"You're not happy."
"It's nothing, I'm just quite tired." Xu Chen was telling the truth—it wasn't just tiring, it was downright upsetting.
"Oh, don't work too hard." Yu Lele wanted to ask if you were going abroad, but she couldn't bring herself to ask.
After thinking about it, all I could say was, "I believe you."
"Believe me about what?" Xu Chen found Yu Lele's words inexplicable.
“I believe everything.” Yu Lele looked at Lian Haiping sitting next to her and felt that there were some things she couldn’t say.
What I really want to say is that I believe in your kindness to me, I believe in your promises, I believe you won't abandon me, and I believe in you with the same unquestionable acceptance and tacit understanding that my left hand has for my right hand.
"Okay." Xu Chen's voice was tired. "Lights out, I'm going back to my dorm. You should get some rest."
"Okay." Yu Lele replied, hung up the line, and was a little dazed.
Lian Haiping glanced at Yu Lele, stood up, and patted Yu Lele on the shoulder: "Let's go, disciple, if we don't go back soon, the building doors will be locked."
Yu Lele remained silent, then got up with Lian Haiping, packed her things, turned off the lights, locked the door, and left the classroom. The summer night breeze felt itchy and greasy on her skin. Yu Lele thought of Xu Chen and felt a faint sadness creeping over her.
Actually, it's impossible to "believe everything," isn't it?
The darn CET-4 (College English Test Band 4) has finally arrived.
Early in the morning, Yu Lele accompanied Yang Luning and Xu Yin to breakfast. The three of them superstitiously bought a fried dough stick and two eggs each, eating with long faces. Of course, they also each had a bowl of soy milk, because all three of them liked to soak the fried dough stick in soy milk before eating it—Yang Luning, despite being a southern girl, had also adopted northern eating habits under everyone's influence.
Halfway through the meal, Lian Haiping appeared. Yu Lele was startled to see him walk in from outside the restaurant.
"Hey, disciple, there's no need to get so excited to see your master. Shut your mouth, you, you, oh right, tone it down!" Lian Haiping laughed at Yu Lele.
Yu Lele was puzzled: "Why are you having breakfast? This is the first time in two years, isn't it?"
“Wrong!” Lian Haiping grinned. “I ate breakfast every day during my freshman year military training.”
Yu Lele ignored him and lowered her head to peel the eggs.
After buying the food, Lian Haiping carried his tray over and sat down in the empty seat next to the three girls. He looked at their trays and asked curiously, "You all eat the same amount of food?"
Xu Yin laughed: "One fried dough stick and two eggs mean 100 points, do you understand?"
Lian Haiping laughed and pointed to the bowl of soy milk and the fried dough sticks soaking in it in front of the three people: "Your 100 points are gone, is that what you mean?"
The three of them glared at him angrily, then continued eating without saying a word. Lian Haiping also ate his breakfast leisurely, occasionally telling jokes from the dormitory, showing no nervousness whatsoever. Yu Lele covered her head, feeling indignant at the stark contrast between Lian Haiping's composure and her own anxiety, glaring at him every now and then, but he remained unmoved.
The exam questions were difficult, but the essay topic seemed alright: "Write a letter to your friend introducing your city." Yu Lele thought for a long time but couldn't figure out how to spell "port," so in the end, her essay was at the level of a second-grade elementary school student's "picture description"—"My city is a beautiful city with a long coastline. There are beautiful houses by the sea, and their roofs are all red. Every morning when the sun rises, you can see the sky change from red to blue, and the sea also changes from red to blue. Girls like to fly kites on the beach, and boys like to play football on the beach. Welcome to our city, I think you will definitely love it here..."
It's said that many students didn't finish the exam, and Yu Lele remained silent after hearing this. This was because Yu Lele not only finished the exam but also had plenty of time left over.
Yu Lele knew perfectly well about this problem—her English was still terrible, so she couldn't answer many questions. The multiple-choice questions were the most troublesome for her because they involved too much grammar, so she almost always had to draw lots to answer them. The method was rather unique: after eliminating the one or two options she thought were the least likely, she would place her finger on the remaining options, silently repeating "Little cat, little dog, little hedgehog, guess who I am," two or three times, and then choose the one she counted to.
I couldn't help but recall a popular rhyme from many years ago: I am Chinese, why should I learn a foreign language? Even without learning ABCs, I am still a successor to the revolution.
