Han Shu said, "Which deity are you worshipping? Isn't this blatant deception?"
As Ju Nian sat down next to Fei Ming, Han Shu noticed that the corners of her lips were also turned up. She finally couldn't help but laugh as well, defending herself by saying, "Sincerity moves mountains."
"Let's eat." Ju Nian poured a bowl of soup for Fei Ming. Seeing Han Shu sitting there obediently, she hesitated for a moment, then poured a bowl for him as well, and said in a low voice, "I didn't expect you to come, so it's a bit rushed. Please make do with this."
Han Shu quickly reached out to take it, feeling flattered and overwhelmed. He happily took two sips, and taking advantage of this incredibly good momentum, he returned the favor by picking up the best piece of fish and diligently placing it into Ju Nian's bowl.
He was initially a little uneasy, afraid that he would once again be met with indifference. Fei Ming's gaze followed the trajectory of the chopsticks in a parabolic arc, carefully observing Ju Nian's reaction.
Ju Nian focused on eating, not even looking up. She silently finished the fish in her bowl, and after a while, she looked up and smiled apologetically, "The fish was overcooked."
Han Shu immediately laughed, and Fei Ming followed suit. No one wanted to think too deeply about what was so great about a fish that had been overcooked.
As dusk settled, the old fluorescent lights inside the house flickered intermittently, and the sounds of firecrackers continued to explode in the distance. Strangely, the sounds that should have been noisy brought a sense of inexplicable peace at this moment. Many things were quietly soothed in this tranquility, like the wind smoothing over the scars on the rocks, or the waves smoothing over the footprints on the beach.
The preciousness of New Year's Eve lies solely in its theme of family reunion. Han Shu quietly enjoyed the most "hasty" New Year's Eve dinner of his nearly thirty years of life as night finally fell. He had never liked the night before; all the joy and merriment brought by calling out to friends and engaging in revelry was like a gust of wind, fleetingly filling the air before vanishing without a trace, leaving only an empty void and an echo that made his heart uneasy. But now, his heart was inexplicably filled by this quiet night. For the first time, he thought of "completeness."
After dinner, Han Shu volunteered to wash the dishes, and Ju Nian didn't stand on ceremony with him; it was faster for the two of them to clean up together. After everything was tidied up, Fei Ming still refused to go to bed and rest. Instead, she leaned against a bamboo chair facing the courtyard gate, thankfully covered with the thick blanket that Ju Nian had prepared for her.
Ju Nian, worried she might catch a cold, went over and touched her forehead, only to find that the rain outside had stopped sometime earlier. Only the old-fashioned eaves still dripped water, silently disappearing into the withered leaves in the night. The air was filled with a damp smell, a mixture of moisture, decaying leaves, earth, and the lingering scent of firecrackers. Han Shu walked to the aunt and niece, one standing and one sitting, and took a deep breath of the unique scent of this winter night, a time for family reunions, the quiet courtyard after the light rain had ceased.
Fei Ming turned to look at Han Shu and suddenly said, "Uncle Han Shu, I really want to play another game of badminton with you."
Han Shuben started by saying, "Okay, I have a ball and racket in my car." But the words caught in his throat as he noticed Ju Nian's silence and Fei Ming's childlike innocence and the faint look of unease on her face. He had almost forgotten that, given Fei Ming's current physical condition, enduring just one dinner was enough to severely deplete her energy, let alone strenuous exercise. Perhaps Fei Ming herself knew this all too well, which was why she only said "I want" for such a simple request, instead of "I need." Because she knew she couldn't do it.
Han Shu desperately tried to recall what he was doing at the age of eleven or twelve. Not only him, but all children in their innocent years should naturally enjoy the exuberance and carefree spirit, not Ming. Poor child, perhaps she just didn't want to watch herself spend the night weak and powerless, that's all, but it was unattainable.
Han Shu always knew he was best at pleasing people with words, and he wanted to cheer Fei Ming up. However, no matter how hard he tried, his usual silver tongue seemed to have vanished. He then felt the powerlessness of words in the face of the fate of birth, aging, sickness, and death. Just then, a bicycle parked under the eaves of the corridor caught his eye. Han Shu's eyes lit up, and he said to Fei Ming with great interest, "Why don't we ride bicycles?"
