Соглашение Му Юйчэна

Глава 205

I picked up the diary and placed it in the sunlight, about to examine it closely. Suddenly, I noticed several stacked sheets of paper fall out from the last page of the notebook. I quickly picked them up and opened it, and the five strikingly clear, neat Song typeface characters hit me squarely in the chest.

Divorce agreement!

Why is there a divorce agreement in my diary?

My hands were trembling with cold, and I vaguely guessed what was going on, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I gently turned to the last page of the diary, a page filled with densely packed words, all written in pen with the characters "Galan" (伽蓝), as if those two characters weren't written on paper, but rather etched into someone's heart.

My hand trembled slightly as I turned the page, and the image of Xu Lie carefully writing my name stroke by stroke in this diary flashed through my mind. He must have seen the previous entries, seen my infatuation with him, seen our past sweetness, and also seen the endless regret and remorse that followed…

I was immersed in a mix of sadness and joy, and time flew by. When I suddenly came to my senses, I realized that the song on my computer had been changed to Eason Chan's "Love Transfer".

I held the notebook with my left hand and slowly flipped through the pages from back to front with my right. The next few pages were blank, and I absentmindedly flipped through them. Finally, I found familiar handwriting on a page in the middle of the thick diary.

I stroked the pure black, powerful characters, as if stroking Xu Lie's sharply defined face and the most vivid and profound memory of his life.

After lingering in countless shop windows and staying in countless hotels, one will realize that separation is not unjust.

Are feelings meant to be browsed, or to be treasured, so that every day is unforgettable...?

Garan:

Before writing this letter, I kept wondering what your expression would be when you saw it? Surprised? Sighing? Or relieved?

The divorce agreement is already signed by both of us; you just need to have it notarized by a lawyer. From now on, we have nothing to do with each other. Galan, from now on, we have nothing to do with each other…

This morning, I waited for you downstairs, swallowing my pride and giving up my principles to compromise with you. Galan, I love you, so much so that I'd fight another man for you, so much so that even knowing you love someone else, I still want to keep you by my side. I don't even care what you think or love in that world, as long as you can wholeheartedly watch over me and stay with me here.

But when I saw the marks he left on you, I realized how terribly wrong I had been! How could I have thought I could tolerate it? How could I bear another man touching you? How could I bear you being by my side while thinking of other men?! I didn't really want to strangle you; you're the last person in this world I wanted to hurt. But I was blinded by jealousy. I feel like the biggest fool in the world. Foolish enough to actually believe that feelings could be shared!

Galan, you're right. Love is the only promise of love, the only one. You once gave me your one and only, and I easily threw it away. Now, you've given your one and only to someone else, so what right do I have to be angry at your heartlessness?

The most painful thing in life is persisting in what shouldn't be persisted in, while giving up what shouldn't be given up. Garan, back then I was too arrogant, too self-righteous, which caused you to be wounded time and time again; now I'm too stubborn, too selfish, which causes you to be torn between love and duty time and time again. All along, I've been so terribly wrong, so heaven punished me by making me lose my child and my beloved wife.

After you left, I kept thinking, why did I love you? Why did I force you to stay by my side? What I really wanted most was for you to be happy, or for myself to get what I wanted? If I could have stopped loving you sooner and let go sooner, would you have been happier?

I'm sorry, Galan, I love you.

Because I love you, I hurt you; but because I love you, I will slowly learn to let go.

In this life, we are destined not to grow old together. I still owe you a lifetime of happiness, which I have yet to repay. If there is an afterlife, will you still allow me to repay it? This time, I will never abandon you again, and I will never let you suffer any harm.

If there is an afterlife, would you still give me your one and only? This time, even if I die, I will never abandon it again.

If you and I have an afterlife, how wonderful that would be...

Lin Jialan, you must be happy. Only then will my letting go not have been in vain; only then can I live and cherish the happiness that belongs only to me.

Transfer the warmth of one person to the heart of another, and let the mistakes of the past inspire dreams.

Everyone is like this: only after experiencing the fear and anxiety can they refuse to be a lamb to the slaughter in love...

I slowly raised my head. Sunlight streamed in from the window behind me, casting long, golden rays that reached the doorway of the room.

I silently recited Xu Lie's last words: "Only in this way can I live and cherish the happiness that belongs only to me."

Only in this way can I live... only in this way can I live... live...

I recited it word by word, over and over again, until the broken, labored voice burst from my throat. Intertwined with the sorrowful music, it flowed slowly and quietly, like the long river of life, rising and falling.

My vision slowly blurred, and something that had been pressing on my chest for so long was pounding and roaring wildly, trying to break free.

"Galan, Ga...lan..." It was that gentle and soft call again.

I whirled around, ignoring the pain in my neck, and used all my strength to turn and find the source of the voice. In the dappled, golden sunlight, a handsome man stood by the window, hands in his pockets, smiling at me.

He had long, beautiful eyes with slightly upturned corners, a high, straight nose, a gracefully curved jaw, and lips that held a doting smile. I stared at him, tears welling up in my eyes and sliding down my cheeks.

Xu Lie smiled slightly, a look of pity and longing in his eyes, and said softly, "Galan, are you happy?"

I bit my lower lip hard, tears streaming down my face and into my mouth, bitter and astringent.

Xu Lie frowned slightly, then relaxed, a bright and pure smile spreading across his young and handsome face. His voice seemed to blend into the sunlight and music, beautiful and natural: "Galan, in this life, you and he must be happy. In the next life, I will wait for you, protect you, and never let go..."

His voice slowly faded in the sudden burst of light, his entire body seemingly transforming into countless stars in the summer night sky, scattering and bringing warmth and light to every corner around me. The darkness vanished, Xue'er's狰狞 (zhengning, meaning ferocious or hideous) face disappeared, and the long-suppressed nightmare in my heart dissipated in the beautiful halo…

I sat on the edge of the bed, hugged my legs, buried my face in my knees, and curled up, letting the tears flow freely. From the moment Xu Lie died until now, only now can I finally cry out loud and unrestrained.

The sorrowful, choked sobs, mingled with the beautiful music, gradually spreading and then fading away...

The candlelight illuminated the dinner, but it couldn't illuminate an answer.

Dating is not a cozy dinner party.

The bed sheets were covered with flower petals, and he was embraced as he grew up.

It was too crowded, so we drove to another area.

Emotions require someone to take over and get close to someone to exchange for expectations.

A vicious cycle of expectation leading to disappointment

Short-lived things are always romantic, while long-lasting things always leave one dissatisfied.

Burning away one's best years to find an old partner

Transferring one person's warmth to another's chest.

Let the mistakes of the past inspire dreams.