When two people are in love: their views on things are almost identical. Because they share the same views, they cherish each other more and feel that this love is precious.
However, as one of them matures faster, their perspectives on things begin to diverge. Before, when he said, "I think about this—" she would nod in agreement and say, "Yes, I think so too."
Now, when he says, "I think about this—", she shakes her head and says, "I disagree with you."
She no longer idolized him, no longer admired him, and no longer loved him as much as before. In truth, she still loved him; she hadn't changed, only her perspective on things had shifted, while his hadn't. The differences between them grew wider, their views on things became increasingly divergent, and she began to reconsider whether he was the one to walk the path of life with her. Her love for him gradually changed; her heart began to shift.
What changed first wasn't love, but perspective. If you want your lover to never change their heart, you need to constantly get to know them again after they've changed. Re-appreciate them after they've changed. (He only curses you because he likes you.)
E said that she cursed a man in many languages that day because he kissed her.
He kissed her unexpectedly. Not knowing what to do, she cursed him. The man said awkwardly:
"I never imagined you could be so heartless."
Actually, she liked him a little: she had always hoped he would kiss her. When he actually kissed her, to hide her anticipation, she could only curse him insincerely.
A woman's curse is sometimes just a way of expressing her feelings.
She expected the man to call her that night, but he didn't, so she started cursing him. The next day, he called, and she was overjoyed, forgetting all the curses she had cast upon him.
He was late for their meeting, and she waited on the street, cursing him silently. Forty-five minutes later, he still hadn't appeared, and his cell phone went unanswered. She began to worry that something might have happened to him. She regretted cursing him, fearing it might come true. Forty minutes later, he rushed over. Seeing that he was perfectly fine, she immediately cursed him again:
"You damned bastard, I thought you were dead!"
She didn't really want to curse him to death; she was just terrified. She only dared to curse him because she knew she wouldn't actually do it.
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Chapter Three
Novel. t. xt. Heaven.
For the lemons there
Why do you like to travel to a certain place? Is it because you like the place's landmarks, scenery, people, food, or its history?
Why can't you just like the wind and clouds of a place? Maybe you like the sky and the sea.
A said that she once liked a man. She liked him because he had invited her to travel to a certain place.
She asked, "Why do we need to go there?"
“Because I love the clouds there,” he said.
Before she met him, she thought all clouds looked the same. After meeting him, she realized that the clouds in some countries are truly much more beautiful.
I spent a night walking through Las Vegas, and I loved the wind there. Many might disagree; some of my friends say the whole city of Las Vegas is like a lavish set from a Hollywood movie. Perhaps I was heartbroken then, and walking in the Las Vegas wind during that time suddenly brought me clarity, and I was no longer saddened. In my memory, there's always that cool breeze.
A friend who frequently visits Naples says she loves the lemons there. The lemons from Naples are as big as oranges and have a beautiful color. She goes to Naples just for those lemons. She spends so much money on plane tickets and hotel rooms just to see the lemons—yes, just for the lemons.
If you feel happy and content, why can't you travel across the ocean for lemons, for the wind and clouds? It's good that people have weight.
Legend has it that ghosts are weightless and can float to the ceiling or into the air. Perhaps what makes humans endearing is that they have weight.
We only feel too heavy or too light when we have weight, which allows us to busy ourselves with losing or gaining weight.
We feel important when we have weight. A burly man can often intimidate others; they'll run away without him even lifting a finger. Having weight makes you look like a boss. If you're too small, even if you're the boss, others won't recognize you.
We need to know the baby's weight to reassure parents. Newborn parents often compare their baby's weight in the hospital. "What? Your baby doesn't even weigh three kilograms? Our little one weighs four and a half!"
Having weight gives you the upper hand in a fight. A fat person can sit on a smaller person and crush them, leaving them no chance to retaliate.
The weight of a body adds warmth to romantic moments. A woman can sit on a man's lap, pressing down on his legs until they go numb, a feeling he'll never forget. A man with back pain can have his girlfriend stand on his back and stomp on it a few times for relief. A girlfriend who's too light won't have this kind of enjoyment.
