Because the fabric store was having a promotion that day, Ju Nian had to work very late. She had already told Fei Ming beforehand that he could eat something at home on weekends when he was staying at home. The child had gotten used to her being less attentive when she was busy with work, and had grown up quite a bit in the past year or two, and was no longer as dependent on adults.
After finally finishing the inventory, Ju Nian returned home close to midnight. By then, the children's programs on TV had long ended, and Fei Ming, who usually loved watching TV, was already dreaming in bed. Afraid of waking Fei Ming, Ju Nian deliberately tiptoed past her room, but was surprised to find light leaking from the crack in Fei Ming's door. Why was the child keeping the light on so late?
How could Fei Ming possibly sleep? She couldn't bear to go to sleep.
From the moment Uncle Han Shu unexpectedly appeared in her classroom, she was like an ugly duckling that had fallen into a muddy pond, suddenly blown by a gust of wind to the clouds, floating on air, only to find, in the astonished eyes of others, that her muddy body had transformed into the feathers of a swan.
After Uncle Han Shu said that in front of everyone, Fei Ming and Li Xiaomeng, like the others, did not immediately understand the meaning behind his words. However, Teacher Wang seemed quite startled.
"You mean, you're Xie Feiming's father? How can you have such a grown daughter?"
After he finished speaking, most of the students present opened their mouths in an "O" shape. Fei Ming was also stunned, staring blankly at Han Shu without daring to blink.
Han Shu smiled and patted Fei Ming's long ponytail: "Didn't you say your badminton racket broke? I almost couldn't get it to you in time. Go on, don't miss your match."
Without waiting for Fei Ming to recover from her petrified state, he stood up, checked his watch, and smiled at the teacher, saying, "I have something to do, so I'll have to go first. I'll leave this child in your care." After saying that, he bent down again, placed the new racket in Fei Ming's hand, made a victory gesture, pinched her cheek, and then waved goodbye.
Fei Ming felt as if she had fallen into a fairy tale dream. As soon as Han Shu left, her classmates asked her about him with great curiosity.
"Feiming, is he really your father?"
"That can't be right, how could your dad be so young?"
"Xie Feiming is right, his dad is really handsome."
"How come I've never heard of him before? Is he your stepfather?"
The chattering sounds lingered in Fei Ming's ears, but none of them penetrated her mind. At that moment, she felt as if she were floating in the air, with only the brand-new racket in her hand being truly real. She gently unzipped the racket cover and took out the most incredible gift of her ten years of life. All she heard was Li Te exclaim, "Wow!" "The new YONEX!" Then Li Xiaomeng, Liu Qian, and the others gathered around.
"show me."
"Let me see too..."
They frantically touched Fei Ming's new racket, forgetting that just fifteen minutes ago, its owner was a boastful braggart whom everyone despised, no one mocked her for being a poor orphan, and no one doubted the young and handsome father she had created in her own dreams. For the first time, she became the envy of everyone.
After their curiosity was satisfied, Fei Ming slowly reached out and cautiously touched the racket net, once, then again, before finally holding it tightly in her hand with peace of mind. This was hers! She had a new racket that was more perfect than she could have imagined, and a new father who was more perfect than she could have imagined, and perhaps even a future. She wanted to shout, to laugh out loud, to run, but she only shed a single tear, which evaporated with joy before it even fell.
When Ju Nian pushed open the door, this was the scene she saw. The child was lying on the bed, holding a racket, her eyes wide open and showing no signs of sleepiness, but she looked like she was in a daze. When she realized Ju Nian was there, she jumped up nervously and hurriedly put the racket back under the covers.
"Auntie, you're back."
"Hmm." Ju Nian gently lifted Fei Ming's blanket and, seeing Fei Ming's hesitant expression, took out the racket. She was an expert; she weighed the racket in her hand. It was a good thing, or rather, a luxury item. It was made of ultra-rigid carbon fiber, with a shock-absorbing handle, weighing 5u, with a 5G handle, a soft shaft, and a bright yellow color. It looked like it cost no less than a thousand yuan, but it also seemed like a model specially prepared for a little girl.
