Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn

Chapter 128

Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn. Chapter 111

Chapter word count: 3487 Update time: 09-09-10 11:56

Before I could even process what Shen Zexuan had just said, he continued, "I heard in Caizhou that you encountered the Xuan Ying army outside the city and fled into the mountains. I searched for you on the mountain for three days and three nights, but I couldn't find anything. I thought that I would never see you again. Do you know how desperate I felt at that time?"

It would have been better if this matter hadn't been mentioned, but upon hearing the name Caizhou, the deep-seated hatred surged forth. Suppressing the sorrow in his chest, he asked in a deep voice, "Your Highness, do you really believe that was the army of Xuan Ying?"

Shen Zexuan's face stiffened, then he said, "At first, that's what I thought, but I learned the truth later. However, no matter how you and Shen Haoyu escaped back, when I saw you standing alive in front of me the other day, I only thought that I would never let you turn away again. After hearing you say that you would have no more connection with the Prince Qing's Mansion, I thought even more that I would keep you by my side no matter what. But now, Shen Haoyu has brought his troops to the gates of Xiangzhou for your sake. How can anyone believe that you have no more connection with the Prince Qing's Mansion? How can I hide your identity? How can I bring you safely to the capital?"

She shook her head and looked at Shen Zexuan: "Your Highness, you don't need to go to such trouble. Even if I have no more connection with the Prince Qing's Mansion, there is no possibility between us anymore. What lies between us is not only the conflict between you and the Prince Qing's Mansion, but also the blood of my brother and my friends who have been with me day and night. Not to mention that the Emperor has long intended to kill me, even if the Emperor did not pursue me, if I had not happened to run into you this time, I would never have had any connection with your family again."

A hint of suppressed anger flashed in Shen Zexuan's eyes, and his peerless face showed a trace of shock and pain as he said in a low voice, "You insist on doing this?"

Shen Zexuan's appearance pierced my eyes and my heart. Although I had long expected this day to come, when it was right before me, the sorrow and bitterness in my heart were still unbearable. Once this was made clear, there would be no more possibilities in the future, and everything that had happened would truly only become a memory.

"Yes, Your Highness." She gritted her teeth, nodded heavily, and a tear fell to the floor, seeping into the dust. Before, she didn't want to love too painfully; now, she was desperate and didn't want to love anymore. "Your Highness, I hope you still remember what happened in Ningzhou City. If we insist on being together, I'm afraid resentment will outweigh love in the future."

“If that’s the case, come with me to the city wall.” Shen Zexuan’s face returned to its calm expression. “However, since we’ve captured you, you should at least look like a prisoner. I’m afraid you’ll have to make do with it when we go up to the city wall.”

With a slight smile, I said, "Let things be as they are, and let's not make things difficult for anyone."

As we approached the city wall, someone offered me a rope. Shen Zexuan took it and personally tied my hands behind my back, then wrapped it several times around my waist before leading me to the top of the wall to look down at the neatly arrayed army of Prince Qing. The person in the center of the front row, dressed in purple without armor, must be Shen Haoyu. I couldn't see his face clearly; I could only guess. The telescope had long been abandoned in Caizhou City; I wondered who had taken it. I turned to look at Shen Zexuan. Would he deal with the things I left in Caizhou? Then I smiled bitterly to myself. It was all over; why think about those things anymore?

Seeing us ascend the city wall, the people below rode closer on horseback, and Shen Haoyu's voice carried from afar: "Huai'en, is that you?" At such a distance, even if I said yes, could he hear me? I don't have the skill to transmit my voice with internal energy.

However, looking at Shen Haoyu in the distance, I wondered how he knew I had been captured here, and why he was making such a big show of rescuing me? Would that make them release me?

Before he could speak, Shen Zexuan said, "Shen Haoyu, if you dare to ride alone to the city gate, I will let her down."

Shen Haoyu spurred his horse forward, but was stopped by the two men beside him. I turned to look at Shen Zexuan, and the densely packed archers on the city wall. Not only would they unleash a volley of arrows once Shen Haoyu entered their range, which he couldn't possibly withstand, but even if he could break through the arrow barrage, would Shen Zexuan really let me down? In the end, it was all just a ploy to send Shen Haoyu to his death. Finally, I asked, "Your Highness, if the young prince truly reaches the bottom, will you let me down?"

Shen Zexuan smiled and said frankly, "No."

If you don't know how, why bother? Others aren't stupid; they'd be foolish enough to come running over knowing you won't release them.

Seeing that Shen Haoyu was being held back, Shen Zexuan said again, "Shen Haoyu, do you even care about the woman who is with you through thick and thin?"

