Hu Ni nodded affirmatively.
Xiao Yan leaned her chair closer to Hu Ni and whispered, "Do you think Xiao Gang will come today?"
Hu Ni asked, "Are you thinking about him?"
Xiao Yan's eyes dimmed, and she said, "If only he were rich, I would have married him without even blinking." Xiao Yan rubbed her wedding dress and said thoughtfully, "He asked me to wait for him for a year. He said that if he became rich in that year, he would come back to marry me, and if not, he would never force me again."
Hu Ni asked, "Are you really not going to regret letting him go?"
Xiao Yan smiled, looking somewhat helpless, as if trying to convince herself, and said, "Poverty is too terrible. I don't want to live a poor life anymore, I never want to again. What's the use of passion? Can it feed us? Can it replace a good life?"
Xiao Yan suddenly laughed and said, "Want me to introduce you to someone? Seriously!"
Hu Ni said, "I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Why not leave? You can get married anywhere else, and you can find a rich man to marry here too. Someone with your looks would be a waste if you didn't marry a rich man!"
Hu Ni lit a cigarette but didn't offer one to Xiao Yan, who hadn't smoked today to try and look better. Hu Ni looked at the billowing smoke and said slowly, "I want to change places and start over. I've lost all passion here. A change of scenery, something fresh."
"Still deciding to go to Hainan?"
"Yes." Hu Ni slowly exhaled smoke, thinking about the various legends about Hainan. It was those legends that filled her with longing for Hainan.
Xiao Yan paused for a moment, then suddenly asked, "Are you really a college student? Were you expelled from school?"
Hu Ni smiled and said, "I hope not, then it won't feel so unfair."
Suddenly, Xiao Yan's eyes were filled with envy. For Xiao Yan, who had just finished high school, the words "college student" contained so much that she envied.
"So? Your family is all happy now, right?" Hu Ni deliberately tried to avoid the topic.
"Don't even mention it!" Xiaoyan fiddled with the rose petals in her hand, saying with a touch of melancholy, "Luckily, I have Zhang Yong under my control. What kind of family is like this, selling their daughter off like she's being sold? Thinking about it, I can't believe I'm their biological daughter! Do parents really have such a thing!"
Xiaoyan became agitated, tearing at the rose petals as she said, "If it were anyone else, I wouldn't know where to put my face! Damn it! Even if it were Zhang Yong, I would still feel so ashamed. Look at all the things we've added to the house, and it's still not enough. She actually asked Zhang Yong for an apartment, saying that since her daughter has been handed over, she should enjoy her retirement. Even if I'm mostly after Zhang Yong's money, I still don't have the face to ask for anything like that... I haven't even married him yet, and I've already lost all face... If it were Xiaogang, I probably wouldn't even dare to marry him!"
"How could I have such parents!" Xiao Yan said wistfully, looking out at the deep blue sky.
Hu Ni would never understand the entanglements between children and parents, nor had she ever experienced them, but she thought that feeling must be warm.
Pretty Friend (12)
gold
As dawn broke, the wedding procession arrived. The girls became excited, blocking the door and demanding red envelopes. Faced with the unbridled joy and excitement, Hu Ni was a little overwhelmed. This was her first time attending a wedding, and she had been so looking forward to it for the past few days.
Xiao Yan sat demurely on the edge of the bed like a shy bride. Hu Ni, unable to join the boisterous crowd, sat with Xiao Yan on the edge of the bed.
After being subjected to a series of difficulties, the grooms finally managed to take the bride away.
Xiao Yan's wedding was extremely extravagant. Fifteen black Mercedes-Benz cars adorned with floral ribbons drove through the streets of Chongqing in 1992, drawing the attention of passersby. Xiao Yan's car, with two small dolls of the bride and groom on its hood, led the procession. Hu Ni and several other girls sat in another car. The girls, suppressing their excitement, watched the onlookers. One girl said enviously, "To be able to marry like Xiao Yan, I've truly lived a worthwhile life."
The convoy drove slowly, taking a large detour, and the short distance took an hour to reach. Upon arrival at the hotel, after a brief preparation, Xiaoyan, dressed in her pristine white wedding gown, and Zhang Yong, impeccably dressed in a suit and with slicked-back hair, stood outside the lobby to greet guests like welcoming ceremonies, their faces bearing measured smiles. Behind them was a plaque written on red paper, displaying their names and the date of their wedding.
