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Chapter 1

I was six years old when I met Fang Cheng. A lot happened that year. My mother died, and my father disappeared. I continued to live with my maternal grandparents, but now I had an older sister.

I wasn't saddened by my mother's passing. In my memory, she always lived in the hospital. Occasionally, my grandmother would take me there, pointing to a thin, frail woman lying in a room filled with a foul odor, saying it was my mother; the equally thin man was my father; and a thin older sister would either be doing her homework or helping my mother. Every time we went, I was terrified. I didn't even dare to go up to my mother and let her hug me. My sister would hold my shoulders so my mother could see me. At that time, she and my father lived in the hospital with my mother. Later, when I grew up, I asked my sister why I didn't live in the hospital. She said the hospital was too dirty! She didn't explain why she could go! Actually, there was no need to ask why; I was too young then. I heard that my mother had been hospitalized for over two years when she passed away. Looking at old photos, my mother was once a very beautiful woman.

Fang Cheng and I were in the same grade, but not the same class. I often saw a boy about my age standing outside the teachers' office. His face was always covered in bruises, and his school uniform was always muddy and torn. What I remember most vividly is that every time he saw me, he would glare at me and snort! It always scared me so much that I would run inside. Later, I don't know if I developed a condition, but I would always lower my head and rush in when I got close to the door, as if I were the one who had done something wrong. I only found out his name was Fang Cheng from what the teachers were talking about.

If I was 'excellent in both character and academics,' then he was 'stubborn by nature.' He never thought he was wrong. However, I didn't know what the teacher's criteria were for judging good and bad. We had only been in school for a short time then. Why could I be the class monitor while he had to stand as punishment every day? It seemed that my path in life was predetermined from the first day of school, but not his.

In third grade, I was named one of the city's "Top Ten Outstanding Youths" and was also the school's class monitor. Teachers liked me, and classmates admired me—except for him, of course. I later learned that he was punished by being made to stand in the corner every day because he was a violent person who would fight with anyone at the slightest disagreement; otherwise, his face wouldn't always be covered in bruises. Even in third grade, Fang Cheng was still fighting and still standing at the office door every day.

He was the school bully; anyone he didn't like would get beaten up by him. Once, in the disciplinary office, I heard a parent angrily shouting, insisting the school expel him. I didn't know what was going on, so I stopped to watch. The old headmaster grumbled for a long time, basically saying no. I noticed he was very skilled at fighting; every time he fought, he seemed to have a good sense of proportion, breaking someone's head while Fang Cheng himself would inevitably bleed. It was a matter of both sides getting a 50/50 chance, and even a demerit seemed like an overreaction. They were all just kids, Fang Cheng seemed to know that, and that made him fearless.

Because of that incident, I developed a peculiar curiosity about him. Fang Cheng seemed to be either born lucky or exceptionally intelligent. His academic performance reflected this; he consistently scored around 60 points, neither high nor low. Even the homeroom teacher wanted to make him repeat a grade or even send him out, but to no avail.

Perhaps it was because we bumped into each other so often in the office. More than once, his class teacher would point at me and say to him, "Why don't you learn from Xiao Ying?" He would glare at me hatefully. Yes, it was a look full of hatred, and even today, I remember it vividly. It seems he only ever looked at me like that. No matter what the teacher said, he seemed indifferent. In the teacher's words, he had a "dead face!" I felt afraid of him, but my eyes would always involuntarily follow him. Flipping through my diary from that time, most entries read: "Fang Cheng got into another fight today, for XX!" Those six years were spent winning awards and watching him fight!

Upon graduation, I was admitted to Shuicheng No. 1 Middle School, the best middle school in the provincial capital. But at that time, I don't know why, I felt a pang of sadness, because I would never see Fang Cheng again. How boring life must be in a place full of good kids! How dull I must have felt. Looking back now, I realize that my feelings for Fang Cheng were more of a 'good kid''s jealousy of a 'bad kid'! Because being a bad kid sometimes has its advantages; teachers will indulge him, prioritizing his happiness; classmates will fear him, flatter him, and he'll always have many people around him. Good kids may gain honor, but they lose much more.

