Their eyes met, and Han Shu kissed the corner of her lips. But Ju Nian's eyes didn't seem to be lucid; they were as if she had fallen into the deepest dream, which was then replaced by extreme fear. She screamed, her voice sharp and desperate, piercing the quiet night and making people's hearts tremble. It was as if what was pressing down on her was not a person, but an evil spirit that had been entrenched in her heart for many years, the source of her nightmares, a maggot clinging to her bones.
Han Shu was startled and broke out in a cold sweat. The soundproofing in this dilapidated place was so poor that her scream would alert everyone. He didn't dare to think too much about it and quickly covered her mouth.
"Please don't scream... Ju Nian, I won't hurt you... Please stop screaming, please, please..."
Ju Nian struggled beneath Han Shu, but her body remained limp. The spot where their bodies were joined felt like a red-hot iron, searing hot. Han Shu's desire overcame everything. He moved, the intense excitement washing over him like a tidal wave. He tossed her about, like Noah's Ark in a sea of desire, the whole world fading away, leaving only the two inseparable people. She couldn't even hear his whispers in her ear, yet she dared not loosen her grip. Slowly, he noticed she stopped struggling, the fear in her eyes gradually dissipating, fading into boundless silence…
There was no air conditioning in the room, the doors and windows were tightly closed, and it was unbearably hot. Only an electric fan was whirring and turning. Han Shu was afraid of the heat, and he was covered in sweat. Ju Nian was not much better off. However, he held Ju Nian tightly from behind all night, his chest pressed against her back, like two soup spoons side by side. This metaphor made him feel warm, as if endless worldly entanglements awaited them in the future.
She got into a university in Beijing, which would soon separate them, but that didn't matter. He was willing to visit her, and they could be together every holiday. Next, he would take her to meet Dean Han and his mother. Dean Han said that dating was forbidden in high school, but he didn't say it was forbidden in university. Four years, just four more years, and they would get married. His mother had no objections whatsoever; as long as he liked her, everything was fine. Dean Han always boasted that he didn't care about his future in-laws' fame or fortune, as long as the girl's family background was clean and her character upright. Ju Nian was so outstanding; how could they not like her? Oh, and there was her older sister; for their honeymoon, they would go to Belgium…
Han Shu rambled on and on in Ju Nian's ear, talking about the future, about Dean Han's expectations for him, about the pressure from his parents, and about his own plans. She was drunk, perhaps unable to hear anything, and Han Shu drifted off to sleep amidst his whispers.
The protruding springs on the mattress made it difficult for Han Shu to sleep. Around five o'clock, he woke up once, and his body's memories began to resurface, so he once again relentlessly clung to Ju Nian. Actually, compared to the physical pleasure he had experienced before, this time he was seeking more of a sense of possession.
She belongs to him now; a part of her body will forever bear his mark, and she can no longer treat him as an insignificant passerby.
Ju Nian seemed to be awake, yet not quite, with each of his movements accompanied by heavy breathing and soft murmurs.
Before the climax arrived, Han Shu could not hide his unease.
"Ju Nian, do you even know who I am? I'm not him, I'm not him!"
Ju Nian's eyelashes trembled slightly, her eyes were tightly closed, and she did not say a word.
He is not him; perhaps she already had a premonition, which is why she hoped to never wake up.
Early in the morning, Han Shu opened his eyes as usual; his biological clock was very accurate. However, the tightly closed curtains made him doubt his judgment. The air conditioner in the room seemed to be broken, and it was noisy outside. He turned over and mumbled, "Mom, what time is it?"
"6:45."
"oh."
Han Shu closed his eyes again and lay in bed for ten seconds before realizing something was wrong. It wasn't his mother's voice, but hers... The memories of last night were instantly activated, and he sat up abruptly in bed. Ju Nian, who was beside him, also straightened up at the same time. She used the entire sheet to cover herself, leaving him naked and completely exposed. Even though they had been so intimate last night, this still made him feel extremely embarrassed.
"I..." At this point, any words would be foolish, so Han Shu chose silence and waiting.
He could accept any complaints she had, and he could give her any promise she wanted.
However, Ju Nian mechanically lifted the bed sheet to check herself one last time. In that instant, her silence was the most intense despair.
With her back to him, Ju Nian put on the clothes that had dried in the bathroom. She tried to calm herself down, but her hands trembled uncontrollably as she buttoned the clothes.
"Don't you want to say something to me, Ju Nian?" Han Shu was nervous; the more silent she was, the more anxious and uncertain he felt.
Ju Nian took five times longer than usual to fasten all the buttons. She tried to pour herself a glass of water from the kettle on the bedside table, but the kettle was empty. When she put it back, it almost knocked over the lamp. Han Shu quickly caught it, fell off the bed, and pressed her down to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Don't move, I'll do it." He quickly dressed and looked around for a power outlet to boil water for her. He'd heard that people with hangovers are always thirsty.
