The most foolish in the world

Chapter 42

My hair was dry, and she happily played with it. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, and she ran back to her room to bring out a dressing box. I had a vague sense of foreboding. I remembered seeing Bao Bao once being dressed up by a group of gossipy women while on a mission, with two pigtails sticking up on her head and a red dot on her forehead. That look made me laugh for three days and three nights.

The first day I laughed willingly, but the next two days the baby got angry and drugged me.

Fortunately, this woman's taste was clearly not as vulgar as that of the gossipy old women.

She led me out, and I wore my hair in the same men's style, with the same cloud-patterned wooden hairpin as hers. We walked side by side, and I wondered what others would think of us. Would they mistake us for mother and son? Or siblings? In any case, we're family, right?

Thinking this, I felt very happy and secretly took her hand.

This time she didn't kick me, she just smiled and pinched my cheek, affectionately calling me "little devil".

The phrase "using one's looks to serve others" popped into my mind again. Alas, are even bodyguards destined to sell their bodies?

That night, I received a message from Yingge via carrier pigeon, instructing me to stay by this woman's side and leave Gao Yi'ai entirely in Bao Bao's care. So I stayed without a second thought. She named me Fan Bing, Fan being the same as her.

In that instant, I completely forgot about the Shadow Master and called her Master.

My master quickly discovered my abilities and naturally entrusted me with all matters. I also discovered that although my master was not good at taking care of herself, she was very good at making money. She was the Joyful Goddess Shopkeeper who caused a sensation throughout the city upon her arrival; she was the author who pioneered the genre of romance novels in the imperial dynasty; she was even an unprecedented first-rank imperial convict woman in the history of the dynasty.

I love hugging my owner's leg because it's how we first met, and it's a testament to my belief in her.

Unfortunately, my owner didn't seem to think that way. She kicked me away without hesitation every time. Gradually, she seemed to stop being fooled by my appearance and reverted to her original attitude, speaking harshly, pinching and scolding me. But I was still happy; after all, hitting and scolding are a sign of affection.

Besides, I can't rely on my looks to serve people for the rest of my life.

My days were filled with clinging to someone's coattails and being kicked aside, fulfilling and happy. There was only one thing I was very unhappy about. My master had too many admirers around her. That Zhou Zice guy was one thing, at least he didn't come knocking. But those little brats next door were too much. One or two of them were always clinging to my master, calling her "Boss Fan." What, were they trying to steal my position as her number one follower?

Hmph, I've mastered the art of crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide. You greenhorns, stay out of my way!

Four years passed just like that. During that time, I hardly thought about the mission, and the Shadow Pavilion seemed to have forgotten about me as well. In the end, Emperor Yuanzu burned down the Jade Palace and committed suicide, and my mission seemed to have been abandoned without a trace.

It doesn't matter. I've already decided on my master, and I'm happy not to be a shadow guard, so I won't be sent to a foreign land for a political marriage when I grow up.

Just when I thought my happy life with my master would continue like this forever, an invincible villain appeared! This villain is insidious, cunning, despicable, shameless, vile, and utterly despicable—worse than a beast! My master was too naive and kind, completely deceived. I am heartbroken by this wicked man! I wholeheartedly protected my master, but who knew that he would scold me for that villain's sake! And even demand an apology from me!

I exposed the bad man's evil deeds, but the owner casually said that she knew about them.

She knew perfectly well, yet she still believed him and still wanted me to apologize...

I was both shocked and panicked. Usually, when I cried, made a scene, or even threatened suicide, my owner's expression was always a mix of amusement, exasperation, and helplessness. But this time, she looked at me so seriously, demanding that I apologize to that bad person, as if she would abandon me if I didn't...

I was angry that she yelled at me for someone else, and I was afraid that she would leave me for someone else, so I ran away.

I walked down the street, and everyone called me Little Fan, asking where my master was. I was afraid they would find out that my master didn't want me anymore. I didn't know where to go. Finally, I came to a place with red walls and green tiles, and suddenly remembered that this was the palace, where my only friend lived.

