Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn

Chapter 162

Do not lean against the west railing to lock in the clear autumn. Chapter 140

Chapter word count: 3697 Update time: 09-09-22 06:14

In early August, the north was temporarily at peace, and King Jinque and Zi Nuo set off back to Hanyue City.

As the day of Zi Nuo and the others' arrival in Han Yue City drew closer, Shen Haoyu grew increasingly anxious.

"What's wrong with you?" I finally couldn't help but ask, seeing Shen Haoyu's increasingly gloomy face.

Shen Haoyu stopped pacing back and forth and said in a deep voice, "I really dislike Zi Nuo now, even more than I dislike Gan Lin."

I spat out a mouthful of tea, choking and coughing several times. This young prince is really straightforward these days.

Shen Haoyu strode up to me and said angrily, "You woman, you lost Shen Zexuan, and now this Zinuo has appeared. You've even gotten involved with your so-called younger brother. I really don't know where their eyes are!"

After his cough subsided, he looked up at Shen Haoyu. Despite wearing a human skin mask, which was probably made too thin, his expression was still very agitated, and the anger in his eyes seemed to be spitting fire.

She put a finger to her lips and said, "Shh, keep your voice down. Gan Lin is right outside. Aren't you afraid he'll hear us?"

Shen Haoyu flicked his sleeve and sat down sullenly. If he had been wearing his old clothes, a huge gust of wind would have blown into my face.

Shen Haoyu sat in the chair for a while before speaking again, his tone softening considerably: "Let's go back, okay?"

"Young Prince has been away for so long, it's indeed time for him to return." If others knew that Young Prince Qing had come to the Golden Sparrow Kingdom alone, who knows what kind of trouble it would cause. My illness is enough to be free from unhappiness.

"It's not me, it's us," Shen Haoyu corrected impatiently.

She stared wide-eyed, somewhat startled, pondering the meaning behind his words, when he said again, "I'll ask you the same question I asked you before. Will you be my queen?" He asked it again, this time with a hint of caution.

He wasn't without his own thoughts, but he merely chuckled and said, "I believe the young prince knows my current predicament better than I do myself. A person whose life hangs by a thread, a person with an unusual appearance, are you really going to make such a promise?"

Shen Haoyu seemed about to get angry again, but finally held back: "Our ancestor gave the list of the Soul-Severing Pill to my father, and I've already given it to my master uncle. He'll definitely be able to concoct the antidote. Even if he can't—I'll still say the same thing." He added, "What's so strange about your appearance? It's just that your hair is a little different from others, isn't it? Didn't you used to complain about ruining so many horses and trying every possible way to change your hair color?"

I shook my head slightly, and the question that had troubled me for so long finally came out: "Then, what about Yin Yan?" That year I woke up to find that the young Prince Qing had rejected the noblewoman Prince Qing had arranged for him to marry, instead taking a maid who had served him for many years. Because of her low status, no matter how much Prince Qing doted on her, he only allowed her to be a concubine. Yet, in the common folk, it was still a beautiful story. That woman, of course, was deeply in love with his Yin Yan. Later, they even had a… son.

I don't know whether to congratulate Yin Yan in my heart for finally getting what she wanted, or to regret my own lack of appreciation. Many things, once you take the first step, there's no turning back. What's missed is missed forever.

Shen Haoyu asked curiously, "What happened to Yinyan? After marrying her, I turned down the marriage arranged by my father and sent her back to her hometown. On the way, I picked up a child with the same flower on his back as you. Yinyan said that it might be your reincarnation and insisted on taking him in and adopting him. Thinking that she was lonely in her hometown and afraid that my father would ask for another marriage for me to continue the family line, I let her adopt him as her son. What, do you only go back if you bring her back to keep you company?"

After listening to Shen Haoyu's words, I stood there stunned, not knowing whether to laugh or cry for a long time. The thing that had been bothering me all along turned out to be another story altogether.

"Then why don't you get married?" I don't believe he knows I'm not dead and is still waiting for me.

"Didn't you say that a true man should first establish merit and achieve success before he is qualified to marry and have children?" Shen Haoyu looked at me with considerable doubt, and then said, "Now that Youjing has been divided into three, and the country is no longer a country, how can you get married? It's just that Father King is forcing me too hard."

