On June 30th, a light drizzle began to fall, but this was not enough to dampen the enthusiasm of the people of Shenzhen.
Hu Ni skipped class; she and Xiao Yan, holding the national flag and the Hong Kong regional flag, stood early on the side of the street.
The crowd was in an uproar. Hu Ni, who usually paid no attention to national affairs, couldn't contain her excitement. She wanted to scream, jump, and laugh wildly like the woman next to her. Xiao Yan held Hu Ni's arm tightly, tilting her beautiful, meticulously groomed head high, and muttered softly, "Maybe we can see it better on TV at home."
"Since we're already here, let's not think about any other way that would be better."
"That's how it is!"
The rain was still drizzling, and water began to drip from her hair. Hu Ni gripped the small flag tightly in her hand, watching the military vehicles slowly drive by. The surrounding area was filled with the deafening sound of gongs and drums, and a surging crowd.
"Let's go to Honghu Park to watch the fireworks!" someone shouted.
The suggestion alerted many people around, and a group of them headed towards Honghu Park.
A large crowd had already gathered opposite the Xinhua Hotel, all staring intently at the large billboard hanging high on the building. It was nearly midnight. The rain continued to drizzle. Xiaoyan and Huni had been separated by a group of energetic young men and women. Huni stood alone on the outskirts of the crowd, anxiously looking in the direction Xiaoyan had gone.
"Hu Ni! Hu Ni! Come in! Come in!" Hu Ni waved her arms and called out when she saw Xiao Yan in the crowd. Her eyes, which were covered in makeup, were now completely dark blue.
Hu Ni agreed and tried her best to move forward.
"Hu Ni!" Amid the noise, a surprised call reached Hu Ni's ears. Nervously, she didn't look around, instead relying on her ears to sense the person's presence. She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, as this call had echoed many times before, only in her mind. Hu Ni silently pushed forward, straining her ears to discern the call. "Hu Ni!" A man's voice rang out, a mixture of surprise, hesitation, and delight. "Hu Ni!" The voice came from nearby. Hu Ni turned her head and saw a pair of eyes watching her, hesitant and inquiring. It was the man on the overpass; his tall stature made him easily noticeable in the crowd. "Hu Ni?" the man called out uncertainly, meeting her gaze.
The surrounding clamor suddenly fell silent, time stood still, and even the world receded into an unseen realm. Hu Ni unconsciously gaped, her eyes wide, watching the man slowly approaching from the crowd, the man on the overpass, the handsome boy running across the desolate mountain ridge. Hu Ni was transported back to the past, the carriage slowly crawling along the mountain path, the bells jingling. Hu Ni clutched a small bag tightly in her hands. Inside was a black-and-white photograph of her mother. The faded yet bright sunlight in the photo brought Hu Ni a sense of comfort, for her mother in the picture was bathed in that sunlight, beautiful and serene. The bag also contained a copy of *Grimm's Fairy Tales* that Qiu Ping had just given her, the book still warm from his touch. On the title page was a poem by Gorky called "The Stormy Petrel." Hu Ni didn't quite understand it yet, but she knew Qiu Ping wanted her to be strong, as strong as the stormy petrel in the poem. The feelings of youth are pure.
Suddenly, Hu Ni sensed something; she could feel it. She looked up and saw Qiu Ping running on the desolate winter ridge, heading in the direction they had come from. The carriage crawled forward slowly, its hooves clattering. Hu Ni stubbornly watched the running boy. As the carriage receded into the distance, Hu Ni turned back, still stubbornly watching. The boy stood atop the mountain, facing the direction they had come from, standing there like a silhouette. That silhouette remained in Hu Ni's heart, a silhouette she had once thought she had forgotten, but in truth, it had always remained.
The man had already walked up to Hu Ni. He was clearly no longer the boy she remembered; he had grown up, his features matured, and his face was now a captivatingly handsome face. He was much taller and stronger. But he was still him, with the same eyes, eyes that held the familiar light Hu Ni knew. "Hu Ni!" he called out confidently.
The two of them looked at each other through the thin curtain of rain, as if they had never been apart. He was still him, and she was still her.
"Hu Ni, is it really you?" The man's voice was gentle, like Qiu Ping's, yet not quite.
"Qiuping?" She suddenly felt cold, so cold that she wanted to shiver.
The crowd surged forward; it was almost midnight. Hu Ni was starting to lose her balance; she was involuntarily swept along by the flow of people. "Hu Ni! Come here!" Xiao Yan was still calling from the other side. Qiu Ping grabbed Hu Ni's hand, preventing her from being pushed away by the crowd.