Before the words were even finished, Shen Haoyu broke free from the two people holding him and galloped downstairs. I cursed him inwardly for being a fool, falling into such a simple trap. But seeing him getting closer, I couldn't help but think of doing what the heroines in movies do—jumping down myself to avoid putting him in a difficult position. But when I looked down and saw the ground was far away, and the strong wind blowing past my feet, my legs immediately went weak, and I quickly dismissed the unrealistic idea. Fortunately, someone rushed over and pulled Shen Haoyu back down, and I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

Before I could even exhale completely, I felt a tightening around my waist. Before I could react, my body was hanging over the wall. With my feet in mid-air, I looked up and saw the rope clutched in Shen Zexuan's hand. I couldn't believe he would do such a thing. The rope was tightly binding my waist, and my mind went blank. So this sacrifice would cost me my life. In the end, he chose what was more important to him.

I kept looking at him, but he didn't look down at me once. He just looked ahead and said loudly, "Shen Haoyu, I'll give you the time it takes for an incense stick to burn to consider. After that, whether you come or not, I will cut this rope."

My heart turned cold instantly, and I felt incredibly ironic.

I was the one who said those words, yet I secretly hoped he wouldn't really give up, expecting him to remove the obstacles to our being together. But when he said those things, I realized I wasn't really that important. At that moment, I finally understood that all those promises were just empty words. Was it I who gave up first? It was simply that neither of us had truly given our all…

Shen Zexuan stared intently ahead, finally believing that there was truly no possibility between him and me anymore.

Turning his gaze to where Shen Zexuan was looking, Shen Haoyu was riding his horse step by step towards them. His face was already vaguely visible, his lips were tightly pursed, and his eyes were fixed on the building.

The relentless advance of the horses' hooves felt like each step was landing on my heart. I looked up at Shen Zexuan, then down at Shen Haoyu, and suddenly everything seemed unimportant. As Shen Haoyu drew closer and closer, about to enter their firing range, tears welled up in my eyes, and I cried out, "Ganlin, why didn't you come to save me?" I couldn't believe the sound of my voice; it was filled with sobs and utter despair.

The words were clearly heard by Shen Haoyu, who pulled on the reins, bringing the horse to a sudden stop. If he goes back now, I'll be at ease.

Shen Haoyu stopped on his horse, looking up at me swinging back and forth outside the city walls. Many images flashed through his mind:

On the eve of my departure for the Golden Sparrow Kingdom, he gave me earnest instructions…

On his way back to China, he risked his life to save Zi Nuo...

Outside Qingzhou City, he did everything in his power to rescue Zi Nuo, and he also searched for me everywhere despite the danger...

Cai Zhou was in danger, and even though he was already safe, he still jumped into the water to follow me...

Inside the cave, he was a bit clumsy, but he still diligently treated my injuries...

In the valley, they fed me water and food spoonful by spoonful...

During the escape, he would always let me rest, and then he would go into the jungle to find food...

...

So many things, every single detail, flooded my mind in that instant. So much had happened between us. All my previous attempts, unknown to me, seemed so ridiculous in comparison. I had merely used that as an excuse to avoid the truth, placing all my hopes on Shen Zexuan. Why could I agree to look into Shen Zexuan's heart, yet refuse to look into Shen Haoyu's?

I'm sorry, Your Highness, it's only now that I believe in your feelings, and only now that I see my own heart clearly.

But I don't want to owe you anything more, and I can't let you risk your life again. So please go back. No matter what happens next, my heart is at peace. I am already very content knowing that someone treated me that way.

Shen Haoyu finally turned his horse around and rode back to his own camp, and I finally felt relieved.

The rope around his waist tightened again, and Shen Zexuan pulled him back, finally putting him on solid ground.

"Your Highness, I'm sorry." I'm sorry for ruining your plans. "And thank you." Thank you for letting my heart find its true home.

Shen Zexuan was slightly taken aback, then said sadly, "I never intended to actually cut the rope."

"It doesn't matter anymore." Regardless of your final choice, I have already made my own. And whether you cut the rope or not, if Shen Haoyu dies, I won't survive either. Don't you know I shared the Mother-Child Pill with him?

I walked down the city wall and touched my hair, which was messed up by the wind. Shen Zexuan still made me go back to the room I had stayed in before, and I was locked in the room by myself, without seeing anyone else.

Two days later, Shen Zexuan finished his inspection of military affairs and set off back to the capital. I accompanied him, and I was treated well; I wasn't shackled or handcuffed, and I even had a horse to ride beside him. Even now, Shen Zexuan still had to do this. I could only sneer inwardly. Whether his sincerity was genuine or feigned was truly none of my concern anymore.

Seven days later, I returned to the capital. The officers below asked Shen Zexuan what to do with me. Shen Zexuan ignored them and instead took me back to the Third Prince's residence, the place where I had stayed for several months.

Shen Zexuan arranged for me to stay at "Tianya," in the attic where my seashell wind chime used to hang. Due to weathering, many of the seashells had broken off, and the bell itself had been taken away. This was his secluded courtyard; we lived very close, yet our hearts were truly far apart, never to return to what they were before, like the broken wind chime. He would come to see me every day, but wouldn't let me leave the courtyard. Only a maidservant accompanied me; I had the feeling I was being held captive.

This is for the best; being here is better than being in prison. But now, is there anything he still wants to salvage?