Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn - Chapter 147
"How could the king allow you to not celebrate the festival in the palace?" Mid-Autumn Festival is also a big day in Jinque Kingdom. It is customary for the king and his subjects to celebrate together. How could the regent prince be absent?
Zinuo didn't answer, but only asked, "Is it delicious?"
"Delicious." She said, taking a big bite as a gesture of goodwill.
Zinuo smiled, her eyes crinkling: "We'll have to give that chef a good reward later. He's been working on making this cake for days, and it's finally turned out well."
"You brought the cook with you?"
"Of course we had to bring it, otherwise the cake would have spoiled on the way, since it's so far away."
After eating several more bites of cake, she realized that Gan Lin and Ruo Sheng weren't there. "Where are Gan Lin and Ruo Sheng? Let's invite them in. Birthday cake is more festive when everyone eats it together. By the way, why aren't you eating?"
Zi Nuo looked at me with some difficulty, hesitated for a while, and then said with a red face, "I tried some cake a few days ago and got a stomachache, so I don't dare to eat it now."
She smiled and didn't force Zinuo. She stood up to call Ganlin and Ruosheng in, but Zinuo stopped her.
"Sister, can we ask them to come over later?" Zi Nuo's eyes flickered, but she didn't look at me.
Somewhat puzzled by Zinuo's behavior, he still sat down.
"Sister, Father is going to choose a concubine for me," Zi Nuo suddenly said.
Yes, Zinuo is already eighteen years old. "Did they say which family she belongs to?" I've never heard of Zinuo being interested in any girl, and royal marriages rarely involve genuine feelings. Is Zinuo going to face such a marriage?
"He didn't say that. My father allowed me to choose my own consorts."
King Jinque has indeed given Zinuo a great benefit: he can choose the girl he likes. "Do you have a woman you fancy?"
After asking the question, she looked up and met Zinuo's burning gaze. Her heart skipped a beat, and she regretted asking so directly. She quickly looked back at the cake.
Zinuo stood up, walked to my side, and squatted down. Her silvery-white hair brushed against the back of my hand, carrying a slight coolness. Those individual strands of silver stung my eyes. Even though Zinuo was of prominent status and exceptionally beautiful, how many women would look at her head full of white hair with normal eyes?
I reached out and stroked Zi Nuo's hair. It's all because of me.
"Sister, would you be willing to be my imperial concubine?" Zi Nuo raised her head, her face showing a hint of expectation and a sense of relief.
"After we go back, would you be willing to be my queen?" Shen Haoyu's voice suddenly rang in my mind, leaving me momentarily confused.
"Sister, I've asked this question in my heart countless times, and today, I've finally asked it. Would you be my imperial concubine?"
My fingers traced Zinuo's hair, my voice trembling slightly: "Is this what you've been thinking?" I wanted to ask if there were no other options; I wanted to ask if my constant presence in his life had confused him about the true nature of his feelings; I wanted to ask... But seeing the unfamiliar tenderness on Zinuo's face, and recalling Gan Lin's words, "Why not look at the people around you?", I couldn't bring myself to ask. I just felt that some things had been overlooked, or perhaps I had never even considered them, yet they had taken root and sprouted elsewhere.
Zinuo squatted beside me, just like when he was a child. But I knew that when he stood up, he would no longer be my Zinuo.
“This is what I’ve been thinking about for many years. From the moment the Third Prince kissed you in the plum garden of Prince Qing’s mansion, I hated myself for only being able to call you ‘sister.’ Now that I’ve finally gotten rid of the identity of being your younger brother, can you give me a chance? I’m afraid that if I don’t speak up, you will always only see me as your younger brother.”
I clenched my fist, my mind a complete blank. How could I possibly respond to Zinuo's affection? The past is unresolved, and now this new trouble has added another layer to the chaos. It's beyond simple comprehension.
But Zi Nuo is the younger brother I've always cherished, so how could I let him get hurt because of me?
“Zinuo, you already know that I am not your biological sister, but for more than ten years, you have always been the most important younger brother in my heart. This feeling has been ingrained in my bones. It is really not an easy thing for me to treat you as another man.”
Zi Nuo raised her face, the tender affection in her eyes quite different from how she looked at me before. "I am overjoyed to be able to express my feelings to you today, sister. Your brotherly love for me has run deep for over ten years, and I am willing to spend the same amount of time, or even longer, to erase that brotherly love, so that you will see me as a man like the Third Prince and the others." Her soft words revealed her determination to fight a protracted battle.