Fei Ming's face showed a hint of excitement, and he nodded like a chick pecking at rice, "Okay, okay, I don't even know how to ride yet. My aunt said she won't let me ride a bicycle to school until I go to junior high school."
Han Shu smiled and walked towards the bicycle. "I'll teach you later, it's not difficult at all. But today you can ride in the back, Uncle Han Shu will give you a ride around."
As he spoke, he pushed the bicycle into the yard, tested the pedals, and noticed that it kept making a strange "clunking" sound. He couldn't help but look down to check, and found that this bicycle, of unknown age and possibly an antique, had a broken chain, and the rear wheel was flat, rolling along the rim. Han Shu stared in disbelief, "Xie Junian, what kind of junk is this?"
Ju Nian then slowly walked over, circled the car, and spread her hands helplessly and innocently, "I didn't say it was a good car. It's been sitting here for a long time and no one has thought of riding it."
Han Shu, unwilling to give up, continued fiddling with the vehicle for a while, finally convincing himself that it was almost beyond repair. Moreover, with no repair tools at hand, even trying to keep it afloat for long seemed unlikely. He felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head; the more he looked at the broken-down car, the angrier he became, muttering angrily, "This piece of junk should have been thrown away long ago! What value does it have left?"
Ju Nian said sheepishly, "Couldn't we just sell it and live out our old age in peace?"
She avoided Han Shu's anger, but when she turned around, she saw Fei Ming's somewhat disappointed face, even though he hadn't said a word.
Ju Nian thought for a moment, then perked up and said to Fei Ming with a grin, "You really want to ride a bicycle, right? It's not impossible." She tilted her head slightly and beckoned to Fei Ming in the yard, "Come here, come here, Auntie will give you a ride." The old bicycle was still lying sideways at her feet. Fei Ming looked confused and bewildered, but he couldn't resist his aunt's repeated invitations.
"Come here, silly child, put on your blanket and come here quickly."
Fei Ming, half-believing and half-doubting, slowly walked to her aunt's side, clutching the blanket. Han Shu, on the other hand, widened his eyes, wondering what trick she was up to.
Ju Nian put her hands on Fei Ming's shoulders, pulled her behind her, and then turned her back to Fei Ming, stretching out her hands as if grasping something that didn't exist. "Sit tight, Fei Ming, the car is about to move!"
After she finished speaking, she slowly started walking forward, and Fei Ming followed her blankly, taking small, hesitant steps. Han Shu was stunned for a moment before she realized that this girl was using her imaginary bicycle to carry Fei Ming around in circles.
Hou Feiming also realized what was happening. Surprised, she covered her mouth and chuckled secretly, but she also seemed to find it amusing. As Ju Nian said in a very serious manner, "Turn around, don't fall off..." she sat behind her aunt in a very serious manner, laughing and saying, "Auntie, ride slower."
They were having a great time, unaware that the sight of the two of them riding virtual bicycles looked incredibly silly to Han Shu. At that moment, Ju Nian was still dutifully pressing the "bell" with her right hand as she walked past him, "Ding-a-ling, move aside, it'll be bad if we crash into each other." He rubbed his head with his eyes half-closed in pain, muttering, "God, let me die."
Fei Ming, however, became addicted to this incredibly boring game. She even got so into character that she bent her knees slightly as if she were really sitting on the back of a bicycle, and enthusiastically greeted Han Shu: "Uncle Han Shu, come on over, come on over."
Han Shu remained silent, shaking his head vigorously; he would never join this fool's game. But Fei Ming kept urging him on.
"Come on, Uncle Han Shu, let's ride together."
"Your Uncle Han Shu can't ride."
"Uncle Han Shu, it's alright, my aunt will give you a ride."
The bicycle carrying two people passed by Han Shu again. Fei Ming pulled Han Shu back, and Han Shu was both annoyed and amused. Ju Nian, who was riding the bicycle, took a moment to look back at him. He simply reached out and stopped them "along with the bicycle".
"Sit tighter, or you'll fall and I won't be responsible."
"Auntie, there's a mouse."
"Press the bell quickly."
"Ring ring, ring ring..."
How far has this bike gone?
"We've just passed Beijing, and we're almost in Northeast China."
"I'm going to America."
Why don't you go around the Milky Way galaxy once?
...