The year I started junior high school, my older sister was admitted to the provincial university of political science and law, majoring in law. My grandparents were overjoyed and told me to be as capable as her and get into such a good university. My sister, however, calmly said that I would be more successful than her. At that time, in my eyes, my sister was omnipotent.

I've never met my father. When I first received the "Top Ten Outstanding Youth" award, someone asked me where my dad was. I couldn't answer. I asked my sister, and she firmly told me that we didn't have a father.

I protested and started crying. My sister doted on me; she would do anything for me if she could. She would never let me be sad and upset, and I was certain she would come to comfort me. But that day, she let me cry. After I finished crying, she pulled me outside and we ran until we stopped in front of an old building. Pointing to a window upstairs, she said, "That man is upstairs, with his new wife and newborn son!" She glared at me, her eyes practically spitting fire. "If you go up there, you'll never come home again!" She let go of my hand and started walking back. I followed her, crying and calling out to her. I was terrified; the fear seemed even greater than when I lost my parents. My sister came back, took my hand, wiped away my tears, and led me home. After that, I never mentioned my father again.

Just like elementary school, middle school for me was still endless studying, activities, and Fang Cheng. Yes, I don't know what he was thinking, but I saw him again in the registration line, looking impatient. At that moment, I was overjoyed; I actually felt that being classmates with him again was the happiest thing about entering the school.

Fang Cheng saw me too, and glared at me with disgust, as if I were his nightmare. But I gave him a sweet smile, and for the first time, I didn't lower my head or look away in front of him. He was taken aback; in the past six years, I had never treated him like that. He rolled his eyes at me and turned away. I thought he was really funny, and I was happy all day. When I got home, my sister asked me if I was so happy because the new school was so good. I didn't say anything. In my diary, I wrote: "Fang Cheng and I can study together again, I'm so happy!"

Arriving in a new environment meant readjusting. I realized I had hardly any friends during my six years of elementary school. I was always surrounded by people, but when I actually thought about friends, Fang Cheng's cool image popped into my head. What's worse, I don't find it easy to make friends. Although I felt down for a while, after some time, I adjusted and it didn't seem like a problem. I guess I'm just a cold person.

He and I were still in different classes, but separated by only a wall. There were four classes throughout the year; classes one and two shared the same teachers, while classes three and four shared another. I was in class three, and he was in class four. In other words, although we weren't in the same classroom, we had the same teachers for all our subjects. In elementary school, the divisions weren't so strict; we should have grown up in the same environment. So why were we so different? Perhaps it was this question that made my three years of junior high school less lonely.

Fang Cheng wasn't as bad after entering middle school. I don't know if my description is accurate, but I still saw him in the teacher's office, though he wasn't being punished by standing anymore; he was always standing there listening to the teacher's scolding.

I remember the first time I saw Fang Cheng in the middle school office, I felt a surge of joy, thinking he was still the same Fang Cheng. He hadn't been fighting; he was arrested for reading a novel in class. The teacher was waving a thick novel around. When they weren't looking, I cautiously peeked at the cover—"Seven Heroes and Five Rituals"?! What was that? I glanced at him again; he didn't care about the teacher's reprimand at all, just like when we were kids. Until he discovered me peeking, he glared at me fiercely, without exception. At that moment, I felt he hated me! I felt a little sad. In the days that followed, we encountered each other many times, only with different teachers and different books. He seemed to read everything, regardless of the occasion or time.

There were no leisure books in my family. My grandparents weren't very literate; they worked hard their whole lives, and their small black-and-white television was their only source of joy. My older sister didn't read leisure books either; she spent all her time reading "serious" books—thick legal textbooks. As far as I can remember, she seemed to have a deep love for law books, and she never had any other ambitions. Those books were lent to her by Uncle Zhou. He said my sister was born to be a lawyer, and I would ask him playfully, "What about me?" He would tap my nose and say, "Yingying is a lucky girl! Because Yingying has the best sister in the world!" Every time Uncle Zhou said that, I was very happy, as if I were that lucky girl in the world.