I sneaked into the central palace to find the baby, and the baby recognized me at a glance. It was worth it for me to have missed his chubby face for so many years.

I pinched him again, but he coldly said, "Believe me or not, I'll sentence you to death."

I believe you, I really believe you, but I'll still pinch you. Anyway, I'm skilled in martial arts, so I can escape your punishment. Besides, I'm still full of resentment. Why did you pretend to be an orphan and deceive my feelings when you clearly have parents (you really didn't pretend, you just misunderstood...)? Why hasn't your master abandoned you even though my master doesn't want me anymore?

Yes, I saw Gao Yi'ai come in with a memorial to him. The two of them were exchanging glances as if no one else was around, clearly trying to provoke me!

One has a deadpan, round face, the other has an eternally icy expression. Hmph.

I ate all the snacks on his table, rolled around on his bed, and slept in every room of the Empress's palace before finally leaving. The guards were no match for me, but the shadow guards who guarded the Empress's palace were quite skilled. After a few moves, I recognized the shadow guard Twelve, who had taught me martial arts. I quickly withdrew my hands, covered my face, and tried to slip away, but was kicked in the butt.

Master said, "You little bastard who betrays his master and ancestors!"

I continued to play dead, shaking my head and replying, "Sir, have you mistaken me for someone else? My surname is Fan, given name Bing, courtesy name..."

Pshaw! Why would I imitate that bad guy's opening line!

Unable to come up with any words, I ended up getting a scolding from my master before being kicked out of the palace. I felt like I had the worst day ever.

After leaving the palace, I had nowhere to go. Wandering around, I eventually returned to the painted alley. I told myself I was just here to take a look, just one last time. It wouldn't be good if the owner found out I was gone and was heartbroken enough to commit suicide. If I stayed here, I could still save him in time.

After waiting for ages, I finally saw my owner return and heard her call me, but I held back.

Seeing her searching for me inside, I continued to hold back. I had to let her know how important I was!

Later, she sat blankly in front of the door. I couldn't hold back anymore and was about to go out when that big bad guy appeared again!

He...he...he actually took advantage of the situation! Showing his true colors now, huh? Showing his true colors now! So shameless, worse than an animal! Wait, Master, what are you doing? What? You're sick and gone, leaving you with only him? What? You need him to take care of you? I'm still here, still here! Take care of me!

Hey, you beast, let go of my master!

The author has something to say: Writing Fan Bing's confession went so smoothly, it was like writing a diary. I typed over a thousand words in half an hour last night, and continued typing until noon today, and here it is...

A wedding full of twists and turns at age 28

Throughout history, the Spring Festival has always been a popular time for weddings, largely because people have the sentiment that "sow a seed in spring and reap a child in autumn." However, at this time, it is late summer, and as soon as the paulownia leaves fall and the historian announces "autumn has arrived," the capital is abuzz with excitement as two weddings rush to take place at this time.

Former lovers, now strangers. The tyrant marries the Xu family's daughter, while the frivolous woman marries the sorcerer.

The fact that these two marriages happened to be only one day apart makes one wonder if there were any complicated twists and turns in their story.

"In addition, there is another person whose popularity is in no way inferior to that of the former lovers, and that is none other than the most beautiful woman in the capital, Mr. Gongye!"

Inside the Xiaoyao Teahouse, Old Zhang was enthusiastically discussing the most prominent figures in the capital recently. When he spoke of Gongye Bai, his face lit up with excitement, and he seemed several years younger. "This Huanxi Palace has gone from being deserted to bustling with visitors, all thanks to you, sir! Speaking of you, you were the late emperor's tutor and the current crown prince's tutor. You served three emperors and single-handedly raised two virtuous crown princes. Your contributions will be remembered for generations to come!"

"In the past, when the Duke of Zhenguo rebelled, at midnight, the late emperor was young and trapped in the besieged city. How critical the situation was! Yet, you, with your elegant demeanor, arrived under the moonlight, and with a few words, a hundred thousand troops were annihilated!"

Gongye Bai's heroic deeds could be recounted for three days and three nights, but that's not the point. Today's focus is—