From the moment Ju Nian took the racket in her hand, Fei Ming's eyes never left it, as if he longed to take it away but lacked the courage, and could only watch sadly. How could his aunt have seen this? He's doomed now.
"This stuff is really nice." Ju Nian sat down by Fei Ming's bedside and watched as Fei Ming quietly reached out to touch the thing she was hugging while sleeping. Ju Nian subtly moved the paddle, placing it where Fei Ming couldn't reach it. "Can you tell me how I got it?"
Her tone was tinged with worry. This was definitely not something a child, or even a family like theirs, could afford. Regardless of the reason, it was illogical for Fei Ming to cherish her so dearly. Fei Ming was sensitive, concerned with her image, and prone to fantasy—of course, these were childlike traits—but Ju Nian was terrified she would make a wrong move. She knew she wasn't a good parent, but over the years, she had truly tried her best.
"I didn't steal it! Someone gave it to me!" Fei Ming said in a shrill voice.
"I'm still curious, who sent you such an expensive gift?"
At this moment, Fei Ming became like a tightly closed oyster, desperately guarding the pearl of secrets hidden in her heart. She couldn't and didn't want to tell anyone; it was her secret with Uncle Han Shu.
Ju Nian didn't receive an answer. She sat there blankly for a while. The answer wasn't actually that hard to guess. Who else could it be? For eleven years, apart from the occasional gift from her cousin, she and Fei Ming had never received any gifts.
"Is it the uncle you saw that day?"
Silence speaks volumes.
"Feiming, I remember telling you that children shouldn't accept gifts from strangers without a reason..."
"He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Han Shu!"
"He gave you a racket, so he's no longer a stranger? You don't even know where he came from or why he came. I always thought you were a smart kid."
"I like him!" Fei Ming said solemnly, as if this was a reason above all principles and laws. "I just like him. I like him whether he gives me a racket or not. I know who is good to me."
Ju Nian gave a wry smile as she listened to Fei Ming vividly recount his extraordinary encounter that afternoon, describing his surprise and the envy of his classmates. The more he talked, the more radiant he became, as if he had forgotten his aunt's possible reproach.
Ju Nian understood. Han Shu, if he wanted to, always knew how to win a girl's heart. How many people could resist him? Especially a little kid like Fei Ming. With a little trickery, he easily became the angel in the heart of a ten-year-old girl.
Yes, who hasn't been vain? Like Guo Xiang on her birthday, coinciding with a martial arts tournament, her parents neglected her, her sister Guo Fu mocked her, and finally Yang Guo led a group of heroes to appear just in time, using all their ingenuity and bizarre techniques to light up a sky full of fireworks for her. The clever young master, from that moment on, lived a life of magnificent yet poignant dreams. Like Harry Potter, orphaned and accustomed to solitude, suddenly, amidst the envious gazes of his classmates, he opened the fire crossbow delivered by Sirius Black via owl, and the lonely child thought he had finally found home. Who hasn't dreamt of such things? Who hasn't longed to be the protagonist in such a scenario? She was no exception when she was young. Although her dreams were completely different from those of others.
Ju Nian stopped herself from criticizing the child. This poor child deserved to dream, but she feared that Fei Ming's dream would be endless and the awakening too painful. So she sighed, "He shouldn't lie to a child!"
Fei Ming pitifully grabbed Ju Nian's sleeve, "Auntie, I hope this is true, I want him to be my father!"
Chapter Twelve: Say it, say you've wronged me.
The fabric store's promotional activities were still ongoing, with signs advertising discounts of 40% or more plastered everywhere, from the store entrance to all prominent locations inside. Despite the relatively remote location, the weekend had attracted quite a few customers. Ju Nian, the day shift supervisor, was so busy all morning that she barely had time to drink water.
When Han Shu pushed open the door, it was during peak customer hours. He was clearly a little absent-minded, not even noticing the huge discount poster. He was quite startled by the crowd in the store and almost thought he had gone to the wrong place. He went back out to check again before he realized what had happened.