Seeing him reading a novel made me a little envious, so I asked my sister to find me some light reading material. She paused, smiled, and said nothing. The next day, she found me a few fairy tales at the university library. Although they were very good, I still felt unsatisfied. She then asked me what I wanted to read, and I blurted out "Seven Heroes and Five Gallants." My sister shook her head and asked if I could understand it. I wasn't sure, but thinking that even the naughty Fang Cheng could read it, there was no reason why I couldn't. My stubborn personality made me nod vigorously. My sister smiled and lent it to me anyway. It was indeed a very thick book, and judging from the cover, it was different from Fang Cheng's, which was a little disappointing. I actually asked my sister if there were any other books also called "Seven Heroes and Five Gallants"? My sister was very curious that day, perhaps because she thought I was funny. To avoid her probing gaze, I ran back to my room with the book.

The book was filled with dense text. With my limited knowledge of classical poetry and barely any formal classical Chinese literature, reading a traditional novel was obviously difficult. Perhaps the only thing keeping me going was my stubbornness towards Fang Cheng. I managed to read it, albeit haltingly, and surprisingly, I didn't find it hard to understand at the time. Little did I know that I couldn't truly claim to have understood it then. Rereading those books in university, I felt ashamed and finally understood the meaning of my sister's words. As Lao She said, "When you're young, you understand everything you read; later, you don't understand anything!" Clearly, reading is a process!

My three years of junior high were spent secretly watching Fang Cheng and reading. I remained a "good" student, especially making rapid progress in Chinese language. When I started reading novels, it was to find out what Fang Cheng was doing, following his tastes. He loved novels; it seemed like his only purpose at school was to read them. Whether in class or out, he was always engrossed in a book. Like me, he didn't seem to have many friends, always hiding alone in a corner of the classroom, absorbed in his reading. Later, even the teachers stopped bothering him, as long as he didn't disturb others. And his family seemed to have a lot of books; besides his "badness," I envied his collection. Initially, I borrowed books from my sister's university library, but later she got me a library card at a nearby public library, allowing me to read freely. Her approach to education was very lenient; in her view, reading for leisure wasn't a bad thing, as long as it wasn't during class. When she said this, I immediately thought of Fang Cheng.

I went to the same high school, and my grades were decent. Without being immodest, I consistently maintained a good record, never letting anyone steal my number one spot, which made me quite proud. Looking at my classmates, all the top students were diligently studying, while I had to dedicate a lot of time to leisure reading, yet I still easily won first place – that definitely took skill. My most vivid memories from those years are of how I squeezed in time to study. I did my homework at school, trying to resolve any questions I didn't understand there, and used my home time for leisure reading. My sister didn't care much about my grades. Every time I brought my report card home, she would ask with surprise, "How could you do so well?!" Every time she said that, I was happy and focused on getting good grades for her. She never asked what my ranking was, nor did she ever ask why I didn't study. In her eyes, my academic ability was a given. I remember once telling her I got first place in the whole grade! She just kissed my cheek and praised me. It wasn't that she was indifferent; rather, she was more concerned with my happiness and making more friends. But at the time, I didn't understand any of that!

Junior high school should have been the best time for me to make friends, but unfortunately I really didn't have much time to make friends. I had to do homework during breaks, review during lunch breaks, and help the teachers with chores; where would I find the time to make friends? Besides, it's hard to make friends if you get good grades! But looking at the results, because of Fang Cheng, I started reading leisure books, and it was around that time that I gradually established my direction in life, so whether I had friends or not doesn't seem to be a big regret.

It was relatively normal for us to be in the same grade in high school again; he was a student at our school, and with a certain score, he could directly enter the senior high section. However, this score wasn't the cutoff for most high schools, as it was a prestigious school and needed to maintain its college entrance rate. Fang Cheng wasn't a bad student; just like when he was little, he had ways to barely pass both the big and small exams. But with his grades, getting direct entry into the senior high section of our school was still difficult, and I was genuinely worried for him during that period. As it turned out, my worries were unnecessary; Fang Cheng smoothly entered high school again. At that time, I thought he was actually the luckiest kid in the world! But what was abnormal was that this time, Fang Cheng was not only in the same grade as me, but also in the same class!

