Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn

Chapter 48

Shen Zexuan continued, "I heard that you came to Prince Qing's mansion when you were six years old, and it has been eight years now. Does no one know that you are a girl?"

Did you hear about it or did you investigate it secretly? To what extent did you investigate?

I shook my head and said, "No, the young prince already knew last month, so my brother has naturally known all along." There's also Jiang Ming, but he's no longer in the palace. My concern is that Shen Zexuan's discerning eyes immediately recognized me as a woman. With so many people in the palace, is there anyone else who can tell? The only people close to me are Song Zhixuan and Lin Zhao. They've been with me for so long; even if my body has changed, they probably wouldn't notice.

"Oh?" Shen Zexuan raised an eyebrow. "Yu knows?"

I nodded, and Shen Zexuan didn't continue on this topic.

There were two knocks on the door, and then Guangqi and the waiter placed the dishes on the table one by one. The two of them then went out silently, presumably Guangqi was waiting outside the door.

The food at Qiufeng Garden was decent, but only considered modestly well-off; after all, there was a difference between servants and masters. In this world, my life at the Qiyun Marquis's mansion was only average; after being kicked out, I ate my aunt's lovingly prepared meals every day. Today's meal at Shen Zexuan was the best I'd had in ten years, and thinking about it made me feel a little sad.

The menu wasn't extensive, but every dish was exquisite. Shen Zexuan explained that the Drunken Duck was the restaurant's signature dish, made with "Wugui" wine, a secret brew from Liuzuiju, and only available at this establishment. It tasted delicious, but I found myself longing even more for Quanjude's roast duck, something I'll never be able to experience in this lifetime.

After the meal, Shen Zexuan swaggered back to the Third Prince's residence with Guangqi and me. I had to admire the brilliance of his arrangement.

The courtyard where Shen Zexuan lived was named "Tianya" (End of the Earth). I was very puzzled and looked at him with a question. He smiled slightly, stepped over the threshold, and went inside. Facing the courtyard gate was a small living room. After passing through the living room and going around two corridors, Shen Zexuan led me into a room. Along the way, we did not encounter a single servant.

Shen Zexuan gestured for me to sit down first, then went into the inner room. A few bells rang out from inside before he came out. A moment later, a pretty young girl in a pink dress entered, curtsied to Shen Zexuan, and asked her to bring hot water for me to wash my face.

After washing my face, Shen Zexuan pulled me to sit in front of the dressing table. I looked up and saw that I was dressed in women's clothes in the mirror. I was a little different from myself last night. Although the clothes were still rather rough and I was not wearing any makeup, I still had a touch of freshness and tranquility that was unique to young girls.

Shen Zexuan picked up an ivory comb and gently combed my hair that hung down behind my head, a tender feeling quietly welling up in his heart. Nightingale was older than me, and her hairstyle was no longer the double-ring style of a young girl who had not yet reached marriageable age, while I, it seemed, had skipped the double-ring style in this life.

"Is your coming-of-age ceremony next year?" Shen Zexuan asked, looking at me in the mirror. I saw a faint blush on my face.

I nodded gently, feeling that I had never been so innocent before. After using this body for so long, my heart seemed to have become much younger (the innocence I had as a child was just an act), especially when it came to love.

Shen Zexuan stroked my hair and said softly, "Once I learn how to tie my hair, I will carefully comb it for you."

It was so emotional, I could barely handle it, so I turned slightly to the side, blushing as I nodded.

Fortunately, Shen Zexuan didn't continue with his sentimental musings. He took my hand and led me towards the door. Most of the flowers and trees in the courtyard had withered, leaving only a single white plum tree in bloom, adorning the bleak winter scene. Shen Zexuan glanced at it and said, "This place is very beautiful in spring and summer. You are welcome to come and see."

I nodded.

As I continued on my way, a clear, familiar tinkling sound drifted on the wind. I looked in the direction of the sound and saw a string of wind chimes hanging from the eaves of a two-story pavilion—the very seashell wind chimes that Zinuo and I had made.

I asked Shen Zexuan who lived there, and a faint blush rose to his jade-like face. Looking at Feng Ling, he said, "No one's there for now. It's reserved for the future princess consort." I then fell silent.

