Do you want to gain him, or do you want to lose him?
Yesterday, you wanted him; tomorrow, you fear having him. Yesterday, you feared having him; tomorrow, you fear losing him. To gain may mean to lose; only love makes one wistful between gain and loss. The more you eat, the lonelier you become.
What are some better ways to combat loneliness than eating?
Saturday night has no shows, and I'm bored at home watching TV. Without snacks, the long night feels too lonely. The best thing to do is keep eating potato chips, chocolate, and beef jerky.
Your friend made plans to have dinner with you, but then canceled at the last minute, leaving you to go home alone. On such a lonely night, the best thing to do is go to the supermarket and buy a bunch of groceries to eat at home. When you're so full you can't move, just lie down on the bed and go to sleep.
You had a fight with your boyfriend and have to spend the week alone. Bored out of your mind, you resort to eating cheese rings and ice cream to vent your frustration. When he calls to apologize, you regret eating so much. Why didn't he call sooner? He made you gain a whole kilogram.
When you're heartbroken, food is your best companion. All you want to do is eat, eat, and eat, using food to heal your wounds. During that time, I honestly don't know what the food tasted like. I only remember eating tons of potato chips, then wiping my tears with hands covered in potato chips, until my eyes hurt so much I couldn't open them. I only remember sitting on the bed, crying and eating chocolate non-stop, indulging myself as revenge. I only remember sitting on the toilet bowl, still holding a huge bowl of ice cream, eating like a madwoman.
Having eaten to this extent, I really feel a bit ashamed of myself. It wasn't until I realized my buttocks were bigger than a washbasin that the woman realized it was time to find another way to alleviate her loneliness. Let's just call it rhetoric.
A boy wrote to me saying his girlfriend said he was great, that she was happy and felt safe with him, but she just didn't feel love. She's leaving, and he asked:
"Can you tell me what the feeling of love is?"
Just think of "feeling" as a form of rhetoric.
You can add the word "feeling" to anything, but you can also take it away without any problem.
What she said, taking rhetoric aside, means the following:
"You're very good to me, I'm happy and feel safe with you, but I just don't love you."
Just because someone treats you well doesn't mean you'll love them.
She said she had a lot of fun with you, but I don't believe it's 100% true. Every girl says that when she rejects a good boy, just like when you go to a friend's house, you'll say, "I had a lot of fun today," when you're leaving. Saying that is to thank him for his hospitality, not because you really had a lot of fun.
She said she feels very safe with you. Of course, she feels safe with a man who loves her, because he gives more than you do. He's your guardian angel. A woman needs a guardian angel, but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll fall in love with him.
A couple who were once deeply in love might sadly say, "I don't feel that way anymore—" What do you think that feeling is? People who have loved each other can't say the words "I don't love you," so they resort to rhetoric.
Chapter Four
[Novel.t.xt^Heaven]
Love cannot be taken back.
Love cannot be retaliated against. Once you take revenge, you will only lose it.
Some women are foolish; they think that an eye for an eye can win back a relationship. Their boyfriends are having affairs, so they go out and find other men. However, the difference is that her boyfriend goes to a woman he likes, while she goes to a man she doesn't like. In her attempt to win back her love, she sleeps with a man she doesn't love. Her man doesn't come back to her. Instead, he goes further away. In the end, she gets nothing.
The woman was unhappy that her husband went out socializing every night after their marriage, leaving her alone at home. She decided to take a series of retaliatory actions. When he went out, she also went out to find entertainment, and she would come home even later than him. But was she happy? She was more miserable than before. Her revenge not only hurt herself but also damaged her relationship with her husband.
Choosing revenge means giving up communication. When you decide to retaliate, you're going in opposite directions. Given that, do you really think you'll ever run into each other again?
Women are better at loving and seeking revenge than men. However, just as water can carry a boat, it can also capsize it. We often get hurt because we are too good at loving and seeking revenge.
When you come to your senses, you'll realize that men never fall for revenge. They'll succumb to tears and smiles, yet harbor resentment and seek revenge from women. Men are better at fighting than we are; they grow up building aircraft carriers and fighter jet models—we can't compete with them. Adorable and hateful.
Someone asked, "What kind of man is the most lovable? What kind of man is the most hateful?"
From a user's perspective, of course, the man who loves me is the most lovable, and the man who doesn't love me is the most hateful.
He fell in love with me. So, even though he has many flaws—he's ugly, he's not good enough for me, he's presumptuous—he's still quite adorable. Because he has good taste!
He doesn't love me. So, even if he has many good qualities—he's handsome and has great prospects—he's still hateful. Because he didn't fall in love with me.
A man is most endearing when he overestimates himself, and most detestable when he's arrogant. However, if this overestimation goes on for too long, it loses its charm. If you don't love him, but he still clings to you, it's utterly annoying. Their charm lies in that fleeting moment of overestimation. The moment he falls in love with you is endearing. His first hesitant phone call to you is endearing. His first date with you, expressing his feelings for you, is endearing. After that, it's no longer endearing.
The longer a man maintains his self-righteousness, the more hateful he becomes. You like him, but he thinks he's some kind of perfect gentleman, pretending to be unmoved every time he sees you. If he's forty, with a little belly, and still so self-righteous, then he's doubly hateful.
For users, the most hateful man is the one who thinks he's adorable, and the most adorable man is the one who thinks he's hateful. He knows he's hateful, knows he can't give you the best, and that's why he'll treat you even better. What kind of man will he become?
I received a letter from a girl who teaches English at an all-boys school. This young teacher is very popular with the boys; they are all good at charming her and have excellent grades, making her very happy. She said that looking at such a group of adorable boys, she doesn't understand why they grow up to be unfaithful men, cruel men, men who break their promises, and men who break women's hearts.
Have you ever thought that when these boys grow up, they will also have the opportunity to become devoted men, men who keep their promises, men who are loyal and righteous, and men who make women happy?
When I was in middle school, I tutored a little boy. He was very cute, chubby, with rosy cheeks, but he always got zero in dictation and could never sit still. I often had to hit his hands with a ruler. Back then, I often wondered, what kind of man would such a cute boy grow up to be? Would he be successful? Would he love women? Would he be responsible? Would he make women happy?
When men are children, they are all adorable. When they start growing beards, it's also the time they begin to struggle for survival in this cruel and heartless society. They have to learn to survive, and they have to learn to navigate relationships with women. Perhaps not just women. Men also miss their youth. I couldn't find him last night.
I hate men who turn off their phones at midnight.
One night, you suddenly missed him and really wanted to tell him you liked him. You mustered up your courage and dialed his number, only to receive a voicemail message on the other end saying:
"I can't answer this call right now. Please leave your name..."
What could be more annoying than only hearing his messages when you're lonely?
Sometimes, he wouldn't turn off his cell phone; instead, he would transfer the call to the paging service. That night, you longed to hear his voice, but when the call connected, a monotonous voice asked:
"Who is looking for the owner of the phone?"
Should you page him? Your heart has already turned cold, and you tell the pager disappointedly, "It's okay."
If you're just transferring mobile phones to a paging service, then what's the point of having mobile phones at all? How annoying.
That night, you longed to cry to him. After much struggle, you dialed his number, only to be answered by a telephone answering machine. You said, "It's me..." and then hung up in frustration.
When I ran into him the next day, he asked, "Did you come looking for me yesterday? What did you want?"
"Oh, it's nothing, just some trivial things," you could only reply. Recalling those deep ripples...