personne vicieuse

Chapitre 1

Bridge of Helplessness

Reply [3]: A foul-smelling river, stained with blood, meanders by. Countless souls reach out for help in the water, their heads constantly submerged in the blood. In the water, there are also small insects that gnaw at their bones. An old man ferries people across the river on a wooden raft. The souls passing by are trembling with fear. Those who are destined to cross are carried across, while those who are not fall into the river.

This is the crossing for the departed souls.

Those who had fallen in were screaming in agony, yet they still stretched out their withered, branch-like claws, trying to pull the souls on the raft down to suffer with them. They couldn't bear to see others have it easy.

I sat on the raft, tirelessly breaking off countless ghostly claws, which made them scream in agony. But the broken claws would immediately grow back, and they would reluctantly try to pull me back.

After crossing the river, a young man in white stood waiting for me on the bank. His white robes were so spotless in this underworld that they seemed even more dazzling, and he appeared to be enveloped in a layer of white light. He took my hand and smiled, "Naihe, I've been waiting for you for a long time."

I forced a smile: "Wuji, I didn't expect it would be you who came to pick me up again." Yes, when I was born from the River of Oblivion, it was Wuji who stood on the shore, took my hand, and pulled me out of the chaotic maze. Today, as I return to the Underworld, it is he who comes to welcome me again.

Wuji laughed and said, "With your departure, I am left all alone and feel very lonely. There is no one else who can talk to me as well as you do."

I asked in surprise, "Really? What about Black and White Impermanence? What about the Eighteen Kings of Hell?"

Wuji laughed and said, "They are very busy. The mortals in this world are foolish and difficult to break free from their ignorance. They are both angry and greedy, and countless people fall into the underworld every moment. The guilty are sent to various prisons to be punished, and the good ones are reincarnated. Isn't that enough to keep them busy?" He sighed again, "I am the only one left idle in the underworld."

Passing through a city filled with the sounds of sobbing and weeping, I wondered, "Where is this?"

Wuji sneered, "Have you forgotten? This is the City of the Wrongfully Dead. The souls of those who died unjustly are all here. They are unwilling to reincarnate here and insist on waiting for the souls of their enemies to come so that they can see them being punished before they can finally vent their resentment. But they forget that they have been waiting here for decades, suffering torment every day."

Upon closer inspection, I saw that some of the unjustly killed souls had swords stuck in their vests, some were pale and coughing up black blood, some had their limbs mangled beyond recognition, and some had white silk ribbons tied around their necks with their tongues dragging down to their chests. Suddenly, a pair of hands gripped my legs tightly, startling me. Looking down, I saw a woman with a deathly pale face, her body coiled with many venomous snakes, and her two bloodied legs dragging behind her. She cried out, "You killed me! Give me back my life!"

I was horrified: "It wasn't me, let go!" But I couldn't break free from her no matter what I did. She struggled to climb onto me, still yelling, "Give me back my life!"

I cried out, "Wuji! Wuji! Help me!" But Wuji had vanished without a trace, leaving me alone in this city of the unjustly dead. Countless wronged souls surrounded me, each shouting, "Give me back my life!" I struggled fiercely, resisting with all my might, crying out, "It wasn't me! It wasn't me!"

"Did you have a nightmare?" Mi Wu gently nudged me, and I woke up covered in sweat.

While wiping my sweat, Mi Wu laughed and said, "You did something bad in your dream and got caught, so you were so scared that you kept shouting, 'It's not me, it's not me!'"

I got up and stood there in a daze for a while. I had forgotten most of the scene in my dream, but I vaguely remembered that there was a young man in white standing on the shore looking at me with a pitiful expression.

"Hurry up and wash up. There's a big banquet in the palace today, and Master said he'll take all the young ladies with him." Miwu brought me warm water to wash my face.

Perhaps I was still shaken by the dream; I felt a bit tired and said listlessly, "Is it alright if I don't go?"

Mi Wu laughed and said, "Don't talk nonsense. It's rare for the master to take you out to see the world. If you don't go, you'll upset him. Besides, all the princes, nobles and ministers are here today. Maybe you'll catch someone's eye, and someone will come to propose marriage tomorrow. Then you can leave this dark place."

