First, love makes you forget time; then time makes you forget love. Time makes people forget their dreams.
Time makes people forget not only love, but also dreams, principles, and friends.
A successful and shrewd businessman has probably forgotten that he dreamed of becoming a violinist when he was young. Now, all he does is calculate how much money he can make each day.
A man busy with daily tasks may have forgotten his dream of becoming a long-distance runner. He now gets breathless even climbing stairs, and his weekly activity is watching horse races.
A mother of two dreamed of becoming a dancer in her youth, but forgot about it after falling in love and getting married. After having children, she had even more excuses not to dance. Now, she can no longer dance.
Time can also make people forget principles.
His original principle was to tell the truth as much as possible, but as time went by, for the sake of making a living, his current principle is to no longer tell the truth.
His original principle was not to rely on others or attach himself to the powerful. But as time went on, he realized that struggling alone was very difficult, and attaching himself to the powerful wasn't so bad.
His original principle was never to compromise, but as he got older, his principle became to compromise as much as possible.
Time can also make people forget their friends.
Some friends, we haven't been in touch for a long time, even though we used to be very close.
Time makes people forget dreams, principles, and friends, yet some things we remember clearly: we remember that we once had dreams, principles, and friends. Unequal enthusiasm.
Relationships are strange. When you're deeply involved, the other person is detached. And when you're detached, the other person is deeply involved.
You were deeply invested in this relationship, but he always held back. You loved him dearly, but he didn't realize how deeply he loved you. Your passions weren't equal. In the end, he left, and you lived your life alone, heartbroken.
One day, in a certain place, you meet another person. He falls in love with you and treats you very well. This time, however, you're not fully committed. It's not that you don't love him; you just don't know how deeply you love him. After the trauma of your previous relationship, you've become more reserved. You're much calmer than before. You no longer believe in promises, no longer believe this person will love you forever, and no longer believe he can bring you happiness. The more invested he becomes, the more detached you become.
You know perfectly well that this is unfair to him, but you can't help it. Why didn't you meet him before you got hurt? Why didn't you meet him when you were fully committed to the relationship? Why did he appear when you no longer trusted in relationships?
It's not easy for both of them to be 100% committed.
Everyone has their own history, and it's best if we meet at the right time. When an invested person meets a distant one, the only outcome is a breakup. Next time, I hope the timing of our meeting will be better. A single man isn't a double bed.
Perhaps good men are just too hard to find. Men who are even slightly better off either have wives, girlfriends, or simply don't like women. Women of marriageable age desperately and hungrily search for single men. The moment they encounter one, they immediately picture a double bed.
He's single, so she has a chance.
A woman meets a single man, but she doesn't particularly like him, always finding fault with him. Her friend gives her a rude awakening, saying, "He's single! That's his strength." The woman has no choice but to agree.
He's single, which makes him malleable. She can change him. If he weren't single, nothing she said would make a difference. These days, good single men are hard to find!
Women suffer from "single man blindness," believing that all single men are looking for a suitable marriage partner. They're single because they haven't found their true love yet. Women naively believe that the person they're looking for is her.
Who says that single men necessarily want to get married? That's just wishful thinking on the part of women.
She thought she could capture a single man's heart, but little did she know that single men are the most tenacious; otherwise, he would have been snatched away by other women long ago.
A single, well-off man isn't necessarily a good man. A good single man doesn't necessarily want to get married. A single man doesn't equal a double bed. Better than never having met at all.
M, 25, had been in a relationship with her boyfriend for eight years, experiencing many happy and unhappy days together. The year he failed his university entrance exams, she remained by his side, supporting him throughout. The following year, he finally passed, and their relationship strengthened. After graduating, they each went to work in different industries, and that's when problems arose.
Every time they met, he talked about work, as if work was everything. He no longer said anything affectionate. He no longer kissed or hugged her. They never had sex; he wanted her to be perfect before marriage. He was such a good man, but now he frankly told her that his feelings for her had weakened, and he didn't want to drag her along any longer. He didn't want to marry her out of a sense of responsibility. She wasn't the one he was looking for. She cried, and he cried too. Neither of them wanted to part. She still loved him and hoped he would come back. But he no longer felt that way.
Her room was filled with things he had given her over the past eight years. He still cared for her, but he no longer loved her. She asked, how could she make him feel love for her again?
You and I both know that once the feeling of love disappears, it's almost impossible to get it back. Love is also a kind of radio wave, and these two waves used to be very strong. Today, the waves have weakened, and the other person refuses to receive them. No matter how strong your transmission network is, it's all in vain.
Two people who once loved each other, but whose paths diverged, can only end up going their separate ways. Everyone's path is different; some are fortunate to meet, others to part ways if fate separates them. Having met is always better than never having met at all. Leave a warm light on for him.
The girl wrote that on a certain day and in a certain place, she resolutely decided to leave a man. She told him:
"You're too poor."
She always wanted to live a life of insecurity with him, and she made a promise with him that one day, in some place, they might be together again.
After leaving him, she fell in love with someone else. One day, he came back to her. He now had his own business and some money. However, her heart had changed, and she could only hurt him again.
She didn't know if she had kept the promise made two years ago. If that promise hadn't been made, would he have worked so hard? Did he come back just to tell her that he had succeeded now?
Perhaps this girl should be thankful that she no longer loves him. Since she doesn't love him, his wealth or poverty is no longer important. A man will always hate a woman who looks down on him for being poor. He's only coming back to take revenge. If she still loves him, or falls in love with him again, she will have to endure his cruel revenge.
Never tell a man he's too poor. It's an unforgettable humiliation for a man, just as a woman can never forgive a man who tells her she's too ugly.
Even if you think he's poor, it's best to say it tactfully: "Our values and what we pursue are different."
When breaking up, it's always best to leave some room for maneuver. If you ever loved a man, you should leave him some self-respect, just like leaving a warm light on for yourself in the lonely, cold night. Leave these five words for women.
There's a difference between breaking up with a man and breaking up with a woman. When a woman breaks up with a man, the most important thing is to preserve some dignity for him. When a man breaks up with a woman, he should leave five words for her to say.
"Let's break up!"—These five words should be said by the woman. Even if you're the one who stops loving her first, you should still have the grace to let her initiate the breakup. What men usually do is become increasingly indifferent to her, making her feel bored, and then saying, "Let's break up!" A woman will be grateful that the man leaves those five words for her to say. She will always remember that she was the one who rejected you first. In that case, she won't hate you so much.
"I don't love you anymore." — These five words should be left for women to say. It's too cruel for a man to say them. How could he do something so cruel? Isn't that incredibly ungentlemanly? Besides, it's dangerous for a man to say these words; an angry woman might slap him. For both himself and others, men should be more courteous and let women say these words.
"I will hate you forever." — These five words should be left for women to say. How ugly it is for a grown man to cry and say to his girlfriend, "I will hate you forever." A man should only say, "I will love you forever."
"Forget me!"—These five words are often the ones men rush to say. Who do you think you are? Do you think I can't forget you? Your smugness is disgusting. These five words should be left for women to say, to let them regain some dignity.
A man can also say five words: "It's all my fault."
Chapter Eight
University Student Novel Network
The aftertaste of books and people