Глава 19

"It's okay," Viviane said with a smile. "Alright, I have something to do, I'm leaving. Bye." As she passed by Yan Shu, she gently winked at her. "Bye, Yan Shu."

She knew that the result she wanted would appear soon.

Yan Shu looked at the contract on the table, then at Mu Yang, and at the argument that morning.

She was always the one who benefited; it was always Mu Yang who took care of her.

“I think Roger feels more emotionally responsible towards you. He wants to take care of you,” Viviane once said. “You can’t help him at all; you’re a burden to him.”

"You are not good enough for him, you are a burden to him."

"Am I really useless?" Yan Shu suddenly asked. "Am I really not good enough for you?"

"What did you say?" Mu Yang frowned. "I told you not to overthink things."

“I’ve dragged you down,” Yan Shu declared. “You shouldn’t have chosen me. You should have chosen Viviane; you’re from the same world.”

"Xiao Shu! I've told you before. This has nothing to do with Viviane. What do you want? I've said I won't tell you because I don't want to bother you."

“No, it’s not Viviane’s fault, it’s my own. You’re right, you don’t need to tell me. I won’t help you solve your problems, I can’t bring in any big cases, and I don’t have any money. I’m just a woman still dreaming of becoming a screenwriter. I’m not good enough for you. Yes, you should choose someone like Viviane.”

"How many times do I have to say it?" Mu Yang shouted angrily, looking at Yan Shu's closed-off state. "Can't you come out of your ridiculous little world? Look carefully!"

"I know perfectly well!" Yan Shu shouted. "I know we're from different worlds. I know no matter how hard I try, I can't keep up with you, with your world. You be the protagonist, and I'll be the supporting character. That would be fine. But why do you insist on dragging me into your world? I'm so tired, do you even know that?"

"I forced you to stay? You still have this damn ridiculous inferiority complex? You're still so stupid to think that?" Mu Yang stared at her. "That's probably the real reason you don't want children."

“Yes!” Yan Shu nodded. “You still want me to be like this? Our marriage was a complete mistake.”

Mu Yang looked at her, then suddenly sighed, turned his chair around, and said, "Xiao Shu, I'm tired. Let's both calm down. I won't be going back for a while; I need to stay at the firm. There's still a lot to do." He paused, "This is better for both of us."

Is that so? Has it finally come to say goodbye? Ignoring the pain in her heart, Yan Shu forced a smile: "Okay, goodbye." With that, she walked out of the office and gently closed the door.

Hearing the soft sound of the door closing, Mu Yang closed his eyes the instant the door closed: Was he really such a failure?

Amidst the strange looks from the crowd, Yan Shu smiled and said goodbye to the secretary, walked out of the office, and stepped into the elevator. The slowly closing elevator doors blurred her vision. Goodbye, Mu Yang. That's what she thought as the elevator doors closed, her heart descending, descending, along with the elevator…

It's so cold.

Yan Shu walked down the street carrying a small leather suitcase. When the cold wind blew into her collar, she couldn't help but shiver. She looked up and saw that the colors around her had silently changed from the lush green of summer to the pale yellow of today.

It's already winter.

It's so cold. This winter seems especially cold. She and Mu Yang reunited that summer, decided to be together in the height of summer, but decided to break up this winter. Yan Shu sighed, looking at the sky. Was it her mood changing with the seasons, or the seasons changing with her moods?

The next moment, Yan Shu laughed at herself for being so silly, actually thinking about such a question while spacing out on the road. Such a person was indeed a burden to Mu Yang, and she was really not suitable to be with Mu Yang.

She straightened her clothes, picked up her small suitcase, and continued walking. When she left home, she took the subway for a few stops; after the frequent stops and starts, she suddenly decided to go above ground and walk. So she did. Alone on the street, carrying her suitcase, she walked amidst the bustling crowds, while she remained as leisurely and slow as ever. She, in truth, had always been protected.

She really couldn't keep up with them, even though she tried her best, but...

I haven't been home for many days.

As Mu Yang sat in the car, he thought to himself, "If I hadn't happened to be in the area today, I wouldn't have driven here."

He wondered how Xiao Shu had been these past few days. Perhaps she had calmed down a bit. He sighed. Had he failed miserably, or was Xiao Shu just being too stubborn? Calming down would be good for both of them.

He glanced upstairs, thought for a moment, and decided to go up and take a look.

He's been incredibly busy these past few days. Things have improved somewhat now, and because of this, some secrets hidden beneath the chaos of the past are gradually coming to light. All the clues seem to point in one direction—a direction he doesn't want to think about, doesn't want to acknowledge: a man-made predicament, and this person…

Damn it. He cursed inwardly, hating this feeling of having no control.

The elevator doors opened with a "ding." He took a deep breath, composed himself, and quickly stepped out of the elevator. At his own door, he raised his hand to ring the doorbell, but changed his mind the next moment, took out his keys, and went inside.