Hu Ni's hand rested in Qiu Ping's, as if in a dream. Following Qiu Ping through the crowd, Hu Ni felt transported back to the past. Qiu Ping led her towards his home, tears still glistening on her face. Her hand in his felt safe and warm. She stared intently at the road, walking carefully. Her only way to repay him was to avoid falling, to avoid causing him trouble, and to finish the journey safely. They walked quickly, her mouth, hidden beneath her green scarf, making panting sounds. He occasionally slowed his pace so she wouldn't tire…
Hu Ni secretly pinched her cheek; it stung painfully. This wasn't a dream. She glanced at the person next to her and met his gaze. Just like always, nothing had changed.
All eyes were fixed on the flag hanging high on the building. "Five, four, three, two, one... We're back!" The whole of Shenzhen seemed to boil over. Fireworks bloomed in the sky, people cheered and screamed, some even shed tears. There was no affectation or pretense, just natural excitement, a joy and elation that every Chinese person could feel.
“It’s back…” Hu Ni murmured, her face already wet with tears.
Hu Ni and Xiao Yan were completely separated. Hu Ni's phone was dead, so Qiu Ping handed her his. She dialed Xiao Yan's number, only to find it was switched off, probably also out of battery. Hu Ni handed her phone to Qiu Ping, and the two smiled at each other, a familiar and warm feeling as if they had known each other for a century.
Shennan Avenue was still crowded with people, and some people were even said to be walking all the way to Shatoujiao.
Hu Ni and Qiu Ping slowly walked towards Nanshan. They had so much to say, but they didn't know where to begin.
"Are you cold?" Qiu Ping asked after a long while.
Hu Ni shook her head and said, "It's not cold."
"I never expected to run into you here!"
Hu Ni smiled.
A joyful crowd passed by from time to time, waving small flags and making noise, releasing their happiness. Hu Ni walked along, following the person beside her. It seemed like a scene from many years ago, yet it was truly after they had both grown up, changed beyond recognition, to the point of feeling unreal. In that instant, the world disappeared again, everything changed into a silent background, and the two of them returned to the past, to that heartbreaking past.
"Qiuping!" Hu Ni murmured softly, her eyes staring blankly ahead, a sense of unrequited love and sorrow gripping her.
There was no answer. The person beside her simply took her hand, just like so many times before, nothing different. A mix of bittersweet emotions welled up in Hu Ni's heart, a bittersweet mix that swelled within her, churning and surging, finally overflowing from her eyes like tears. Hu Ni took a deep breath, stiffening her head, refusing to turn to look at the man who was no longer the man she remembered. She imagined him as he used to be, and herself as she was before, wearing a thick floral jacket and thick corduroy trousers, a green scarf around her neck covering her mouth and nose, only her large eyes showing. And so they walked, him holding her hand, wearing a navy blue cotton coat and trousers, slowly moving forward.
Passing a newsstand, Qiu Ping bought a newspaper, opened it, and held it above Hu Ni's head. It was no use anyway; after so much time, even the finest drizzle had soaked through her thin clothes, and water was already dripping from her hair, the droplets soft and gentle. Everything around her was gentle. Hu Ni held the newspaper herself and slowly walked forward, as if it were a journey without end, one she could walk on and on like this forever.
"Hu Ni! Hu Ni!"
Hu Ni looked in the direction of the sound and saw Xiao Yan's white BMW parked crampedly on the side of the road at the intersection, with the cars following behind impatiently honking their horns incessantly.
"Get in the car, Hu Ni!" Xiao Yan leaned out and shouted fiercely at the car behind, "What's the rush! Are you in such a hurry to be reborn?"
"Well then, I'll be going now."
"Okay! I'll contact you again." Qiu Ping looked at her, his gaze heartbreakingly tender. Time seemed to be spinning backwards, and she didn't know where she was.
Closing the car door, looking at the man standing in the rain, Hu Ni felt a mix of lightness and heaviness, unsure of what emotions were at play.
"Just bought it?" Xiao Yan asked in a low voice, her tone excited and full of curiosity.
"Let's get in the car together, I'll take you home!" Xiao Yan said to Qiu Ping in a very generous manner.
"No, thank you!" The man's pride wouldn't allow him to hitch a ride with the woman of his dreams, whom he had just met.
"Goodbye!" Hu Ni waved.
"goodbye!"
Qiu Ping suddenly leaned out of the car window, stopping the car from starting, "I don't have your phone number yet!"
