Chapitre 273

Liu Xiazhi paused for a moment, then said, "I'm neither a hero nor a bad guy. That's right, I'm a ruthless and ambitious man, a ruthless and ambitious man for life!"

"Let's have an interview. What are your thoughts on transforming from a piece of trash into a powerful and ruthless figure?"

Liu Xiazhi said, "By the way, I haven't asked you yet. Is the strange thing about what you gave me to eat just now?"

I nodded and briefly told him about the allure grass. With someone like that, some things are no longer worth keeping secret.

After listening, Liu Xiazhi was deeply moved and finally sighed, "I finally understand. Kindness is often taken advantage of. If you're going to be a person, you have to be wicked!"

Xiang Yu and I exchanged a bitter smile. This former bandit, who had been bullied for most of his life, seemed to have abandoned any semblance of a proper worldview or philosophy of life.

I asked Liu Xiazhi, "Brother Dao, what are you planning to do in the future? If you can't find a job, you can come with me and do whatever you want. You can't keep living with junk, can you?"

Liu Xiazhi declared with boundless pride, "Where you fall, you get back up!" Pointing to the three men in yellow, red, and green, he added, "See that? That's my new force. See that nightclub? In a month at most, it'll be mine! And this beer stand, it's mine!"

I quickly shook his hand and said, "I wish you success."

Seeing that I had nothing more to say, I stood up and said, "Brother Thief, I'll take my leave then. Anyway, be careful what you do; don't try to scare the police if they need to talk to you one of these days—"

Liu Xiazhi shook hands with me: "Brother, I won't say thank you. Although we are bad people, we all know in our hearts that we will repay those who are good to us tenfold or a hundredfold. That's called 'honor among thieves'—by the way, I was the one who coined that phrase!"

Just as we were about to leave, Liu Xiazhi suddenly noticed the wound on his shoulder. He seemed startled, frantically clutching it and gradually slumped down. I quickly asked, "What happened to him? Did he lose too much blood?"

Xiang Yu said, "Such a little blood is not enough."

Liu Xiazhi looked up and glanced around, then said with difficulty, "What happened to me? Why am I bleeding?" I thought to myself, "Isn't it all because of your show-off act? Look at me, Xiaoqiang, showing off, I punched Duan Tianlang until he vomited blood; and you, you just stuck it in yourself, serves you right!"

Liu Xiazhi plopped down on the ground, bewildered, and asked, "Who am I?"

I rushed forward: "Brother Dao, what's wrong? Aren't you Liu Xia Zhi?"

Liu Xiazhi stared at me intently for a long time before forcing a smile and saying, "Oh, it's Brother Xiaoqiang and Bawang. You haven't left yet?"

"I'm leaving..."

"Oh, be careful on the road—do you still want that bottle?" Liu Xiazhi asked, pointing to our empty beer bottles.

"...No, thank you."

Liu Xiazhi shakily got up from the ground, carefully put the bottles on the table into his woven bag, and finally gave us a humble smile.

When he turned his back to us and left, I noticed that his back was even more hunched over. The imposing aura he had just exuded was completely gone, and he looked like a pathetic, pathetic wretched man again.

I asked, puzzled, "What's wrong with this ruthless hero? Does someone like him faint at the sight of blood?"

Xiang Yu suddenly whispered in my ear, "It's a side effect!"

I suddenly realized. The unprocessed allure herb indeed had a fatal side effect: it would intermittently lose its medicinal properties, causing complete amnesia about his past life. Like Liu Xia Zhi, he was Liu Xia Zhi when he subdued the thugs, but just now, he had transformed back into that trashy Wang, whom anyone could humiliate. The last vestiges of the herb had even made him recognize me and Xiang Yu. If I went to ask him now, he would definitely not remember us, nor would he remember who he was in his past life. Who knows when he might transform back into that great villain…

On the bus, I muttered to myself, "How can someone like Liu Xiazhi train 'Sanmao'? Can he successfully take over the nightclub?"

