Соглашение Му Юйчэна

Глава 139

He gently stroked my hair, embracing me without lust or possessiveness: "Galan, I love you very much. But more than love, I cherish the moment I can hold you like this, like an older brother holding his younger sister, or like a comforting hug between friends. For someone like me who has been lonely for a thousand years, whether I have a lover or not is not important, whether I can possess them or not is not important. Because only warmth and fulfillment are what my heart desires most."

Zimo... Zimo... You finally have a real body, you finally have a human identity. In this strange yet peaceful world, you will surely find your happiness. You definitely can.

"What are you doing?!" A familiar yet angry voice came from not far away.

Zi Mo released his grip on me, but still kept his arm around my shoulder, his voice indifferent: "What are you doing? Can't you see for yourself, President Xu?" Zi Mo's awakening wasn't just about his soul entering Yu Fei's body; he also inherited his memories and language habits, so he was exactly like a modern person without needing to learn. Although I felt very sorry for Auntie, I believed this was the best ending I could hope for.

A gust of wind swept by, and my hand was firmly grasped; the scorching heat could be felt through layers of thick clothing. Xu Lie tightened his grip, and I stumbled and fell into his arms, where he held me tightly.

“She’s my wife!” Xu Lie said, emphasizing each word. “You’d better know your place.”

“Ha…” I couldn’t see Zi Mo’s expression, but I could imagine his mocking smile. “Are you sure she’s still your wife? After you watched her being humiliated, after you left with another woman, after you caused her to lose her child and her sight?”

Xu Lie's embrace stiffened, but he refused to let go. Suddenly, he whispered in my ear, "Did you tell him?"

His voice was a little hoarse: "From the time I met you until now, you haven't been willing to say anything to me, but only want to cry to him?"

I remained silent, then said calmly, "Let go." It was only after we reunited that I realized Xu Lie was actually incredibly strong. I had always thought he was just a rich young master who worked as a bodyguard!

"I won't let go!" Xu Lie growled, gripping my waist with one hand and pressing my head against his chest with the other. "I won't let go no matter what!"

I heard Zi Mo sit down on the sofa, his voice cold and gloomy: "Xu Lie, the Xu Lie whose name I've long admired. When she loved you, you treated her like dirt; now that you realize you can't live without her, you domineeringly try to snatch her back. Too bad! Do you think she's still that silly girl who only had eyes for you? Do you think that after hurting someone, you can just throw her a bone and beckon her hand, and she'll obediently come back to you?"

"Han Zimo!" I said, suppressing the throbbing veins on my forehead. "Are you tired of having it too easy as a human?"

But Zi Mo ignored me, his tone suddenly changing to a chilling glint: "You already know perfectly well that everything Jia Lan said back then was true, right? To still deceive yourself like this, I truly doubt how someone with such low emotional intelligence can survive in the business world. Do you know how much suffering Jia Lan endured? When she was isolated and helpless in the desert, when she was burdened with the guilt of causing someone's death, when she watched helplessly as others sacrificed their lives to save her, what were you doing? You were childishly making her prove her love for you!"

Zi Mo paused, then sneered, "Don't put on that incredulous look. I'm not Nie Yufei at all, and I don't belong to this world. If you truly love her and trust her, you should know that Lin Jialan was someone who was born unable to lie, especially to the people she loved! She relied on you and loved you, which is why she told you about her unbelievable experiences and even knelt down to beg you to stay. But what did you give her in return? Have you ever considered that, when that bastard insulted her, who was the one who suffered the most—you, the husband who ran away, or her, who faced the bloodshed?!"

Xu Lie loosened his grip on me inch by inch. Although his body was still warm, a bone-chilling cold emanated from within. He asked in a trembling voice, "Is all of that true?" He was asking me, "What about becoming a prime minister in another world, entering the desert to save people? Those unbelievable explanations, are they all true?"

I heard Zi Mo stand up, pull me to his side, and then punch Xu Lie in the face. His voice was still gentle, yet tinged with coldness and anger: "Ha, you abandoned her and left. You lost the child and went blind. Do you know how she became strong after all those wounds? Now that she can stand tall on her own, she can finally accept someone else's love, and you appear before her, laying bare your painful past, and you still expect her to accept you? Xu Lie, do you think the whole world revolves around you?"

My lips twitched: "That's the entire Earth. Please, when you receive knowledge, receive it in a more complete way."

"Hey, girl!" Zi Mo tugged at my hair and laughed, "Can't you at least know how to be grateful? I'm standing up for you."

I paused for a moment, then looked at Xu Lie and Zi Mo, and said quietly, "Xu Lie, I was the one who provoked you first. It wasn't entirely your fault back then. After all, I was the one who caused the trouble in ancient times. I killed a lot of people in that world and messed up my own marriage. It's normal that you, who have been mentally fragile because of me for so long, don't believe me."