"Oh!" Hu Ni exclaimed in surprise. She frantically rummaged for paper and pen, leaving a long string of numbers on the paper as if leaving behind the most tempting hope, and handed it to the man outside the car.
"goodbye!"
"goodbye!"
"...Just found this?" Xiao Yan asked excitedly again.
"no."
"Look at your slutty face! It's not true!" Xiao Yan chuckled.
Hu Ni couldn't help but smile, then burst out laughing, "What a coincidence."
"Are you really getting horny? That's rare!"
"You're the one who's being horny!"
"I am horny, I am horny all the time! Is there any woman who isn't horny? Would she even be a woman then?" Xiao Yan retorted confidently, "Is there any woman like you? A woman without the nourishment of a man's semen will easily wither and age!"
"...I can't stand you!"
"Seriously, it's so pointless of you to be like this. Is it really that hard to find a man who's easygoing and can handle anything?"
"...I don't have as good an appetite as you."
"You're just setting your expectations too high. Lower your standards a bit, and you'll enjoy a lot more of life's pleasures. Like Li Bing, whom I introduced to you last time—he's rich and good-looking too..."
"He has no class at all! No manliness whatsoever." Hu Ni thought of the man who was handsome and tall, but not at all imposing. It seemed that the man's lips were particularly red, which made her feel uncomfortable, as if many caterpillars were crawling all over her.
"Was that one manly?" Xiao Yan asked in a very flirtatious tone.
"..." Hu Ni was still basking in the joy. "It's Meng Qiuping, Xiao Yan. Can you believe it? I actually met Meng Qiuping here."
"It's that Meng Qiuping you told me about when you were little, the one who fought for you!" Xiao Yan looked ahead, the streetlights casting flickering light on her beautiful face. Over the years, she had undoubtedly changed a lot. The pretty little girl from before was gone. Now, Xiao Yan was elegant and refined. Looking at her graceful demeanor and expression, you probably wouldn't expect such words to come from her beautiful lips. "Really? So romantic! What is he doing now? Is he rich? If he is, then you can consider having a marriage partner, right? ... If he's not rich, you can at least have a boyfriend who's not exactly respectable! It's good to satisfy your needs. He looks quite handsome, but I don't know... if he's capable!" She laughed as she spoke, a very unrestrained laugh.
"How could you say that!" Hu Ni exclaimed, stopping her loudly. "How come everything you say sounds different?"
“Well, sometimes I wonder how you solve your problems? Don’t tell me you have no desires, you don’t…” Xiaoyan turned her face and looked at Hu Ni with a meaningful smile: “Masturbation?”
"You think everyone's like you, unable to live without a man?" Hu Ni didn't want to argue with Xiao Yan; she couldn't win an argument with her. Xiao Yan was never shy about talking about sex in front of Hu Ni, her friend, and Hu Ni never felt embarrassed. It was perfectly natural for two close women to share private topics. Besides, Xiao Yan was so "outspoken."
"After all, food, clothing, shelter, transportation, and sex are the five essential elements of human life. You're just so unrealistic."
Am I being unrealistic?
"Anyone who writes a novel in this day and age, and whose novel doesn't contain any sexual descriptions, is unrealistic. What era are we living in? Still doing such outdated things. 'Writer'? Anyone who sits at home is called a 'writer'."
Hu Ni fell silent; her living situation lacked persuasiveness.
An Encounter in the South (Part 7)
gold
Wiping away the fog on the mirror, Hu Ni carefully examined herself. Qiu Ping couldn't see the pure and innocent beauty she had in previous years, but she wasn't particularly unbearable now. Fortunately, she could still be considered beautiful.
She dried her wet hair with a hairdryer, then combed it, only to pull out clumps of hair. A sense of suppressed anxiety washed over her. She'd heard that many people in Shenzhen were losing hair due to stress. Hu Ni gathered a tuft of frizzy hair, tossed it into the toilet, and flushed it away. Looking at herself in the mirror, a sense of helplessness and sorrow welled up in her eyes. Hu Ni understood that many things in life are beyond one's control, like aging, and many others.
She went outside in her pajamas, turned off the light, and sat in the darkness, lost in thought. The buzzing of mosquitoes filled her ears. Hu Ni got up and fumbled to plug in the mosquito repellent; the small red dot on it lit up. Hu Ni turned and saw her phone charging in the corner; its indicator light flashed green, a waiting signal. Waiting for a distant, unknown call.
The phone remained silent. Hu Ni chuckled to herself at her own impatience; it was already so late at night, everything should have calmed down by now.