The house was quiet, seemingly empty. "She's probably at work," he thought, since Xiao Shu's work hours weren't very fixed anyway. The house, which he hadn't been back to in a while, was still clean and tidy, showing the owner's care in its arrangement. He sat down on the sofa; the quietness in the house had an unsettling feeling, as if it were much emptier than before. He laughed at himself for being too busy these past few days, becoming a bit neurotic. After sitting for a while, he stood up, opened the bedroom door, and went to get some clean clothes.

He opened the wardrobe, took out a piece of clothing, then stopped, staring at the wardrobe in disbelief: Yes, it was gone. Xiao Shu's clothes were all gone! Even the red suitcase Xiao Shu had kept in the wardrobe was gone.

He strode towards the bathroom. In the blue toothbrush cup, there was only his toothbrush left. Turning his head, he noticed that the pale yellow one that belonged to Xiao Shu was missing from the towel rack.

Mu Yang froze for a second, then suddenly began frantically searching every room for anything related to Yan Shu. Her skincare products were missing from the dressing table in the bedroom, and her laptop was missing from the study. Finally, he sat on the sofa in the living room and had to admit the fact that had just come to mind: Yan Shu was gone.

I finally arrived at Xiao Wei's house.

Sitting on the sofa, Yan Shu stared blankly at everything in the room, thinking: Everything here is indeed different from my home, no, Mu Yang's home.

Carrying her luggage, she walked blankly through several streets and sat down on a park bench. Mu Yang no longer wanted her. This realization made every day she spent at Mu Yang's house painful. So, since she had already decided to say "goodbye," what was the point of staying? She tidied up the room, added some things to the refrigerator, even though Mu Yang hadn't been back for many days. Then, she stuffed her things into her red suitcase and left.

After going outside, I didn't know where to go. I walked a few subway stops, then a few more, and slowly ate fries and other junk food that Muyang used to utterly despise at KFC. Then, sitting on a park bench, I wondered where to go next.

Since Ah Sen moved out, her room has become an equipment room. A few days ago, Ah Sen enthusiastically said he wanted to convert it into a darkroom, as it's really inconvenient to go back now. Home is so far away, and she can't find a place to rent right away. Then, she suddenly thought of Xiao Wei.

"Have you eaten?" Xiao Wei, having just finished showering, took a carton of milk from the refrigerator. "Do you want some?"

Yan Shu shook her head: "No. I've already eaten. What about you?"

"I ate some lunch at work. Now I want to eat something." Xiao Wei said as she took a packet of noodles out of the cabinet.

"I'll do it." Yan Shu stood up, took the noodles, opened the refrigerator, and found some things. "Just wait and eat." After saying that, Yan Shu went into the kitchen, and soon a fragrant aroma wafted out.

Xiao Wei walked over and watched her busy in the kitchen, remembering how she had just sat at her doorstep with her suitcase: "What happened between you and Mu Yang?"

"Clang—" The spoon in Yan Shu's hand fell to the ground, the iron cookware making a crisp sound. She quickly picked it up, washed it clean, and smiled at Xiao Wei: "It's nothing." She paused for a moment, then said in a seemingly relaxed manner, "It's just a decision to separate."

"Separate?" Xiao Wei frowned. "Are you kidding me?"

“Yes, that’s right.” Yan Shu nodded. “This time, it was Mu Yang who suggested it.”

"Mu Yang has gone mad!" Xiao Wei felt a headache coming on. "I don't believe it." Just as she was about to ask more questions, the phone rang inconveniently.

"Hello?" She answered the phone. "I'm not coming. I'm so tired... No, I don't want to go out today... I just want to sleep... My last case just ended, you know I haven't slept for days... That's good... Yes, I'm not coming... I have a friend there... A woman... Goodbye!"

After hanging up the phone, Yan Shu came out of the kitchen with a bowl of noodles. "Inviting you out to play?"

"Yes, a few colleagues." Xiao Wei took a sniff of the noodles; they smelled delicious.

"If it's because of me, then you should go out and have fun," Yan Shu said a little shyly.

Xiao Wei, who was drinking soup, looked up and said, "Miss, don't be so narcissistic. I'm really tired, that's why I don't want to go out."

"Oh." Yan Shu nodded, then thought for a moment, "Xiao Wei, I'll move out as soon as I find a place..."

Xiao Wei looked up at her and said, "Why are you sending them money? You can stay as long as you want, but don't be silly and move out."

Yan Shu smiled and nodded gratefully.

Having eaten and drunk her fill, Xiao Wei sighed contentedly, glancing at Yan Shu who was watching TV. Alright, time to get ready for court. She walked over and sat down beside her: "Speak, what happened? You and Mu Yang?" She got straight to the point; there was no need to waste words with her.

"No, it's really nothing." Yan Shu shook her head.

"You dare to lie to me too?" Xiao Wei's expression changed immediately.

