Мой первый муж после переселения душ - Глава 331
Let me die, a hopeless death, a clean break. Of course, it would be better to go back in time. Then I could face Yang Xuansi, even if he doesn't love me, he's still my Yang Xuansi, a legally married couple protected by law. It's a good era where anyone who tries to steal my husband will be condemned by public opinion.
I don't want to be here anymore, this isn't a normal place for a human being: "Waaah—Fourth Brother—Fourth Brother—I want to kill myself—Waaah—"
Zi Mo trembled at my unintentional words: "Eleventh, don't scare Fourth Brother."
"Waaaaah-waaaah-I'm a mother--" I don't deserve your love anymore. I've been entangled with two people. You should scold me for being unfaithful.
"Eleventh, Fourth Brother only wishes for your safety. If you're unhappy, you don't have to go back. Fourth Brother will protect you with his life!"
"Fourth Brother." I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. Fourth Brother, you've grown so tall! I'm falling in love with you!
"eleven."
"Fourth Brother..."
I think……
"Eleven, in the past, Fourth Brother had too many concerns. This time, let Fourth Brother protect you, okay?"
"Fourth Brother..." You don't owe me anything.
"eleven……"
"Fourth Brother..."
I looked at him, and finally let my heart lead me to kiss his slightly parted lips...
Zimo will let me have my way just this once.
Zi Mo stopped responding; his body was almost completely numb.
I kissed him impulsively, expressing my helplessness in my own way.
Zi Mo suddenly pushed me away and yelled at me, "Eleven!"
The anger in his eyes completely shattered me. What was I doing? He's my brother!
My brother who loves me so much!
I...I...what right do I have to provoke him!
Why should I provoke him?
What can I give him?
What did I take him for? A flower or plant that I could just throw away anywhere on the roadside?
"I'm sorry." I must be crazy to act without thinking!
I'd have to be a fool to lay a hand on you!
"I'm sorry!" Please don't scold me; I can't bear your blame.
I ran out the door, unable to bear looking into his eyes any longer.
"National Day, National Day, where are you going?"
Even if I blame him, I'll still worry about my brother. Was I wrong? Am I taking myself too seriously?
Was Qianqing just trying to use me? Was Wu Hui's behavior towards me due to youthful ignorance? Had Chou Qian already lost interest in me? Otherwise, why would he suddenly stop being so domineering and stop keeping me firmly within his sphere of influence?
What am I? What have I gained in my more than twenty years of life?
Even my child doesn't love me! I've failed so badly as a person, why did I cling to that in the first place?
"Yang Xuansi, will you laugh at me?" or will you ignore me?
"I love you, I loved you so hard."
Otherwise, I wouldn't have relentlessly pursued you, nor would I have resorted to tricks behind my friend's back for you. It wasn't my vanity, my immaturity, or my desire to prove how bad I was. It was because I loved you.
Do you believe it? I loved you so purely back then: I loved your contemplation under the camphor tree, I loved your confidence as you drew pictures on the ground in the lecture hall, I loved your quiet and unsmiling personality in life.
I always thought you wouldn't marry me, so I made a lot of noise to hide my love for you. Even when I forced you into marriage, you didn't say a word to me.
Do you find me repulsive? Do I frustrate you? Do I put you in a difficult position?
Or do you simply have no feelings for me at all?
I shouted at the empty grassland, "Yang Xuansi! I'd rather face you right now! I'd rather fight every day with women who want to get their hands on you! I'd rather stand against all the women in the world for you!"
But why have I lost myself now? I'm sorry, I can no longer simply love you. I've lost my only bargaining chip, so what right do I have to possess you? I'm letting you go.
If I were alive, I would give you a divorce agreement, just so that you would remember me the next time we meet, instead of looking at me blankly.
Do you miss your mom, Meow Meow? Or have you forgotten what I look like...?
A shadowy figure blocked the sunlight from above my head and looked down at me, saying, "What are you doing here? You look so listless, not at all like the unruly Shen Ziyi."
"Ladyboy, do you love me? Just pure love." Is that okay?
The transvestite, fully clothed, sat down beside me and said knowingly, "Unhappy?"
"Hmm." I lay on the outskirts of the city where we used to play football, feeling lost and unable to see my future or direction.
"Because of Qianqing?"
"Yes." There's also Zi Mo and Chou Qian.