École des sciences humaines

Chapitre 18

Left with no other choice, I stepped forward and gave a curt greeting: "Hello!"

"I'm so glad to see you're still alive!"

“I told you,” I said with a smile, “I’m not as fragile as you think! I will definitely persevere.”

“Ah Ling, I hope you mean what you say to me!” Ang Liu suddenly leaned closer, pointing to my chest, and said, “Whether you can hold on or not depends on this. Now, I see that it’s not telling me that. You’re just saying nice things.”

"Thank you for your concern!" She waved his hand and walked forward. "Sorry! I have to go now! Goodbye!"

“Zero…you saw it just now, didn’t you…actually, I used to be a lot like you…but…I believe that one day you will realize that choosing the royal family, choosing Taoism, or the path you are on now will only lead to your suffering. Because we are so similar, it will be much easier for you if you choose me.”

"Aren't you also a member of the royal family?" I stopped and turned to look at him. In the sunlight, his eyes were somewhat unfocused.

"Sort of...not quite...one day, you'll find out." He laughed.

A sudden fear gripped me, as if I had a premonition of something to come. I covered my ears and ran forward as fast as I could. That desolate laughter lingered in my mind, impossible to shake off.

Why does everyone keep saying "one day" to me?

When was "one day," and what kind of "one day" did they witness?

The Imperial Lotus spoke to me. The Dao Lotus spoke to me. The bell spoke to me. Ang Liu also spoke to me…

That one day... it's best if it doesn't come...

I couldn't possibly smile as coldly as that guy, Anglican. Even though my smile was fake and forced, at least I still had some warmth… I stopped by the roadside, catching my breath, and couldn't help but look at my reflection in the shop windows. My lips curved upwards at a 45-degree angle, then I froze. My fingertips touched the cold glass, and I tried again, still not believing it.

Who is that... the woman laughing coldly through the glass? Is it me?

No! No! I don't believe it! I must have misread it! I must have misread it!

I immediately rejected the conclusion, trying to convince myself to believe it on the way to the hospital. That's human nature; we habitually deny bad facts, always preferring to imagine a better outcome, thinking that way we won't get hurt. But reality always cruelly wakes you from your dreams; perhaps dreaming really is a bad thing…

When I arrived at the hospital, the squad leader was lying in bed reading. I had thought he was probably sleeping and I could just drop off my things and leave, but he was awake, so I could only greet him helplessly. To be honest, I'm not very good at social interactions.

"Squad leader...aren't you going to rest?...This is...something everyone dragged me here..."

"Ah Ling...please have a seat! I can't serve you, there are drinks over there, please help yourself!"

"No, thank you! I'll be leaving soon!" I stood up, eager to leave immediately.

"Wait a minute!" The class monitor suddenly called out to me, "Ouyang Ling... I heard that your parents know a lot of people like sorcerers, and I want to ask you something."

"Oh..." I slowly sat down again, but my expression became very unnatural. I started to pinch my hands with my nails, as if that would ease my tension a little.

"Then... do you think that after a person dies, their soul really remains in this world?"

I froze, then smiled faintly and said, "No, class monitor! Don't overthink it!" It's better for someone who doesn't know to never know. Many things are better left unsaid. Knowing too much only hurts more.

"Really..." The class monitor lowered his head, somewhat disappointed. "I must have been dreaming..." He kept talking to himself and didn't even notice when I left.

"Squad leader, why are you suddenly asking this?" I was a little suspicious, but didn't think much of it. For some reason, the bracelet on my wrist felt a bit hot after seeing Ang Liu today.

Author: Xinxinjun Reply Date: 2005-01-03 01:53:00

"Dao Ting...remember not to let Dao Lian know about going down the mountain."

"I know, Mother-in-law, I will definitely complete what you asked me to do."

"The stars in the north have begun to change their positions. No one can resist the power of fate... This time... I must push Taoism back to that height... Even if... my hands are stained with blood, I don't care... Dao Ting, Dao Lian is too soft-hearted. When necessary, you must be the ruthless one, you know? This society is like this, it's either you die or I die."

"Dao Ting knows."

Many things are strange; everyone thinks they're right and doing it for the other person's good. But in reality, we're all wrong. No one has the right to make decisions for another person, no matter how close they are.

