Мой первый муж после переселения душ

Глава 133

Out of sight, out of mind...

[Text: Chapter Seventy-One]

Chouqian held my hand, but he didn't say anything, and I didn't want to speak.

Why did Zi Mo marry the Gao family girl? He was willing to offend me to marry her; is power more important to him than me?

My chest hurts, it hurts so much I can't breathe, it hurts when I see him hugging that woman. It hurts when he ignores me.

If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have been so willful. Why did I have to make myself understand that what he wanted was a ladder for a man to climb towards power, not an ignorant child like me?

If I had known this would happen, I would have stayed far away and always kept the memory of his love and care for me.

If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have come back that day. I would have gone far away and made you regret it for the rest of your life.

But it's too late to say anything now. You want her? You actually want her? What am I? What do I mean by what I did today?

I feel so uncomfortable, I don't want to move at all.

"Let's rest for a while..." I'm so full my bones ache. Brother—why!

Chouqian led me upstairs. Everything in Yaxian Pavilion was as it had been. The room that was usually reserved for us was still there, and the layout hadn't changed. We were all lined up, and I was at the back, but I didn't want to sit there today. I leaned against Chouqian, resting my head against his feet. I turned my head slightly and could see the crowd downstairs.

Chouqian stroked my hair, his leisurely and indifferent tone soothing: "Don't be sad."

"Mmm." It felt comfortable leaning against him. The natural scent of ink lingered.

"I don't like him marrying Gao Zhenxin."

"I know."

"Tell me, why don't I want to?" I don't know, I just hate it.

He smiled gently and casually: "Because you are narrow-minded, you can't accept that what originally belonged to you has suddenly changed its form."

"Really?" Shouldn't he be mine? He was always mine. He shouldn't have upset me. I didn't mean to stop him from marrying me. "I just want him to compromise."

"But he disappointed you."

"Yes." I hate things beyond my control, and the same goes for people.

"He may have his reasons."

"I've suffered a lot too." I looked up at that strange face and really wanted to touch it to see if it felt as bumpy and uneven as it did from the outside.

Chou Qian remained silent. I just stared at him, wondering what he was thinking. "Why aren't you married yet? Zi Mo is already divorced twice."

"The time is not yet ripe."

Oh! It's that simple. "I should get married too."

Chou Qian looked at me and said, "It's not worth it to upset Zi Mo."

"Will you marry me?" Whether it's worth it or not, I can tell.

Chouqian looked straight into my heart through his disguise.

"Never mind, forget I said anything. I don't want to marry you."

"Why? You once said that I was your first choice for husband."

The prerequisite is bankruptcy first. "I said a lot, but I don't remember much."

Chou Qian's face contorted again: "Someone like Zi Mo isn't suitable for you."

"I know that people like you are not suitable for me."

"Why?" So many questions. I looked at him and told him the answer: "I like relationships that I can control. The person I give my love to must be in a high position of power, because he has to protect me, and he has to dote on me exclusively, because I want his body and heart to listen to me. Even if I want him to die, he will cut his wrists."

"You'll never find love in your life."

"I only wanted to grab Zimo because I couldn't find him, to make him listen to me, to let family love replace romantic love, and to be with him for the rest of my life."

Chou Qian erupted in anger, and suddenly the usually calm scent of ink became uneven. "Impossible!"

I lowered my head dejectedly: "Of course not. If it were possible, I would have used my ultimate move today."

"What did you intend to do?"

I mustered my courage and said, "I'll die right here at the gate, so he'll remember me for the rest of his life, so Gao Zhenxin will suffer for the rest of his life, so those who sabotaged me will regret it for the rest of their lives. So those who miss me will always miss me, so those who love me will be etched into my very bones."

"Aren't you afraid of dying?"

I slumped into a chair, saying, "If I weren't afraid of dying, I would have done it. Why am I wasting my breath talking to you like this?!" Waaah—waaah—why can't I be braver?

Chou Qian laughed, "Are you happy to see me sad? He's not worth it."

"You deserve it." How despicable.

"At least he's better."

"Tch!" I called to him, leaning on the chair. "Ugly Qian..."

"What's up?"

"How did you end up looking like this? Don't you have any skincare products at home?"