The high school section was very different from the junior high section. The high school section also had four classes, but they were divided according to academic performance. Our class could be described as the most elite group in the entire province. The difference in scores between us was only a fraction of a point, and the competition was fierce. In such a class full of geniuses, the presence of this oddball was quite a sight. He was assigned to the last row, and the teacher seemed to have been given a hint that he could be ignored, but why was that? And after entering high school, he developed a new hobby: sleeping! Except for the three afternoons in winter, he would fall into a deep sleep amidst the teacher's angry glares and the envious and jealous looks of his classmates.

Under the college entrance examination system at that time, once you entered a top-tier high school, you were no longer an ordinary student. Forget about having time to play or read leisure books; even sleep was something to be minimized. My situation was alright, but I wasn't as addicted to reading leisure books as I was in junior high. By then, I had found my goal in life: I wanted to be a writer. A great writer, even if they only have one work left to posterity, would be content. How ignorant and naive my thoughts were back then!

During breaks, I would rub my tired eyes and glance at the others, but the one I most wanted to see was Fang Cheng. Nine times out of ten, he would lean comfortably against the wall, reading novels or eating snacks. He looked so relaxed and carefree. Compared to the pale, thin faces of the others and the rings of glasses on their noses, he seemed so normal, so normal that it was almost annoying.

Another annoying thing about high school was the assigned cleaning duties. Classroom cleaning was done collaboratively by students, in pairs, taking turns. With sixty students in the class, it only took turns once a month on average, which wasn't much. But after entering high school, the relationships between people seemed to change, and I felt truly disheartened. It even made me wonder if people become more selfish the better their grades! These sixty students, excluding Fang Cheng, were 59 of the best students in the province, the group that should be 'excellent in both character and academics.' Shouldn't 'character' come before 'academics'? Not at all. After entering high school, they would verbally abuse each other over a seat closer to the blackboard; the class monitor, subject representatives, and student union cadres all suddenly became unwilling to do the duties, becoming "humble" and afraid of wasting study time. When choosing cleaning partners, no one chose Fang Cheng. Their thinking was very pragmatic: how could a bad student do cleaning duties? This unpopular person could only be me, the 'excellent in both character and academics' class monitor. I've seen too much of this; I'm numb to it all. Let them do what they want. If it were anyone else, I might get angry for a while, but because it's Fang Cheng, I'm actually quite happy. I finally have a chance to get close to him. And he didn't disappoint me; in fact, he gave me a really big surprise!

Fang Cheng wasn't as unruly as he seemed; he was actually very kind. He was a boy, stronger than me, and I was used to treating everything fairly, always asking him to share the work. But he pretended to dislike me, finishing the heavy and dirty tasks without even looking at me. Sometimes after school, the teacher would assign me tasks, and before leaving, I'd tell him to wait until I returned. But by the time I finished and rushed back to the classroom, he was usually gone, leaving behind a spotless classroom. Apart from our group, nothing much happened for three years. But the other twenty-nine groups were always causing trouble. He didn't say how we were assigned tasks, and neither did I, so the twenty-nine groups kept switching, and by graduation, no one thought of switching with me. They never imagined that the worst student would be the best partner! I attributed this to my good deeds being rewarded, and I'd feel a little smug when others asked to switch.

My older sister graduated from university the year I was in my second year of high school. She went to work at Uncle Zhou's firm. That's when I learned that Uncle Zhou was a lawyer, and a very prominent one at that, with a large law firm. But none of that mattered. What mattered was that he was pursuing my sister! My sister discussed it with my grandparents, but they remained silent. Seeing their silence, my sister said, "Forget it, let her work for a while first!"

Thinking back, Uncle Zhou wasn't too old then, around thirty-seven or thirty-eight. When he came to our house, he told my grandparents he'd never been married and had been waiting for my sister to grow up. He entered our lives not long after my mother passed away; ten years have passed in the blink of an eye. But marriage is a serious matter, and my sister hesitated. She said marrying Uncle Zhou would make our lives better! That was her reason. She didn't care who she married, as long as he was good to us. I blurted out angrily, "I never thought I was doing badly!"

