Alma Espejo Antigua

Capítulo 4

"Because you wouldn't tell me, he told me himself. He called a couple of days ago to ask about your recovery; you can tell he cares about you a lot." Hawke got up and poured a glass of water for him.

Xu Haicheng sighed softly. How could he not know Chen Chen's deep affection? He reached out and gripped the water glass on the table, his hand trembling slightly, causing the water inside to slosh around and make a soft, rustling sound. This right hand, which had once earned him the reputation of a sharpshooter, now trembled intermittently with the slightest exertion. He sighed again, relaxed his elbow muscles, and raised the glass to his lips, taking a sip.

Hawke looked at Xu Haicheng calmly and said, "I told Director Chen that your hand has never fully healed. Although the gunshot wound damaged the nerves, it's more because you're psychologically unwilling to let it recover." He paused, "You don't want to go back to the police force."

Xu Haicheng looked up at him in surprise, then chuckled, "How could that be? Being a policeman has been my dream since I was a child. Besides, these hands really can't do anything except arrest suspects." As he spoke, he stared at his hands, his palms covered with thick calluses, all from practicing shooting.

His expression was calm, and his tone was ordinary, but Hawke still caught a glimpse of confusion in his eyes. "Since it's been your dream since childhood, what are you confused about now? Is it doubt about this dream, or doubt about your own actions?"

Xu Haicheng seemed not to hear, staring blankly at his palm. The light cast a thin glaze on him, giving the illusion that he would remain silent forever.

"Captain Xu, you are a responsible person. You always keep things to yourself and bear them silently. Over time, everyone has come to see you as a strong tree that can shelter them from the wind and rain, forgetting that you also have human emotions and desires, and you also experience loneliness and solitude."

These words stirred something within Xu Haicheng. He was resolute and not at all sentimental, but sometimes he did harbor burdens. However, he usually dealt with these burdens by smoking and drinking. Thinking about it, he realized he had no one around him he could truly confide in. Fang Li was the only one he felt close to, but a misunderstanding had created a rift between them, and they had drifted further and further apart. Thinking of her, Xu Haicheng couldn't help but sigh.

"Why don't we talk about Fang Li?"

Hawke's sudden remark startled Xu Haicheng. After a moment, he shook his head. The last person he wanted to talk about in the world was her.

"Then let's talk about the Nampa University study tour."

"Since our director has told you everything, you should understand that what I need isn't a psychologist, but time." Xu Haicheng's expression was complex, a mixture of pain, guilt, and helplessness. "I need time to forget everything."

Hawke, his usual gentle demeanor replaced by aggression, demanded, "How long are you prepared to take to forget? And are you sure you can forget everything? Forget your partner's death, forget the disappearance of the woman you love, forget the fact that you almost died, forget the fourteen people who vanished into the mountains? Forget the four who will spend their lives in a mental hospital?"

These words pierced Xu Haicheng's heart like a knife; he stood rooted to the spot, his Adam's apple bobbing.

The seven-member inspection team from Nanpu City was followed by eleven local field soldiers who came to their rescue, along with Xu Haicheng and Zhang Xiaofeng from the Nanpu City Public Security Bureau, and four guides from the Jingyun Mountain area, making a total of twenty-four people who entered the mountains... Later, the Jingyun City garrison received a distress signal on the military communications channel and dispatched two helicopters to search for a whole day, finding six survivors. All six were seriously injured. Although they all survived after being rescued, three of them suffered mental breakdowns, one committed suicide by removing his oxygen mask, and another became a vegetable.

Therefore, there was only one actual survivor, Xu Haicheng.

Xu Haicheng sat stiffly for about a minute, then lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. Smoke billowed from the corner of his mouth, billowing between him and Hawke. His eyes narrowed, peering through the smoke at a distant point—the Jingyun Mountains six months ago. What Hawke had described was the root of his nightmares over the past six months. As the sole survivor, he truly couldn't forget it all; on the contrary, he relived it in his dreams every day.

