She left, then went back, because she couldn't bear to leave the past. After every argument, she forgave him by recalling the happy times they shared. In her memories, he was a good person, so she let it go.
I couldn't stand him anymore, and this time I really had to leave him. But because I couldn't bear to part with the past, I gave him another chance. Whenever I had any complaints about him, I forgave him by recalling the happiest days of our past. In my memories, he had once been perfect.
However, even happy memories eventually run out. One day, you'll have to admit that those beautiful days are gone forever and can no longer be used to forgive him. At that moment, you'll be able to let go. How many men have gotten drunk for her?
The woman broke up with her boyfriend, and for the next few days, she couldn't reach him. She paged him, but he didn't answer her calls. She was very worried about him. Later, she learned from his friends that he was heartbroken and drinking every day.
She still loved him. After so many years, he had often disappointed her, and she resolutely decided to leave him. Knowing he went drinking every day, she worried that he would get drunk, that no one would take care of him when he was drunk, and that it would be dangerous for him to drive while drunk.
If you've decided to leave someone, why look back?
A drunk person will eventually sober up. Maybe in three months, maybe in six months. He will have his own life to live, and you don't need to worry about him. If you don't want him anymore, you have no right to worry about him.
Perhaps, when a woman knows that a man has been drinking for her, she will always feel a little guilty, but also a little proud.
His heartbreak led him to drink, proving that he still deeply loved her and was unable to extricate himself, resorting to alcohol to numb himself.
He loved her so deeply, and of course, she felt a touch of pride. What woman doesn't want a man to love her forever? She left him, but she didn't ask him to forget her. When she learned he wanted to use alcohol to forget her, she was heartbroken and thought he was foolish—how could he forget her like that?
When the couple argues and the man comes home drunk, the woman is always moved and immediately throws herself into his arms. She'll remember how many men in her life have gotten drunk for her. Don't regret giving up.
The girl said she broke up with her boyfriend of four years because she fell in love with another man. Unfortunately, this man was a womanizer, and she was just one of his girlfriends. She was suffering greatly in love, yet she couldn't bear to let go. She asked herself, was it wrong to give up a man who loved her deeply for a man who didn't love her?
She gave up a man who loved her very much, but she didn't love him. So why regret it?
No matter how much he loves you, how well he treats you, or how outstanding he is, it's all in vain if you don't love him. Why regret something you don't want? Since you willingly gave it up, you have no right to regret it. He waited for you so generously; he was yours to begin with. You chose not to accept it, so never regret it.
There are many things in this world that can be recovered, such as conscience, such as weight, but there are many more things that cannot be recovered, such as old dreams, such as the passing of time, such as feelings for someone. You once loved him, but that feeling is gone, and no matter how hard you try, you can't get it back.
Giving up on someone who loves you deeply isn't painful; giving up on someone you love deeply, that's painful. Falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back is equally painful.
Perhaps you're still young. When you're older, you won't be so foolish as to abandon someone who loves you for someone who doesn't. By then, you won't have much youth left to chase an unattainable dream. Mild guilt.
If you ask a man, "Have you ever wronged a woman?"
His answer was almost certainly yes.
Every man has a "list of women he's sorry for," a list that might contain one woman or more. He recounted his story in detail, and while others felt he hadn't really wronged that woman, he insisted, "I am sorry to her."
The woman may have forgotten him and never remembered what happened that day. Yet, the man carried this mild guilt for the rest of his life.
The words "I'm sorry" are hard to say, but easy to say. When a man is with a woman, he's reluctant to say "I'm sorry," but after a breakup, he always feels he's wronged her. Over the years, he might occasionally think of her, and the guilt will be mild, like a gentle sorrow, something he'll cherish for a lifetime. The fact that a woman made him feel sorry shows that he was once a deeply affectionate man. The fact that he has hurt others in relationships means that he has also been deeply loved.
A man feeling sorry for a woman doesn't mean he still loves or misses her. For him, a past lover is like a bout of measles or rubella in adulthood—it caused some pain, but it's long gone. When people reminisce about their romantic history, they're simply reminiscing about their former selves.
It's good to feel a little sorry for others; that mild guilt is a necessary part of life's vicissitudes.
Freedom of men and women
The television program was rebroadcasting "Husband, Wife, and Lover," written, directed, and starring Woody Allen. Allen and Mia Farrow play a married couple. Each has someone they love: Allen has a crush on a 21-year-old girl, while Farrow falls for a male colleague. Farrow is the first to break up with him. She doesn't know if the man she loves will reciprocate, but she's willing to trade her freedom for him.