Looking at Shen Haoyu's serious expression, and recalling how the Princess Consort had caused him so much trouble because of the Third Prince's homosexuality, she realized that there had been so much happiness in the Qing Prince's mansion back then. At least back then, everyone was by her side. But now, no one was anyone anymore.

"Will you agree?" Shen Haoyu asked again, his expression earnest, somewhat anxious... and uneasy.

"Your Highness, will you agree?" This is probably why I resolutely left Takigawa back then.

“This time, it was only with my father’s approval that I was able to leave home for so long,” Shen Haoyu paused, seemingly finding it difficult to speak, and finally said hesitantly, “My father learned the truth about some old things and did not want me to end up like him, so he allowed me to come here.”

Does the past refer to Prince Qing and my mother? And how should he, as the princess's son, conduct himself? Prince Qing forbade me from telling him back then, but now he has finally found out—this is somewhat awkward for everyone.

However, Shen Haoyu's words are really tempting. My parents don't object anymore, I don't have to be the so-called third party anymore, there is a great hope for detoxification, and he has also put aside his status to come here and take care of me for several months. I... what I thought I had lost is now in front of me again for me to choose. Should I let myself regret it again?

“Zinuo, he…” Before I could finish speaking, Shen Haoyu interrupted me: “Don’t try to fob me off with Ganlin or Zinuo again. What exactly is your relationship? I’m not blind these past few months! But Zinuo is really in a bit of a problem.”

Shen Haoyu frowned, then smiled slightly: "I haven't asked you before, but back then on the city wall of Xiangzhou, you deliberately said those things to make me leave, didn't you?"

After a frank nod in acknowledgment, Shen Haoyu became happy again: "So, you do care about me too. Then, just say yes."

Although my heart is overflowing with sweetness, helplessness and confusion also linger, making it difficult for me to make a decision. If I agree, it means hurting Zinuo, it means getting involved in the issues I've always avoided, and watching those I care about fight each other on the battlefield. If I don't agree, the pain is unbearable. After missing out for so long, facing it again, and letting go again, how difficult will it be?

"Let me think about it," she whispered to Shen Haoyu. Marrying the one you love shouldn't be a choice, but placed in this context, I deeply regret living in such an era. Or am I ultimately too greedy, unwilling to let go of anything, and destined to gain nothing in the end?

Should we abandon everyone else and follow only him?

In two days, King Jinque and Zi Nuo will be back. Shen Haoyu still brings medicine every day, and then looks at me without saying a word. I know he's waiting for my answer, but to agree to him would mean giving up flesh and blood, and that would be a bloody pain.

He traveled a great distance to find what I had lost and brought it to me.

I initially suspected that he invited the Immortal to detoxify me and stayed here himself, partly to detoxify me and partly to gather information about the Golden Sparrow's inner workings. But after our long conversation that day, if I still harbored such thoughts, I would truly be a despicable person.

I once asked myself, if I could see him again while I'm still alive, would I be brave enough to do it?

Now, he is right in front of me, waiting for my words. Can I give him the answer he wants?

If I agree to his request, will Zinuo finally give up and stop wasting his time on me? There will be temporary hurt, but I'll have many more options in the future...

Too many entanglements have left me completely confused.

If hurting someone is inevitable, then let it be hurt completely. Zi Nuo, Gan Lin…

At least two people got what they wanted.

In my lifetime, I choose not to have too many regrets.

He walked up to Shen Haoyu, bent down, and smiled, "Young Prince, I already have the answer, but looking at this face, I can't say it."

How could you say such things to someone who doesn't seem sad?

Shen Haoyu's body stiffened slightly, then his face lit up with a radiant smile, his eyes shining brightly. He stood up and carefully removed the human skin mask from the mirror. The face beneath the mask was pale from wearing it for so long, and there were a few bright red pimples on it.

Shen Haoyu touched his pimple somewhat awkwardly. His face, which had been more resolute than before, flushed slightly, making it even more noticeable against his pale complexion.

She reached out and whispered in Shen Haoyu's ear, "Young Prince, I—like you." When did she begin to like him? She didn't know. By the time she realized, she had already lost him. This time, she would never let go.