The plug was finally found, but to his dismay, the kettle didn't work. Han Shu had never served anyone before, and after fiddling with it for a while, he realized that the kettle was broken. He kicked the bedside table a few times in anger.
"I'll go downstairs to get you some water. Wait for me, I'll be right back, and we can talk about it then... Ju Nian, say something, don't scare me like that."
She seemed to nod.
Han Shu was overjoyed and ran out quickly. He found the shop owner, who was still watching TV, and followed his directions to the hot water room to get a cup of hot water. The cups in the shop weren't clean, so he washed them carefully several times, but still felt it wasn't enough. He then asked if the shop had honey, but the answer was, of course, no. So, he begged the lady in the hot water room to find him some white sugar to mix into the hot water, so that at least it would taste sweet to her. Han Shu was willing to pluck the stars from the sky to make her a little happier.
He carefully carried the water glass back to the room, the door was wide open, and the room was empty. Only a few stray hairs scattered on the white sheets reminded him of his presence.
He told her to wait for him, but she lied again.
Chapter Forty: Goodbye, Year of the Orange
Ju Nian walked out of the room, like a lost child searching for an exit. The only way to the street was a narrow passageway, where a bald, middle-aged man sat behind a table watching the 7 o'clock morning news. Ju Nian kept her head down, hoping no one could see her, but to get out, she had to walk close to the edge of the table.
"Good morning, you're awake?" It was the middle-aged man who was undoubtedly the boss who noticed her. He looked up at her and smiled, revealing a row of teeth that were yellowed by cigarette smoke.
Ju Nian felt like she was in a nonsensical farce. For the first time in her life, she woke up in an unfamiliar place, next to a naked, ordinary male classmate who was holding her tightly. She had no recollection of how she ended up in this dimly lit private hotel. Even the stranger at the door seemed to know more about her than she did, and he smiled and said "Good morning" to her.
Ju Nian didn't answer, fleeing towards the only exit. The streets were so peaceful in the early morning, the people rushing to their early shifts were expressionless, the tune of "Orchid Grass" drifted from a sprinkler truck in the distance, and there was a dusty, watery smell in the air... This was the world she knew. The turbid, filthy, and sticky atmosphere of the previous moment was like a dream. She had escaped to heaven, and everything was the same, except for her, she alone did not know what she had become.
Legend has it that a day in the mountains is equivalent to a thousand years in the world.
That was the saddest story Ju Nian had ever heard.
When she woke up, her shirt and skirt were hanging on the bathroom line, wrinkled but completely dry. Only her underwear, close to her skin, was still damp, clinging to her like serpentine tendrils, like the hands that had clung to her when she first opened her eyes. She walked in the direction where a bus stop might be, but the road, though solid, felt like she was trudging through a pile of cotton wool.
Gradually, she seemed to remember some things: the note that seemed to have taken an eternity to fall from her fingertips to the ground; the hopeless phone booth; the bustling dance floor; the three glasses of sweet and slightly spicy liquid; the drop of sweat that Han Shu dripped onto her chest when she awoke from the pain. And of course, the search that had never ceased even in her dreams.
Ju Nian once asked herself why she kept asking about Wu Yu's whereabouts like Xianglin's wife. Even though he had said she was the best girl in the world, there was nothing she could do when the best boy in the world wanted to run away with another girl.
That was Wu Yu's own decision. He might love Chen Jiejie, but besides love, there was also a sense of responsibility. Even if Ju Nian finally finds him, what can she do besides say "goodbye"?
However, it was a nightmare that jolted her awake in the early morning that gave her a clue. In that dream, she seemed to have returned to the summer before her first year of high school, to the dark space behind the curtain of Lin Henggui's small shop, where those devilish hands were ravaging her body. She opened her mouth, panting like a fish out of water, but without making a sound. Despair is silent, after all. She wept, and then came Wu Yu's anger. He lunged at her, his eyes bloodshot.
"I'm going to kill you!" Wu Yu's hatred surged like a raging torrent, but Lin Henggui was a ghost in the water. She watched helplessly as the villain gradually gained the upper hand. He knocked Wu Yu down, grabbed her by the neck, and snatched her knife. Blood was the only memory she had when she awoke.
This was the source of her fear. She seemed to understand why she was so anxious. Wu Yu would go to him. She knew he would. She should have known her little monk so well.
She couldn't bear to see him get hurt again by Lin Henggui.