"You must be wondering what happened to cause a field soldier to lose his mind?"

Hawke remained noncommittal; although his job was to dispel the gloom in Xu Haicheng's heart, he was indeed curious about the truth.

"Actually, I don't know what happened. I was shot in the head..." Xu Haicheng pointed to the scar on his forehead, "Everything in front of me was blood. I was lying on the ground, and strangely enough, I didn't feel any fear at all. I only had one thought: I'm going to die, I'm going to die..." His voice trailed off as he lit another cigarette, the cigarette butt glowing between his fingers, reflecting in the depths of his pupils as two points of light flickering. "I don't know what happened after that, but since what happened could drive a field soldier insane, and I wasn't any stronger than them, that bullet actually saved me."

The atmosphere in the office was extremely oppressive. Although Xu Haicheng spoke in a calm tone, it was as if he had experienced a near-death experience. Hawke couldn't find the right words to ease the tension and simply listened silently.

"I heard that Professor Ma Junnan is receiving treatment here?"

Hawke nodded. Ma Junnan had just been transferred to this hospital a month ago.

"Take me to see him."

"Okay." Hawke stood up and led Xu Haicheng through the back door of the office building into the backyard. The trees in the backyard were even more lush, rustling in the wind. A small building was half-hidden among the trees, creating a rather eerie atmosphere. A light was on at the entrance of the building, casting a long shadow on the ground from the iron gate.

Hawke pushed open the iron gate and greeted the nurse on duty at the entrance. Just then, a piercing scream rang out. Xu Haicheng shuddered and looked around, but Hawke and the nurse ignored him.

The corridors of the psychiatric ward were narrow and long, creating a sense of oppression. Xu Haicheng followed behind Hawke, hearing all sorts of sounds along the way: howls, banging on doors, and people singing ditties, their voices hoarse as they circled around from every corner. Even though he was quite brave, he felt as if he were inside a freezer at tens of degrees below zero.

Hawke remained expressionless throughout, walking all the way to the end, peering through a peephole above a door, and then beckoning Xu Haicheng over.

Xu Haicheng leaned closer and was met with a blindingly bright light, causing him to involuntarily squint. The walls were snow-white, the bed was snow-white, and the white light streaming from the ceiling made everything in the room unbearably bright. A gaunt figure sat in the center of the bed, his rigid gaze fixed on the white light, not even blinking.

Is this Ma Junnan?

Xu Haicheng stared at Hawke in disbelief. He had met Ma Junnan before, but the man before him was completely unrecognizable, with sunken eyes, bulging pupils, and a body so thin that it seemed as if only skin and bones were attached to the body.

"He's terrified of the dark and of sleeping. So he keeps the lights on all the time, never sleeping. Although injections can force him to sleep, he becomes manic and self-harms when he wakes up." Hawke said, reaching out to press several switches on the wall, and several lights on the ceiling immediately went out. Ma Junnan, who had been motionless, immediately showed a look of panic, shrinking back and looking around like a frightened little mouse.

Hawke quickly pressed the switch again, restoring the brightness to the previous level. Ma Junnan's panicked expression vanished, and he remained seated, still staring intently at the light bulb. "Should we go in and talk? He might remember you."

Xu Haicheng hesitated for a moment, then nodded and followed Hawke into the ward. The sound of the door opening didn't move Ma Junnan; he remained staring intently at the light bulb.

"Professor Ma, someone's here to see you." Hawke waved his hand in front of his eyes, and he finally noticed, turning his eyes to stare directly at Xu Haicheng. A moment later, terror flashed in his eyes, and he recoiled, screaming, "Gun! He has a gun! He shot someone! Ghosts... so many ghosts..." His screams grew increasingly shrill, carrying far into the darkness. The screams startled the other patients in the ward, and they too began to scream, like the wailing of a hundred ghosts, transforming the already eerie mental ward into a place imbued with a hellish atmosphere.