With a sharp whistling sound, a dazzling firework exploded in the sky moments later. It must have been one of the neighbor's children, impatient for midnight. This firework seemed to be a signal, and soon after, fireworks of various colors rose and bloomed from several directions. The dark blue-black sky, devoid of stars, was now illuminated by the fireworks.
It's unclear which of the three stopped first, but they remained standing in the courtyard, one in front of the other, heads tilted back, gazing mesmerized at the vibrant fireworks in the night sky. The fireworks were so beautiful that no one spoke, as if afraid that a word would extinguish them. After a deafening roar, the most magnificent bloom almost covered half the sky above them, a breathtaking display of color, before scattering like shooting stars.
Perhaps because she had been looking up for so long, it seemed so close. So close that when Ju Nian reached out her hand into the void, even Bian Hanshu had the illusion that it would land in her palm.
Finally, Ju Nian withdrew her hand, her fingers clenched together, and Han Shu wondered if she was holding onto something. A fireworks display made the sky brighter than daytime, then darkened again, becoming darker than night.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Zhuangzi Dreamt He Was a Butterfly
After "riding" around the yard several times, Fei Ming was exhausted. She had been thinking of staying up all night to celebrate the New Year, but she was too tired to do so. She sat back in her little bamboo chair and soon fell asleep.
Fearing that her frail constitution might catch a chill from sitting in the wind for too long, Han Shu carried her back to her crib, with Ju Nian following behind with a blanket. Fei Ming, noticing she was lifted off the ground, murmured a few words but wasn't awakened. From a young age, she had a habit of sleeping wherever she was tired at home; watching TV, doing homework—she could fall asleep instantly. If woken in the middle of the night, she would inevitably throw a tantrum. When she was younger, Ju Nian could resignedly carry her back to her room, but as Fei Ming grew older and taller, this "chore" became increasingly difficult for Ju Nian to manage. Watching Han Shu effortlessly lift little Fei Ming, even though Ju Nian felt she could handle anything in life, she had to admit that God gave women a complete heart but forgot to give them strong arms.
Ju Nian tucked a pillow under Fei Ming's head, covered her with the blanket, and waited until her breathing gradually calmed down before quietly leaving the room and closing the door. She had just turned around when she was startled to find Han Shu standing unexpectedly behind her.
Han Shu then mocked, "Why are you acting like a rabbit being chased by a dog even in your own home?" He realized as soon as he said it that something was off about his words, as if he had implicated himself as well. However, he was in a good mood and didn't bother to fuss over such trivial matters.
"Thank you," Ju Nian suddenly blurted out.
"Huh?" Han Shu was stunned for a moment and didn't know why she was thanking him. Luckily, his brain was still working. After thinking about it again, he realized that she was probably thanking him for taking the initiative to act as a "porter".
"There's nothing to thank me for. How heavy could that child be?" Han Shu said with a nonchalant smile.
"No... um... more than that, Fei Ming was very happy tonight, and I'm very grateful."
Han Shuyuan wanted to say, "Why say all this? I haven't thanked you yet for inviting me to dinner." But he suddenly sensed the obvious restraint and politeness in Ju Nian's words and brows, which made him, whose heart was still lingering in the happy and harmonious atmosphere just now, suddenly become a little wary.
Han Shu loved Ju Nian's smile, her sullen helplessness when she was angry, her occasional inexplicable behavior, her sharp tongue that drove him half to death, her finally breaking down in tears in front of him, and even the way she sometimes hated him. He admitted he was somewhat self-destructive, but it made him feel like he wasn't just anyone, and it made him and Ju Nian feel like real people living in the same world. What did he fear most? It was her seemingly forgiving indifference, and the cautious and distant politeness before him, as if a single word or glance could draw a clear line between them.
Wasn't everything fine just now? Han Shu felt quite frustrated, like someone who had traversed a long journey, thinking they had already crossed countless mountains and rivers, only to find themselves still wandering in the backyard.
As expected, Han Shu was furious. From her angle, she couldn't even see the hands of the plague clock clearly. He suppressed his anger, glanced at her sideways, and said irritably, "I'm not that clueless. I'll leave without you having to chase me away."
With her head down, Han Shu could only see her ears turning bright red with embarrassment. After a moment of silence, she angrily went to find her enormous suitcase. When she finally grabbed the handle, the look of relief on her face only fueled his anger, especially since she fawned over him, saying, "I'll see you out."