As the sun shone brightly, Ju Nian arrived at the darkest corner of her heart. The small shop's roller shutter door was closed, which wasn't surprising given Lin Henggui's notorious habit of staying up late and sleeping in. Ju Nian cautiously approached, trying to confirm that Wu Yu hadn't actually been there. However, when she stood by the door, she carefully noticed that it wasn't locked.
Perhaps worry overcame fear, and in a moment of impulsiveness, Ju Nian, without knowing where the courage came from, placed her hand on the roller shutter handle and pulled it up forcefully. Sure enough, it opened a crack about half a foot wide, and a sweet, metallic smell immediately filled the dark, enclosed space. Ju Nian's stomach clenched from a hangover, and her hands and feet remained icy as she continued to pull the door up. After opening it about a third of the way, the door rolled up naturally due to inertia, revealing the wooden door behind it wide open. There was no one there, only the old, faded cloth curtain swaying gently like a banner summoning souls, while the sweet, metallic smell of blood assaulted her nostrils. The horrific scene from her dream was still vivid in her mind, making Ju Nian almost suffocate.
Ju Nian's hand trembled as she lifted the curtain, as if it didn't belong to her. If Wu Yu was dead, if Lin Henggui was waiting for his prey inside... Fear to the extreme leads to utter despair. She stepped through the curtain.
There were no windows inside, and the light switch was lurking in some corner. Ju Nian took a step forward, her right foot stepping on something soft. Startled, she stumbled and bumped into something hard, seemingly a dresser. The bottles on top clattered to the ground. Just then, her eyes adjusted slightly to the dim light. There was a vertical rope on the upper side of the dresser. She tried pulling it, and a yellow light instantly filled the space, revealing the horrific scene before her eyes.
The cubicle was in complete disarray, clearly having just endured horrific torture. All the boxes and drawers had been hastily opened. A man lay sprawled in the center of the floor. What Ju Nian had just stepped on was his outstretched hand. Dark brown liquid spread out beneath him, the stench of blood overwhelming. Before this, Ju Nian had never known that so much blood could flow from a person's body.
That wasn't Wu Yu; Ju Nian could tell just by looking at her for the first time. However, this didn't put her mind at ease.
Lin Henggui, he's dead?!
The most terrifying demon in the Orange Year Nightmare lay lifeless in a crouching position, not even flinching when a heavy foot stepped on its fingertips. Could it be that the dream was the opposite, that Wu Yu really came, but in the end he killed Lin Henggui?
Over the years, like Wu Yu, Ju Nian had countless times wondered why Lin Henggui, that beast, that scum, wasn't dead, why wasn't he dead! Yet, when he finally died, Ju Nian felt an endless sorrow. If it really was Wu Yu who did it, his life was ruined because of it. He had pierced through the darkness, stained himself with the blackness of the underworld, all for such a shameless person—was it worth it?
The stench of blood made Ju Nian dizzy. She tried to escape in a panic, but before she could get far, a cold hand suddenly gripped her ankle tightly. She screamed and turned around. Lin Henggui struggled to lift his face, weakly and intermittently calling out, "Help...help..."
Ju Nian struggled frantically, kicking and thrashing about. He tried with all his might to grab her, but weakened by his injuries, he was finally freed. Lin Henggui had likely lost too much blood and was unconscious. Just as he was dying, Ju Nian burst in and stepped on his hand. The pain and the light briefly brought him back to consciousness, but after a few moments, he fell back into a deathly coma.
Ju Nian, distraught, stumbled out of the cubicle. The scene she had just witnessed terrified her, and she naturally assumed that Lin Henggui was dead. He was someone who didn't deserve to live in this world, but who was in control? Who had the right to decide another person's life or death? Even though she hated him so much, as long as a shred of conscience remained, as long as Lin Henggui was alive, Wu Yu, even if guilty, wouldn't be unforgivable.
She finally used the store's phone to call the ambulance center. Soon, the ambulance would arrive. She didn't care whether Lin Henggui could hold on until then; she only knew that she couldn't stay there for another second.
She seemed to walk on a single path, stumbling and running aimlessly, unnoticed by anyone. Countless times in the past, she had passed this bamboo-lined path during her morning runs, and each time she turned around, the little monk would be lazily following behind with an innocent smile.
The sugarcane was left behind, the bamboo forest was left behind, and finally, the 521 steps were left behind as well. Ju Nian reached the summit, and at the edge of the empty mausoleum plaza, she leaned against the rough, jagged branches of a pomegranate tree and collapsed onto the grass, only then remembering to cry.
Wu Yu, where are you? What happened to us?
"The Year of the Orange?"
The lingering hallucinations from the alcohol wouldn't let her go; she even thought she saw Wu Yu running towards her from behind the towering martyrs' tombstone through her teary eyes.