Guests arrived one after another, and Xiaoyan's hands, clad in pristine white gloves, had already shaken hundreds of hands; the smile on her face began to stiffen. Finally, it was time for the wedding to begin.
The hall was packed with guests, bustling with activity. The stage was already decorated in vibrant and festive colors, where the wedding would be performed like a show for everyone.
Hu Ni sat in her seat with her family and friends, able to clearly see everything on stage. She was caught up in the atmosphere and felt excited. The wedding march began, and the groom stood first in the center of the stage. Next to him was a man in sparkly clothing, a nightclub emcee, supposedly a top-tier host in Chongqing's nightclub industry. They had originally wanted to hire a television program host as the emcee, but at that time, television hosts didn't know how to be funny, so they gave up on that idea.
Xiaoyan was led onto the stage by her father, arm in arm, their steps slow and deliberate. Her father was also wearing a suit, a very expensive brand, but on him it looked like a cheap, cheap item he'd picked up at a night market. Xiaoyan smiled, genuinely, and slowly walked towards Zhang Yong, whose face was beaming with an equally genuine smile. Her father smiled too, genuinely, a radiant smile, his eyes sparkling. From this day forward, his daughter was married. Xiaoyan's father placed her hand in Zhang Yong's. Xiaoyan's grandmother smiled and began to wipe away tears, while Xiaoyan's mother's bright eyes also shimmered with tears.
The program started to get a bit boring after that; in fact, probably only Hu Ni found it boring, everyone else was laughing and seemed very happy. The host, dressed in a sparkly outfit, started his "comedic" antics. He made Hu Ni and Zhang Yong eat a dangling candy, and then had Zhang Yong wave his arm in the audience, making him "fly" towards Xiao Yan like a butterfly. He then had Zhang Yong and Xiao Yan act out Pigsy carrying his bride. Looking at Xiao Yan's white wedding dress and her stunning face, Hu Ni felt a pang of sadness. A wedding shouldn't be like this.
When it was time for both sets of parents to speak, Zhang Yong's father stood woodenly in front of the microphone and said a few words of blessing. Xiao Yan's father's speech brought the wedding to a new climax. His own congratulatory message could almost be called a limerick, and he read it seriously in heavily accented Chongqing-accented Mandarin. The audience laughed so hard they were doubled over, and several girls even slapped the table loudly with laughter. Finally, the emcee announced that Zhang Yong and Xia Xiao Yan were officially husband and wife.
Xiao Yan changed into a red halter-neck evening gown. If time allowed, she planned to change five outfits today. Xiao Yan went from table to table with Zhang Yong, offering toasts, each person holding a small glass and briefly touching their lips to the other—that was her token of appreciation. Some of the more boisterous guests insisted on drinking the entire glass. Hu Ni looked at the large table—there must be dozens of tables—and felt sorry for Xiao Yan, thinking how hard she was working.
The table began to look messy, and the guests' faces were flushed and oily. The banquet was ending, and the guests were leaving one after another. Those who remained were the bride and groom's close friends. They planned to go to the karaoke bar on the fourth floor to sing or play cards, so they could play pranks on the newlyweds that evening. The bride and groom, having drunk too much, booked a room and went to sleep.
Hu Ni said goodbye to Xiao Yan's parents and grandmother, and then left.
I don't want to go to the wedding night pranks anymore. I don't know how to join them properly. Xiaoyan has many friends, but they are all strangers.
I hurriedly boarded the bus, hurriedly walked through the alley, hurriedly packed my things, and there was a train to Guangdong at seven o'clock.
I wrapped my mother's photo in plastic and put it in my pocket, along with the thousand yuan I had withdrawn from the bank.
Hu Ni picked up all her belongings, walked to the door, stopped, and looked back. She should remember this place; she had to remember it. Hu Ni turned around and locked the door.
The stern-looking woman next door came out wearing a wrinkled cotton nightgown, gave Hu Ni a hard look, and then went downstairs with a loud thud. She didn't lock the door; she was probably going to the public restroom at the end of the alley.
When Hu Ni went downstairs, the landlady saw her and smiled, saying, "Little sister, you're leaving now?"
Hu Ni handed her the keys and said, "Yes, would you like to go up and take a look?"
The landlady said with a forced smile, "There's nothing to see, nothing to see, you can just leave."