On a whim, I put aside the already filled-out answer sheet and test paper and focused entirely on translating this rhyme: I am a Chinese, why do I need to study English...
When the bell rang, Yu Lele looked at her desk and smiled—the words were written on the desk. Although it was vandalism, Yu Lele thought that if she could return to school in a few years, she would definitely come back to find this desk that was engraved with class hatred.
I recalled Xu Chen's joke from that year: "Yu Lele, it's actually quite normal that you're not good at English. Think about it, you have such a crazy love for Chinese, so someone like you is really not suited to living abroad. So it doesn't matter if you're not good at English, since you're not going abroad anyway."
At the time, Yu Lele smiled helplessly and said, "Xu Chen, you really don't know how to talk nicely."
But now, she suddenly regrets it so much: if she had another chance, she would definitely learn a foreign language well!
Because, if that were the case, could she go with him to the ends of the earth?
If it's not too late.
7-1
On the Sunday evening after taking the CET-4 exam, Yu Lele accompanied her uncle to a business dinner.
The banquet was held at the Pearl Holiday Hotel, a five-star seaside hotel with a towering altitude and a revolving restaurant at the top. During the day, one can see the vast blue sea, and at night, one can overlook the city lights.
The banquet began with the melodious sound of a violin. The host gave a speech, the guests raised their glasses, and then there was scattered conversation in twos and threes. The buffet table was laden with expensive and exquisite dishes, so beautiful that they seemed more like works of art than food. Yu Lele felt a little dazed, as if this was not the world she knew, yet it was so dazzling that she couldn't resist.
Yu Lele, wearing a long dress, followed behind Uncle Yu, listening to him greet someone: "Hello, President Lin, it's been a long time. What have you been busy with lately?"
When someone asked who the little girl following behind him was, he smiled and pulled Yu Lele in front of him: "My daughter, Yu Lele."
Since the pronunciations of "余" and "于" are the same, almost everyone looked at Yu Lele with smiles and said, "Oh, your daughter is so big now, she's so beautiful."
Perhaps it was just a polite remark, but it still greatly satisfied Yu Lele's vanity. She held a glass of cherry drink; the pink liquid rippled, and looking through the glass, the whole world seemed to turn pink.
Smiling, she slightly bowed, saying "Hello, Uncle," "Hello, Aunt," "Hello, Grandpa"... Her white gauze dress flowed smoothly, the hem softly draped around her calves, rippling beautifully as she walked. Yu Lele could see a hint of admiration in those gazes, a subtle appreciation that could make any girl feel proud.
On stage, three girls in long black dresses played the violins, performing Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons," a melodious and graceful piece. Uncle Yu was busy exchanging pleasantries, so Yu Lele stood quietly by the window, gazing at the night view. Below her, the city shimmered with lights, and all the vehicles seemed condensed into tiny dots, looking like slow-moving beetles. Then, the melody of "Winter Largo" began, its flowing notes tracing a winding path, its mellow tune permeating the entire hall. Yu Lele thought to herself: Such a beautiful scene, if accompanied by fireworks and flowers, would perfectly complement a marriage proposal.
Just then, she suddenly heard people talking behind her. The names mentioned were so familiar that Yu Lele was still thinking: if she wasn't hard of hearing, then maybe there were just too many people with the same name in the world.
It was the voice of a middle-aged woman, calm, leisurely, and unhurried: "In the end, I still have to go abroad."
Another person asked, "Is his name Xu Chen? Is that the name?"
"Yes."
“His father…sigh…poor child.” There was regret in his voice.
"That's why I said he absolutely had to go abroad. This place is no longer suitable for him, but you know how kids are these days, they have so many ideas, we can't change their minds."
"It's better that they left. Even if they come back in the future, a lot of things might have changed. Besides, I don't believe that once they leave, they'll want to come back."
"That's hard to say. If it were when you and I were 20, would we have come back?"
"Hehe, there was never such an opportunity back then. You're really joking."
"Who hasn't been young? The only thing to fear is having no dreams."
"What are you thinking about? Are you in love?"
"Is that even a question? Otherwise, why wouldn't they leave?"
"Whose daughter is she? Do you know her?"
"What a coincidence! Do you remember that car accident from that year, the one that killed someone? The girl we're talking about is the deceased's daughter."