My sister looked at me for a while before smiling and saying, "Grandpa has high blood pressure, and Grandma seems fine on the surface, but she's getting old. Their pensions are only five hundred yuan, and after deducting essential living expenses, there's hardly anything left. Our tuition for the past ten years has been covered by renting out Mom's house and her pension; my university fees were raised by selling that house. Future miscellaneous expenses were earned by helping out at Zhou Dazheng's firm in my spare time." This is reality! Grandpa and Grandma both know that the person silently supporting this family has been my sister since she was twelve. They just kept it a secret from me, this fool! She said she actually had other choices; she could have skipped university and gone to work. But she didn't want that. Four years of hardship would guarantee we wouldn't be bullied anymore and could live a good life, all on her own! Uncle Zhou has never been married, and he promised to transfer all his assets to my sister's name, and his firm would also belong to her. She was tempted. It wasn't that she was afraid of poverty; she knew wealth was just around the corner for her. She simply didn't have high expectations for the relationship. At least Uncle Zhou was sincere towards her, and he was a decent person whom she could trust! That was all!

I didn't know what to say. Perhaps she had concealed my world too perfectly, and my young mind at that time couldn't comprehend it. Finally, she patted my head and smiled, "Just focus on doing what you want to do!"

I asked her what she wanted to do most. She smiled and said, "My biggest wish is for you and your grandparents to live well."

This was the first time my sister and I had a conversation like this, and I felt like she was starting to treat me like an adult.

In my senior year of high school, a teacher begged me to sit at the same table as Fang Cheng, as long as he could get into a third-rate university with expanded enrollment. He asked me because no one else would agree; helping a "poor student" was more tiring and time-consuming than studying himself. How could someone who wouldn't even do his monthly cleaning duty waste his precious time on someone else? I understood, so I readily agreed. To compensate me, the teacher let me sit with him in the middle of the first row. But I think it was to prevent him from sleeping and reading novels in class. I was happy to be able to help him legitimately. I felt we were truly destined to be together; over the years, we've grown closer. However, Fang Cheng really had no self-respect. When he should have slept, he slept just as much; when he should have read novels, he wouldn't restrain himself at all. I had to spend half my time listening to the lecture and the other half watching him. If he relaxed even slightly, I would sneak away, and he would glare at me angrily, but in the end, he wouldn't say anything, let alone hit me. Sometimes I wondered if he was mute. Thinking back, I realized I'd never heard his voice before. No matter how much I helped him or scolded him, he remained silent, looking at me with a strange expression. This continued until I filled out my college application.

Judging from his mock exam scores, it would be risky for him to even apply to a third-rate university in the city. Filling out the application form has become a skill. I looked up the colleges and universities in the city, and to be honest, Fang Cheng's personality is lazy and eccentric. I really don't know what he should study.

"What do your parents do?" I asked him while looking at the materials. He didn't answer me, and I didn't expect him to. I told him, "If your parents have good jobs, you should choose a related major. That way, you'll have a better chance of finding employment after graduation. You like reading, so why not study library management? It's a less popular major, so the required score won't be high. You could open a bookstore or work as a librarian, which would be great." I highlighted some suitable majors for him.

"Look, how about this: fill in different majors at the same school. That way, there won't be any issues with lower admission scores for second-choice applicants. Remember this section: whether you're willing to be assigned to another major. Make sure to write 'yes'. That way, as long as you pass the city's minimum score, you'll have a place to study!" I felt like an old woman, nagging on and on.

"And you?" He interrupted my rambling. He didn't want to answer me, nor did he expect me to answer him. He simply pulled over my application form. "Peking University? Beijing Normal University?!" He sighed and shook his head. "You really have lofty ambitions!" He glanced at me again, somewhat helplessly. Then, after looking at the application form once more, his eyes widened again, and he almost screamed, "Chinese? Why are you learning Chinese?! You can't eat or drink it!"

"What's it to you? I like it! What's it to you!" I don't know why he had that expression! I also don't know why I, who am usually so kind to people, would start our first conversation with him in such a tone!

