The young woman pulled her husband to her side, pulled a microphone from her bosom, and shouted, "Why do you think he's so amazing?"
The audience roared, "Why—!"
The young woman asked emotionally, "Do you really want to know?"
Audience: "I really want to—"
The young woman reached into her bosom and found several packets of pills in her hand…
Zhang Qing exclaimed in astonishment, "They sell super-strength pills—I originally thought they were selling super-strength pills, but I didn't expect they really were."
The young woman moved with lightning speed, stuffing a pill into the mouth of each of the people temporarily brought onto the stage, and immediately set up a microphone to ask, "Does it taste good?"
The person being questioned smacked their lips and said, "It tastes good, but it's a bit like..."
The young woman immediately removed the microphone, snuggled into her husband's arms, and said happily, "Do you want to be as strong as him?"
This time, the audience laughed and didn't answer. Everyone could see that the man was sallow and thin with a blank expression. He was either squeezed dry or had suffered internal injuries. Moreover, people already knew what his family did for a long time. Now they just treated it as a joke (by the way, the high intelligence of the NPCs in this book is also a major highlight - author's note).
Seeing the lukewarm response, the young woman pushed the man aside, jumped up and shouted, "You all have to let me earn back the money for the stone slab, right?" The crowd below burst into laughter. As she spoke, the woman pushed her two children, each carrying a bag of "power pills," towards the audience, shouting, "Power pills carefully made from tiger penis, deer antler, and python urine, good for him and good for you—one yuan a pill."
As I watched, I said, "Damn, this might be performance art."
The audience, eager for fun, readily opened their wallets. Besides, a dollar doesn't buy much these days; even toilet paper costs 60 cents, so a dollar wouldn't even cover two trips. Those who bought some put a piece in their mouths, nodded, and said, "Delicious, sweet and sour."
Actually, the person on stage didn't finish saying the second half of their sentence: "...it's a bit like hawthorn candy."
By this time, the judges were furious, their faces contorted with rage. They huddled together whispering amongst themselves for a long time, then called the staff up to discuss the matter further, their faces showing utter bewilderment. Then, the sweating host, like a wild dog let loose (for the third time), leaped onto the stage, embarrassed, and said, "After investigation, the organizing committee has discovered that the performance team from earlier is not actually one of our participating teams. Please be careful not to be fooled—security, where's the security?" The audience erupted in laughter.
Four or five security guards scrambled into the field, ready to apprehend the old man and his wife who were packing up their props. The old man brandished a hammer in his hand and gave a slight, cold laugh. The guards shouted in unison, "We respect the elderly and care for the young!" They swerved and tried to grab the man. The man, brandishing a board of spikes, charged at them. One guard, confident in his military-style leather shoes, attempted a flying kick at the board, only to find himself stuck. The other guards took off running, with the man in pursuit. The guard with the spikes stuck could only hop along, using his cane to keep up. Fortunately, the man was quick-witted; he untied his shoelaces as he hopped, eventually managing to free himself.
The people inside and outside the arena were already going wild. Actually, there were countless skilled fighters there; capturing these few would have been a piece of cake. But such an entertaining scene was rare, and no one wanted to disrupt it. Besides, they felt more comfortable seeing the vendor selling "powerful pills" than security guards. Even long after the martial arts tournament ended, when people talked about the martial arts performance competition, many still felt that first place should have been awarded to the vendor selling "powerful pills."
The old man, wielding a hammer, was unmatched and was the first to scale the wall. The man pushed the nail board forward like a policeman suppressing a riot, while the young woman calmly followed behind her husband. Reaching the wall, the man tossed the nail board over and climbed up first, then turned to pull his wife up. The woman, however, was no pushover; ignoring her husband's outstretched hand, she twisted her slender waist and leaped onto the top of the wall. Unexpectedly, this leap caused several items to fall from her arms: a microphone, a strength pill, a handkerchief, a small knife, and small scissors.
She sat gracefully on the wall and whispered to the somewhat dazed male audience member below, "Excuse me, sir."
The audience member hurriedly picked up everything on the ground and handed it to her. She only took what was useful, leaving a pile of "power pills" in the audience member's hand, and said with a smile, "These are for you to eat." Then, with a twist of her waist, she jumped out. After a long while, a military leather shoe was suddenly thrown in from the other side of the wall…
I laughed as I watched, and Lu Junyi and Wu Yong couldn't help but chuckle as well. Ni Siyu laughed so hard she couldn't straighten up. The heroes all gathered around to watch, and then burst into laughter. Suddenly, Hu Sanniang said, "Hey, look at that couple, they look just like Zhang Qing and Second Sister!"
Lin Chong examined him closely and nodded, saying, "He looks about three-tenths like him, and his martial arts are about three-tenths similar." Xiao Rang sighed, "No matter how similar they look, this person is ultimately not that person. It's all in vain." I added background music for him: "So strong he's choking on his breath!"