I wanted to tell Zinuo that I had already given my heart to someone else, but realizing that there was no longer any possibility between us, it would be futile to say it, only adding to my troubles. So I could only smile and let it go. Let Zinuo hold onto this belief: could I have another ten years? Perhaps it wouldn't be that long before Zinuo met the one she truly loved, and the Golden Sparrow King wouldn't give Zinuo that much time. Tonight, let's not disappoint his feelings.
"Get up. Aren't your legs numb after squatting for so long?" She smiled and helped Zi Nuo up from the ground, smoothing out his slightly wrinkled clothes. "I'll go call Gan Lin and Ruo Sheng to come and eat cake together."
Zinuo straightened up, her eyes sparkling as she looked down at me, more dazzling than the palace lanterns filling the garden. "Sister, please sit down. I'll go call them in." With that, she vanished in a flash.
After taking a sip of fruit wine, I still couldn't calm down. I didn't know if what I had done today was right or wrong. I could only sit quietly and wait for them to return.
With Zinuo by her side, Ruosheng became noticeably more reserved. Knowing that some of her beliefs were deeply ingrained, she simply smiled and said nothing more. Ganlin ate a few bites of cake, praising it repeatedly, but said nothing else. During the meal, only Zinuo was in high spirits, her eyes and brows beaming with an undisguised smile, which made my heart ache.
After everyone finished the cake, Zinuo reached out and wiped the crumbs from the corner of my mouth, his eyes filled with doting affection. Seeing that look in Zinuo's eyes made me very uncomfortable. I glanced at Ganlin out of the corner of my eye and saw that he looked gloomy, so I could only give an awkward smile.
After the wine was finished and everyone had left, Ruosheng helped me back to my room. Although it was fruit wine, I still felt a little dizzy after drinking so much.
Immersed in the fragrant hot water, Ruosheng gently massaged my temples.
"Your Highness is very happy today," Ruosheng said softly. "Only the Holy Maiden can make Your Highness so happy."
Upon hearing this, I stiffened slightly. Only after it was pointed out did I realize that Zinuo's feelings were so obvious, while I was the only one who was oblivious.
After a long and tiring day, I finally lay down in bed. Bright moonlight streamed in through the window, casting dappled shadows on the floor. With a heavy heart, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep. I put on my clothes, quietly got out of bed, and heard Ruosheng's steady breathing outside. I tiptoed outside.
The courtyard was filled with the delicate fragrance of osmanthus blossoms, carried by the night breeze, sometimes strong, sometimes faint. Embroidered shoes rustled softly on the fallen leaves, occasionally punctuated by the crisp crack of a small fruit, but thankfully the night wasn't too quiet, so the sounds weren't too jarring.
I searched for a long time under the osmanthus tree, but could only smell its fragrance without seeing any flowers. I didn't know if the flowers were too small, the moon wasn't bright enough, or if there was something wrong with my eyesight.
Sitting on the roots of the old tree, looking up at the few sparse clouds in the sky, I felt that my heart, like those clouds, could only drift with the wind. Zinuo's situation still haunted me. Shen Tingxuan and Gan Lin, I had hurt them both unintentionally, and now Zinuo was slowly joining their ranks. Love is truly exhausting. Why are they all so restless, wanting to convey their feelings to me, leaving me torn? Or am I too greedy, only wanting to bind them with kinship and friendship?
Footsteps approached from behind, each step heavy and deliberate, as if intentional. Turning around, I saw it was Gan Lin.
Why aren't you asleep?
Gan Lin walked over in a few steps: "She saw someone acting suspiciously and followed her out. She watched for a long time, but she didn't notice."
"Master Gan's martial arts are so profound, how could he be caught red-handed by a mere woman like me?"
Gan Lin didn't reply, but asked, "Why aren't you sleeping in the middle of the night? Did Zinuo say something to you?"
He nodded with a wry smile. Why was Gan Lin, a grown man, always so sharp and meticulous in his gaze?
"How much longer can I live?" As soon as I asked the question, Gan Lin was clearly stunned for a moment, then sighed again: "This isn't what Zinuo was talking about, is it?"
"Of course not." Zinuo and Ganlin hadn't told me, they were just taking good care of my health, but that didn't mean others wouldn't tell me. This was probably one of the reasons why King Jinque let Zinuo choose his own consort, knowing that I couldn't have much time to get entangled with his son.