After we had almost finished touring "Tianya", Shen Zexuan told me that there were actually many places in the mansion that were beautiful even in winter. However, he was certain that this was the only place in the entire prince's mansion where no one was watching. Therefore, he only dared to let me travel here in my true form. If I wanted to go to other places, I still had to change into Nightingale's face.

I smiled faintly, but a deep sorrow welled up inside me. These princes, who seemed so glamorous, had to be so careful about their private lives; I was even more of a shadow of my former self. The thought that I was also keeping an eye on the Second Prince's residence almost every day made me feel utterly terrible.

As dusk approached, Shen Zexuan summoned another girl named Ye Xue to help me change my face back to resemble Nightingale, and then saw me off. Halfway there, the two parted ways. Shen Zexuan took Guangqi to an antique shop called "Ruyi Lou," while I returned to "Cui Xin Fang" to wait for Nightingale to come back and change.

Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn. Chapter 35

Chapter word count: 3276 Update time: 09-08-02 12:44

With the nourishment of love, each day becomes something to look forward to, and time seems to fly by.

It wasn't possible to meet with Shen Zexuan every day, especially now that it was the end of the year and he was even busier. Previously, Shen Zexuan, like the other princes, attended court every day to listen to government affairs, but he didn't hold any official position. Now, the emperor had suddenly appointed him to a post in the Ministry of Revenue, which was probably another power-balancing measure that Mr. Qi and the others had mentioned.

I counted on my fingers; it had been three days since we last met. If we had a date, he would send someone to leave a mark on the tree I stayed in—one flower meant we'd meet that day, two flowers meant we'd meet the next day. I'd then happily run to "Cui Xin Fang" to wait for him. Today I went to check the tree, but there was still no mark indicating an appointment. Was he that busy?

Aside from our first date when I showed my face, I always wore Nightingale's face on every subsequent date, ostensibly "just in case," and also to make it easier for Shen Zexuan and me to appear together anywhere. However, in reality, we usually just wandered around the Holy City or stayed at his residence, because we were short on time and couldn't go anywhere else.

When the two of us were on "Tianya", Shen Zexuan would often tell me about his childhood. At that time, he seemed much more approachable than the otherworldly figure I usually saw. I sat down beside him with my knees drawn up, listening and staring at him in a daze: I was growing to like this guy more and more.

Shen Zexuan told me about the first time he saw me. He said that he was entrusted by the Imperial Concubine to visit Princess Qing. Then Shen Haoyu said that the plum blossoms in the Prince's mansion were in bloom and that we could go see them together. Just as we were about to go, a servant came to report that something had come up, so Shen Haoyu told Shen Zexuan to go see the plum blossoms first and that he would come back later. Then Shen Zexuan saw me sleeping under the plum tree. He said that at that time, my head, face, and body were covered with a thin layer of snow, but I was sleeping soundly, dreaming about something, with a sweet smile on my face. Although I was dressed as a man, that smile was one that no man could ever smile like. He said that perhaps it was that pure smile that moved him, so he knelt down to brush the snowflakes away from me, and even took off his own fox fur coat to give to me, and then knelt there quietly watching me. Not long after, I woke up and asked him if he was some kind of "plum tree spirit." He found it amusing; everyone always said he was beautiful, but no one had ever described him like I had, with such an innocent expression. So, he uncontrollably kissed me, swearing that it was definitely his first kiss and that he used to look down on women. I cursed inwardly, "Sister, I'm much older than you, don't use 'innocent' to describe me," but I also felt even more sorry for this lonely child who grew up in the palace. In comparison, Shen Haoyu was much happier.

