Xu Zhengyang was puzzled, thinking to himself, "If I had the ability to go abroad and act arrogantly, would I need to be here rambling on about all this nonsense?"
Volume 4, City God Chapter 171: It's Good to Cry It Out
Sixteen years ago.
Li Bingjie is six years old. She is upright, innocent, and carefree, enjoying a lively and playful childhood.
Going back further, in that innocent child's memory, her parents were like shadows—lovable and respectable, yet somewhat frightening. They rarely appeared before the child, sometimes kind and gentle, sometimes stern and terrifying... Therefore, Li Bingjie preferred to rely on her grandmother, who had raised her, every day, acting spoiled, laughing, and jumping around.
Although she envied the other children in kindergarten who had their parents pick them up and accompany them, and sometimes even come to the kindergarten to play with them, she always had her kind grandmother to look after her. She knew that she also had parents and an older brother, but they were rarely together.
In Li Bingjie's memory, her grandmother was an ordinary, home-loving old woman with a gentle temperament and a kind, amiable smile on her face. She didn't work or have a busy schedule; her most important task was raising and educating her granddaughter.
Perhaps, to some extent, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the elderly woman and her granddaughter depend on each other for survival.
Due to her unique family environment and innate personality, Li Bingjie was somewhat withdrawn and a little insecure from that time onwards. She didn't like playing with other children in kindergarten. More often than not, she preferred to focus her energy on books or sit quietly by herself, waiting for her grandmother and the family driver to pick her up.
When she was a little over five years old, her grandmother took her to the countryside, saying it was her grandmother's hometown. There, she saw many kind and gentle adults and elders, their smiling faces appearing one after another before her. At that time, she didn't know that many of those smiles were mixed with other things, such as flattery, respect, and envy. It was during that trip to the countryside that she discovered the children there were much better than her kindergarten classmates.
In kindergarten, her classmates would clap their hands and show off the gifts their parents bought them, or tell her how good their parents were to them at home; her classmates would ask her why her parents didn't come to pick her up. "Do you have parents? Do they not like you?"... In Li Bingjie's young heart, there was also self-esteem, which led to some feelings of inferiority, and thus she became somewhat withdrawn and avoided others.
In the countryside, she found that the children her age were very friendly. They would curiously approach her and pull her along to play shuttlecock, jump rope, hide-and-seek, play house, and have snowball fights. No one would ask her where her parents were, and no one would show off any gifts or toys in front of her. Even when some children pointed at her and laughed at her for being clumsy, getting caught in hide-and-seek, or not jumping rope well enough to be the one swinging the rope, Li Bingjie had a lot of fun and was very happy.
From then on, her kind and gentle grandmother often took her to that village to play with some of the other children.
And her mother, like a shadow, would occasionally appear, and when she saw her playing happily by herself in a game she had learned from the countryside, she would sternly scold her; her father, on the other hand, would stand solemnly by, saying a few words in her defense… and then her parents would argue, a quarrel that, in Li Bingjie's eyes, was utterly unreasonable. Whenever this happened, her grandmother would angrily take her away, not wanting her to see her parents arguing.
Li Bingjie didn't understand why her parents were always arguing, and why they couldn't laugh like other people.
She loves seeing people smile at her, loves her grandmother's always kind and doting smile, loves her grandfather who she sees less often but more frequently than her parents, and who always smiles kindly and hugs her and plays with her. She also loves the older boy who occasionally comes with her parents, holds her little hand, tells her stories, and asks, "Did anyone bully you at kindergarten? Tell your brother, and he'll go fight them!"
She increasingly enjoyed going to the countryside with her grandmother, where she would play with her friends, running and jumping until her pretty little shoes were covered in mud, turning her pretty little face into a messy mess... Then she would mischievously look at the driver uncle who came with her and her grandmother, and Aunt Wu, who were nervous but helplessly smiling.
The summer when I was six years old.
It was a drizzly Sunday afternoon. The driver drove out of the village that had brought Li Bingjie so much joy, onto the highway, and headed home.
Everything seemed calm, no different from usual.
However, accidents always happen in the midst of people's peaceful lives. As the driver slowed down at an intersection, waiting for several tractors to pass on the other side of the road, a large tanker truck sped from behind. A screeching sound of brakes rang out instantly, and before anyone could react, a violent impact resounded, and the car lurched violently! Then it shattered!