“But Xu Lie.” My tone shifted abruptly, becoming unusually resolute. “We really can’t go back. The one I love is no longer you, and the one you love may not be the one I am now. You love the innocent and naive Lin Jialan of the past; you just want to find the shadow of that petite and dependent Lin Jialan in me. However, I can tell you clearly: the me of today is so cunning that even you can’t compare…”

"No!" Xu Lie interrupted me gruffly, "Galan! You are you! You are my beloved wife, and no matter how many years have passed or what has happened, that will never change!"

I took a deep breath, remained silent for a long time, and then suddenly said, "Zimo, could you go to my brother's room and bring out the Chinese chess board for me?"

Zimo placed the chessboard on the sofa and helped me sit down beside him. I fumbled around to pour out all the chess pieces, then used my fingertips to trace the characters on each piece before placing them on the chessboard.

I raised my head and said calmly, "Xu Lie, do you remember the first time we played chess?"

Seeing that he didn't answer, I smiled faintly and said, "I do remember. Your evaluation of me back then was: occasionally you can make a brilliant move, but unfortunately you don't understand strategy, you are indecisive, and most importantly, you can be shameless."

My smile vanished, and I forced a calm, aloof expression onto my face: "Let's play another round. Xu Lie, after this round, you'll know the difference between me now and me back then."

“It’s only been six months…” Xu Lie said as he approached me, “and your eyes…”

I smiled gently and shook my head: "Xu Lie, you're wrong, it's not six months. For me, it's been three years and six months since I left you."

I heard a gasp, so I added, "I've already spent three years in that world. Do you want to know how I survived those three years in ancient times? You'll understand after this game of chess is over."

The game finally began. In the empty living room, all we could hear were the sounds of our breathing, sometimes shallow, sometimes heavy, the crackling of the fireplace flames, and the clattering of the chess pieces as they fell.

I can't see the chessboard, I can't see the pieces, yet my mind clearly conjures up a scene like a war. Rooks rumble and horses neigh, each move calculated; feinting one way while secretly advancing another; strategizing and planning, making moves with no room for regret.

"The rook is at the bottom. Checkmate!" With a "snap" as Zi Mo picked up and put down my piece, I leaned back on the sofa as if on a battlefield, calm and composed. "Xu Lie, you've lost."

His breath suddenly became as light as a whisper, as if he had lost all vitality. It was a fear that had suddenly emptied all his beliefs and convictions, an escape from the face of reality, a despair as if all hope had been shattered.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. I didn't really want to say goodbye to Xu Lie in such a cruel way. I didn't really want Xu Lie to know about my growth trajectory. I knew very well that such a naked declaration of war and defeat was the greatest revenge against him, and I didn't want revenge.

However, I don't want to dwell on past feelings and pain anymore. I've finally managed to be with Yihan, and I still have so many ups and downs to face. I cherish this hard-won happiness too much, and I don't have the energy to deal with Xu Lie's feelings anymore. So, I can only choose this cruel way to say I don't love you.

I heard Xu Lie stand up, his movements steady but his steps unsteady. He said in a calm voice, "Galan, I might not be back tonight."

I said, "Okay."

He said softly, "Take good care of yourself. Don't get hurt again."

I said, "Okay."

He took a few steps, and when he reached the door, he spoke again, his voice no longer calm: "Galan, do you really have nothing to say to me?"

I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them again: "No more."

He was silent, then chuckled self-deprecatingly twice, turned and left. The sounds of footsteps, doors opening and closing, and the cold wind rushing in all faded into the distance.

As I fiddled with the chess pieces on the board, I realized my legs were numb and my hands were ice cold when I tried to get up.

“Galan, have you ever thought about this?” Zi Mo sighed. “If he comes to his senses and realizes that he still loves you as you are now, then you might never be able to get rid of him for the rest of your life. For a proud and pragmatic person like him, things like a romance in another world or the difference between soul and body are insignificant. As long as you haven’t fallen in love with someone else in this world, he won’t lose the confidence to win you back.”

I rubbed my forehead with my cold fingers: "It's because he's too proud and too pragmatic that he won't fall in love with me now. Both Xue'er and Lin Jialan back then had one thing in common: they were both gentle and pure. Xu Lie is used to playing the role of protector, used to sheltering his lover under his wings. It's because he's been in the cutthroat business world for too long that he fell in love with Lin Jialan, who was so single-mindedly infatuated with him back then. But Lin Yu now is no less cunning and shrewd than him. His pride and self-respect will not allow him to fall in love with me now."

Zi Mo took my warm hand and gently massaged my head. After a long while, he suddenly smiled silently and said, "Galan, do you know? Your attitude towards Xu Lie now is very similar to how I was when we first met. It seems like you're rational and indifferent, yet you also seem to have everything calculated and under your control. But we've both forgotten one thing. The only thing in this world that cannot be calculated or controlled is the human heart. Can the feelings that arise from the human heart really be stopped just by saying you don't love them?"

I silently placed the chess piece on the board with a crisp, loud slap: "Zimo, want to play a game?"

Xiao Yi

2008.3.19 20:09