Kapitel 18

Honglian's aged eyes drooped, almost as if she were asleep, but the slight curve at the corner of her mouth was deeply ingrained; upon closer inspection, it was a natural "smiling mouth." Honglian didn't even look at Zhigao. Her son began questioning her about her path to depravity.

"Zhigao," she could only say faintly, "you're all grown up now, don't you know that I've only slept with 'one' man! Otherwise, how could you exist? Perhaps you'll never forgive me, even until you die, but that's up to you."

"Sister"

"Hey, nobody's here, so don't call me sister!"

"No, it's become so fluent, I can't change it," Zhigao probed.

"That guy surnamed Ba, the melon seed Ba, he's been pretty good to you, hasn't he?"

“It’s all business, just small change,” Honglian said. “Don’t talk nonsense.”

Zhigao immediately adopted a cheerful tone, pretending to be happy and relaxed:

"Dark, you're doing this for me, not for yourself, right? Look at you, all that powder on, and it's still so dry and chapped, all that checkered pattern. And in a while, even if you're dressed in flashy clothes, it won't help—"

"Look at your hurtful mouth!"

"No, I'm telling the truth. If you were to serve someone exclusively, think about it, ha, who knows who would benefit? We're all like toads with broken legs—we can't jump very high, and I can't possibly support you."

He was just laughing and joking when Zhigao suddenly felt a pang of sadness. He didn't know what he was talking about. As he spoke, Zhigao slowly turned his face away from the wall.

She turned around, yawned softly, covered her mouth with her hand, and then wiped her eyes with her hand. In this way, she wiped away the tears that were about to secretly well up from her eyes without her noticing or making a sound.

"I'm sleepy." He didn't say anything more.

Honglian couldn't discern anything:

"Want to chat a little longer?" After finally managing to talk with his mother for a while, he suddenly felt sleepy again.

Zhigao's sleep relieved him of a thousand years of worries.

At dusk, Dandan arrived alone.

Zhigao was still asleep. Dandan shook him and called out, "Brother Qiegao, it's dawn, get up!"

His nearly limp limbs began to regain feeling; his back ached, and he didn't know how long he had slept. The sun had already set, but it was still exhausting; his back was soaked with sweat. Zhigao rubbed his eyes and woke up again, thinking a whole day had passed, but it wasn't. Seeing Dandan alone, he asked:

"Where is Huaiyu?"

"And you're still talking? Uncle Tang got angry and scolded you, and Huaiyu cleaned up his mess, so why didn't you eagerly follow him home?"

Upon hearing this, Zhigao's eyes and nose furrowed in worry, making him look like a withered old man, filled with endless sorrow. How could this be resolved?

He had no choice but to change his sweaty shirt, put on a vest, and lead Dandan out. Turning back to Honglian, he said:

"Sister, I'm leaving."

Honglian watched as the young woman became so close and affectionate with her son, a pang of jealousy rising in her heart. Who was she really? Did he become so restless the moment she arrived? The young man, a handsome fellow with a knack for the ways of the world, was nimble and agile, leaping out of the alleyway in just a few steps. Honglian watched the two walk away.

"Your sister is so strange, even when she's not smiling, she looks like she's dazed. Um, she's staring at me, so blankly. How come your sister looks so old? Then isn't your mother even older? You don't have a mother, right?"

"Dandan—"

"What?"

"That's all." Zhigao thought for a moment and said hastily, afraid that if he hesitated, he wouldn't dare to say it again: "Dandan, I'd better tell you. I can't keep it from you any longer. You'll find out sooner or later anyway, so I'm going to make it clear—"

"Speak up, you lousy ton, say it."

“Fine, I’ll tell you.” Zhigao bravely went all out: “That was my mother.”

"Oh? That's strange, so old."

“She’s my sister, because—she’s in a ‘shady’ business, and she calls me sister… I’ve called her sister ever since. Just pretend you don’t know, it’s for my sake. Huaiyu is the same way.”

"OK."

"You agreed?"

"Okay, I won't tell anyone. I won't look down on you either, don't worry."

"Dandan, you're so kind."

"I have even better ones!"

Zhigao felt relieved, lighter, and forgot the pain. He thought he had kept the secret, but in a place like Beiping, who wouldn't know? He just didn't expose it. Yet, Zhigao still felt like he had a little rabbit in his arms, his heart pounding day and night. —Was it also because she was Dandan?

Now that I've said it, I'm not afraid anymore.

"Why aren't you with Uncle Huang? Where's your brother Huang? Where are you now? How long have you been staying here?!"

"Ugh," Dandan stamped her foot, "I have to tell you again! I just told Huaiyu everything, and now I have to tell you all over again. How tiring!" Then she threw a tantrum, just like when she was little: "I'm not telling you."

"Tell me?" Zhigao teased her, as if pleading, "I'll tell you everything."

It turned out that Dandan had gone back to her uncle's hometown in Tianjin. Seeing that his son was no longer useful, Uncle Huang gave up his wandering ways and only did small business. Although he loved Dandan, the girl was not his own flesh and blood, and he could not take care of her for life. Fortunately, there were people in the trade who also set up poles to perform for money. Even Master Nan and his group, who were also from the same lineage, saw that Dandan came from a respectable family and promised to take care of her. So they joined the Miao family and traveled from Tianjin to places like Wuqing, Xianghe, Tongxian, Daxing, and other big and small places. Now they had arrived in Beiping and first found a place to stay, living in the Yang family compound, before starting to set up their stalls on Tianqiao.

Dandan then told Zhigao about her background in one go.

“You were originally Huang Dandan, but now you’ve become Miao Dandan. What happened? You’re regressing more and more as you live. Are you still a seedling? Before long, you’ll turn into a seed and then die,” Zhigao said.

Dandan sneered and stopped, refusing to leave.

I wonder what the cause and effect were. Dandan, her original name was Peony. "The peony is originally the flower of Luoyang, Langshan Ridge is my home, if you ask my name and surname, my given name is Luoyang, the flower." — Dandan had no home, no surname, and was unworthy of her name. The king of flowers, now adrift, not yet fully grown, already her roots are shaking and her leaves are swaying. Really, where will she take root? Will she live or die? So young, only seventeen, no one can fathom the mysteries of fate. Zhigao was intimidated by her willfulness — like a cat holding back its anger. He knew it was all an act.

"Don't be angry. I keep saying 'death' to bring good luck. If I say it often, it'll be less likely to die," Zhigao hurriedly explained.

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