In that instant, Grandma pulled Li Bingjie, who was sitting side by side in the back seat, into her arms and shielded her with her body.
Blood covered little Li Bingjie. She stared in terror at her grandmother's face, contorted with pain, her eyes wide and mouth agape... Why had her usually kind and gentle grandmother become so terrifying?
Later, she learned that her grandmother had passed away.
Grandpa flew into a rage at home, giving Mom and Dad a severe scolding and blaming them. Standing on the stairs, Li Bingjie watched the scene unfold in the living room below and listened to Grandpa's words. In her young heart, she seemed to vaguely understand that Mom and Dad were responsible for Grandma's death, and that she herself was also responsible.
If her parents had taken better care of her on a regular basis, or even just spoken a few more words and smiled more often whenever they saw her, she wouldn't have felt lonely and inferior in kindergarten, and she wouldn't have been pestering her grandma to go to the countryside every day. And if her grandma hadn't taken her to the countryside to make her happy, how could she have been killed in a car accident?
From that moment on, Li Bingjie's personality completely changed; she became aloof, indifferent, and devoid of any emotion.
In the years that followed, her mother and father took her to many places and saw many doctors, trying various methods to treat her psychological trauma and symptoms.
However, she continued to resist and refuse to cooperate.
All alone, she was a pitiful sight to behold. She finished elementary school, and despite her exceptional intelligence, her academic performance was outstanding. Her personality remained unchanged.
When it was time for her to start junior high school, she suddenly asked to go to school in the village where she had played as a child.
The parents initially disagreed, but the grandfather firmly agreed, arguing that the child hadn't made any demands all these years and rarely spoke more than a few words to them, so why not let her go to school there? The doctor, upon learning of this, also suggested giving it a try, hoping it might open up her closed-off heart.
It was in that ordinary rural middle school that Li Bingjie met Xu Zhengyang, her deskmate.
Li Bingjie remembers the scene of the first time she met Xu Zhengyang very clearly.
Xu Zhengyang was wearing a white checkered short-sleeved shirt that a rural woman had cut and made herself, a pair of blue coarse cloth pants, a pair of brand-new cloth shoes, a yellow-green schoolbag slung across his shoulder, and a short crew cut.
When the teacher led Li Bingjie into the classroom, Xu Zhengyang was standing next to the seats by the window in the third row, shouting loudly at the students behind him: "Hey, Gangchuan, you're in the back again, guys, each of you has a desk... Chaojiang, Chaojiang, hurry up, throw me the pencil sharpener, I'm carving my name on the desk..."
Upon seeing the teacher enter, Xu Zhengyang was extremely embarrassed and sat down with an awkward smile, glancing at Li Bingjie standing next to the teacher.
The teacher glared at Xu Zhengyang with an unfriendly expression, then led Li Bingjie to Xu Zhengyang's seat and said, "Xu Zhengyang, come sit inside. This is your new deskmate."
Xu Zhengyang, without any hesitation, immediately moved a considerable distance inside, leaning against the wall. At the same time, he winked and made a face at the guys behind him, clearly saying: See? Even if I have a deskmate, she's a pretty girl…
However, Xu Zhengyang did not take the initiative to strike up a conversation as everyone expected.
This guy is shy, sorry.
After the first class ended, Xu Zhengyang finally spoke his first words: "Hey, make way, I'm going over..."
Li Bingjie didn't even look at Xu Zhengyang, got up and moved aside. Xu Zhengyang went out and laughed and joked with a group of his buddies outside the classroom.
When the class bell rang, Xu Zhengyang ran back to his desk, only to find Li Bingjie already sitting on the inside of the desk.
"Hey, that's my seat inside," Xu Zhengyang reminded him.
Li Bingjie ignored him.
"Fine, sit inside if you want." Xu Zhengyang pouted and sat down.
...
Everything was ordinary and uneventful.
Xu Zhengyang and Li Bingjie both remember what happened afterward very clearly.
The office on the second floor of Gu Xiang Xuan, which belonged to Xu Zhengyang, was very quiet.
Wearing an elegant long dress, Li Bingjie sat on the sofa with her eyelids slightly lowered, making her long, curved eyelashes appear even longer. She lowered her head and tilted it to the side, looking at the plate of clean, still damp fruit on the coffee table with a hint of shyness.