There's still a week until the sports meet, and the day our class monitor is discharged from the hospital is drawing closer. However, he'll need to do regular rehabilitation after his discharge, so representing the class at this sports meet is absolutely out of the question. Everyone tacitly avoids talking about what happened that night; such a strange thing, I think everyone wants to forget it. After this period of time, I've stopped thinking about that white figure. After all, she's not a vengeful ghost; it's normal for a few wandering spirits to exist in the school. Perhaps I misunderstood the way she looked at the class monitor.

"Big news! Big news!" A girl rushed in, shouting, "It's terrible! I heard that our class monitor suddenly developed a fever yesterday, and his heartbeat is getting weaker and weaker. He's been taken to the intensive care unit!"

"How could this happen so suddenly! I just went to see him two days ago!" a classmate exclaimed, and the whole class erupted in excitement.

"I don't know! Could it be that the surgical wound is infected?"

"It shouldn't be! This kind of surgical wound on a key tissue shouldn't have any major issues!"

"Yes! It was so sudden. He was so energetic before, and suddenly he developed such a high fever... and even fell into a coma. It's really strange..."

Fever? I stopped what I was doing, unable to resist thinking in a certain direction. Generally, if a spirit has a negative interaction with a living person, the most common consequence is a fever. Then comes unconsciousness… If the living person's yang energy isn't strong enough, or if they have some grudge against the spirit, they can easily die like this. This applies to spirits that aren't vengeful ghosts; they generally won't harm people, and if they do, it's usually this kind of situation over 90% of the time. Vengeful ghosts, on the other hand, have many more methods, after all, they possess some power. Recalling the white shadow I saw that day, I thought, perhaps there's some connection! I packed my schoolbag, preparing to go to the hospital to visit my class monitor after school.

Now that I've chosen this path, I can no longer run away from it!

When I arrived at the hospital, I ran into the class monitor's parents in the elevator. After exchanging greetings, they led me to the monitor's new ward. Seeing their anxious expressions, I suddenly thought of Nana. I remembered accidentally learning some things about Nana's family and the unspeakable wounds she carried. Back then, I thought I understood Nana well, but now I suddenly realize that perhaps that thought was very superficial. What I saw of Nana's wounds was perhaps only the tip of the iceberg; deep within her heart, it was darker than I imagined. Every time I think of the wound on her wrist, my heart aches. Looking at the mark, it seems quite fresh; it must have happened during the time we hadn't seen each other. I remember the last time I saw Nana before leaving, she said she had to go home. Perhaps something else happened during her time away. Her family situation is complicated. Perhaps in many people's eyes, for a child like the class monitor, living with their parents is the greatest happiness. But for Nana, although it might sound cruel, I think I understand now: for her, the days away from her parents were the happiest. There are also families like this, where even though they have deep blood ties, the bond between them is not as strong as that between friends who are not related by blood. They are as indifferent as strangers, and perhaps even dislike each other.

Thinking about all this, Nana's smile suddenly seemed like a broken puzzle piece, peeling away from my mind piece by piece. Perhaps we both thought we understood each other, just as Nana wouldn't know where my wounds were, I could never know where Nana's wounds were. What can be spoken is perhaps already painless. All we can do is give each other a hug and tell each other to be strong. But what does it mean to be strong? Does not crying mean being strong? Nana and I were both trying to smile, our facial muscles ached, but why was some emotion about to well up inside us?

Perhaps, this is what it means to be alive.

"Hurry! Hurry! Make way!" The nurse's shouts and the sound of wheels rolling brought me back to my senses. I turned around and saw them pushing the squad leader into the emergency room. I ran after them and saw through the glass that the squad leader's face was covered by a ventilator, and he was pale. The squad leader's parents were outside the ward, embracing and crying.

Strange! I noticed something odd: a layer of white light faintly appeared on the class monitor's body, turned into an arc, flew out the window, and then disappeared.

"Hurry! The pacemaker... the patient's heartbeat is getting weaker!" The voice from the ward came through the glass, intermittently, reminding me of a fact. That might have been the squad leader's spirit... but... the squad leader's body still had a heartbeat... was he a living being? Or... he might be dying... Turning back, the ripples on the heart rate monitor had become a straight line.

"No!" the squad leader's mother cried out.