He had been to this store three times. The first time he met Xie Junian with Zhu Xiaobei, the other two times were not very coincidental. Xie Junian was either leaving after handing over her shift or on leave. He didn't get to see her, and he was too embarrassed to leave empty-handed after picking and choosing for half a day. So he did buy a lot of things for his home.
Last night, Han Shu smoked two cigarettes by his bedroom window—a habit he picked up in high school. Back then, during breaks from his studies, he would hide in the bathroom at school or home, practicing different smoking positions in front of the mirror, for which he was often scolded by Dean Han. Later, in college, he was finally free to do what he liked, but somehow, his smoking addiction disappeared. Now, he carries a pack of cigarettes with him, often lasting a month, unless he experiences significant emotional fluctuations or works overtime all night, at which point he'll take a puff. More often than not, he uses them to "offer" cigarettes to the suspects he's investigating. He couldn't figure out whether his sudden urge to smoke last night stemmed from excitement or frustration. However, when he woke up this morning, he was surprised to find a finger-sized hole burned into his newly installed curtains by cigarette ash, so he had to come here early in the morning.
Xie Junian seemed genuinely busy. First, she smiled broadly as she helped a bald, obese middle-aged man pick out a bed sheet of an extremely horribly colored hue. Han Shu bet that the fat man, holding the new sheet and looking at Xie Junian with a satisfied expression, was more likely driven by longing for the person lying on it, which truly disgusted him. After seeing the fat man off, Xie Junian was called over by a couple. The couple seemed to want to buy everything, but also seemed dissatisfied with nothing. Han Shu wandered around the store for half an hour, and the woman in the couple still hadn't found any curtains she liked. Her picky gestures and critical expressions made it easy to think she was dealing with garbage, not fabric. Given this, Han Shu was utterly baffled as to why she was wasting her time here.
Han Shu pretended to look at the curtains as well, and slowly moved closer. Sure enough, the woman was still complaining. The bright ones were too frivolous, the plain ones were too gloomy, the cartoon ones were too childish, and the lace ones were too complicated. Just listening to her endless complaints made Han Shu want to die. Xie Junian's smile was still as warm as ever. Strangely, she really didn't seem to have the slightest bit of impatience.
"How about this, honey?"
"Oh dear, it's too transparent. People in the building across the street can see right through. There's no privacy at all."
Hearing this conversation, Han Shu, rather unkindly, recalled a joke: if the people in the building across the street were to accidentally see the woman of this house naked, they would surely draw their curtains tightly and never want to open them again. Thinking this, he chuckled to himself. His soft laughter drew a glance from the couple and Xie Junian.
Han Shu clenched his fist and placed it to his lips, feigning a cough to conceal his smile. Then, he looked at the transparent fabric the woman found so appealing, a look of surprise on his face, and muttered to himself, "This is nice, miss. How much is this per meter?"
Xie Junian was somewhat surprised, but still cooperated quite well. She replied, "After the discount, it's 65 yuan per meter, which is a great deal, sir. However, the store's stock is probably only enough for one window."
"It's alright, one window is enough." Han Shu's love for the curtains seemed genuine.
"This lady..."
"We were here first!" The woman was indeed indignant, clutching the curtain tightly as if it would fly away if she let go. "Give me the receipt, I want this one."
"Oh, this... no problem, I'll take you both to the cashier." Ju Nian seemed a bit helpless. The woman had finally snatched back her curtains and, while paying, didn't forget to give Han Shu a defiant look.
Han Shu suppressed a laugh and said to Xie Junian in a dejected voice, "Miss, you have to recommend one that's similar to that one."
Upon hearing this, Ju Nian had no choice but to accept it. People who come looking for trouble are impossible to avoid. She could only call over another younger sister to lead the couple to pay their bill, and then walked back to a meter away from Han Shu.
"Aren't you grateful that I got rid of that troublesome old witch for you? What's that saying again? 'No one tills barren land, but if it's tilled, everyone will fight over it.' That makes perfect sense." Han Shu tried to appear relaxed.