Well, even someone as eccentric as Li Bingjie couldn't stand Xu Zhengyang staring at a girl's face for over an hour. How could she possibly be comfortable with that?
Finally, Xu Zhengyang sat up straight, a faint smile on his face, a hint of wistful reminiscence in his eyes, and said softly, "Bingjie, do you know? Before I started school, there was no kindergarten, and it wasn't called preschool. We called it the 'Yuhong Class' back then. We went to Yuhong Class for a year when we were six years old, or rather, five years old in Western years, and then started first grade at six..."
Li Bingjie then raised her head, her star-like eyes remaining as ethereal and indifferent as ever.
"Close your eyes, relax, it'll be fine in a bit, just think of it as a nap..." Xu Zhengyang instructed softly, his eyes gentle and amiable.
Li Bingjie stared wide-eyed at Xu Zhengyang.
"Okay, no rush, let's wait a bit longer." Xu Zhengyang smiled and gently sent a wisp of his divine sense to soothe Li Bingjie's somewhat flustered mind.
Everyone knows that Li Bingjie suffers from a mental illness, which is not good; however, because of her illness, she rejects any mental communication or contact with others, and does not think there is anything wrong with what she is doing.
Previously, Xu Zhengyang respected Li Bingjie and therefore didn't want to force himself to explore her inner world, much less use his supernatural abilities to break down the barriers that closed off her heart. But just as Elder Li said, this was an illness, and if it could be cured, it would be good for her. However, Xu Zhengyang ultimately couldn't convince himself to forcibly unlock and decipher her consciousness and inner world without Li Bingjie's consent.
So when Li Bingjie came to Gu Xiangxuan today and sat in Xu Zhengyang's office, Xu Zhengyang gently asked her questions and advised her to accept treatment.
After hesitating for a long time, Li Bingjie finally nodded gently.
That's why Xu Zhengyang stared intently at her face until she became shy, lowered her head, and turned away in embarrassment.
Now, Xu Zhengyang understands Li Bingjie's past, knows the heartbreaking stories buried deep within her heart, and understands the origin of the barrier that closed her heart. However, he still needs Li Bingjie's consent before he can truly let go of his burdens and earnestly uncover the normal human emotions that Li Bingjie has suppressed in her heart, thus removing that barrier.
This was not difficult for Xu Zhengyang. Back when he was a wandering judge, he could travel at night with his divine sense and restore Xing Yufen, a drug trafficker who had gone insane from a mental breakdown, to normal overnight. Now that he was the City God, doing this was indeed not difficult for him.
However, I had some concerns and doubts in my heart.
Finally, Li Bingjie nodded slightly, closed her eyes, her long eyelashes resting on her eyelids, her expression revealing neither relaxation nor ease. She leaned gently against the back of the sofa, her hands lightly clasped together on her lower abdomen.
Xu Zhengyang calmed himself down a bit, and then his consciousness once again entered Li Bingjie's deeply hidden inner world.
The consciousness flowed merrily like a clear stream, like a gentle brook, through the deep ravines of the heart that had been dormant for many years, breaking the beautiful yet lifeless stillness and depth of the underworld.
The trickling stream quickly flowed into the countless ravines, meandering and filling them, smoothing them out, with tiny waves opening and then disappearing into the stream. The water gathered more and more, gradually becoming the force of a great river, its waves surging and washing away the dust and grime of years past, cleansing away the grime and making this already beautiful and serene inner world even more renewed, full of vitality, seemingly bursting with life.
However, the waves crashing against the gullies inevitably stirred up some spectacular splashes.
In reality, Li Bingjie's usually calm and jade-like face trembled slightly, and a string of crystal-clear tears welled up in her tightly closed eyes. Her eyelashes were wet and stuck to her eyelids, and the tears slid down her cheeks, one drop after another, gradually forming a line.
Xu Zhengyang got up and walked over, sitting down next to Li Bingjie. His eyes were gentle and his expression calm as he looked at Li Bingjie's delicate body trembling slightly.
"Waaah, waaah..." Soft sobs came from Li Bingjie's delicate nostrils.