This is probably the most endearing thing about women; she believes that using her freedom to win over a man is a complete dedication to love.
A woman might leave her boyfriend of many years to start a relationship with a man she's just met. She doesn't even know if this man will fall in love with her, or for how long. She makes this risky choice simply because she wants to be true to love. She can't be longing for one man while being embraced by another. Before finding love, freedom is essential.
Men don't seem to have this concept. In the play, Alan never considered regaining his freedom before pursuing the young girl. Perhaps for men, using their freedom to win a woman isn't considered a complete dedication to love. Conversely, using their lack of freedom to win a woman is seen as the epitome of passion and complete devotion.
A man will only consider whether to regain his freedom for her after he has won her his freedom, even at the cost of his own. If he doesn't love you, he simply doesn't love you.
We are accustomed to looking for the underlying reasons for things. When we meet a person with noble sentiments, we will study why they have such noble sentiments and then deduce that they were influenced by their childhood, that they had a good upbringing, that they wanted to compensate for their mistakes, and that they tried to control others by being kind to them, etc.
Why can't he possess noble sentiments without any reason? He was simply such a kind person. He was willing to sacrifice himself for others. He was courageous and righteous, so upright. He was born a good person, just as some psychopathic killers are born with psychopathic tendencies; it's not the fault of society or family.
Why can't we accept that others have noble sentiments, yet insist on finding baseless reasons to justify them? Humans aren't inherently driven by ulterior motives. Often, we only offer explanations for our actions after the fact, perhaps for reasons unknown at the time…
I love you for no reason at all. It's not because you're like me or because you're the opposite of me. It's not a form of psychological compensation. It's not because you have any advantages or advantages, nor is it because of how you treat me.
So don't ask me why I love you. If I could answer, those reasons would only be things I thought of afterward.
I don't love you, and there's no reason. It's not necessarily because you're bad or too good. I just feel I don't love you, and that's it. If there's a reason, it's just something I use to convince myself. Ten thousand years from now...
For a persistent suitor who refuses to give up no matter what, you have no choice but to honestly tell him:
"Even ten thousand years from now, I still won't fall in love with you."
Alright? Give up now? You forced me to say such cruel things.
If the other person still says, "No, think about it again!" then you can only say, "Yes, I take back what I just said. I want to say that even a million years from now, I still won't fall in love with you."
I can't stop you from loving me, but I'm telling you, your love will only sink without a trace.
Some things can't be forced. If you love someone and they don't love you back, it doesn't mean you're unlovable or bad; it just means they don't love you. Love is a two-way street, and even unrequited love should have a bottom line. When that line is crossed, it's time to leave. If one path is blocked, you should think about another, instead of lingering at the crossroads. If they don't want you here, there are other places that will. How do you know you won't meet someone better?
Even if it takes ten thousand years, perhaps a year later you'll have found someone better. Some people you'll never love in your lifetime, and some people will never love you. It's normal for some people not to love you; does everyone love you? If he doesn't love you, and he still won't love you ten thousand years from now, why are you still infatuated with him, still shedding tears for him? Wake up. Forgiveness also comes with conditions.
Sometimes, we forgive someone not because we truly want to forgive them, but because we don't want to lose them. To avoid losing them, we pretend to forgive them.
He had a mistress, and we sadly said, "I forgive you." We just didn't want to lose to the mistress.
So-called forgiveness is very pragmatic. There's no other choice but to forgive. Financially, you need him; you have to forgive him. Emotionally, you depend on him; you have to forgive him. Forgiveness, too, comes with conditions. However, this kind of feigned forgiveness rarely lasts.
You generously forgave him when it was most needed, when you were fighting with a third party. Once he's back in your life, you start to feel resentful. You don't want to forgive him; you can't deceive yourself. A relationship can start anew with love, but not with forgiveness.
When he says, "I no longer have feelings for you," can you still forgive him? Forgiving him like that would be incredibly unfair to yourself.
The girl, who signed her name as "m," said she had been with her boyfriend for eight years and had forgiven his infidelity time and time again. She didn't want to forgive him anymore. He was handsome and wealthy, and he had always taken care of her financially, but she no longer valued those things. She bought a new bed, cut her long hair short, and started taking aerobics and further education…
She spoke very well; I think she's a role model for those who have experienced heartbreak. When a man no longer loves you, you won't be happy spending his money. All forgiveness, whether genuine or feigned, should have its limits.