"Ju Nian." In the hallucination, Wu Yu grabbed her shoulders. The warmth of his hands felt real, but his usually clean body was covered in blood, his clothes were torn, and his forehead was swollen and bleeding.
“You…” Ju Nian was stunned for a moment.
“I knew you would find your way here.” He even managed a grin.
Ju Nian touched his face with both hands. It really was him... She suddenly pushed him away forcefully and asked in a hoarse voice, "Did you do this? It really was you... Why were you so stupid?"
Wu Yu's silent approval plunged her heart into an abyss.
"He deserves to die! I just want what I deserve!" Wu Yu wanted to continue, but his face flushed as the usually gentle and kind Ju Nian slapped him hard across the face.
"You'd risk your life for just a few thousand dollars?"
Wu Yu covered her face and lowered her head for a long time.
“Those few thousand yuan are my life. Without them, I can’t go anywhere. Ju Nian, you should have seen the note I left for you. Jie Jie is pregnant. She asked me to take her away. It’s my responsibility. I don’t want to stay here forever, so I have no choice… Whether you believe it or not, I never intended to kill Lin Henggui. I only wanted the eight thousand yuan that belonged to me, and I didn’t want a single penny more. But he refused and insisted on fighting me. It was too dark at the time, and no one could see their surroundings. If the person who died wasn’t him, it would have been me… Do I have no other way out but to accept my fate? Do I have to suffer his humiliation forever? I said that one day, I would kill him… Haha, the son of a murderer will grow up to be a murderer too. Your aunt and the others were very farsighted.”
"He's not dead, Lin Henggui is still alive." Ju Nian seemed to see a glimmer of hope, grabbing Wu Yu's arm tightly and straightening herself up. "You're not a murderer, go turn yourself in, Wu Yu, the law will give you justice..."
"Would it?" Wu Yu's laughter sounded like a sob. "Where is true justice? If there were, would we be standing here today? Ju Nian, even if he doesn't die, he'll turn around and accuse me. Robbery is a serious crime. I don't want to spend my whole life in jail; I'd rather die!"
"Then why aren't you leaving? What are you still doing here? I went to Lin Henggui's shop; he's still breathing. I called an ambulance for him. The police will be here soon; they'll find their way here. If you want to leave, hurry up, or it'll be too late." As Ju Nian spoke, her heart was filled with a bittersweet mix of emotions. She had always been a naive girl who believed in the existence of good even in dire circumstances, and she believed in justice and the law protecting the kind-hearted. But now, all she wanted was for Wu Yu, the son of a murderer, to survive this ordeal. What is right, what is wrong? Where is the line between good and evil? Who says good people are always rewarded and evil people are always punished? That's just a lie in fairy tales. She simply couldn't understand why, if fleeing was inevitable, he would waste his precious time staying here.
“I’m leaving. But we promised each other that no matter how far we go, we would say goodbye in person. Ju Nian, I’ve come to say goodbye to you. I swore an oath, and I knew you would come.”
Ju Nian was stunned by what she heard, as if she were in a daze. Between him and her, who was the fool?
"Where is she? Where is she?" she asked as if in a dream.
"Jie Jie? She's waiting for me at the agreed location. I promised her that I wouldn't leave her behind this time, no matter what. I'll go meet her later."
Where to?
"Lanzhou, my hometown. There are many herdsmen there. If one day we settle down, Ju Nian, you must come. The scenery beyond the Great Wall, with herds of cattle and sheep, is my lifelong dream."
"Okay, okay. You can go now..." Ju Nian gently pushed him. Ahead of him lay an unattainable dream and a girl waiting anxiously.
Wu Yu nodded, "Jiu Nian, take good care of yourself. We said goodbye, but we will definitely meet again."
He stood up and walked towards another path leading down the mountain past the tombstone.
"Witch Rain!"
He turned around almost instantly.
"Have I ever told you that I'm jealous of her, very jealous?" Ju Nian murmured.
She didn't know if Wu Yu had understood what she was saying.
Wu Yu said, "You will have your own life, Ju Nian. You are different from me. You deserve a perfect life, without taking risks or living in fear..."
"Did you arrange this for me? Wu Yu, did you give me a choice? How do you know what kind of life is perfect for me?"
"At least we don't have to end up like Jie Jie and me."
"But I'd rather be like her."
She rarely spoke so hoarsely; perhaps he was surprised.
"I like you, Wu Yu. Are you pretending to be confused or have you never known? I've always liked you, no less than Chen Jiejie."
Wu Yu responded with a long silence. Ju Nian knew long ago that perhaps she should never have uttered those words, otherwise, even her position as best friend might be in jeopardy. But now, what did it matter?
She was too far away, and her tears prevented her from seeing the expression on Wu Yu's face, but his voice had never sounded so gentle.
“You never said that.”