“It’s okay to be picky; the customer is king,” Xie Junian replied matter-of-factly.
Han Shu didn't seem to like talking to people more than a meter away. He took half a step forward and smiled, "Then why don't you recommend one to me, your god?"
Xie Junian took a half step back just in time; she was nervous, and Han Shu knew it.
“I thought God’s house didn’t have curtains,” Xie Junian said softly.
"Well, my new bedroom curtains were accidentally burned with cigarette ash, leaving a small hole." To prove his point, Han Shu gestured to show the size of the hole. "I prefer things to be perfect, so..."
"Actually, if you really have a small hole in your curtains, there's an advantage to it. With the little bit of light from the streetlight shining through the hole, you can find your slippers when you get up to go to the bathroom at night without turning on the light," Xie Junian suggested cautiously.
Han Shu wanted to say, "Not bad, she has a good sense of humor," but he found she seemed more sincere than him. He tapped his chin, feeling a bit like he was back. Xie Junian hadn't changed in some ways. She'd always been like this: the first time you looked at her, she seemed unremarkable; the second time, even more unremarkable; the third time, she'd suddenly surprise you with her quiet demeanor. She didn't like arguing with people, and she never liked to stand out. If you messed with her the first time, she'd beg you; the second time, she'd avoid you; but the third time, she'd slap you harder than anyone else. Han Shu always felt she looked like a rabbit—white and timid—but her words were so cheeky. Was this the essence of a rogue rabbit?
Han Shu didn't want to discuss the connection between the hole in the curtain and needing to find slippers in the middle of the night to pee with her. He made a surrender gesture and said seriously, "Um, Xie... Ju Nian, let's not talk about anything else, let's have a proper and serious talk, okay?"
"Talk here?" Ju Nian glanced around the increasingly crowded store and felt genuinely skeptical.
"It would be even better if you could grace us with your presence at another time."
Xie Junian hesitated for a moment, "To be honest, I thought about it for quite a while after you came to see me that day..."
"And the result?" Han Shu was very dissatisfied with her pause at this moment.
"In the end... I don't know what to say. If you're asking about the child, I can tell you responsibly that Fei Ming has nothing to do with you. Without hurting her, I'm willing to prove it in any way possible, really..." As she spoke, a manager-looking person walked over. Xie Junian called out "Manager," and then, much to Han Shu's disdain, quickly changed the subject, "Really, sir, this price is already very favorable. Our store only has this promotion once a year, and this fabric suits your temperament very well."
After the manager's back had been out of sight for a while, Han Shu angrily threw away the piece of Disney-patterned fabric that Xie Junian had handed him. What a load of rubbish! It was just incomprehensible.
"She's not your child, so please don't let her have unrealistic fantasies, okay?" As if worried that Han Shu hadn't understood her words, she lowered her voice and repeated them.
"Then give me an explanation, whose child is it? Don't tell me it's your cousin's. How could your cousin, who adopted the child, leave it to you to raise? Do you look like a good nanny? You'd better come up with a reason that can convince me." Han Shu started to act like a rogue. He easily threw his own legislative principles of "whoever makes the claim must prove it" and "presumption of innocence" to Mars. As for the idea that "citizens' privacy is sacred and inviolable," that was utter nonsense.
“I did adopt the child from an orphanage, but I have a criminal record and I didn’t meet the requirements, so my cousin helped me. As for why, that’s my business.”
Here we go again. Why couldn't they just say something different? It was at times like this that Han Shu felt utterly powerless. His arrogance vanished, his mind a jumble of emotions. The child wasn't his? He hadn't been unaware of this possibility these past few days. After all, reality wasn't a soap opera, and just half a month ago, he had even considered that if he got married, he would never have children, remaining childless for life. More importantly, sharing a bloodline with some random woman wasn't something to look forward to. But hearing this answer, he suddenly felt a pang of sadness—not disappointment, not pain, just a deep, unsettling sadness, as if something had broken, yet there was no physical pain, only an overwhelming sense of loss.