A delicious aroma wafted from the kitchen; the landlord's son's wife was preparing for their evening noodle stall. A plump woman, carrying a basin of oily water, swayed as she approached. Hu Ni quickly stepped aside to make way for her. The woman reached the doorway and dumped the basin of dirty water onto the floor.
"Hey Zhang's wife, why are you dumping dirty water outside again! Can't you hear me? I've told you so many times! You just won't listen! Your water is so dirty! It's polluting the environment!" The old woman wearing a red armband shouted from outside.
"Oh, Grandma Liu! It's so hot, I'm just sprinkling some water to cool things down. I'm doing this out of kindness, and I'm even using water from my own house!" The plump woman said as she went back to the kitchen, where she was busy.
Grandma Liu stepped into the house relentlessly, while Hu Ni walked out, leaving the noise behind.
The barber next to the old house was trimming the hair of an old man in his sixties. His gray hair was scattered on the ground, and the old man, head bowed and eyes half-closed, looked drowsy. A shout startled him awake: "Old Li! After dinner, we're going to play another round. I'm determined to beat you!"
The old man tried to raise his head, but the barber pressed his head down and trimmed the hair at the base of his neck. He could only lower his head and sneer arrogantly, "Old Zhang! Even if I give you a cannon and a horse, you still can't beat me!"
An old man with a shaved head standing to the side spat on the ground: "Pah! I'd rather give you a horse and a cannon!"
Hu Ni continued walking. There was still no old man singing Sichuan opera under the shade of the trees; it was still early. Outside, people were still lying on deck chairs, enjoying the cool air, with radios on their bellies playing Sichuan opera. Two small children chased each other past Hu Ni. Hu Ni adjusted the bag on her back; it was quite heavy because it contained some books.
Emerging from the alley, she arrived at the bustling main street. Hu Ni put down her bag and stood waiting; at her feet lay a bedding roll and a small canvas bag.
A few minutes later, a minibus stopped in front of Hu Ni, and a woman shouted in a hoarse voice, "Sister, are you going to the train station or not?"
Hu Ni bent down, picked up her luggage, and jumped onto the minibus.
Before she could even settle in, the minibus sped off at full speed. Hu Ni stumbled, and the plump woman selling tickets grabbed her arm, saying, "Sister, hold on tight!"
Hu Ni sat down, not even having time to wipe her sweat, and first handed the money to the woman waiting next to her.
The minibus chugged restlessly through the sweltering afternoon streets. Hu Ni lowered her head, drowsy, her body clinging to her sweat-soaked skin—a sweat she'd endured all summer, a sweat she seemed to have grown accustomed to. She closed her eyes; she'd barely slept a wink the night before, unable to fall asleep. Catching the train, how to settle down in another city—so many unknowns about the future filled Hu Ni with unease. She even hesitated. Perhaps, like Xiao Yan had suggested, she could find a good man here, marry him, and never have to wander again. But too many reasons made her abandon that idea. There were so many exciting things she hadn't yet experienced. And, of course, Hu Ni's greatest enemy had always been her inferiority complex.
Pretty Friend (13)
gold
The train station was as bustling as the sweltering weather. Hu Ni mingled in the chaotic and noisy crowd, hurrying towards the long queue of train doors.
She boarded the train, found her seat, and put her things away. Once everything was settled, she was drenched in sweat. Hu Ni placed water and food on the table, then grabbed two books; a long journey like this couldn't be completed without something to pass the time.
Hu Ni finally settled into her seat; thankfully, it was a window seat. Once seated, the sadness began to surface. Hu Ni was overcome with an overwhelming sense of melancholy, along with a deep sense of unease. The first time she had boarded the train alone from Shanghai to Chongqing, Hu Ni had carried a certain amount of hopeful anticipation for the future. A university acceptance letter gave her confidence; at least she didn't have to worry about where she would settle down. But now, everything about the future was uncertain. Hu Ni suddenly felt afraid. Yet, she had no choice but to grit her teeth and continue her journey. Because wherever she stayed required courage; a person without a home felt the same everywhere—a feeling of rootlessness.
It was hot. The entire carriage was filled with an unbearable heat and stuffiness. All the windows were wide open, making her head spin, yet the heat persisted. Hu Ni was very thirsty, but she resisted the urge to drink water. The line outside the restrooms was too long, and besides, there was no water on the train; it was best to avoid going there if possible. A baby began to cry loudly, and the young mother held him and rocked him back and forth in the carriage, trying to soothe him and stop the increasingly irritating crying.