I couldn't help but sigh. Though my father was a high-ranking official, I was merely an illegitimate child, conceived through a secret affair between him and a maid. Now, though I had maids serving me and lived a life of luxury, I was ultimately unloved. I was often bullied by my older siblings, and in my spare time, my mother would take my anger out on me. My father simply let me fend for myself, utterly indifferent. Even my name revealed how lowly I was. Alas, alas, alas, what can I do?

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [4]: Lost in thought, Miwu had already dressed me up. Looking in the mirror, I saw a clean and refreshing oval face, pale lips, and deep, dark eyes like a cloud at midnight. My hair was tied up with a gold ring, and a small pearl was embedded in my earlobe, making my cheeks look crystal clear and lovely. The sky-blue dress vaguely revealed a touch of moon white on the undergarment.

Mi Wu nodded and said, "You shouldn't dress up too extravagantly, otherwise Madam and the young ladies will get angry again. However, you are naturally beautiful, and you are much prettier than them even without dressing up." Although she was a maid, she was like a sister to me, so when we were alone, she would often say "you, you" to me, which I found endearing.

When I went to the flower hall with Miwu, the ladies were already dressed in magnificent attire, as if they were wearing the sun on their bodies. Seeing that I was dressed simply and did not steal their thunder, they only snorted and no one gave me another glance.

Before long, his brothers and father also came in.

My father, General Fu Ting, was an imposing figure, rarely speaking a word. I felt nervous whenever I saw him and never dared to look him in the eye. In truth, who in this family wasn't afraid of him?

The family traveled by carriage and sedan chair to Liangji Palace.

My third sister, Jiao Li, and I rode in the same sedan chair. She was the kindest of my sisters, and her round face was full of joy. She whispered to me, "Nai He, I heard from Mother that the Crown Prince and Princes Jing Ren and Jun Zhe will be coming today. Jing Ren and Jun Zhe are both unmarried. If I could win the favor of one of them..." She squinted her eyes, dreaming of marrying into the royal family.

I know that my eldest sister Chanyuan, second sister Sefei, and third sister Jiaoli are all of marriageable age but have not yet been engaged because our father hopes that one of them can marry into the royal family to solidify his position in court. And which official with daughters of marriageable age doesn't think the same way?

Ryokichi Palace was bustling with activity, filled with insincere greetings and feigned enthusiasm. I kept my head down and followed behind my sisters, not daring to make a single wrong step, lest I be scolded by them when we got back. When we got tired of walking around, we rested and had tea in a pavilion.

"Hey, hey, who's that?" a lady next to her asked in a low voice.

"Which one?" another noblewoman asked, looking around.

"That one, from General Fu Ting's household, here it is."

"Oh, she's General Fu Ting's youngest daughter, named Naihe."

"Naihe? Why did you choose such an awful name? And your clothes are rather shabby too."

"Heh, didn't you know? This child is the offspring of General Fu Ting and a maid, without any official status. So..." "Oh, so she's an illegitimate child." The noblewoman immediately lost interest.

Chanyuan glared at me and said, "Why are you following us? Aren't you afraid of what people will say?"

Serphie also said, "Go, go, go find somewhere where no one is around. Don't get in the way."

I had no choice but to lower my head and walk out of the pavilion. I heard giggling behind me.

In fact, many children born out of wedlock were born to high-ranking officials and nobles, but their mothers were all concubines who had been formally married into the household. A child like me, born to a lowly maid, was actually even lower in status than a maid. If my father wanted, he could have kept me at home as a maid and never let me show my face. However, my unfathomable father actually gave me a title and status, allowing me to live a life of luxury like the daughters born to his wife. But he never gave me dignity or honor.

It was so hot that the ground was scorching; no one would want to come to the garden at a time like this. I walked to a tree and sat down in its shade, not caring if I got my clothes dirty. Even if I were clean, wouldn't they see me as dirty?

I don't know if it was because the sunlight was too warm, or because I didn't sleep well last night, but before I knew it, I fell asleep under this tree.

In my dream, it was that young man in white again who took my hand and said with a smile, "Come, I'll take you to see someone."

I was in a daze, having forgotten what had happened before, and asked, "Who?"

Wuji led me to a platform inscribed with "Platform of Oblivion," where a woman was distributing medicinal soup to ghosts. Those who refused to drink it were forcibly forced down their throats by ghost soldiers. When the woman saw me, she said, "Naihe, I've been waiting for you for a long time."

I vaguely remembered hearing this before, so I laughed and said, "Why is everyone waiting for me?"