He began to realize that he couldn't stand up to any argument he had against her. It seemed that none of his arguments were valid. From the past to the present, Xie Junian had always been unbearable to him, but she had never done anything wrong—the one who was wrong was himself. Her concessions only fueled his arrogance.
"Let me put it this way... I know you haven't had a good time these past few years..."
"Well, actually I'm doing pretty well."
"Please don't interrupt me, okay? Sigh, I don't know what to say either. I was too young and immature back then. I... I know you look down on me... I didn't go to you because I was afraid to see you, very afraid. If I saw you, I would think, 'So, so this is the kind of person Han Shu is...' Do you understand what I mean? I think I owe you money, but I don't know how to pay it back, so I have to hide. That's why I'd rather not know where you are. I'm just that useless. You should look down on me..." Never before had a debate or statement made Han Shu feel so difficult. All the language in the world seemed to be meaningless. Of all the words, he just couldn't find a suitable one.
"It sounds a bit shameless to say that, doesn't it?" He chuckled self-deprecatingly and continued, "Over the years, I've almost convinced myself to forget those things. I can't think about them, otherwise I can't sleep when the lights are off, and when I'm very sleepy, I have all sorts of random dreams... It seems like I'm almost there, and then I saw you... I, I'm in so much pain." After saying that, those emotions that he was so bad at expressing suddenly found an outlet. No matter what he said, it all boiled down to this one sentence, so he repeated, "Xie Junian, I'm really in so much pain."
Ju Nian glanced around. The sight of a striking man sobbing uncontrollably before her was definitely not something she wanted to be in at this time, in this place. Others might find his words incoherent, but she finally understood what Han Shu meant: "You feel sorry for me and want to repent, right?"
Han Shu stared blankly, neither nodding nor shaking his head.
"Alright, if you feel guilty, just say so. Han Shu, say it, apologize to me... Why won't you say it? Say you were wrong, confess to me, and say you're sorry to me!"
Han Shu was somewhat bewildered, but before his mind could function properly, the words had already slipped out of his mouth. How many years had they been lurking in his heart?
"I'm sorry... Ju Nian, I'm so sorry."
Xie Junian looked at him and said, word by word, "Fine, I forgive you, Han Shu."
Chapter Thirteen: I had just finished preparing when she...
Han Shu returned to his residence and saw Zhu Xiaobei chatting with the security guard downstairs, carrying a badminton racket. He then remembered that he and Xiaobei had agreed to meet once a week. He glanced at the time with annoyance. Fortunately, there were still three minutes left before the agreed time. Zhu Xiaobei was early, but carrying his newly purchased curtains, he suddenly felt a little embarrassed.
Zhu Xiaobei was having a great time chatting with the middle-aged gatekeeper when someone reminded her that Han Shu was passing by. She grabbed her racket and jumped over to Han Shu's side in three quick steps, picked up his wrist to check the time, and laughed, "Damn, the elites are all so good at keeping track of time."
They said they wanted to play ball together, and the court had already been booked in advance. Han Shu was an energetic and active person; if he didn't stretch his muscles for a while, he would feel restless. This time, seeing Zhu Xiaobei in his sports gear, he actually felt a little tired. But he didn't want to spoil Zhu Xiaobei's fun, since they had agreed beforehand, so he said, "Give me five more minutes, I'll go upstairs to change. You can go upstairs and sit for a while, or continue chatting, I'll be done in a few minutes."
Zhu Xiaobei followed him a few steps without commenting, and when she saw that no one was around, she teased, "Look at your eyebrows, they're all knotted up on your forehead. It's been a week, have you been promoted from dad to grandpa again?"
Han Shu gave an exaggerated, fake laugh twice, "It's very funny."
"Honestly, I'm used to seeing you so smug, I'm not used to this expression."
Han Shu rubbed his face with both hands, made a face-changing expression, and faced her with a standard six-tooth smile, "Are you satisfied with this, sir?"