As darkness fell, a young couple next to Hu Ni fell asleep, their mouths wide open, supporting each other's heads. They occasionally let out soft snores. They were probably out looking for work too. Hu Ni envied them because they were two people; they weren't lonely, and they had someone to share their courage.
Across from Hu Ni, a family of three who looked like farmers were also looking for a good way to sleep. The man crawled under the seat, stretched out comfortably, and soon began to snore. The woman sat on the far end of the seat, while her six- or seven-year-old son lay flat on the seat, his head resting on his mother's lap, fast asleep, drool starting to trickle from his mouth. The woman also leaned her head against the back of the chair, dozing off.
Hu Ni leaned against the windowsill, looking at the dark world outside the train. Unfamiliar fields flashed by, and the train made a rhythmic rumbling sound. In this unfamiliar scenery and unchanging sound, Hu Ni suddenly felt tired. She really wished the train would keep going like this, so that she would never have to face everything that was about to happen.
Amid the train's swaying, Hu Ni drifted off to sleep, then drifted back to sleep, only to find it still dark outside the window. She drifted off to sleep again, repeating this cycle many times until dawn broke.
The journey is still long. Leaning against the window, watching the scenery outside, I cherish the peace and tranquility on the train. What will happen after I get off is anyone's guess.
The desolation at the end of the world (Part 1)
gold
After disembarking at Hainan's new port, Hu Ni was truly bewildered and at a loss. The dock was bustling with activity, as many mainlanders were still flocking to this island, which had been the subject of numerous miraculous tales of wealth accumulation in recent years—a place where gold was everywhere, and one could easily dig up a bucketful. But Hu Ni's immediate priority was to find herself a place to settle down.
She boarded a bus, and soon found herself vomiting on a street in Haikou. Standing on the unfamiliar street, Hu Ni looked around blankly. There was no legendary prosperity, no beautiful skyscrapers, but there were lavishly decorated hotels and nightclubs. The streets weren't wide or pretty enough, but they were full of high-end cars, including many Mercedes. Even though there were many taxis on the streets, people were still scrambling to get in; several people flagged down taxis and fiercely haggled with the drivers, whoever offered the highest price got in. This was a city under construction; buildings were under construction everywhere, construction sites were everywhere, everywhere was machinery and dust, but it was full of hope. Of course, there were no coconut palms or ocean waves to look forward to, but there was a long-lost clear blue sky. Many people were coming and going, seemingly confirming that this was indeed what the ticket seller had said, "the most prosperous area of Haikou." Soon, Hu Ni would be able to distinguish from the crowd who were locals and who were mainlanders coming to make money.
Hu Ni carried her things and walked slowly. Before she could settle down, she felt the restless atmosphere here. Perhaps this restlessness came from within herself, who knows?
She walked past a rather old building with a large sign on its small facade: XX Hotel. But she figured such a "hotel" must be cheap. Hu Ni went inside; she just wanted to quickly put down her heavy luggage, then give her body, which hadn't been washed for days and was covered in dust and sweat, change out of her blackened white T-shirt, and get a good night's sleep.
The "hotel" had almost no lobby; there was only a small window at the entrance where people handled registration, much like a small inn. Its old-fashioned and simple appearance gave a sense of security, suggesting it couldn't be very expensive.
Inside, a dark-skinned woman asked Hu Ni in broken Mandarin whether she wanted a large room or a suite. Hu Ni chose a suite; she couldn't imagine how horrible it would be to have a whole room crammed together. The price was unexpectedly high. Hu Ni didn't understand then; Hainan at that time was a place where money could be spent like water, so prices were naturally expensive. Hu Ni hesitated, but decided to stay for one night anyway.
After paying the deposit, Hu Ni followed the girl who couldn't even speak proper Mandarin, up the narrow stairs, through the narrow, unlit corridor, and into a room on the second floor. The room was small, containing only two beds, a table, two chairs, no air conditioning, but thankfully a fan and a small black-and-white television. The room had a small, makeshift bathroom without a bathtub.