"No, that's not it." Yan Shu lowered her head. "It's true, we've just decided to break up."

"What happened with Mu Yang bringing it up first?"

"He probably got annoyed too, and suggested we all separate and calm down first." Yan Shuxi sighed. "He's probably tired too. He's always been the one taking care of me, in every way, and I haven't been able to help at all. Am I really that stupid, unable to help with anything? I'm happy just because we're together, but Viviane's appearance has shown me that I, as a wife, don't even have the ability to help my husband. Mu Yang doesn't need me, but rather a woman like you, like Viviane."

"You idiot! Don't you know what Mu Yang needs? He wants you!" She couldn't stand it anymore. "You still presumptuously left him. Don't you understand?"

“I know! I understand! Do you really think five years won’t change anything? Does the person who loved you five years ago still feel the same way now? Do you really, really not think this is a sense of responsibility? Okay, then even if Mu Yang loves me the same way he did five years ago, I will love him the same way I did five years ago. But marriage isn’t just about love! He needs someone suitable for him. I really don’t have the confidence to stand by his side. Xiao Wei, if I had even a tenth of your talent, I could, I could tell myself to continue standing by his side and carefully maintain this marriage. Because I love him so much!” Yan Shu cried, tears rolling down her cheeks and falling onto her hands, cold and icy. One tear, two tears… gradually forming a line. “I love him… but… but… it’s not enough to just love… I… I still can’t keep up with him… I still… I still can’t… I really… I love him… so much…” Yan Shu sobbed uncontrollably, leaning on Xiao Wei’s shoulder. Xiao Wei said nothing more, just letting Yan Shu vent.

A loveless marriage will end, but a loving marriage is said to be more than just love; so why should two people stay together? Xiao Wei comforted Yan Shu while thinking to herself, which is why she always believed in her choice.

"Look, Sister Yan, this is a letter and a gift." The younger sister looked at Yan Shu and suddenly asked curiously, "Sister Yan, why are your eyes so swollen?"

"I didn't sleep well last night." As soon as she said it, Yan Shu realized her voice was hoarse. She covered it up by saying, "I have a bit of a cold."

"Oh, I see. Sister Yan, you'd better be careful. A lot of people have caught colds lately," the younger sister said with concern, but then she forgot what she was going to say. "Ah... Ah Sen!" she screamed.

Yang Sen kicked open the office door and walked in, giving his fans a professional smile before coldly looking at Yan Shu: "Hey, woman, I heard you ran away again?"

Yan Shu looked up at him without saying a word.

Seeing that the two were getting along, the saleswoman immediately said, "Then I'll go first." No one paid any attention to her; the two were just staring at each other. The saleswoman had no choice but to walk out by herself, closing the door behind her. Actually, she was quite professional.

"Say it," Yang Sen said, pulling up a stool to sit down. "Are you serious?"

"Didn't you have a schedule today? How come you have time to come over?" Yan Shu straightened the table. "I'm going to the film set later."

"That's not important, compared to you and Mu Yang."

Yan Shu glanced at him. "Yes, Mu Yang and I have broken up."

"You really enjoy messing with Mu Yang that much?"

"No, it's just that I realized we weren't a good match, so I decided to end it. He doesn't need me."

"Is it up to you whether he needs you or not? What do you take him for? He took care of you since you were little, and now you're leaving him when he needs you the most."

"No, that's not it. What he needs is funding, projects, and people who can help him and allow him to showcase his talents. My departure can save him thirty years of struggle. Mu Yang also said he was tired, so be it."

Yang Sen paused for a few seconds, then asked, "You...you really think so?"

“Yes, Asen.” Yan Shu rested her head on the table. “Please stop asking. I’m really tired. Can you please stop asking about this?”

Yang Sen nodded: "Okay, I only have one question: If you love him so much, why did you leave him?"

Yan Shu looked up at him and said, "You'll never understand this kind of thing."

"Hello, I understand. Then it's settled." Just as Mu Yang hung up the phone, the door opened, and Viviane walked in, smiling, "Roger, I heard you've been living in your office lately?"

"Okay." Mu Yang nodded. "Is there something you need?"

"I just happened to be passing by and thought I'd drop by." She walked to Mu Yang's side. "Is that not even allowed?"

Mu Yang subtly brushed aside her outstretched hand: "Sure, you're very welcome. By the way, thank you for your help last time. Tell your Uncle not to worry, I'll definitely do a good job to his satisfaction." After saying that, he continued with his work.

"Of course you can rest assured. What are you doing?"

"Oh, it's my own, something that can be used as proof of credit."

Viviane looked at him and said with a smile, "You really don't have to work so hard."

Mu Yang just smiled and didn't say anything.

“You know, Dad really likes you. He’s always wanted someone to do things for him.” Seeing that he was still pretending to be clueless, Viviane decided to bring it up, and the time was right.

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