"How did you know?" Uncle Yu asked.
“I overheard their conversation,” Yu Lele said with a wry smile. “I know it’s impolite to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, but I still can’t control myself.”
"What did they say?" Uncle Yu seemed to have already guessed that the conversation must be related to Xu Chen.
“She said she hopes Xu Chen will go abroad, right after graduating with his bachelor’s degree, to become a doctor in the United States,” Yu Lele’s voice lowered, “Uncle, is it really better for Xu Chen to go abroad?”
Uncle Yu fell silent. He reached for a CD, and music gradually filled the air. Coincidentally, it was "I Love You So Much." The song goes: "If I were to step back to being just friends, you wouldn't have to be in such a difficult position anymore. I love you so much, so I'm willing to let you fly to a happier place..."
"Uncle, are you saying I should let go?" Yu Lele turned to look at Uncle Yu, her eyes misty with tears. Uncle Yu sighed.
"Lele, I don't know what to say either. In this life, we have to make a lot of choices, but many times, no matter what we choose, we may regret it. Because we can only choose one way of life at a time, and there is no turning back in life."
"So what should I choose?" Yu Lele sighed softly, turning her head to look out the window. The city outside the car window was so quiet, it was a cloudy day, and even the stars could not be seen.
“Xu Chen is a good boy,” Uncle Yu said.
“Uncle, you talk to me just like my mom,” Yu Lele said, glancing at Uncle Yu.
“Lele, sometimes I often think, what would happen if I hadn’t separated from your mother back then?” Uncle Yu glanced at Yu Lele: “Of course, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to your father, don’t take it to heart.”
“I understand,” Yu Lele said in a low voice.
“I think if we hadn’t separated, I would still be working as a technician in a factory in this city. If I were lucky, I might have become an engineer, or even a small manager in the factory. Later, the company restructured, changed ownership, and I was laid off. My wife and children lived an insecure life,” Uncle Yu said thoughtfully. “Sometimes, what you love most is not necessarily what’s best for you.”
"Uncle, you don't approve of us being together anymore?" Yu Lele could hear the subconscious inclination in those words, and a clear sense of despair welled up like bubbles.
“I don’t disagree with it, I just think you should give him a chance to choose for himself. If he chooses to leave, then let him go. You are both free during this time. You can start a new life, and he has the right not to come back. If he also cares about your relationship, he might come back.”
"Uncle, I just want to know if letting him go is really a good thing for him?" Yu Lele's expression was a little anxious.
"I think it would be a good thing if he were willing," Uncle Yu sighed.
Yu Lele fell silent.
In fact, seeking an answer is merely a way to confirm certain judgments in one's mind.
Yu Lele knew very well that every word Xu Chen's aunt said had its reasons.
She also knew that, given Xu Chen's personality, he would never leave. Even if he knew that the path ahead was full of promise, he might not take it because of her.
Uncle Yu said: What you love most may not be what's best for you.
So—Xu Chen, are you the one I love the most, or the one most suitable for me?
8-1
During summer vacation, Yu Lele participated in the "Summer Three Visits to the Countryside" teaching support team in July, while Xu Chen participated in the medical team to the old revolutionary base areas in August. Both were good students who obeyed the organization's assignments, so they missed each other, further reducing their opportunities to meet. Walking on the road to the countryside, Yu Lele wondered: Who said that distance diminishes beauty? So, between herself and Xu Chen, even with such a great distance, would beauty still remain?
Lian Haiping, on the other hand, carrying a huge bag and wearing a Nike hat, sat next to Yu Lele with great energy. He kept talking the whole way, either begging for snacks from girls or telling Yu Lele stories of his childhood—his mischievous, energetic, and troublesome antics. Yu Lele listened, both amused and exasperated, thinking that if she ever had a son, she hoped he wouldn't be so naughty.
The road to the countryside was rough. The car bounced and swayed like a kangaroo as it traveled towards Jinzhai Township in Puyin County. The dramatic rise and fall caused girls in the carriage to scream every now and then. Yu Lele, suffering from motion sickness, her face pale, reached out one hand to grab the handle of the seat in front of her, while trying desperately to open the window for some fresh air. But the car was old, the window was rusted and wouldn't open, so she closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat, remaining silent.
Lian Haiping saw this, stretched his arm over Yu Lele's head, grabbed the car window, and tried to pry it open several times, but found it wouldn't budge, so he finally gave up. Looking down, he saw Yu Lele's weak and listless appearance, and even thought to joke, "Want to lean on my shoulder?"