Xiang Yu rolled his eyes at me and said, "Why are you worrying about him?"

I laughed and said, "I think Brother Dao is pretty good, at least he's not a liar. Why do you always look down on him?"

"Hmph, pinching someone's crotch and pulling their mouth, and you dare to call yourself a hero? If I had known it was him, I would never have taken out the Temptation Grass."

I gave him a disdainful look; this was a classic case of getting a good deal and then complaining. The side effects of the Temptation Herb weren't so easy to accept. Take Bao Jin, for example; he only had a slight personality clash, and he was even aware of it. But if he took the Temptation Herb, it would cause an absolute split personality! If Yu Ji took it, and you were all lovey-dovey right now, and the two of you were undressing, what if at the crucial moment Yu Ji suddenly changed her expression and screamed for rape? Could you explain that?

(End of Volume Two)

※※※

Note: Liu Xia Hui's real name was Zhan Huo. Liu Xia was his fief, and Hui was his posthumous title. People in his time only called him Liu Xia Ji, and his brother would never call him Liu Xia Hui. Furthermore, many historians believe that Liu Xia Zhi (also known as Robber Zhi) is a fictional character.

Volume Three: The Greatest Chaos in History

Chapter One: Wolf Totem

Hello everyone, my name is Xiaoqiang. Would you like to hear my story from the beginning?

I'm so unlucky, really...

Yes, the opening of Volume Two is the same. Back then, if you wanted to listen to it from the beginning, it was over 400,000 words; now, if you still want to listen from the beginning, it's 800,000 words. I'll post a poll in the book review section; those who want to listen from the beginning can create another high-level VIP account and subscribe again.

Last time, I mentioned that the alluring herb that Xiang Yu and I painstakingly obtained awakened Liu Xia Zhi, a notorious bandit throughout history. His brother was none other than Liu Xia Hui, the man who was always praised for his composure in the face of temptation. How could these two brothers be so perverse? I think it can be attributed to the failure of education at that time.

Speaking of education, I've never forgotten my new identity: I'm a proud member of Yucai Education. Honestly, I never imagined I'd end up dedicating myself to education, not even when I ended up in the hospital needing oxygen!

Fei Sankou told me that Yucai School is now directly under the Ministry of Education, and the principal of Yucai has the same status as the principal of Peking University and Tsinghua University. In other words, the principal of Yucai is on par with the mayor of Beijing. However, because the establishment of Yucai was entirely an unintentional mistake, it still doesn't have a formal principal position. I really wanted to help Lao Zhang, who has dedicated his life to education, into this position, but his health simply isn't up to it; Lao Zhang has been discharged from the hospital and is recuperating at home. And I am the legal representative of Yucai, so I, Xiao Qiang, became the head of Yucai—a hoodlum who drives a beat-up old Jinbei van that's long been scrapped, likes to smoke and spit in public, and likes to ask waitresses for their phone numbers after meals, and then ask if he can get a discount without a receipt—a hoodlum who, theoretically, is on par with our provincial governor… well, a hoodlum.

However, Fei Sankou also told me that because Yucai involves certain national secrets and the military, I, as the principal, am destined not to have the same high profile as other university leaders. At most, I'll participate in tree planting days, Lei Feng Day, and attend symposiums on the Party's birthday within the city. But that's enough to give me trouble. My biggest hobby at gatherings of three or more people is sitting at the table smoking and bragging. If I'm only allowed to sit on a chair, I'll fall asleep within 10 seconds. Although we're a small place, it's definitely inappropriate to be asleep while the mayor is speaking. When it comes to foreign affairs, both Qin Hui and Su Wu have rich experience. But one of them, with a glamorous exterior but a belly full of thoughts of betraying the country, makes me really afraid that if I let Qin Hui represent Yucai on some business, he might sell our school to some private entrepreneur at the price of welfare housing while attending a women's congress. Su Wu is straightforward enough, but his image isn't great; he looks like a representative of a homeless person who has been helped by a shelter, giving a speech.