Provoked by this, Han Shu simply stopped pretending with her. Her wickedness gave him the courage to act like a rogue. His pretense of pulling his suitcase to leave was all a charade. To be honest, once he entered this courtyard today, he had no intention of leaving at all.
Han Shu released his grip, his demeanor shifting dramatically from one of pride to one of shamelessness, like a Sichuan opera mask changing hands. "I really have nowhere else to go."
Ju Nian probably hadn't expected him to back out so quickly. Perhaps she only acted out of premonition, hoping he'd understand and leave on his own. She had no intention of letting Han Shu stay overnight. Regardless of the reason, it was unreasonable and morally wrong. She had hoped that Han Shu, who valued his pride above all else, would leave without hesitation, but instead, he became persistent and disregarded everything.
"Han Shu, I didn't mean to make things difficult for you, please don't make things hard for me," Ju Nian said with considerable restraint.
Han Shu also adopted a reasonable tone. "You're standing in front of a homeless person right now. Do you want me to be stranded on the streets on New Year's Eve?"
"I sympathize with you, but there's nothing I can do. What kind of place are you living here?"
Han Shu pretended not to understand. She was practically saying, "It's your business if you're homeless, it's none of my concern." It wasn't that he didn't know it would be difficult for her to compromise and let him stay. Given her personality, even if it were Tang Ye, who was currently "hotly competing" with her, he probably wouldn't get his way. But Han Shu thought, so what? He wasn't Tang Ye, who had to think twice before speaking. His shamelessness had been honed by her.
“Why can’t I find a way? You just need to take me in for a while. It won’t be long. I’ll go out and find a solution after the New Year. Just do me a favor and save a poor person.”
“God helps those who help themselves,” Ju Nian said blankly.
Han Shu, unable to contain his anger, couldn't help but be sarcastic, "No wonder even God couldn't save you, because you never save yourself. Do you think you'll be happy dying alone in this cemetery? You desperately need some human warmth, really, not just you, but this house too." He then declared, "Anyway, I'm not leaving!"
Ju Nian was clearly angered by his words and was losing his composure, even adopting a savior-like posture.
What's the point of you doing this?
"I'm not leaving!" Han Shu said, sitting on his suitcase. He was betting that she wouldn't take any concrete action to force him to leave.
Sure enough, Ju Nian remained in a helpless and indifferent standoff for a while before finally giving up on getting entangled with him. Without a word, she turned and went into the room where they had been separated, closing the door behind her. Knowing that she couldn't do anything about him, she figured if she couldn't afford to offend him, she could at least avoid him, so she simply retreated into her shell.
Han Shu was secretly delighted. With her "out of sight, out of mind" attitude, it seemed he had gotten what he wanted. In high spirits, he put his luggage back in its original place. Thinking back to the bad luck of being chased out of the house by the old man at noon, he felt that the wisdom of the ancients was remarkable. People often say, "Good fortune may be a harbinger of misfortune, and misfortune may be a harbinger of good fortune." Just a day ago, he never dared to dream that he would one day be able to live under the same roof as her.
He wandered around the empty living room, still feeling excited, when suddenly a very real and objective problem arose: where would he sleep tonight?
Ju Nian's place was as simple as an ascetic's retreat. The house had only two rooms, which were occupied by her and Fei Ming respectively. The so-called living room was just a cold cellar surrounded by four walls, without even a long sofa. The most comfortable place was the bamboo recliner that Fei Ming had sat in before.
Han Shu was the kind of person who would rather die than sleep on the floor. Confirming he couldn't find a better place to stay, he settled on the bamboo chair. Bedding was out of the question, so the bed sheet, a staple for travel, came in handy. Han Shu spread it on the chair, then lay down. Fei Ming could curl up completely in the chair, but given his height, his legs could only rest on the ground. He only took off his coat, wrapped himself in the remaining sheet, and then covered himself with a thick coat, trying to fall asleep like this. Xie Junian let him fend for himself outside because she was certain he had nowhere to stay. He wanted to show her that he had plenty of ways to make a living; a true man can bend and stretch, and there was nowhere he couldn't find refuge.