"How could that be?"
"Don't disbelieve me, they were classmates. I heard it from my sister-in-law. They used to be deskmates, but I never expected that they would end up back together after going around in circles."
“This…”
“I know what you’re trying to say. Logically speaking, this girl is really nice, and her upbringing should be good too. She didn’t make a fuss about some things, so it’s Xu Chen’s good fortune.”
"It's good that we're together."
"Is that so? After all, there's still a life between them. Does that mean they can be together without any scruples? I'm afraid they're still young now, and one day when they want to bring up old grievances, everyone will be at odds."
“It’s not that serious. You’re just exaggerating. Hey Xu Jianping, you haven’t changed at all over the years.”
"Sigh, I knew you wouldn't believe me. Actually, I didn't want to believe it either. I actually hope they can go abroad together. At worst, Xu Chen can go first, and then we can arrange for him to accompany her."
"Why don't you just have Xu Chen do the work?"
"Who knows what they're thinking? My nephew is now determined to play hide-and-seek with me, refusing to answer the phone and insisting on finishing his master's degree first. But given the situation in the US, is it really necessary to finish it? If he wants to go abroad, he should start preparing now, leaving immediately after graduating with his bachelor's degree—that's the right way."
"How could you bear to break up a couple deeply in love?"
“It’s not that I’m heartless, we’ve all been through this. When we’re young, we only have feelings in our eyes. When we get older, we realize that there are many things that are more important than feelings. But when we were young, we threw away these important things, and it’s really too difficult to find them again in the future.”
"That's true."
...
The conversation gradually faded into the distance and became indistinct. Perhaps the people were still there, but Yu Lele could no longer hear them.
It felt as if a giant hammer had struck my head, producing a deafening roar.
I vaguely heard someone calling: Lele, Lele.
But the voice was too weak—no, perhaps it was her own heart that was too weak. Eavesdropping was definitely not a good habit, Yu Lele told herself; she would never listen to others again.
Because, if you're not careful, what you hear might be utter despair.
So, Xu Chen, are you going abroad? What will I do if you leave? Or perhaps I should say, what will we do if you leave?
Yu Lele's mind was buzzing until Uncle Yu patted her arm and said, "Lele, what's wrong? I called you so many times and you didn't respond."
Suddenly snapping out of her daze, Yu Lele turned to look at Uncle Yu. Her face looked terrible, which startled him. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"
“No,” Yu Lele forced a smile. But then she saw Uncle Yu reach his hand behind him: “Come on, come and meet Aunt Xu. She just came back from America. She’s a very capable woman.”
“Mr. Yu, you’re joking again,” Aunt Xu said with a smile, her smile polite and dignified. “What a beautiful young lady. What’s your name?”
Yu Lele looked up, as if she had mustered a lot of courage, and a slight smile froze on her face: "Hello, Auntie, my name is Yu Lele."
“Oh, Yu Lele,” Aunt Xu said with a thoughtful expression, “Where do you study?”
“I’m in the Chinese Department of the Teachers’ College.” Yu Lele felt like she had many kittens scratching at her heart. She really wanted to say, “I’m Xu Chen’s girlfriend,” but she knew that would be too abrupt and impolite.
Aunt Xu's face showed no particular expression, still bearing that kind and polite smile: "It's good for girls to study Chinese. After graduation, they can become teachers, which is both noble and stable."
"Mr. Xu has been abroad for so many years, yet he still has such traditional ideas?" Uncle Yu and Aunt Xu joked. Yu Lele looked at Aunt Xu's face, and then thought of Xu Chen. Those eyebrows, those expressions, they really were a family.
The music started again, this time it was "The Butterfly Lovers." Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai loved each other, but were separated by thousands of miles, only able to fly together as butterflies. Yu Lele's head throbbed slightly; she thought to herself, hearing this music at this time is truly a bad omen.
7-2
The banquet ended late at night.
On the way home, Yu Lele remained silent. Uncle Yu, driving, asked, "Why are you unhappy?"
“The Aunt Xu from earlier is Xu Chen’s aunt,” Yu Lele said sullenly.
"Really?" Uncle Yu was taken aback and turned to look at Yu Lele. Her face was hidden in the shadows and could not be clearly seen, but the girl's melancholy was revealed without any attempt to conceal it.