But sleep was impossible that night. Her thoughts were pulled back and then thrown back, a night of sighs and sorrow. Hu Ni simply sat up, lit a cigarette, and slowly puffed on it, one after another, the little red dot flashing in the darkness, a kind of self-delusional frenzy.
The large, dark blue checkered umbrella in the corner stood quietly, radiating warmth.
So she got up, turned on her computer, browsed the news, and then went to the chat room. In the chat room, Hu Ni was quiet. She didn't like talking, even to strangers. Here, she didn't know how to start a conversation or say anything strange or interesting. When someone greeted her, Hu Ni responded simply, then watched others chat; it was lively, but she was content to just observe from the sidelines.
As dawn broke, her body felt weak and exhausted. The ashtray was filled with many stubbed-out cigarette butts, lifeless shells after their burning. Looking at them, Hu Ni's heart trembled with unease. She quickly got up, washed her face, and did her hair. In the mirror, she saw a tired and haggard face; the youth of twenty-seven was fragile.
She meticulously applied makeup to her face: powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lip gloss. Beneath the makeup, a stunningly beautiful face appeared. Hu Ni had a premonition that she would see him again.
She poured some makeup remover onto a cotton pad and slowly wiped away her makeup, then applied her usual light makeup. She put on a white knee-length skirt, paired with a black fitted stretch T-shirt, her long hair flowing smoothly down her back, and completed the look with pearl-white stiletto sandals and a white crossbody bag. At that moment, Hu Ni looked stunningly beautiful.
I left home more than half an hour earlier than usual. I didn't want to stay home any longer, so I left earlier to avoid the crowds.
An Encounter in the South (Part 8)
gold
"Mei Huni, is the report ready?" A sales manager named Lin Xiao stood up and asked, sticking his head out from behind the dark blue partition.
Hu Ni was startled and said, "That's good." Her fingers moved faster on the keyboard. Work is very important in this materialistic society. After typing the last number, she printed it out and handed it to Lin Xiao.
Every day at work is filled with endless trivial tasks, often feeling tedious and meaningless. I always feel there's something more meaningful to do, but what could be more meaningful? Writing? But that doesn't guarantee I'll have enough to eat and wear. Having changed so many jobs, it's really just "I pretend to work for the boss, and the boss pretends to pay me." Perhaps it's because each work process is broken down into such small steps that I feel like I haven't done anything important or meaningful.
I made a few phone calls to confirm some details, and then did the written work. For just two or three thousand yuan a month, I've poured all my energy into it, leaving almost no energy for myself. I'm stuck in some insignificant position, doing mundane, trivial tasks…
"Mei Huni." Lin Xiao placed the report in front of Huni, interrupting her unfounded fantasies.
Hu Ni looked up and saw Lin Xiao's somewhat annoyed face.
"Look at you, how could you be so careless? Correct it immediately." Lin Xiao didn't scold her too much, but seeing the mistake she made was enough to make Hu Ni break out in a cold sweat. She had added an extra zero to the price. She had made a basic but serious error. Luckily, Lin Xiao hadn't submitted it yet.
Hu Ni blushed and quickly corrected herself, secretly scolding herself for her wild thoughts. She had always been very serious about her work because she knew that only by working hard could she ensure that she would have enough to eat and wear and that she could stay in this mediocre but vital position for her livelihood for a long time.
Every job deserves serious attention, no matter how tedious or simple it may be. If you don't want to lose your job, you have to take it seriously. Hu Ni told herself this. But Hu Ni was ultimately restless. Qiu Ping's image lingered in her mind—young Qiu Ping, the Qiu Ping of today, and the silent phone in her bag. Hu Ni's heart couldn't find peace. The day felt so long, and her anticipation was so urgent. Qiu Ping would call her; he said he would. Would he ask her out? Hu Ni was anxious and uncertain. Throughout the day, she repeatedly reminded herself not to have any illusions, not to have any hope. Throughout the day, she struggled with herself, feeling lost, sad, and utterly exhausted.
At 5:30, Qiu Ping's call still hadn't come. The phone lay quietly on the desk, like a broken machine.
While dawdling over packing her things, disappointment, a bottomless black hole, swallowed Hu Ni whole.
"Let's go!" his colleagues called out.
Hu Ni forced a smile, echoed her words, and slowly walked outside. He must already have his own life now, Hu Ni thought, then looked at the clear blue sky and sighed deeply. Perhaps this was for the best.
An Encounter in the South (Part 9)