Soon, Li Bingjie opened her eyes, turned to her side and threw herself into Xu Zhengyang's arms, hugging him tightly. She burst into tears, crying hysterically, crying uncontrollably, crying with utter despair.
The office door was suddenly pushed open, and Li Chengzhong stared at the sofa with a look of astonishment.
Li Bingjie buried her beautiful face in Xu Zhengyang's white shirt-clad arms, her delicate body trembling uncontrollably as she cried loudly.
Xu Zhengyang gently patted her back, smiling, without saying a word.
Cry, just cry it out, and you'll feel better.
Volume 4, City God Chapter 172: Unbelievable
When Li Bingjie left the office, her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed.
Hmm, her hair was slightly disheveled, her expression a little nervous, very charming, very beautiful, very shy...
Even after she finally stopped crying and blushed as she got up from Xu Zhengyang's arms, she only softly and weakly said, "Thank you." Then, as always, she didn't say anything more and got up to walk out. But Xu Zhengyang was very gratified. He knew that things had to be done slowly.
You can't expect a young woman whose heart has been closed for over a decade to suddenly open up and start jumping around laughing and talking. She needs time to adapt and accept things. At least now, she no longer has that previous aversion to words and emotions. Look at those eyes—so watery, looking at Xu Zhengyang with gratitude, tenderness, sweetness, shyness… a jumbled mess. Where is that ethereal, aloof, otherworldly demeanor she used to have?
As Xu Zhengyang escorted Li Bingjie to the entrance of Gu Xiang Xuan, watching her bend over to get into the car, he suddenly remembered something and hurriedly called out, "Hey, Bingjie, don't sell me out!"
Li Bingjie paused for a moment, then blushed and nodded, "Mm."
After getting into the car, Li Bingjie smiled brightly at Xu Zhengyang through the open window, her smile as beautiful as a hundred flowers in bloom. She raised her hand and waved, saying, "Goodbye."
"Goodbye." Xu Zhengyang waved with a smile, feeling a little wistful.
Is it good or bad?
Li Bingjie, being exceptionally intelligent, naturally understood the meaning behind Xu Zhengyang's words, "Don't sell me out!" It was simply a way of saying, "I told you everything about your past personality and your unhealthy ways. Now that you're better, don't go back and tell everyone." Her grandfather still doesn't know, and will never imagine, that I am actually the one standing behind me, supporting me—someone who should have only existed in the unseen realm—a god.
After all, Li Bingjie's status was what it was, so Yao Chushun always came out to see her off whenever she came to and left Guxiangxuan.
Seeing Li Bingjie's expression and demeanor so different from before and when she first arrived, Yao Chushun was filled with suspicion. He leaned close to Xu Zhengyang and whispered, "Damn it, you didn't do anything to that girl in the office..."
Xu Zhengyang was slightly taken aback, but quickly understood what Yao Chushun meant by the second half of his sentence. He laughed and scolded, "Damn, what are you thinking?"
"Why are that girl's eyes all red from crying?" Yao Chushun stared with his triangular eyes, his gaze and expression showing not only doubt but also a hint of admiration.
"How old are you?"
"I'm not being disrespectful to my elders, I'm just reminding you, kid! Her status is different, don't be ignorant!" Yao Chushun suddenly realized that the last word of his sentence was a bit ambiguous, so he quickly stopped.
The innocent Xu Zhengyang was completely unaware of the lewd thoughts running through Yao Chushun's mind. He said in a low, serious voice, "Don't make wild guesses. She was just talking about some things from her school days, and she was feeling a bit sentimental... Think about it, Li Chengzong is standing right outside the door..." Xu Zhengyang paused, thinking to himself, "Do I need to explain anything to this shameless old man?"
“Yeah, that’s right, you don’t have the guts!” Yao Chushun nodded vigorously. “Damn it, don’t let your temper get the better of you and cause a huge disaster, ruining our Gu Xiang Xuan shop and everyone in it.”
"Nonsense..." Xu Zhengyang was too lazy to pay attention to Yao Chushun anymore and turned to walk into the store.
Yao Chushun stood at the door, pondering. It might not be such a bad thing after all. If it really worked out, then Gu Xiangxuan's future would be incredibly bright! As for whether it would work out or whether they were a good match, Yao Chushun shrugged, grinding his fist on the ball and muttering, "In this world, there's nothing Xu Zhengyang can't do."