Yu Lele kept her eyes closed and didn't speak, only shaking her head. Lian Haiping glanced at her a few times, then reached out and grabbed one of Yu Lele's hands, pinching and kneading the area below her left thumb. Perhaps he used too much force, because Yu Lele cried out "Ouch!" and opened her eyes, glaring at Lian Haiping with a pale face: "What are you doing? It hurts!"
Lian Haiping stretched out his free hand and waved it in front of Yu Lele: "This can cure motion sickness. If you don't understand, don't shout. You woke up the students sleeping in the back. You have no sense of public decency. Go to sleep, go to sleep, you won't feel dizzy when you're asleep."
Yu Lele didn't have the strength to argue with him, so she closed her eyes and gradually fell asleep. Lian Haiping didn't dare to move, only gently massaging Yu Lele's hand the whole way, the weight on his shoulder gradually increasing—Yu Lele eventually slumped onto Lian Haiping's shoulder and slept the entire way. Her hair fluttered restlessly, brushing against Lian Haiping's face many times, making him want to sneeze. But he didn't dare, afraid of waking her, so he endured it. In the end, not only was his nose numb, but even the right side of his body became numb.
And so, after a bumpy ride, we arrived at Jinzhai.
The people of Jinzhai were very hospitable. Perhaps the township government sympathized with these teachers from the city who were volunteering in the area, and knowing they hadn't experienced much hardship, so they booked a family-run guesthouse 200 meters from the township government building for the volunteer teaching team to use as dormitories. The guesthouse had two floors; the downstairs was for dining, and the upstairs for sleeping—the conditions were considered quite good for the entire township. The four rooms could only accommodate a maximum of 16 people, and the volunteer teaching team, including the young counselors, totaled 15 people, who were barely squeezed in.
A group of city kids, clearly unfamiliar with the rural world, revered even the pigs in the hotel's backyard as if they were Spider-Man. Tong Dingding, a junior student of Yu Lele, was flushed with excitement. She came running up from the first floor, stood before Yu Lele, and excitedly exclaimed, "Senior sister, I just touched that pig's neck! Its bristles are so stiff!"
Just then, Lian Haiping came in to bring Yu Lele motion sickness medicine. He frowned and looked at Tong Dingding: "Go wash your hands!"
"Why? No way!" Tong Dingding glared at Lian Haiping and complained to Yu Lele, "Senior sister, how can you stand senior brother? He's so fierce!" As she spoke, she raised both hands, as if to smear Lian Haiping.
Yu Lele laughed as she watched Lian Haiping and Tong Dingding playfully pushing and shoving each other. She then heard Lian Haiping threaten Tong Dingding, "I'm in charge of arranging the seating for lunch. Be careful, or I'll make you squat under the stove and eat like a little wife!"
Tong Dingding gritted her teeth: "Senior brother, you're taking revenge for personal reasons!"
Turning back to look at Yu Lele, she said, "Senior sister, don't want him anymore, just break up with him!"
The air froze instantly.
Yu Lele looked at Tong Dingding as if she hadn't quite caught on, while Lian Haiping's hand hovered in mid-air, his expression frozen. Only Tong Dingding looked puzzled: "Senior brothers and sisters, what's with those expressions?"
"Ahem." Lian Haiping coughed, breaking the awkward silence: "Junior Sister, don't talk nonsense. Your senior brother is a top-notch single woman. If you ruin my reputation and make it so that I can't find a girlfriend, that would be a huge sin."
Yu Lele smiled quietly to the side, while Tong Dingding looked bewildered: "How could that be? Aren't you two a couple?"
“You and I are a couple!” Lian Haiping tapped Tong Dingding on the forehead, indignantly.
Seeing that things were going badly, Tong Dingding took off running, not forgetting to say, "I'm going to wash my hands!"
Lian Haiping chased after him to the door and added, "Wash it three times! If you skip even one, you can forget about eating!"
After calling out, he turned around and saw Yu Lele standing at the table, taking a sip of water. He walked over and held out his hand: "Motion sickness medicine, just borrowed. You're going to the village this afternoon to do a survey, remember to take it half an hour beforehand."
"Will eating it make you sleepy?" Yu Lele asked Lian Haiping as if nothing had happened.