Xiao Rang's casual remark caused Xiang Yu's expression to change drastically. He staggered a few steps and collapsed into a seat in the front row. However, everyone was too busy watching the spectacle to notice.
The old man and the couple left, but the two children were still dragging their bags, selling "power pills." Two security guards rushed towards them, but the two children weren't in a hurry, continuing to sell as they walked up the steps. As the book explains, the so-called "power pills" were mainly made of hawthorn candy coated with blackberry powder; they were indeed effective at quenching thirst and relieving heat while sitting outside in the sweltering summer. Although the price was a bit high, people bought them in handfuls because it was fun and they knew it wouldn't hurt. By the time the security guards pushed through the crowd and got closer, the two children's bags were empty. The slightly older one clasped his hands together, letting his younger brother climb up the wall using his palms; by then, the first security guard was practically breathing in and out of his sight. Seeing this, Hu Sanniang hurriedly ran outside, saying, "I'll go help them..." Li Kui shouted, "Me too!"
Dong Ping reached out and pulled the two of them back, laughing, "Let's see what they do then?"
Just then, the younger brother on the wall reached out to pull his older brother up, but it was too late. If the older brother tried to climb up now, the security guard would definitely pull him down. The older brother remained calm and composed. The security guard hesitated, unsure whether to approach, when suddenly, the older brother shouted at him in the face, "Pah!"
The security guard was startled and nearly fell backward. If someone hadn't caught him, he would have tumbled down. Taking advantage of this moment, the older brother grabbed his younger brother's hand, climbed up the wall in two steps, laughed twice, and disappeared.
The entire stadium erupted in laughter. The organizing committee gathered the security guards and angrily demanded to know how these people had gotten in.
As I was gleefully watching in that direction, a young member of the organizing committee approached me and said that according to the security guard at the entrance, the people selling "miracle pills" claimed to know Xiaoqiang—that is, me—which is why they let them in. So the organizing committee sent him to ask me if I actually knew those charlatans.
This time it was my turn to be frustrated. I patted him on the shoulder and said, "That's where you guys went wrong. It's obvious I couldn't possibly know them—besides, the security guards didn't even ask the people who came looking for me who were carrying hammers and nail boards?" I added, "Selling miracle pills is one thing, but didn't you let those 300 sweepers go too? That's clearly an oversight on your part."
The young man gaped in surprise: "You don't recognize those either?"
I laughed and said, "Just kidding. From now on, anyone who says they know me will have to give me the secret code before they can come in: the first line is 'May I ask where the tavern is?' and the second line is 'I'll force myself to speak.'"
After he left, I stroked my chin and said, "Strange, how does the guy who sells miracle pills know me?"
Li Bai suddenly appeared with an extremely strange movement, reciting: "Do not worry about having no friends on the road ahead, for who in the world does not know you?"
I said, "It's rare that Brother Taibai didn't drink today."
Li Bai smoothed his sparse white hair, looking like someone who paints traditional Chinese paintings. He chuckled and said, "Yes, I just woke up and came over to see what was going on."
I asked, "How did you get in?"
Li Bai said, "I told the gatekeeper that I am Li Bai."
I breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank goodness you didn't say you knew Xiao Qiang, or you would have gotten a beating." Then I immediately wondered, "You said you were Li Bai and he let you in?"
Li Bai nodded and said, "He also told me not to go to the middle of the field when picking up trash, but I don't know what he meant."
It turns out a kind person mistook him for a mentally ill scavenger. That's not a bad idea; next time you go to the movies, just say you're Nicolas Cage, and the gatekeeper might get scared and let you in.
Just as I was wondering what was going on, Zhu Gui leaned over and said, "Yesterday, when I couldn't get in, I called out your name in the end. There were quite a few people without tickets who wanted to come in, and I thought since we're all fellow martial artists, I brought them all in..."
I said, "So, Xiaoqiang is more useful than the ticket?"
Ni Siyu interjected, "Yes, yesterday when we wanted to get in, the gatekeeper only allowed those with athlete's badges to enter. Later, it was an old man sunbathing at the gate who told us this secret. After that, we told him we knew Xiaoqiang, and he let us in."
...No wonder there are so many people here today! Looks like quite a few people here recognize me.
Li Bai grabbed me and said, "You're very capable, my brother..."
I chuckled dryly and said, "Just call me Xiaoqiang."
"Xiaoqiang, I have a question. What are you all doing with so many people here? You said you'd play polo, but that doesn't seem like it. Also, I saw that guy on the platform holding something in his hand. He smelled it and seemed quite confident. What is that?"
I looked around for a while, still not understanding what he was talking about. Song Qing cautiously said to me, "Is he talking about a microphone?"
I slapped my forehead, realizing Li Bai's meaning, but also remembering a problem: today was the only day Li Bai wasn't drunk, meaning today was his first real encounter with the world, and there were still many things to explain to him—a real headache. I looked around for advice: "Who can go buy me a few bottles of wine?"