That's true, but after fifteen minutes on the bamboo chair, Han Shu realized how uncomfortable it was to bend and stretch. Han Shu had never experienced hardship growing up. The only time he'd ever participated in a camping summer camp during his school years, they'd set up a tent in the suburbs. His mother, Sun Jinling, and the driver had brought his bedding to him overnight. He complained about his mother being nosy, but the comfort of his own sheets at night was incomparable to the blankets in the tent. The bamboo chair at Ju Nian's house was relatively cool in the summer, but on such a winter night, it was bitterly cold. The thin sheets offered no warmth, and even the small bumps on the chair made him uncomfortable.
So, the "Pea Prince" made his bold statement, but ended up tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. He felt there wasn't a single flat spot beneath him; his legs were uncomfortable to stretch out and even more so to curl up. What was even more unbearable was the chill of the old house at night, which a bed sheet and a coat that covered his head and exposed his feet could not keep out. As soon as he calmed down and started to feel sleepy, the chill would spread like a vicious snake from the soles of his feet all the way to his internal organs.
Han Shu tightened his grip, having struggled all day. Finally, his consciousness began to haze, entering a state somewhere between a dream and a hallucination. He seemed lost in a vast, white, icy world, his breath freezing, his blood almost congealing. He had no idea how long he had been walking. The most terrifying thing was that this icy world seemed endless; his footprints in the snow were covered, leaving him unable to leave or return.
Finally, someone arrived beside him on a sleigh; it was none other than Xie Junian, the Snow Queen. Han Shu was overjoyed to see his savior and exclaimed, "Please save me, I'm so cold!"
The Snow Queen replied, "You only have yourself to blame; you shouldn't have barged into our world."
Han Shu was puzzled. Where did this "we" come from? There were clearly only him and her here.
However, at this moment, the face that Han Shu tried so hard not to recall appeared before his eyes. The thin, white-clad boy had appeared beside Xie Junian at some point. They looked at each other and smiled, their hands clasped together.
Han Shu woke up with a shiver, as if enveloped by a blizzard. The last image that lingered in his mind was Ju Nianwanji's icy, snow-like eyes. He scrambled to his feet, rummaging through his suitcase for anything that could keep him warm, piling it all over himself, but it was no use. He felt even colder; the dream had chilled him to the bone. Falling asleep again was a distant dream. His eyelids were heavy, his consciousness hazy, yet he remained awake. Every time he turned over, the broken bamboo chair creaked and groaned, firecrackers occasionally exploded, and the old clock on the wall ticked away, its ticking a relentless, almost demonic, reminder of his impending doom.
When his last bit of patience was exhausted, Han Shu kicked off the clothes he was wearing and sat up. He dragged his aching, numb leg, as if he had a limp, to knock on Ju Nian's door.
Han Shu was already irritable and agitated, so his lower body naturally lacked restraint. Even banging on the door wasn't excessive, but he never expected that Ju Nian had only lived with Fei Ming all year round, and there was no one else in the house. The latch on her door was so brittle, it was completely a formality. In fact, the moment his knuckles touched the door panel, the lock or hinge inside made a strange sound, and then the door opened a crack.
The noise must have startled Ju Nian, who was lying in bed. She was already having trouble sleeping, and the noise startled her so much that she sat up almost immediately. Her first instinct was to pull the bedside lamp.
The light switch retained its original form, relying on pulling a cord to turn on the light. Ju Nian knew the cord's direction well, finding it instantly even in the darkness. However, already preoccupied, she was further startled by Han Shu, and in her excessive force, the old cord switch snapped with a loud "crack." Clutching the broken cord, Ju Nian inwardly groaned, her body involuntarily shrinking back.
In all honesty, Han Shu's initial intention was simply to knock on the door, ask Ju Nian for a set of warm bedding, and perhaps give her a few words of criticism—nothing more. However, the ensuing chaos was completely out of his control. In this situation, he was truly in a bind, unable to clear his name even if he jumped into the Yellow River. Not to mention her, even Han Shu himself felt like a thug who had broken into a house in the middle of the night.
The room was pitch black, and it took Han Shu a while to get used to it.
"What...what are you doing?" He found Ju Nian's cowering figure, clutching the rope, somewhat amusing, as if the rope would be her lifeline should something unexpected happen. However, even though he couldn't see her face clearly, Han Shu could sense the fear hidden in her darkness.
"I'm freezing!" Han Shu stepped forward and said irritably.
Ju Nian seemed to finally confirm from the voice that the backlit figure was indeed Han Shu, but this realization did not calm her heart.
"What..." she asked in a trembling voice, clearly not fully recovered.