The woman said seriously, "That's true, we were indeed waiting for you. Alas, how come you've become so lost since you left that you don't even remember us?"

I asked in surprise, "Who are you?"

The woman said, "I am Meng Po."

I pointed to the herbal soup in front of her and asked, "What is this?"

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [5]: Meng Po said, "This is the water of the River of Oblivion, and the soup of forgetfulness made from herbs of the human world. These ghosts who are about to be reincarnated will drink it and forget their past lives and be reborn peacefully as humans."

Before I could ask any more questions, a woman cried out, "I won't drink it! I don't want to forget this life!" A ghost soldier forcefully pressed her head down, shouting, "Stop arguing! Drink it quickly and be reincarnated!" The woman struggled, crying, "I don't want to forget! Why are you telling me to forget?" Suddenly she looked up and saw me, and tears of blood streamed from her eyes. She cried out, "It's you! I will remember you! In the next life, I will seek revenge!" She then pleaded with Meng Po, "Respected Meng Po, please don't make me drink this potion of forgetfulness. She wronged me too much in this life, and I will take it back in the next. How can I accept forgetting all this?"

Meng Po shook her head and said, "Foolish child, remembering these things only causes you pain. Why not forget them so you can start anew and be a better person? That would be much easier."

The woman cried out, "I'm not reconciled, I'm not reconciled..." She glared at me angrily, the hatred in her eyes turning into sharp arrows that shot towards me, striking me squarely in the chest. The pain made me scream and wake up.

I opened my eyes, and the sunlight was so bright that I couldn't see anything for a moment. A shadow leaned down on me and said softly, "What's wrong? Did I scare you?"

I quickly stood up, rubbed my eyes, and then I could see that it was a tall and handsome young man wearing a jade crown and a yellow robe. He was probably a member of the royal family. He smiled gently at me and said, "I saw you sleeping here and was afraid you would catch a dampness, so I was about to wake you up. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm so sorry."

I quickly said, "No, I just had a nightmare."

He asked, "What dream made you so scared?" He reached out and squeezed my hand. "Your hands were ice cold. You were so frightened."

My face flushed, and I couldn't remember what I had dreamt about.

He laughed and said, "Why aren't you inside chatting with the ladies and young women? Why are you sneaking off here to sleep all by yourself?"

I said, "Then why don't you drink and chat with princes and high-ranking officials? What are you doing here all alone?"

He paused, then threw his head back and burst into laughter. I realized my words had been abrupt, and my face flushed even more. He stopped laughing, looked at me seriously, and said, "I don't think I've seen you before. Which family's young lady are you?"

A wave of grievance washed over me. I didn't know why I trusted him so much. I said, "I'm not some kind of young lady. I'm just a bastard who shouldn't have been born."

He took my hand and said softly, "Why do you say that?"

Tears welled up in my eyes involuntarily, and I said, "I've never seen my mother since I was born. I heard that she was originally one of my father's maids, and later she somehow became pregnant with me. But my father didn't take her as a concubine; instead, he gave her away after she gave birth to me. Originally, I should have been a servant too, but for some reason, my father had my wife adopt me as her daughter and raise me and my sisters together. That's why everyone dislikes me." My voice gradually lowered and faded away.

He said softly, "But your father must love you very much, otherwise why would he do this?"

I was bewildered and said, "But he never even glances at me, and he doesn't say a word to me for a whole year. When the ladies bully me, he never cares."

He remained silent for a while, then suddenly said, "I know, your name is Naihe, isn't it?"

I was startled and said, "Is my story known to everyone?"

He smiled without saying a word, looked at me for a while, and then said, "There's also a flower-adorning ceremony today, did you know?"

The so-called "flower-adorned gathering" was originally a folk custom that later spread to the palace. So, at the annual grand banquet at Liangji Palace, all unmarried men and women, regardless of status, could present their flower bouquets to their chosen ones. This did not necessarily lead to an engagement; it was merely a way for them to express their feelings, and some even took the opportunity to get married.

I nodded.

He took a string of luminous pearls from his wrist and put it on my hand, then smiled and said, "You must come." Then he left.

The string of luminous pearls on my wrist emitted a soft glow, making my skin appear as white as snow. I then wondered why I had confided all my private matters to a strange man. Touching my face, I found that my previously cold hands had been warmed by his grip.

