Соглашение Му Юйчэна - Глава 29
As I walked, I observed them. The man's face slowly came into view as the angle changed. I stopped abruptly, as if struck by lightning, and my wallet fell to the ground.
The man was Xu Lie, the one bending down to speak softly with someone, his expression showing no impatience whatsoever. I stared blankly at the back of the woman, so fair and ethereal, so beautiful as to behold. Meng Xue'er, who usually drew everyone's attention, was now looking up at Xu Lie. I could even imagine the focus and deep affection in her eyes.
A sharp pain shot through my heart. I reached out to call Xu Lie's name, but every syllable was stuck in my throat; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make a sound. I could only watch helplessly as Xue'er and Xu Lie walked away side by side, getting into Xu Lie's sports car and sitting in the seat I used to lean on every day. The car sped away.
I clutched my chest, when suddenly an idea flashed through my mind. I don't know where the courage came from, but I bent down, grabbed my wallet, and sprinted into a taxi, yelling, "Driver, chase that black sports car!"
The driver was startled by me, and only after I urged him repeatedly did he screech forward.
The car stopped in front of the familiar Royal Dynasty Hotel. I paid the fare in a daze and staggered out of the car. Suddenly, everything went black, and I didn't even have the strength to stand. When I came to, I watched the two of them walk into the hotel. Xu Lie hurried to the counter to register, and Xue'er followed. She said something to him, and then Xu Lie lowered his head. Their faces were so close; I could even imagine the intoxication Xu Lie felt when he smelled Xue'er's delicate fragrance.
My heart suddenly ached unbearably. All I could hear were Xue'er's words: "He is my first man... He is my first man!" I staggered and leaned against the black sports car that I knew all too well, covering my ears tightly with my hands, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.
Xu Lie! Xu Lie! You said you would cherish me for a lifetime, but were you lying to me? You said you no longer loved Xue'er, but were you lying to yourself? Xu Lie, I am your wife... I am your wife!
From afternoon until evening, I locked myself in my room, drew the curtains, and closed the door, plunging the room into complete darkness. Mr. and Mrs. Xu had no idea I was back. My eyes were red and swollen from crying, and my head was spinning. But in the end, all my tears ran dry, and I could only stare, my eyes aching, into the darkness, lost in silence.
What should I do? Should I let him be with Xue'er? But I can't bear to. Should I pretend I know nothing? But that would break my heart. Should I ask him who he truly loves? But... I'm afraid to know the answer.
A sound came from the keyhole, the door opened, and a blinding light flooded the room. I quickly raised my hand to shield my face. Through the light, I could vaguely see Xu Lie's slightly tired face and the look of surprise on his face when he saw me.
"Why are you sitting on the floor all alone?!" Xu Lie took a few steps forward, turned on the light, and then slammed the door shut. His tone was filled with barely concealed anger. "I was frantic with worry, and you came back without even saying a word. What were you thinking?"
"Xu Lie..." I called his name softly, my eyes, which I thought would never well up with tears again, becoming misty once more. My voice was hoarse from crying and had a strong nasal tone. I said, "Hold me."
Xu Lie was taken aback and blurted out, "What?"
I looked up at him, my expression sorrowful, my heart filled with despair, yet my eyes held an unwavering resolve. I whispered, "Xu Lie, hold me."
Xu Lie was frozen in place, as if he had seen a ghost, staring blankly at me.
I staggered to my feet, my legs numb from sitting with my knees drawn up to my chest for so long, and I almost fell. Xu Lie rushed forward to support me. He tried to pull his hand away, but I held him firmly, looked up at him with teary eyes, and choked out, "Xu Lie, I'm your wife, aren't I? Why won't you hug me?"
“Galan…” Xu Lie looked at me in astonishment, his mind a jumble of thoughts. “Do you know what you’re saying?”
"How could I not know?!" I flung his hand away and screamed at him shrilly, "Why would you rather hold Xue'er than me? I'm your wife, aren't I? I'm your wife!"
"Galan!" Xu Lie grabbed me and supported me, his eyes filled with worry. "Galan, don't be like this, what happened?"
I shook my head vigorously, tears streaming silently down my face: "Nothing's wrong! Nothing's wrong! I just want to be your real wife. Xu Lie, please hold me, okay? Please?"
"Galan..." Before Xu Lie could finish speaking, I reached out and touched his face, then suddenly stood on tiptoe and kissed his lips, silencing any words of refusal. My hands frantically and clumsily tugged at his shirt collar. Xu Lie froze, his eyes wide with astonishment as he stared at me so close to his face. For a moment, he stood there dumbfounded, letting me do as I pleased, forgetting to resist.
“Lie’er,” came the knocking on the door, followed by Xu’s father’s voice, “Vice President Wang from Lingyun called and said that Bingye has an urgent matter and asked him to inform you so that you can come over immediately.”