Lian Haiping breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that it was good that Yu Lele didn't mind, saving them both from embarrassment. He immediately reverted to his witty nature: "Anyway, you're always so absent-minded, it doesn't matter whether you eat or not."
Yu Lele glared at Lian Haiping, then smiled and thanked him, "Thanks."
"You're too kind." Lian Haiping waved and walked out the door. The moment his figure disappeared, Yu Lele's smile vanished.
Actually, if it were you, that would be so much better.
My strength doesn't mean I can bear everything. I am, after all, a girl. There is so much sorrow in this world. All I want is someone to be by my side at all times, someone to cheer me up when I'm unhappy, someone to lend a hand when I can't carry things, someone to accompany me to get injections and take medicine when I'm sick, and someone to lend me a shoulder to cry on when I'm tired.
That's all I need.
But Xu Chen, what can I do to stay by your side, from now until the future?
8-2
Teaching the children of Jinzhai—the school has 339 students and 12 teachers, and the highest level of education is a junior college degree, making him the only one of his kind.
Therefore, in the eyes of the principal, parents, and children, Yu Lele and her group were basically angels descended to earth.
During class, rows of little heads stood at attention, necks held high, motionless. Yu Lele stood on the platform, reciting the poem "The bright moon shines among the pines, the clear spring flows over the rocks" to the children. One little girl with rosy cheeks raised her hand: "Teacher, that's what our backyard looks like."
Yu Le laughed happily.
Being with children seems to bring a special kind of peace to my soul.
On Friday morning, Yu Lele and several classmates who didn't have classes went to the town market. There was a post office in town selling local postcards; the designs weren't particularly beautiful, but they were still very meaningful souvenirs. Yu Lele and Tong Dingding each bought five postcards to send to their teachers and friends. Tong Dingding, while writing, tilted her head to look at Yu Lele's postcard, noticing how neatly Yu Lele had written Xu Chen's address, and asked curiously, "Senior, is this your boyfriend?"
Yu Lele answered without looking up, "Yes."
Tong Dingding was extremely curious: "Are you classmates?"
Yu Lele finally looked up at Tong Dingding and smiled: "She's a classmate from junior high."
Tong Dingding looked at the address on the postcard and asked, "Will he come back in the future?"
Yu Lele was stunned, suddenly realizing that she had never asked Xu Chen this question before, yet it was such a pointed one!
As Tong Dingding wrote on the postcard, she said, "Senior sister, long-distance relationships are really tough. We all admire you for having the courage to wait so persistently. So many long-distance relationships have ended, and yours is truly a model of love. It must last forever, so that we can at least believe that fairy tales exist in this world."
“But, senior sister,” she looked up, her eyes clear, “I’ve heard you sighing all the way here. You must have something on your mind, right? Actually, a girlfriend is meant to be cherished. If you can’t feel that happiness of being loved, then it’s not love. Don’t take offense, but I think someone as good and outstanding as you could easily find any kind of guy. If you’re happy, then smile for yourself; if you’re unhappy, then just let go. There are plenty of fish in the sea, why be hung up on just one?”
Tong Dingding was always outspoken, saying whatever came to mind. Although her thoughts were often chaotic, she possessed a delicate sensibility and keen insight, always hitting the nail on the head. As Tong Dingding finished speaking, Yu Lele's pen froze in mid-air, her gaze fixed on the glue bottle. Her heart felt as if a weight had been dropped, creating a thick cloud of dust.
"There are plenty of fish in the sea"—she could still vaguely recall him saying, "There are plenty of fish in the sea, but a rabbit doesn't eat the grass near its burrow." Yu Lele had laughed then, saying, "Doesn't that mean we're like a rabbit and the grass near its burrow?" Now, those words still echoed in her ears. Yu Lele knew he wasn't indifferent to her; all the longing, happiness, and warmth she had felt were vivid in her mind. Seeing him was like seeing the sunshine, air, and water of the whole world. It was just that both of them were too strong, too reserved, too willing to shoulder everything themselves. Thus, they lost too many opportunities to support, cherish, and love each other.
Yes, before I turned 20, you were by my side, and love made even water taste sweet. But what if, many years later, you and I are separated by the Pacific Ocean? Does that mean that when I stand on the shore of my hometown and look eastward, even with tears in my eyes, I can't see your figure standing on the west coast of America? At that time, we won't be separated by a few mountains or 500 kilometers, but by two countries, by an insurmountable distance!