Ma Junnan had been quiet since arriving at the rehabilitation center, his only episode being caused by a sudden power outage. Therefore, Hawke hadn't anticipated this at all and quickly pushed the distracted Xu Haicheng out of the ward. Even after they were far away, they could still hear Ma Junnan's heart-wrenching screams: "Murder! Murder! Ghost..."

Part One, Section 9: Chapter Two, Part Two of the Formation of Calamity (3)

Xu Haicheng was dragged by Huo Ke all the way outside. Only when the iron gate slammed shut did he suddenly snap back to reality. He turned to look at the iron gate, then at the long corridor beyond, at the end of which was Ma Junnan's ward. Ma Junnan was still screaming. But from the distance, it sounded indistinct, more like a voice from Xu Haicheng's own heart screaming incessantly: "Murder! Murder!"

Hawke had been watching Xu Haicheng's expression closely. He saw Xu staring at the corridor for a long time, a deep sorrow etched on his brow, his pupils reflecting the pale streetlights like frost. "Our chief certainly didn't tell you that because I didn't stop the gunfight at Julong Cave, four of the ten people who died there were fatally wounded by bullets fired from my pistol. I have no recollection of firing a single shot, nor do I know how they died."

Hawke was quite surprised and didn't know what to say for a moment, so he just stared at him quietly.

Xu Haicheng looked at his hands and said, "I'm scared. I don't know if my hands are unconsciously stained with blood..." He chuckled coldly, then suddenly raised his eyelids and stared at Hawke. "It's not that I don't want to go back to the police force, it's just that I don't know if I can still be a policeman with a clear conscience. You heard it just now..." He lowered his eyes, his face full of gloom.

"Professor Ma is quite ill; what he just said may not be true," Hawke couldn't help but comfort him.

A grateful smile appeared on Xu Haicheng's lips. He patted Hawke on the shoulder and walked towards the courtyard gate. Hawke didn't say anything more, watching his tall figure gradually disappear into the distance.

Back home, thinking of Ma Junnan's emaciated appearance and piercing screams, Xu Haicheng tossed and turned until midnight before finally falling asleep. The nightmare crept in again; for the past six months, Xu Haicheng hadn't had a single peaceful night's sleep.

As usual, the dream was fleeting and rapidly changing. One moment he was speaking with Fang Li, the next he was in the Gathering Dragon Cave, water droplets dripping into his heart; Xiao Zhang raised a gun at him, then in an instant Xiao Zhang's face transformed into a giant bat, lunging at him with sharp teeth; inexplicably, he found himself in a snow-white hospital room, where Lu Minghua was digging a hole, his mouth close to the entrance, muttering something. He moved closer, wanting to hear more…

"You really don't remember?" Lu Minghua asked, but his voice sounded hoarse and low, unlike a woman's. He looked up in surprise and saw Ma Junnan's withered face. His mouth opened and closed, exhaling a breath of stale air. The stale air swirled into a black mist, and from within the mist, a blood-red figure vaguely emerged, a person with a pair of cold, glass-like eyes…

The nightmare ended, and Xu Haicheng opened his eyes, drenched in sweat as if he had been pulled from water. He recalled the dream, remembering that the glassy eyes weren't new to him, but there had never been a specific person associated with them before.

Today is the last day of his leave. He got up, washed up, put on his police uniform, and returned to the city bureau.

Thinking back, it had been almost half a year since he'd been back to the bureau, and he felt a slight nervousness. Stepping into the police station building, a familiar solemnity washed over him. The cold marble floor tiles, the rigidly arranged information windows, the large mirror at the entrance for adjusting one's attire—all these things felt strangely welcoming to Xu Haicheng. Several colleagues he encountered along the way greeted him warmly, as if he had never left this place.

With mixed feelings, Xu Haicheng knocked on the director's office door.