The doctors inside were still working urgently to save the patient. After a while, faint ripples reappeared on the monitor. After an unknown amount of time, the doctor emerged, and the shift leader was wheeled out by the nurses and transferred to the observation room. The doctor removed his mask, shaking his head as he said to the shift leader's parents, "We've done everything we can... Now we're seeing if they can make it through this week... If the patient is still unconscious after this week, they might become a vegetable. It's also possible that things will turn out like tonight, and then... we might not be able to save them."

"Waaah..."

“Uncle…” I walked up to the squad leader’s father. “Don’t worry! The squad leader will be alright!” I couldn’t help but comfort the heartbroken couple. I silently made a vow to myself: no matter what, I must bring the squad leader’s soul back!

"Thank you!"

I helped the squad leader's mother change into sterile clothing and walk into the observation room. I couldn't resist touching the squad leader's hand; it was still warm. But there was no sign of life on his face. If we couldn't bring his soul back within a short time… he would surely die… or he would be a soulless corpse.

Where would he go? I held his hand, and the royal bracelet on my wrist suddenly began to heat up.

I have to find her! I have to find her! I have to find her! A strong obsession suddenly rushed into my mind, making me abruptly let go of the class monitor's hand and even take a few steps back.

This is it! Such a strong thought turned the class monitor into a living being, leaving his physical body. He even went so far as to search aimlessly for "her," forgetting the way back.

Who is that "she"? Could it be the white figure I saw?

I turned around and shouted to the class monitor's parents, "He will definitely come back!" Then I hurriedly ran out the door.

The school! Yes, the school! They must be there!

Hurry! I have to be quick! Time is of the essence! For a living person, the longer the soul is separated from the body, the greater the pain and difficulty of returning. Many beings end up as ordinary wandering spirits because their souls have been separated from their bodies for too long, unable to withstand the intense pain of returning to the flesh. They miss the crucial window, lack the courage, and ultimately, the world gains another person in a vegetative state, another wandering spirit unaware of its purpose and unable to transcend.

As I ran, the bracelet on my wrist grew increasingly hot. The skin around it ached slightly. Something was about to happen… My body seemed to be changing…

“Grandma…I’ve been looking…” In a corner of the street, Daoting’s face showed a strange smile. She held a compass in her hand, as if she was searching for something.

"Brother Emperor... is it really okay to just leave it like this?" In the royal mansion of the Misty Forest, Lingdang asked Huanglian anxiously.

"It doesn't matter! I know what I'm doing. Ang Liu has his own ideas, and I trust him. Those old fogies from the Taoist school won't do anything..."

"But……"

"Lingdang, don't you believe me?"

"No, I dare not."

"Never forget that our royal family grew up under a curse!"

Although we all deny it, those threads have already bound us together.

The stars in the north have changed, and the gears of fate have begun to turn...

Where could the class monitor have gone? I couldn't help but walk toward the track where the incident occurred, feeling as if something was about to happen there.

Sure enough, a faint white figure sat on the railing beside the track, gazing absently into the distance.

"Class monitor..." I stopped myself from calling out, remembering someone telling me before that living beings might not remember how their souls left their bodies, and might even forget their own names. Many living beings also cannot find their way back to their bodies for this reason.

"You..." I slowly walked forward and sat down beside him, "Why are you here?"

He slowly turned around and said, "I'm waiting for the moon..."

"There are clouds tonight... we can't see the moon... let's go back!"

"Go back? Go back where? Without the moon, the sun's rays are meaningless." I found the class monitor's words somewhat strange. Was it odd that all living beings spoke with such philosophical eloquence? Before I could answer, he began to mutter to himself, "This time... I must wait for her to come..."

A sigh reached my ears, a cool voice filled with unspeakable sorrow, "Why...are you always like this? Always forgetting the rules...so many things...shouldn't have happened." I recognized the girl beside me as the white figure I'd seen at the end of the track that day. She still held no resentment, only a terrifying melancholy in her eyes. In contrast, the class monitor's eyes held a manic rage unlike anything I'd seen before. This...being...shouldn't have become a vengeful ghost...

"Siyue, are you going to run away again? Just like back then, or even try to escape by dying?" The class monitor grabbed the girl's hand. The girl tried to struggle but couldn't break free. Now they were both spirits, and there was no longer any barrier between yin and yang. He could touch her.