There are plenty of beautiful flowers everywhere under the sky, so who among us is whose beautiful flower?
8-3
Yu Lele was in a bad mood after returning from town. She also had a headache and went to bed early. It was eight o'clock in the evening, and many of the group members hadn't returned yet. Two boys were watching TV at a villager's house, four were playing basketball under a broken basketball hoop in the township government compound, and the teacher leading the group was enthusiastically joining in. The laughter from the basketball court could actually be heard 200 meters away at the hotel. Meanwhile, a group of girls were chatting with the hotel owner in the courtyard downstairs, washing clothes as they talked; the sounds of their conversation and the water were quite loud.
Yu Lele's bed was near the door, making it unstable. Getting in and out of bed would cause it to shake violently, and turning over would produce a creaking sound. Because the bed was so close to the door, it would occasionally slam shut when someone entered or exited. Tong Dingding ran in, and the thumping noise woke Yu Lele from her deep sleep. Tong Dingding turned around, saw Yu Lele, and exclaimed, "Excuse me, Senior Sister, why are you sleeping so early? Isn't this an old person's sleep schedule?"
Yu Lele waved her hand at her: "My head hurts, I'm going to sleep first. Don't forget to lock the door for me when you leave."
"Oh, okay." Tong Dingding, without a care in the world, locked the door and ran out again. The footsteps faded into the distance, and Yu Lele's consciousness began to blur.
Yu Lele woke up coughing, not knowing how long she had slept, her throat feeling like it was on fire. She groped her way to the table, and by the starlight outside the window, she spotted the thermos and teacup. She picked them up, poured herself a full cup of water, and gulped it down.
To her surprise, drinking it only made her cough worse—the water quality here was poor to begin with, and at least half a bottle of hot water contained sediment, a thick layer resembling plaster. Because she hadn't looked carefully in the dark, the remaining half-cup of this "plaster" readily poured down Yu Lele's esophagus, accumulating a thick, sticky, dry layer in her already uncomfortable throat. The already labored coughing returned with a vengeance, almost tearing her throat out. Yu Lele's drowsy state was completely dispelled, and tears nearly welled up from coughing. She staggered to turn on the light, put on her coat, and went to find water. After walking halfway down the corridor, she saw Lian Haiping and Tong Dingding, each with a bottle of beer, chatting on the stairs, drinking directly from the bottle without using a glass.
Without a second thought, Yu Lele snatched the bottle from Tong Dingding's hand, tilted her head back and gulped down half of it. She stopped coughing amidst the two's astonished gazes, then caught her breath and looked up at the two people in front of her who were dumbfounded.
"Senior sister...you have a good capacity for alcohol." Tong Dingding stared blankly at the bottle in Yu Lele's hand and stammered.
Yu Lele raised her hand and gulped down another mouthful of beer: "I was coughing so badly I felt like I was going to die. The water in the room not only stopped my coughing, but it was also sticky like barium meal. Thank goodness you guys saved my life."
Lian Haiping then realized, "I have another bottle here, do you want it?"
Yu Lele glared at Lian Haiping: "I'm not an alcoholic, why would I drink so much?"
Just then, they heard someone shouting downstairs, "Tong Dingding, Tong Dingding, where the hell are you?"
Tong Dingding peeked downstairs and called out impatiently, "You're here!"
She glanced back at Yu Lele and said, "Senior sister, I'm leaving first. You can drink this wine; he paid for it anyway." She then pointed at Lian Haiping and ran downstairs.
Yu Lele was holding a bottle of beer when she suddenly realized how ridiculous she looked—wearing a nightgown with a coat over it, and clutching a half-empty bottle of beer, she looked completely out of place.
Just then, she saw Lian Haiping sit back down on the steps and call out to her, "Sit down, it looks like you won't be able to sleep anytime soon."
Yu Lele thought for a moment, then sat down. There were sheets of white paper laid out on the steps, one on the outer edge and one on the inner edge. So the two of them sat side-by-side, one on the outer edge and the other on the inner edge, leaving a narrow passage in between, just wide enough for someone going upstairs to squeeze through. Yu Lele thought to herself, thank goodness for this narrow passage; at least it kept them a little further apart. Tong Dingding's previous act of calling a deer a horse hadn't expired yet, and every time she thought about it, she felt a lot of unspeakable embarrassment.
As if making conversation: "Where did you get this wine?"