One afternoon, we sat side by side on the veranda, the cold wind blowing, and we could hear the wind chimes tinkling from the neighboring attic. He let me lie down on his lap. If it were a bright spring day instead of the snowy winter, this scene would have been quite romantic, but now it looked more like two people trying to keep warm together. Just as I was lost in my own thoughts, Shen Zexuan suddenly said, "Yu hid you very well." I was puzzled and could only stare at him with my already large eyes wide open, but he continued, "He hid you in Qiufeng Garden for eight years, keeping you away from a lot of trouble and intrigue, which is why you are so pure." Then he smiled and added, "Of course, he also had many wonderful ideas, but they were all coordinated and not contradictory." I was ashamed and speechless. Shen Haoyu had indeed acted in this way, but he said I was pure... In this life, I hadn't experienced anything dirty (except for the Qiyun Marquis's mansion), but after reading so many novels and watching so many TV shows in my previous life, I understood their thoughts very well, even if I didn't say it. Then he added that he actually had no interest in becoming emperor, and that his current struggles were merely for self-preservation. Without sufficient strength, it would be difficult to extricate himself safely from this vortex. This is what is meant by being caught in a bind. If Prince Qing hadn't possessed formidable power, the emperor probably wouldn't have any brothers still alive today. As for whether Shen Zexuan was truly interested in becoming emperor, I didn't bother to speculate. The truth wouldn't be known until the very last moment, and thinking too much would only spoil my mood.

What puzzled me was that, apart from the first time we met when Shen Zexuan kissed me, he never did anything inappropriate or intimate when we were alone together afterward. At most, we would hold hands and lean on each other, which made me like him even more.

As darkness fell, it was almost time to go back. I used to be so eager to return to Prince Qing's mansion, but now I didn't seem so impatient. I sighed, tidied myself up a bit, and gently jumped down from the tree.

Back at Yixinzhai, Zinuo had prepared a steaming hot meal for me in my room, right on time. I warmed my hands and feet before sitting down to eat with him. Zinuo seemed unusually quiet during the meal today. Although I found it a little strange, I didn't ask too much: children grow up, and they always have their own privacy.

After dinner, Zi Nuo told me that Shen Haoyu wanted to see me, so I went to Shen Haoyu's study and gave him a routine report on my work for the day. Shen Haoyu didn't say anything to me as usual, but just sat there silently watching me. I felt uneasy under his gaze, but I didn't dare to leave without permission.

After a long silence, Shen Haoyu finally asked in a deep voice, "Have you been getting very close to the Third Prince lately?" His handsome face was cold and expressionless.

I was surprised. They had been very discreet all along. Even if they were discovered, they wouldn't directly implicate me and Shen Zexuan. After a moment's thought, I replied, "It's not that I'm close to the Third Prince, it's that I'm close to his maid."

"What happened?" Shen Haoyu's expression softened slightly, and I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

I stammered, "I met Nightingale by chance... and she... fell in love with me at first sight."

"Oh?" A smile finally appeared on Shen Haoyu's face, and he pressed on!

I said, "I didn't want to get entangled with her, but I couldn't reveal that I was also a woman, and I couldn't find a good excuse to refuse her kindness, so I can only leave it at that for now." I'm sorry, Nightingale, I'll have to put up with this for now, anyway, you wouldn't like me.

Shen Haoyu chuckled softly, "That's fine too." Then he added, "Remember not to get too intimate, lest someone discover our identities."

I bowed and agreed, and Shen Haoyu then told me to leave. Once outside the study, I lightly patted my chest. Thank goodness; I'll have to be more careful in the future.

Two days later, I finally saw Shen Zexuan again. At Liuzui Residence, I told him that Shen Haoyu had discovered my frequent meetings with Nightingale, and repeated my explanation. Fortunately, he only discovered our meetings; he hadn't yet suspected that we had switched identities. Shen Zexuan smiled faintly, but there was no warmth in his smile: "He didn't stop you from meeting?"

I nodded, feeling a chill in my heart, much like he did.

Shen Zexuan didn't say anything more, just quietly drank his tea. I understood Shen Haoyu's intentions; even brothers and fathers would scheme against each other in a place like this, let alone them. They seemed to be supporting each other, but who knew that in the end they wouldn't each have their own plans? Besides, didn't Shen Zexuan have some ulterior motive in approaching me? It's just that I'm taking things one step at a time, and I don't think about it too much until I have to face it.

"The day after tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Will you stay with me that night?" Shen Zexuan broke the silence.

I shook my head: "I'm afraid that won't work. There's no reason for me to run away; it would only arouse suspicion." We always choose to meet in the afternoon, which is when I can leave the palace openly. Besides, Song Zhixuan and Lin Zhao will be back tomorrow, so we'll definitely be staying together on New Year's Eve.