"Tuori, I have never run away! You are the one who refuses to face reality!"

"Then tell me... since you didn't run away, why didn't you wait for me at the finish line after that school sports meet? I clearly told you I had something to tell you then, and you didn't come to school for several days afterward, and no one was home when I went to your house. In the end, I even heard the news of your death. You really ran away completely! At that time, I wanted to give up, but your spirit secretly came to see me every night. As soon as I turned around and made a sound, you left. You didn't even give me a chance to see clearly, so why did you still come to see me? You wouldn't talk to me properly, so I had to come to you myself! Today, you must explain yourself to me!" This kind of class monitor was one I had never seen before, a crazy class monitor. Um... I should just sit back and watch the show, right? It seems there's a little conflict between the two of them... a life-and-death entanglement... I couldn't help but become curious, what is it that's holding them together?

"Even if you want to see me, you don't need to hurt yourself... Asking someone to do that kind of thing... Forcibly pulling your soul out of your living body, that's against all reason, don't you know... Maybe you can't go back..."

"Isn't that perfect? I can stay with you forever... Today, can you wait for me at the finish line? After I finish running for you, I'll say a few words to you..."

“Tuo Ri…” Si Yue shook her head, “Are you still unwilling to face reality? There are many things that, once that time has passed, will have no effect if they happen again, and they can never be undone…”

“I don’t know anything else, I only know that I’m trying to make it happen again. I want to see you… I must fulfill that promise. If I can’t today, even if my soul returns to my body, I will come out again in another way. No matter how you try to stop me from the corner, I will definitely go to find you. If I die, that’s even better, I want to follow you forever!”

“Your aunt and uncle will be very sad… Why do you always forget the truth? Tuori, you are the sun, and I am the moon. The sun and the moon can never meet, whether in life or death…”

Did the squad leader force himself to become a living being? Who did he get the talisman from? Last time my soul left my body because of a royal talisman, could the squad leader have done the same...? I suddenly remembered meeting Ang Liu nearby that day, could it be him? While I was still shocked by this fact, a memory about the sun and the moon slowly began to unfold...

That was a past belonging to the sun and moon... Some things, once missed, can never be recovered.

The sun and the moon can never meet.

There is such a relationship in this world. There is someone who has been with you since childhood. Although you quarrel occasionally, he is the closest person to you besides your closest relatives. He knows what you want, and you remember every detail about him clearly. At the age when you know a little bit but know nothing at all, this kind of relationship is terrifyingly ambiguous.

This relationship can be described in four words: childhood sweethearts, or it can be described as an unending ghost.

Siyue and Tuori have a relationship that's so corny it's practically a staple of romance novels. However, they didn't end up as lovers. Siyue chose death, while Tuori chose to conceal his wounds with an even brighter light.

Because they are the sun and the moon, just like their names suggest, they can never be together.

Tuori was a dazzling boy, just like his name, shining like the sun from childhood to adulthood. He was a leader among the kids in his early childhood, and immediately became the talk of the town among the girls when he entered middle school, even though he was only a junior high student. An excellent class monitor, a promising student in the eyes of his teachers, he later even became a key player on the school track and field team, always running at the forefront. His brilliance always attracted more and more people to his side. His brilliance once caused him to overlook certain things, certain things that would affect his entire life, a void that could never be filled.

Siyue is a girl who needs to rely on others to survive, just like her name suggests, her light comes from the sun. She has a congenital heart condition and can't run and jump like Tuori, but she still tries her best to keep up with him, running and running. Several times she has to be rushed to the hospital because she can't breathe, but she still stays with him. The moon's light all comes from the sun, and she always hopes to be closer to him, to have more light, so that she can believe that she is also warm, that she is also dazzling. She deeply admires the sun, but ignores their differences.

The moon can't shine without the sun, but the sun is still dazzling. She only learned this later.

Author: Xinxinjun Reply Date: 2005-01-13 01:02:00

It took her countless hours to get into the same middle school as him. Given her physical condition and abilities, achieving this was incredibly difficult. She had initially thought they could stay close, but she slowly came to realize a crucial truth: the moon wanted the sun to be only hers, but the sun already belonged to everyone. Two months later, Tuori, who was just two months younger, became a star student in middle school. They were closer than before, in the same school and the same class, but the distance between their hearts grew ever wider…