He seemed troubled. After thinking for a moment, he took out a pen and began filling out his college application. I was a little curious, but he wouldn't let me see it until he finished. This time, I was the one who was shocked—he filled out the exact same thing as me: the school and the major!

"Are you crazy!" I hurriedly tried to stand up and ask the teacher if I could get another form; what he was doing was tantamount to suicide! He pulled me down.

"I won't pass the exam anyway!" he said lazily, with an indifferent attitude.

"Don't be silly! Fill out another one properly, this won't work! Fill it out the way I taught you, there's still a glimmer of hope!" I almost begged him. I didn't know what this had to do with me, but I felt I couldn't let him do something he knew was wrong.

He frowned at me, as if looking at a fool. But there was also a hint of doubt in his eyes. He thought for a moment, smiled, stood up, and handed in his form. My anxious gaze followed him, as did our homeroom teacher, who was just as startled as I was!

"You..." His next words made Fang Cheng glare back, and at that moment I truly understood the meaning of the phrase "imposing without anger" from the book. Fang Cheng just stared coldly at the homeroom teacher; he was already taller than the teacher, making people shudder. The teacher didn't continue, obediently putting the form into the folder. Only then did Fang Cheng return to his usual lazy demeanor and go back to his seat. He saw my anxious expression and smiled at me. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile, and I suddenly realized he was quite a handsome boy. At that time, the boys were in that awkward stage of development; some were tall and thin like bamboo poles, while others had pimples all over their faces. He seemed to have never been like that; he had always developed very evenly, tall, big, and fair-skinned. His smile gave people a very refined feeling. He saw me in a daze and nudged me, "Scared out? It's okay, I'll definitely have a school to study!" His tone sounded like comfort to me at the time, but later I realized he was giving me a hint.

As we entered the final sprint, the classroom was often filled with the sound of turning pages; no one talked, only muffled groans. I wasn't as focused as they were, working myself to the bone; I was utterly overwhelmed. For Fang Cheng's sake, I summarized what I considered important and forced him to read it aloud! He looked at me more often than he looked at his books, not with adoration, but with a complex mix of observation and amusement. I didn't know what it was then, but from my diary at the time, I read, "Fang Cheng often looked at me with strange eyes, as if I were a strange and foolish person, and also as if he considered me a friend!" Back then, I hoped he would pass the exam, even more so than I ever dreamed of.

Finally, it was time to enter the examination hall. Fang Cheng stood out in the crowd, and we spotted each other immediately. Among the thousands of candidates and parents, we were two individuals without anyone accompanying us. My sister had court appearances those days, and my grandparents had originally planned to come, but I declined. I hadn't let them accompany her when she took her university entrance exam either; I couldn't let her outshine me.

I smiled at him, and when I looked behind him, he waved back at me.

"piece!"

I didn't ask any further; I've never been one to meddle.

We entered the exam room together. I did well on the exam, and after finishing, I couldn't help but glance at him again. He was looking down and seemed to be doing well too, which relieved me. For me, if I had seen him biting his pen and spacing out, I definitely wouldn't have been in the mood to check my work.

For the next few days, I went into the exam hall with him, without saying a word. I don't know if it was a feeling of mutual dependence that led us in together, but we always waited for each other and came out together. We didn't compare answers; I didn't want to upset him, and I don't know why he didn't ask me. His eccentricity had disappeared, replaced by humility, ease, and an air of confidence. I liked him like this. Judging from the exam results, achieving my dream didn't seem difficult, but as for him… I couldn't help but feel a pang of melancholy!

The exams were over on the third day. It was very hot, so he took me to KFC! He bought drinks, sat down opposite me, and looked at me, asking, "What will you do after you graduate from university?"

"You're not planning to follow me to the ends of the earth, are you?!" I said somewhat defiantly. He's applying to the same university and the same major as me, and now he's asking me about what's after university. I know he won't get into the university I want. Even though we've been together for twelve years, fate always has its moments of separation, and that makes me feel bad.

He thought for a moment, shook his head, downed a large glass of iced cola, and said, "That's not necessarily true!"