She took a shower, did laundry, and hung the washed clothes in the bathroom. She turned on the fan, but Hu Ni just couldn't bear to lie down on the bed that smelled like a stranger. Hu Ni decided to go out, to get acquainted with her new place, and see if a miracle could happen—finding a job in a single day.
On the street, the sun beat down on people without any shade, but it was much milder than the heat in Chongqing because there was a breeze. Hu Ni walked forward aimlessly when a man approached her and asked her casually, "Miss, how much for a night?" Hu Ni was shocked that he would say such a thing, and a feeling of disgust and anger welled up inside her. She glared at him and hurried away.
When she saw the women strolling the streets, some alluring, some feminine, their eyes sparkling, she understood the reason for the man's abrupt behavior. "In Beijing, they complained about low-ranking positions; in Shenzhen, they complained about low pay; in Sichuan, they complained about getting married too early; in Hainan, they complained about their health." Back then, Hainan was definitely a paradise for men.
She bought a local newspaper and sat down at a coconut stall on the street to read it. There weren't many job postings, and most of them were for sales. Hu Ni continued walking, making sure to remember the way she had come.
It was getting dark, and Hu Ni started walking back. Of course, she hadn't found anything today. She saw a rice noodle stall by the roadside, sat down, and ordered a bowl of tomato and egg noodles. Next to Hu Ni sat two thin, dark-skinned young men, dressed very plainly and looking travel-worn. They were eating their rice noodles with gusto, making slurping noises.
The rice noodles were served in a large bowl, but they had almost no flavor. Hu Ni didn't care about that and ate most of the tasteless noodles. For her, eating was no longer about savoring the food, but simply about filling her stomach.
Back at my place, after taking a shower, I was covered in sweat again.
Still not wanting to sleep after my shower, I turned on the TV, but couldn't find anything interesting, so I gave up. I walked to the window, looking at the calm, almost unremarkable night view. My disappointment finally burst forth. This place was nothing like the legends I'd imagined; I couldn't even find a trace of familiarity. This was a newly cultivated field, but since I was already here, I shouldn't give up easily. Aren't there so many tales of people becoming rich? Perhaps this newly developed area truly holds many opportunities.
The Melancholy at the End of the World (Part Two)
gold
A week after finding a job, Hu Ni moved out of the "hotel" and temporarily stayed in an office. The boss agreed that she could "make do" on the office sofa for a few days.
Hu Ni works as the boss's secretary. The salary isn't high, at least not as high as it would be on the mainland, but Hu Ni desperately needs a job, so she accepts it. The entire company consists of only a few people, living in a small building on Longkun South Road in a two-bedroom apartment. The boss is a Hong Konger who's had a lot of setbacks and came to Haikou to invest because of government policies. He's in his forties, dark-skinned and thin, but exudes the shrewdness and sensitivity of a small businessman.
Hu Ni carried her simple belongings into the company. Sitting at the desk outside the manager's office, Hu Ni secretly breathed a sigh of relief. The boss had already instructed several colleagues to help her find an apartment, and her normal, stable life was about to begin.
Hu Ni took a shower, lay down on the sofa, and opened a novel to read. The uncertainty of her life brought her some comfort, and she began to slowly relax.
Perhaps tomorrow her colleagues will help her find a place to live, and she'll finally have a place to call home. Life will start anew. Hu Ni imagined the future, no longer daring to indulge in too many of her own subjective desires.
The sound of a key turning in the lock came from the door, and Hu Ni's hair stood on end. She nervously stared at the security door, which she had already bolted. The door was pushed impatiently, then banged on loudly, and a man's voice said, "Mei Hu Ni! Are you in there? Open the door! I need to get some documents!" It was the boss's heavily accented Mandarin.
Hu Ni got up, feeling somewhat uneasy, but she had no choice but to open the door.
The boss came in and went straight to his office. Hu Ni sat on the sofa, waiting for him to finish his business and leave.
The shopkeeper took out some things, and Hu Ni stood up and said, "You're leaving!"
The boss plopped down on the sofa and lit a cigarette. Hu Ni stood there, sensing the impending danger.
The boss exhaled a puff of smoke, a smile on his face. He casually patted the sofa and said, "Sit down! What are you standing for!"
Hu Ni hesitated for a moment, then sat down on the edge of the sofa. She then stood up and said, "Let me get you a glass of water." Serving tea and water is what secretaries in small companies do, and Hu Ni knew this and accepted it. After all, she was the secretary here.