The heroes and the Four Heavenly Kings departed for Singapore last week. According to Wang Yin, he wanted to have another competition with the heroes to see who could win more gold medals. I strongly supported this suggestion. How wonderful! It exudes such striving, competitiveness, and positive energy, like kindergarten children competing to see who has the most red flowers. I shouldn't have said anything more. I said I didn't care how many gold medals they won; you two should just compete to see who causes me the least trouble. As a result, the heroes immediately objected. They shouted that they outnumbered me, and that it wasn't fair to compete like this. They seemed determined to get a few extra spots for causing trouble.

Cao Chong was also traveling with them. He and Cheng Fengshou were inseparable now; he was closer than me, if not closer, than Cao Cao. It would be good for the little guy to see the world. Another family member was Fang La's wife, a simple, hardworking woman who received special respect from the Four Heavenly Kings. I don't know if Fang La hadn't explained things clearly, or if he simply lacked understanding of Singapore, but on the day of departure, Fang's wife carried a large bag filled with orange juice from a military canteen, bread, sausages, and a pile of washed cucumbers and persimmons—she looked like she was going on a company outing. Before leaving, I confiscated half a pack of chewing gum from Hu Sanniang, because I heard there was a written rule against chewing gum in Singapore, which inadvertently saved Liangshan a spot for trouble.

With these people gone, the school suddenly became empty and quiet. Every day, only Xu Delong led the children in morning exercises, and the rest of the time Yan Jingsheng arranged for them to attend academic classes.

As for He Tiandou, there was absolutely no follow-up. I suspect this is related to him losing sight of his strategic objective, which shows that sending my heroes abroad was a wise move. Furthermore, I suspect he's running low on medicine.

So I spent this time peacefully, almost back to my old idle state, spending my days sitting on the first floor of the pawnshop, playing Minesweeper, or watching Ersha and Zhao Bailian wildly fighting with brooms. Liu Bang and Black Widow were inseparable, occasionally helping Fengfeng with her ideas. With the help of Emperor Gaozu's ambitious plans, Fengfeng had already seized 70% of the city's counterfeit clothing market. Fengfeng was content with her modest wealth, but Liu Bang sternly warned her that only by truly strengthening themselves could they achieve true success. So the two began to venture into the legitimate market, buying high-density sewing machines from abroad and hiring a large number of skilled workers to produce clothes of identical quality to the genuine articles—though still counterfeit.

Xiang Yu has been terribly depressed lately, though he often goes for drives in my beat-up Jinbei van. He seems to have given up on his plan to revive Yu Ji. On the way back that day, he only said one thing to me: "This is fate."

As for Qin Shi Huang, his gaming habits are so blatant they could be filmed and uploaded online. Take Super Mario Bros. for example; from the very first game to the very last, he can complete the game without collecting coins or mushrooms, just by running around, and he's doing it in single-shot berserk mode. Those flying turtles and axe-throwing monkeys are completely useless. Sometimes when he plays Contra, you see him shoot when he should shoot, jump when he should jump, while the fat guy plays with his eyes closed. Someone who knows games to that extent loses interest in playing them, so the fat guy has started to get bored and often wanders downstairs swinging his arms. I think it's best to find him something to do soon, otherwise, this kind of person is prone to causing trouble when he's idle. He's always thinking about "unifying" all non-Chinese speakers. To put it nicely, he's an extreme nationalist; in reality, he's a warmonger, and his reasons for starting wars are even more fascist than Hitler's. I suspect he's wandering downstairs looking for living terracotta warriors.

I was sitting downstairs that day when I received a call from Li Shishi, who said that she and Jin Shaoyan had arrived in Kaifeng ahead of the film crew and were preparing to shoot outdoor scenes there.

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