He may have been unintentional, but I've always remembered those words.

Chapter 2

I spent most of the days waiting for the results in that library. I don't think I've ever enjoyed reading so much. Every day I brought bread and water and would sit there all day. My sister would often laugh at me, saying she'd never seen anyone love reading so much.

During that month-long wait, Fang Cheng and I had no contact; he seemed to have vanished. I realized I didn't know any way to contact him. During my breaks, I couldn't help but wonder how he did on the exam, and I felt regretful that I hadn't taught him more. Finally, the results were released. I rushed to school, not to see my own score, but for him. I started searching from the last place, thinking it would be faster. His name wasn't on that densely packed red sheet of paper listing the cutoff scores. I laughed at myself for being so foolish. Actually, I didn't need to search like that. He'd been around for so many years; others might not know him, but I knew him well. If he had passed, wouldn't that have made all those students who studied so hard feel envious?

"Xiao Ying! You're amazing! So..." My homeroom teacher rushed over and grabbed my hand, so excited he was almost incoherent. I think it must be because I did well on the test, otherwise he wouldn't be so happy.

"What's wrong?" I pretended not to understand. My sister often says, "When you're full, you'll overflow. You should be humble."

"Fang Cheng... Fang..." He was so excited he couldn't even finish a sentence. He pulled me to the red list and pointed to the first large red list with only two names. I followed the teacher's finger and saw Fang Cheng's name, next to a string of numbers. It took me a while to realize it was his score. 687.5, an astronomical figure. Good heavens! This is Fang Cheng's score? I just felt a little dizzy!

"You did well too, you're second, only 7 points behind him!" The teacher finally spoke properly, though it would have been better if she hadn't said anything at all. I looked down and finally saw my name: Xiao Ying, 680.5!

Second place? I'll score 7 points less than that idiot! I didn't hear a word the teacher said after that. I felt like the idiot was in the middle. How could I be so stupid? Not everyone can keep their grades around 60, and not everyone can play around for so many years without anyone finding fault. He's incredibly smart, and I stupidly helped him with his studies! I feel like he tricked me!

The first thing I said when I saw him again was, "Liar!"

He didn't object, and smiled at me, waving the admission notice, "Want to go together?"

We both got into my first-choice university: Peking University's Chinese Literature Department. I turned my head away and ignored him. I was angry, not sure if it was because he scored seven points higher than me, or because he lied to me, but I was really angry.

He shrugged. "I never told you my grades were bad, right? I never believed grades were a way to assess what I've learned. I didn't want to do too well and make people jealous. I like living my own life; what others think is their business. Am I supposed to be like you, working myself to the bone every day, unable to refuse anyone's requests, including helping me? If you hadn't spent so much time helping me study, you would have done better. So… I'm not lying to you; I'm just better at 'playing the victim'! Understand?"

That was the first time he'd ever talked to me so much. His voice was very pleasant. Sometimes when my sister chatted with Uncle Zhou, he would say that my sister's voice would be perfect for a lawyer. I asked why, was voice one of the criteria for evaluating a lawyer? He smiled and said it wasn't the voice, but the tone of his voice. My sister's voice had a persuasive quality. And now I've discovered that Fang Cheng also has this talent.

"When are you leaving? Do you want to come with me?!" he asked again.

"School doesn't start for another month! Why go there so early?" I said reluctantly.

"Isn't the reason for going early so I can have some fun first? I've never been to Beijing before." He said matter-of-factly.

“You spendthrift! Do you know how hard it is to make money? Do you know how expensive our tuition is? You don’t learn how to spend money before you earn it, are you even human?” I yelled at him immediately. He paused for a moment, and I continued, “Besides, you have to come with me, and you’ll have to help me with my luggage.” I could feel his face contorting.

"Why?"

"You said it yourself, I didn't do well on the exam because I helped you, so you owe me!" I shouted even louder, and he nodded.

"Alright! Let me know when you're free so I can have someone book the tickets!"

"Taking a plane? Calling you a spendthrift is no exaggeration. What urgent matter do you have that requires you to fly? Are you in such a rush?!"

