his reading. He knew that his marriage and family life were facing huge problems, and although he knew what the problems were, he couldn't find the best solution for the time being. Human emotions are a variable, constantly changing; it's not the ideal environment of a laboratory. Even if he wanted to push things forward and ensured his full cooperation, he couldn't control others.
At that moment, he felt helpless.
Tears were something completely foreign to him; he hadn't cried since starting junior high. But faced with Xiang Lan's unfamiliarity and her unconscious distancing herself from the baby, he felt not only helpless but also panicked—a feeling he hadn't experienced even when she told him she didn't want children.
When Fang's mother heard his story, she had an "I knew it" look on her face. Instead of comforting him, she said, "Based on your past behavior, shouldn't you cut off all contact with people or things that cause you pain or simply ignore them? Why didn't you consider that?"
This was ironic, but it also made him reflect: had he done something wrong?
He initially concealed the test results only because he was worried that Xiang Lan would have an emotional breakdown if she found out. He knew that she later had high hopes for the child, and the house was filled with all sorts of toys she had made for him. After confirming the test results, he was not without worries and doubts. He even wanted to learn medicine and start over. However, his consistent way of thinking told him that science is objective and unemotional, and that a few repetitions were low-probability events. He didn't want Xiang Lan to take any risks. As for his final decision to persuade Xiang Lan, he had first convinced himself that his own pain or sadness was no longer within the scope of his consideration.
Xiang Lan's resistance to this exceeded his expectations, and the subsequent developments spiraled completely out of control.
The hospital doctors dared not make any definitive statements; he knew their style, of course. Only the senior specialist he finally consulted provided him with a series of data. In numerous real-life cases, there had been many instances where ultrasounds of pregnant women revealed that the fetal head was smaller than expected, but the final results were always positive. The doctors simply presented the facts and data, leaving the decision to the patient.
He would accept any outcome, as long as it was Xiang Lan's choice and she was determined to have the child, he was willing to share the consequences with her. But before he could tell her, the child arrived, and now he couldn't express his feelings.
He was like a criminal, waiting for Judge Xiang Lan to sentence him. But from the beginning, he had already decided that he would bear all the blame alone.
A knock on the office door startled him from his daze.
"Hey, Zidu, everyone has prepared some gifts and wants to go see your little one—" Lin Li carried in a bunch of boxes.
"Thanks."
"New dad, how are you feeling?" She put down the box, sat across from him at the desk, and stared at him. "Wow, you've lost weight, and your glasses are practically popping out of their sockets."
"fine."
"You don't seem very happy?"
"I'm a little tired."
"Where are the baby's photos?"
Fangzi pulled up the photos on her phone and showed them to her. She said, "What a pretty little girl! Why are her eyelashes so long? Hmm, she looks like you."
He smiled, a slight smirk playing on his lips. Of course she resembled him.
"What's your name?"
Fang Ziqing.
"Nickname?"
"Little Rourou."
Lin Li laughed, "When she grows up, she'll resist this nickname."
"Her mother gave it to her, and she can't refuse it now."
"Are you adjusting to life as a father?" Lin Li asked with concern.
Fang Zi took back her phone, looked at Lin Li, and asked, "Sister Lin, under what circumstances would you break up with your boyfriend in the past?"
"Oh, I knew you were having trouble, weren't you?" Lin Li scoffed. "So you're asking me for advice?"
"Yes," Fang Zi readily admitted.
Lin Li's expression became somewhat complicated. He sighed and said, "For the past six months, you and Xiang Lan have been very affectionate. I thought you two were getting along very well. Could it be that she still minds what I said before, and now that she's in postpartum confinement, her depression has flared up, and she's settling scores with you?"
"Of course not."
What is that?
"During the last prenatal checkup, they discovered a problem with the fetus; there was a possibility of birth defects. We went to two different hospitals for further examinations, and the conclusions were similar. I didn't tell her the results and discussed with her brother that we shouldn't have the baby. When she heard this, she became very emotional, which led to premature birth. Now the baby has been born and is fine; however, she—"
Lin Li was increasingly surprised as he listened, and after a long while said, "Fang Zidu, I really want to open your head and see what's inside? I really feel sorry for your wife now, is she depressed?"
"No, they just ignore me and won't let me touch the little chubby one."
Are you afraid she'll dump you?
Fang Zi clenched her hands helplessly, her eyes filled with confusion. "I just want to minimize the harm to her. She comes first. If the children really have problems, I will have to make the painful decision to let them go, but that doesn't mean I don't love them."
The baby is almost full-term, but it's just an uncertain conclusion that it might cause birth defects.
“Of course, I roughly understand your thoughts, but this is very—” Lin Li thought for a long time but couldn’t come up with a suitable adjective, so he finally chose one: “inhuman.”
Lin Li knew that geniuses are all confident. In their minds, there would never be the thought that "I am wrong." They have enough ability to change their surroundings, and as their abilities increase, they gradually strengthen their understanding of themselves, ultimately concluding that they are not wrong, but the world is wrong.
Only with unwavering will can one change the world, but that also means that changing them is extremely difficult.
Lin Li had a mischievous streak. She knew him well; a serious lecture wouldn't necessarily convince him. She said, "Of course, maybe it's because Xiang Lan is still too willful and doesn't understand the hardships of life. She should trust you unconditionally. When you suggested not having the child, she shouldn't have been overjoyed, but at least she should have complied. You two should calmly go to the hospital, resolve the issue, and then life will return to normal without any loss. Once you've recovered, find a suitable time to conceive a perfect baby again. That's the best option, right?"
Fang Zi remained silent, staring at Lin Li. She continued, "She should be like you, letting go of these useless emotions that trouble her life. Oh, by the way, actually, your marriage was also a very poor decision. Rushing into marriage without any foundation doesn't meet your criteria—"
"I understand what you mean, please don't be sarcastic. I'm still alone—"
"Yes, you are still a person, while Xiang Lan is just an ordinary person. You need to understand the difference and know that as long as you are a person, there are always things you can't give up, even if they are foolish."
Lin Li failed to comfort Fang Zidu or solve any of his problems. After being subjected to a few sour remarks, he vaguely realized that Xiang Lan needed time to accept him. He rarely left work on time, carrying a large pile of gifts from everyone home. As soon as he opened the door, he heard Deng Yifan's exaggerated shout.
Deng Yifan and Wang Runqiu sat on the small balcony in the living room, looking at the stroller with curiosity and playing with her with some small toys. Xiang Lan came out of the kitchen with some fruit that the nanny had washed. When she saw him, she paused for a moment and said in a dry voice, "You're back?"