Xu Lie was startled and shoved me away abruptly. I stumbled a few steps and fell awkwardly onto the bed. I could imagine how embarrassing I looked, with tears streaming down my face and my clothes disheveled. Xu Lie looked at me with complicated thoughts for a long time before taking a deep breath, suppressing his heavy breathing, and replying, "Dad, I understand."
"Galan." Before leaving, he looked at me with the same tenderness as always and said, "Don't overthink it. We'll talk about it when I get back tonight."
I stared at the empty room, then walked step by step into the bathroom, letting the icy water wash over my body and my heart.
Xiao Yi
2007.8.21 18:29
Chapter 19, Heartbreak, End.
Chapter 20 Love's Destiny
Chapter 20 Love's Destiny
“...Young Master...Young Master”
I was startled and quickly came to my senses, saying, "Yihan, what did you just say?"
Yi Han looked at me quietly, a glint of dark green light flashing in his black eyes, a mixture of concern and worry. After a while, he sighed and said, "Young Master must be tired. We can discuss the trip tomorrow. Please get some rest."
I forced a smile and nodded, saying, "Okay." After a pause, I looked at him, who had already stood up, and whispered, "Yihan, you've been so good to... me."
Yi Han was taken aback, his thin lips pressed tightly together, the lip line beautiful yet resolute. He lowered his eyes and said calmly, "Young Master is the master, and I am a guard. It is my duty to be loyal to my master." After speaking, he bowed slightly and withdrew.
A soft sigh came from above, and Zi Mo's voice drifted into my ears: "He doesn't know that the person he loves has already died. This devoted love is probably going to be wasted."
What is Zi Mo saying? I shook my head, too lazy to think about it; my head was throbbing. I climbed onto the bed and lay flat, staring at the ceiling of the simple wooden bed in the inn, my thoughts still lingering on the scene of Xu Lie and Xue'er entering the Royal Dynasty Hotel side by side.
"Instead of keeping it to yourself and suffering, you might as well be honest and ask him directly," Zimo said helplessly in my ear.
'What should I ask him? Does he like me? Or does he love me more or Xue'er more?' I closed my eyes and murmured in the darkness, 'Zi Mo, I'm not Lin Yu. I don't have her confidence and decisiveness. I'm always so insecure. Just the thought that he might tell me, "I won't fall in love with you," makes me feel like I don't even have the courage to live.'
Zi Mo's deep sigh echoed in my ears, his voice tinged with a faint indifference and disgust: "Galan, open your eyes and look at the people of this world. They live in constant agony from war, their lives hanging by a thread, tomorrow perhaps facing death. Will soldiers trample their homes today? Will they have enough to eat tomorrow? Will their children survive? These are their daily worries. What do you think your pain is compared to theirs?"
This was the first time Zimo had been so harsh with me, and a wave of bitterness and grievance washed over me, bringing tears to my eyes. I quickly raised my hand to cover my burning eyes, not wanting him to see me and mock my weakness, even though I knew perfectly well what I was thinking.
“Galan, can’t you live without him?” Zi Mo sighed. “Your world is different from here. Women are strong and independent. Here, you should be living a more brilliant and dazzling life than anyone else. But now, not only can you not compare with Lin Yu, but even Chu Yunyan, Linglong, and Ruoshui are a hundred times more carefree and confident than you. Are you willing to spend your whole life relying on a man who may or may not love you, worrying day and night and suspecting him every night?”
"Zimo, stop talking." I turned over, gripping my left wrist with my right hand, forcing myself to sleep, but my pillow was soaked with tears.
My head was throbbing, and in my hazy sleep, I felt a hot, wet sensation on my neck, as if something was moving across it. Then the wet feeling slowly spread to my back, as if a pair of hands were gently unbuttoning my clothes.
I was startled awake, all sleepiness gone, and instantly became wide awake. My open eyes were met with beige curtains, and dim, yellowish-pink light spread throughout the room, adding a touch of warm and ambiguous color.
Is this a modern home? I turned around, my bewildered eyes meeting Xu Lie's smiling, handsome face. Then I looked down and saw my half-open shirt, revealing my fair skin beneath my pajamas. My face flushed red, and I stammered, "Xu...Xu Lie, what...are you doing?"
"Do what you want me to do." Xu Lie smiled faintly, propping himself up with one hand as he looked at me. His tall and imposing figure loomed over me, his eyes dark and deep, as if burning with an unknown flame. He lowered his head and gently kissed my inexplicably hot and trembling lips, saying in a low, husky voice, "Didn't you want me to hold you? My wife."
The words "my wife" made my blood boil. My face burned, yet my eyes were filled with affection. I was overwhelmed with shyness, yet also filled with a strange longing. Xu Lie's strong body gently covered mine, his hands softly but firmly removing my nightgown. Soft, moist kisses slowly spread over my body.
“Xu Lie…” I called his name softly, my voice slightly hoarse, “I thought… you hated me…”