“Sleeper berths aren’t much cheaper. I know someone who can get discounted plane tickets, so it’s about the same! Miss!” He sighed, looked into my eyes, and after a while, he lamented, “Miss, you don’t actually want to ‘take’ the train, do you? I can tell you really hate me!”

"I hate him to death!" I stomped my foot on him and stormed off, listening to his shrill scream. I was in an exceptionally good mood that day! He stole my first place, and although I was angry, nothing made me happier than him being with me again. I wouldn't be living alone in such a cold place like Beijing anymore. He would be with me from now on. Seven out of ten! So worth it! He said he would follow me to the ends of the earth, and now it seems he really has!

"When are you leaving?" My sister asked the same question when I got home. I told her the time, and she was taken aback. Why the rush? She and Fang Cheng thought the same thing: going early would allow them to register sooner, secure a better dorm, and even travel around Beijing. I hadn't been anywhere in all these years, not even on a train! Let alone a plane. Besides, Zhou Dazheng had connections and could get me the lowest discount on plane tickets; it was about the same price as a sleeper train ticket. I wanted to take the train, to travel slowly to Beijing with him. What's the point of a rushed journey? But I didn't tell my sister any of this. I told her about Fang Cheng taking first place from me and gave him a good scolding.

My sister listened quietly as I finished cursing him. After a while, she laughed and asked me a question, "Do you really like that boy named Fang Cheng?" I quickly denied it. In my sister's words, at that moment, I was like a cat whose tail had been stepped on!

My sister told me she bought back Mom's house. It was the house they'd been forced to sell because she was going to university, and I didn't understand why she'd buy it back. She didn't answer, but just asked if I wanted to go see it. I figured she wanted to, so I nodded.

It was an old dormitory building, only slightly better than my grandparents' place. The rooms weren't very big, but the lighting was okay. The previous owners had renovated it, but I felt their taste wasn't great. I watched the house, which had once been so closely connected to me, like an observer. My sister watched quietly, without saying a word. I felt she was looking for something, and I could only wait patiently.

She finally looked around enough, smiled, and looked at me: "I'm stupid, aren't I? I always thought this was our home, and selling it was a last resort. When it was sold, I thought I must buy it back. All I miss are the days I spent with my mother; now this place is nothing." She smiled bitterly; the twenty-four-year-old looked somewhat weathered.

"How long has it been since you last came back?" I couldn't help but ask. To be honest, I have no memory of my parents, this home, or life here. I didn't want to know, but seeing my sister like this, I wanted to share her burden.

“Mom hasn’t come back since she left. Twelve years! Yes, twelve years.” She looked lost. I hugged her, and in that moment I realized I was already as tall as her, I was an adult! It was a strange feeling.

"For me, home is where you are, and where Grandpa and Grandma are!" I don't know why I said that, but that's what I said then, and she smiled. She gently patted me and murmured, "Me too!"

Uncle Zhou was also at the family dinner celebrating my university admission. He smiled and said he wanted to set up a study for me, asking me to just give him a reading list. I didn't say anything and went into the room. He gave me the feeling that he was already very certain my sister would agree, it was just a matter of time. My sister remained silent. After Uncle Zhou left, my sister came to see me in the room. She just sat quietly beside me, without saying a word. I still couldn't help but lose my temper with her!

"Isn't this over yet? Didn't we say we'd talk about this after working for a few years?"

"Why are you so averse to this?" She looked at me quietly.

"He's forty years old! He could have been my father back then! Sister, think this through!" I screamed stubbornly. She smiled, but it was a bitter smile.

“I’m sorry! I forgot that in your life, Taisho has always played the role of a father. You feel that he’s good to you because of me, and you feel deceived, right?” Her eyes changed from confusion to understanding.

Yes, to me, Uncle Zhou is like a father. He took me to the park when I was little; he even had a friend bring me my first schoolbag from Shanghai; and most of my school supplies were bought by him, which is why I never felt poor. I've always considered him my father, and how could this feeling be desecrated? Looking at my sister's expression, I felt a pang of reluctance. We've relied on each other all these years, and I really don't want this to cause us to hurt each other!