Just as he was lost in thought, a person suddenly emerged from behind the tree, laughing and saying, "I saw everything."

I was taken aback. I saw that the man was also dressed in a jade crown and yellow robe, with a handsome face. However, he had an old scar on his forehead, shaped like a cross, but it did not diminish his heroic bearing. I asked sharply, "Who are you?"

The man laughed and said, "Why are you so friendly with Di Zhui, but when you see me you ask who I am?"

Emperor Zhui? It's like I've heard that name somewhere before, but I can't quite place it.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [6]: The person in front of me exudes an evil aura, with an unruly smile. For some reason, he has an overwhelming domineering presence that makes me very uncomfortable. I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand and said, "Why are you leaving without saying a word to me? Do you think that just because Di Zhui can get close to you, I can't?"

My face flushed red, and I said, "Please let go, young master."

Ignoring his words, he fiddled with the luminous pearl on my wrist, saying, "This pearl is quite ordinary. I'll give you something more interesting." With that, he untied a chain from his neck and hung it around my neck without a word. The black gold chain had a delicate jade pendant hanging from it, engraved with the character "誇" (zhé). He laughed, "Don't lose it or give it away carelessly. This is my protective treasure."

Just as I was at a loss, I suddenly heard someone say, "What are you doing here?"

A new person approached, whose appearance was exactly the same as the previous one, but whose demeanor was calm and aloof, unlike the previous one who was so carefree. This person laughed and said, "What are you doing here again? You always ruin my plans." With that, he let go of his hand and left.

Later, he stopped at a distance, glanced at me a few times, frowned, and said, "He actually gave you his protective jade pendant?"

I hurriedly took off the jade pendant, but didn't know what to do with it.

The man frowned again and said, "Since I've given it to you, keep it safe." With a flick of his sleeve, he turned and left.

I was left standing there bewildered and at a loss. In a fit of pique, I threw the jade pendant on the ground. What kind of clueless person would force someone to give away some "treasure"? After thinking about it, I picked it up again and put it in my sleeve. What if that person came back and asked me for it, and I couldn't give it to him? Wouldn't that be even more troublesome?

It's been long enough since we left; if we don't go back soon, my sisters will probably scold us again. Sure enough, as soon as we got back, Serphie scolded us: "Didn't you go out and have fun without coming back? Father has been looking for you several times and couldn't find you, and instead we've been blamed."

I could only nod and agree.

A moment later, palace maids brought up silver platters filled with exquisitely decorated little flower balls. Each of my sisters took one, and Jiao Li casually slipped one to me as well. Chan Yuan glanced at me sideways and sneered.

Suddenly, everyone around me became excited. Jiao Li exclaimed, "The Crown Prince is here!" She stood on tiptoe to look around. I took a few steps back; it was best to stay away at a time like this. Then I heard Jiao Li whisper, "Ah, it's Jing Ren and Jun Zhe! Good heavens, they look so alike, I can't tell them apart."

I couldn't help but glance over as well, and, to my surprise, I gasped. Weren't those the people who had shoved the jade token into my hands, and that cold-faced one? So, they were the twin brothers, Jing Ren and Jun Zhe. Zhe—hmm, the jade token had the character for "Zhe" on it, so that arrogant and frivolous fellow must be Jun Zhe. And the other, cold-faced one, must be Jing Ren.

The Empress Dowager announced the start of the Flower-Wearing Ceremony, and the musicians began to play. Suddenly, the crowd erupted into chaos as the three elder sisters struggled to push their way forward, offering their flower bouquets to Jingren and Junzhe. Junzhe accepted all the bouquets without hesitation, quickly filling his arms with them. Jingren, however, arrogantly ignored the bouquets offered to him. I watched as Yuanchan's smiling face flushed crimson with embarrassment, while Jingren walked past her with his head held high.

"Naihe." I turned around. It was Di Zhui. He smiled and tied a small golden flower ball to my lapel. His flower ball was different; it was pure gold adorned with various gemstones. I heard the people around me gasp loudly, "The Crown Prince gave the flower ball to Naihe?!"

"Aren't you going to give me a bouquet?" Di Zhui asked with a smile.

Before I could answer, Junzhe had squeezed in and shouted, "Naihe's flower ball is mine!" With that, he threw the flower balls he was carrying to the ground, and without a word, pinned a red flower ball in my hair, looking gleefully at Dizhui, whose face had darkened.