Having weight makes packing much easier when traveling. Too much stuff in your suitcase to close? No problem! Just sit on it and use your full weight to close it instantly.
It's good that people have weight; I want to be a human, not a ghost. Even vows of eternal love need to be backed by real ability.
Occasionally, I receive letters from new immigrants, all young women who have come to Hong Kong from mainland China. They share a common problem: after arriving in Hong Kong, they have fallen in love with men from the mainland. Their families are very unhappy about this, especially their mothers, who strongly oppose it. The mothers cannot accept that their family has gone through so much hardship to finally arrive in Hong Kong, only for their daughters to go back to their old ways and fall in love with mainlanders. They brought their daughters to Hong Kong hoping they would marry a Hong Konger, and now their daughters have fallen for a mainlander—it's truly shameful of them.
These girls also have their own difficulties. They don't adapt well to life in Hong Kong, and they don't dare to aim too high for Hong Kong men, but they understand that their mothers are doing it for their own good. They want their mothers to break up with their boyfriends, but they absolutely can't bear to; they are devoted to each other. Some girls cited Faye Wong and Dou Wei as examples. It's said that Faye Wong's mother once opposed her relationship with Dou Wei, but Faye Wong ultimately married Dou Wei anyway.
Don't forget, Faye Wong is an economically independent woman. If you want your family to respect your love, you need to be financially independent. Financial independence doesn't mean you have a fixed monthly salary, but rather that you have enough financial resources to have room for regrets in the future.
Your vows are unwavering. They sound touching, but words without actions are meaningless. Since love is so great, then please put in the effort. When you're capable, no one will dare look down on you even if you marry an African native. Don't worry about whether to keep your mother or your mainland boyfriend right now. Making the wrong choice isn't the worst thing; the worst thing is not having the ability to start over after making the wrong choice. Baby, deadlines are for extending.
R said she met her first love seventeen years ago, and they broke up seven years later. During the ten years they were apart, they each started their own families. Two years ago, she divorced her husband and rekindled her love with him. He promised her that once their financial situation was stable, he would divorce his wife and live with her.
She loved him very much, but she was already thirty-five. She didn't know if she should wait any longer. She gave him a deadline, asking him to make a decision by the end of the year. After the deadline, she stopped waiting.
She wasn't sure if she had done something wrong. Should she give him a deadline?
Love should ideally have no expiration date. I cannot say, "I will only love you until a certain day." However, youth has its limits, and so does life. I long to wait for you forever, but I fear time will not wait for me. Love is boundless, but my life is finite.
R, I can't tell you whether you should wait or not; I can't bear that responsibility. There was a time when we wished that loving someone would only last until a certain day, and then, with tears in our eyes, we could leave. Since we can't live together, I don't want you to suffer. However, when that day comes, how many people can truly do that?
In love, so-called deadlines are just for postponement. I want to stop waiting for you, but I can't bear to leave. I know I'll grow old, but I can't bear to let go. Why are there deadlines? Because I'm afraid I won't be able to keep them.
Baby, those deadlines were just me deceiving myself. I will never fall in love with you.
Some people would happily say, "If I had to choose again, I would still fall in love with him."
Others say, "If I could choose again, I wouldn't fall in love with him." Those who say this don't necessarily regret their choices, nor do they necessarily not love the person enough. Perhaps, like those who say, "I would still fall in love with him," they deeply love the other person.
Love, too, brings pain. Love is sometimes a burden, a helpless situation. You've fallen in love with him, unable to let go. You didn't want to start, but you did. You're terrified, afraid of losing him. You feel insecure; you think the price is too high. You could leave him, but you can't. Every time you see him, your heart softens, and you can't bear to say goodbye. This will kill you. One day, you'll hate him, or he'll hate you. You know you can't be together forever. If you could choose again, you wouldn't fall in love with him.